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(NBC News)   Winning Powerball numbers announced: 05-16-22-....ah, it doesn't matter. You didn't win   (usnews.nbcnews.com) divider line 17
    More: Obvious, Powerball, cash value, NBC News, ConAgra Foods, Virgin Islands, lump sums, Mega Millions  
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5609 clicks; posted to Main » on 29 Nov 2012 at 12:01 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Archived thread
2012-11-29 12:24:46 AM
4 votes:
If it helps the millions of people who played and lost tonight: It could be worse, you could have won the jackpot causing you to become your own worst enemy. Imagine, friends & family clawing at you for money thus making you turn to drugs and alcohol which then leads you to having a one night stand with a woman who claimed she did porno in the 80s, then she accuses you of rape and tries to sue you. You freak out and move to Tibet and lodge up at a monastery only to find out that your lawyer/friends/family/bookie/drug dealer climbed up those 800 steps to track you down. You panic, attempt suicide via gunshot to the head and fail causing you to become brain dead. Your family then starts to argue about power of attorney while you lay in your hospital bed like a vegetable and late at night when it's all quiet the nurse pees in your mouth and farts in your face.
2012-11-29 01:06:42 AM
3 votes:
tomnast.com
2012-11-29 12:30:30 AM
2 votes:
3.bp.blogspot.com
2012-11-29 01:06:58 PM
1 votes:

Smeggy Smurf: /will have to settle for jerking off in front of a fan


Don't stand too close
2012-11-29 11:08:53 AM
1 votes:
I bought 2 five piece chicken nuggets for 2 dollars instead of a lotto ticket, so my gamble netted me 10 chicken nuggets. I'm ok with that ROI
2012-11-29 09:45:40 AM
1 votes:

ytterbium: Missouri, eh? Hoping for an excited phone call from a family member or friend later today.

/we're not all mouthbreathers


dkimball: Wow, the GDP of Missouri just doubled.


Love this from one of the sportswriters in St. Louis:

i134.photobucket.com

Of course, it would be crazy if somebody actually used that criteria to pick the numbers. But couldn't you see some child of the '80s reeling off their favorite Cards players of the last while? Although they probably would've had somebody besides Vince Coleman in there...not sure how well liked he was.
2012-11-29 08:32:49 AM
1 votes:
"Winning Powerball numbers announced: 05-16-22-....ah, it doesn't matter. You didn't win"

Oh yes, I did. Now I may be able to afford the steep monthly fees for Total Fark.
2012-11-29 01:39:25 AM
1 votes:

you are a puppet: Ha, I love that all the numbers were under 31. All the "lottery winning tips" articles that came out this week were saying to pick numbers bigger than that otherwise you'd have to split jackpots with people who picked birthdays.

Winners in Arizona and Missouri, that sucks. Probably mouthbreathers


What? They haven't announced who won yet.
2012-11-29 01:08:53 AM
1 votes:
Well...I'm certainly going to have an awkward conversation with the guy delivering my car carrier full of Aston-Martins in a few hours when the subject meanders to "method of payment."
2012-11-29 12:55:58 AM
1 votes:
I usually play the MegaMillions twice a week, but sprang for the extra $2 today. There was a guy behind me who smelled like tar and farts & was wearing an orange construction vest that asked for $100 in tickets.

With the daydreaming I did on the walk home, I figured I got $2.06 in entertainment. Not a bad investment.

Just checked the numbers and I hit the Powerball, which means I win $4. I'm investing half in another ticket, the other half in a soda and taquito.

I come out another $2.06 ahead in entertainment, plus a soda, taquito, and diarrhea.

/You can't win if you don't play.
2012-11-29 12:42:39 AM
1 votes:
I never play the lotto. It is because I can not play my lucky number. The problem is that it is only lucky is hexidecimal format.
2012-11-29 12:34:47 AM
1 votes:
Trade the cash for the beef for the body for the hate
2012-11-29 12:31:56 AM
1 votes:

LegacyDL: If it helps the millions of people who played and lost tonight: It could be worse, you could have won the jackpot causing you to become your own worst enemy. Imagine, friends & family clawing at you for money thus making you turn to drugs and alcohol which then leads you to having a one night stand with a woman who claimed she did porno in the 80s, then she accuses you of rape and tries to sue you. You freak out and move to Tibet and lodge up at a monastery only to find out that your lawyer/friends/family/bookie/drug dealer climbed up those 800 steps to track you down. You panic, attempt suicide via gunshot to the head and fail causing you to become brain dead. Your family then starts to argue about power of attorney while you lay in your hospital bed like a vegetable and late at night when it's all quiet the nurse pees in your mouth and farts in your face.


I like the direction your thoughts move. Newsletter?
2012-11-29 12:19:11 AM
1 votes:
$4!!! OMG, suck it biatches!1
2012-11-29 12:16:27 AM
1 votes:

fusillade762: I was at the liquor store earlier and everyone in line in front of me bought at least one ticket. I almost bought one. Almost.


see! your indecision just cost you $550 million!
2012-11-29 12:13:17 AM
1 votes:

ltdanman44: so did someone win it all or is it still going


Yep, all 417 winners have come forward and the media is in a frenzy!
2012-11-29 12:10:21 AM
1 votes:
Yeah, I never win *anything*.

Of course, I never play.
 
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