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(AZCentral)   Pastor accused of selling heroin, methamphetamine and prescription drugs to his followers to help bring them closer to God. Then again, an overdose would technically bring them closer to God   (azcentral.com) divider line 36
    More: Weird, Fountain Hills, god, prescription drugs, Maricopa County Sheriff's Office, glass, MCSO, overdose, heroin  
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2360 clicks; posted to Main » on 29 Nov 2012 at 10:47 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



36 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2012-11-29 09:44:51 AM
Well, he's already selling them one drug by being a Pastor, might as well include a few more.
 
2012-11-29 10:51:04 AM
tvmedia.ign.com
 
2012-11-29 10:51:08 AM
I like how he's old school and gives them some for free at first, then when they are hooked he starts selling it to them.
 
2012-11-29 10:53:43 AM
Trent Reznor knew how to get closer to god.... much healthier than meth. just saying.
 
2012-11-29 10:55:37 AM
Because after overdosing they would no longer exist?
 
2012-11-29 10:55:47 AM
good for him, he wasn't blowing kids.
 
2012-11-29 10:56:59 AM

darth_badger: I like how he's old school and gives them some for free at first, then when they are hooked he starts selling it to them.


That's how you lure them in

/if that business plan worked for God, it'll work for drugs
 
2012-11-29 10:57:44 AM

thecpt: Trent Reznor knew how to get closer to god.... much healthier than meth. just saying.


Then again, priests have tried the "fark you like an animal" approach for quite some time as well.

/ you beat me to Reznor reference
 
2012-11-29 10:57:47 AM
LSD and peyote would be more appropriate.
 
2012-11-29 10:58:09 AM
Then again, an overdose would technically bring them closer to God

Well......if there was a god.
 
2012-11-29 10:59:16 AM
Big Aleutian man with long hair and a harpoon seen delivering the goods to the pastor
 
2012-11-29 11:00:57 AM
g-ecx.images-amazon.com
 
2012-11-29 11:01:25 AM
Gee. A "family values" conservative living the "Do as I say, not as I do" lifestyle? This is the most shocking thing EVAR!
 
2012-11-29 11:01:33 AM
At least he wasn't selling them opiates, amirite?
 
2012-11-29 11:05:55 AM
Heroin, meth, and prescription pills? Well, at least he wasn't selling pot.

/Conservative drugs are worse than liberal drugs.
 
S23
2012-11-29 11:09:44 AM
wanted for questioning:

www.bitcandy.com
 
2012-11-29 11:12:26 AM

Rembrant_Q_Einstein: LSD and peyote would be more appropriate.


Came here for this, leaving satisfied.
 
2012-11-29 11:39:10 AM

offacue: Then again, an overdose would technically bring them closer to God

Well......if there was a god.


Shhhhh... we've got them right at the close.... they can talk to another department about refunds later.
 
2012-11-29 11:49:35 AM
My goal in life is to develop a religion wherein hallucinogens would be our method of worship, and would thus have to be decriminalized for use in our ceremonies. Our slogan would be: "Other religions may tell you about God, but only Skailicans get to speak with Her."
 
2012-11-29 11:55:09 AM
Rembrant_Q_Einstein:

LSD and peyote would be more appropriate.

Heroin made me feel heavenly. So until I'm dying already I ain't doing it again: my current vices are expensive enough.

On the other hand, once on LSD I became convinced that the Satanists behind the CIA were out to get me "just because." Trent Reznor was part of the soundtrack.

YMMV.
 
2012-11-29 11:56:37 AM

Skail: My goal in life is to develop a religion wherein hallucinogens would be our method of worship, and would thus have to be decriminalized for use in our ceremonies. Our slogan would be: "Other religions may tell you about God, but only Skailicans get to speak with Her."


Your church sounds like União do Vegetal
 
2012-11-29 12:25:13 PM

robohobo: [g-ecx.images-amazon.com image 850x406]


Came here for this. Damn that Lester Coggins...
 
2012-11-29 12:27:08 PM

No Time To Explain: darth_badger: I like how he's old school and gives them some for free at first, then when they are hooked he starts selling it to them.

That's how you lure them in

/if that business plan worked for God, it'll work for drugs


Works for the Internet, too.
 
2012-11-29 12:30:51 PM

Grammatik Polizei: Skail: My goal in life is to develop a religion wherein hallucinogens would be our method of worship, and would thus have to be decriminalized for use in our ceremonies. Our slogan would be: "Other religions may tell you about God, but only Skailicans get to speak with Her."

Your church sounds like União do Vegetal


*reads link* Huh. So it does. Still, though, we'd provide alternatives. We'll be a free-market hallucinogenic church.
 
2012-11-29 12:32:36 PM

Skail: My goal in life is to develop a religion wherein hallucinogens would be our method of worship, and would thus have to be decriminalized for use in our ceremonies. Our slogan would be: "Other religions may tell you about God, but only Skailicans get to speak with Her."


Yeah...about that.
That would be the Neo-American Church.
I sometimes claim to be a member of The Pale Rasta Church of Emperor Haile Selassie I.
Hasn't worked yet.
 
2012-11-29 12:35:56 PM
You let me violate you, you let me desecrate you
You let me penetrate you, you let me complicate you
Help me I broke apart my insides, help me I've got no soul to sell
Help me the only thing that works for me, help me get away from myself
I want to fark you like an animal
I want to feel you from the inside
I want to fark you like an animal
My whole existence is flawed
You get me closer to god
You can have my isolation, you can have the hate that it brings
You can have my absence of faith, you can have my everything
Help me tear down my reason, help me its' your sex I can smell
Help me you make me perfect, help me become somebody else
I want to fark you like an animal
I want to feel you from the inside
I want to fark you like an animal
My whole existence is flawed
You get me closer to god

Through every forest, above the trees
Within my stomach, scraped off my knees
I drink the honey inside your hive
You are the reason I stay alive
 
2012-11-29 12:36:42 PM

The One True TheDavid: Rembrant_Q_Einstein:

LSD and peyote would be more appropriate.

Heroin made me feel heavenly. So until I'm dying already I ain't doing it again: my current vices are expensive enough.

On the other hand, once on LSD I became convinced that the Satanists behind the CIA were out to get me "just because." Trent Reznor was part of the soundtrack.

YMMV.


I remember every trip I've ever had and I found them all to be very enjoyable, clarifying and spiritual. Plus by friends' shag carpet was erupting like a volcano.
 
2012-11-29 01:01:22 PM

Rembrant_Q_Einstein: LSD and peyote would be more appropriate.


Just ask this guy:

law2.umkc.edu
 
2012-11-29 01:04:13 PM
Fountain Hills
bare mountain
mr. g
eugene oregon
reets of california let it burn let it burns
its get bouncer let it burn let it burn
 
2012-11-29 01:06:37 PM

Nurglitch: At least he wasn't selling them opiates, amirite?


Not sure if serious, laughed anyway.  10/10 trolling. Simple but eloquent.
 
2012-11-29 01:36:12 PM
That's the town where Sheriff Joe lives. Go figure.
 
2012-11-29 01:37:48 PM

Nurglitch: At least he wasn't selling them opiates, amirite?


Um, heroin is an opiate.
 
2012-11-29 01:40:24 PM
If you took all those at the same time, you would probably would feel like you were talking to God.
 
2012-11-29 06:16:32 PM
hey Hiro, wanna try some Snow Crash?

free sample!!
 
2012-11-29 07:47:59 PM
This is where the second winning powerball ticket was sold. Sheriff Joe got tipped to the winner and this is a shake down.
 
2012-11-30 01:02:37 AM

thecpt: Trent Reznor knew how to get closer to god.... much healthier than meth. just saying.


I *suppose* heroin is healthier than meth, I guess...

/take the song in the context of the rest of the album
 
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