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(Scientific American)   Study discovers why batshiat insane is so attractive   (scientificamerican.com ) divider line
    More: Interesting, Southern University, Romney family, narcissists, psychology, Washington University  
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20312 clicks; posted to Main » on 29 Nov 2012 at 7:24 AM (4 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

2012-11-29 09:11:34 AM  
8 votes:
Unrepressed Memory

Oh yeah... This is so great! You're so hard! This is nothing like Greg. He was a guy I met in the library. We tried to do it in the stair well but he couldn't get it up. So we went back to the dorm and he put my panties on it seemed to work. He could come like three or four times in a row like that.

Now Steve likes this (yeah. we're still doing it) . But he cried a lot so I had to mommy him. Do you want me to mommy you? No? Okay. But we should try it sometimes.

Dave wanted to put it in my pooper. Do you think that makes him gay? It's feels like a BM going backwards (laughing). But his peener was pretty tiny. I mean, if he got it up and walked in to a wall, he'd hurt his nose first.

Yes. Yes! Yes! Wow. You know who else could make me come like that? Frank. He could just touch me and I'd lose it. I probably miss Frank the most. He was a good, generous lover. Never took no for an answer, if you get my drift.

(nothing I am doing now counts as sex. It's more like completing a contract)

That feels nice. Do you want me to wiggle around? Safir liked it when a wiggled my a$$. He'd scream in Farsi and call me his love camel. Another one that like the back door but he also visited the main entrance too. I guess that doesn't make him gay, right?

I'll take it on the boobs but no where else. You gotta set your limits. You know how many guys wanted to stick that thing in my mouth? Lots! Eww. Gross! I'm not saying I don't like it, but want a little more attention than just getting pushed to my knees and looking at that. I mean, it's cool if there's like two guys you just met and you just want to see their faces when you do something like that. But when you're serious, like we are, there have to be limits.

Are we done? Oh. That was nice. You're one of the best, for sure.


And what I should have said...

I have to tell you. I am an alien from the planet Nexxus 5. We name and number our planets because we have a whole bunch of them. I was sent here to have sex with an Earth female. You were chosen from all the others, so that must be something. I will be returning to my home planet now. I'll release this Earth male's body and wipe his memory on the way out. He won't know you after tonight. Sorry.

Oh and if I knocked you up, Nexxus women usually have litters of 200 offsprings. Yeah. Two hundred kids. The birthing usually takes a couple of months. If you don't want 200 kids, you'd better do something about it, like right now. Well, I've gotta catch the 11:10 UFO. It's been swell. Nanoo. Nanoo. 

/well, I'm off to the psychiatrist. And by psychiatrist, I mean bartender.
2012-11-28 11:07:58 PM  
6 votes:
Timely article. I'll have to read it later since I can't seem to pull it up.

I recently was dating this girl for about 3 weeks. Very hot and really nice. On our last date, we were having drinks and near the end of the date, she reveals....

--she's 28 and been married 4 times, neither one lasting longer than a month
--a cutter
--carries an urn in her purse with her dead dog's ashes
--when she gets to heaven, she will become a fairy
--still farks an ex-husband every 3 days. The one who stole $8000 from her and she's flying to California in 2 weeks to bring on Judge Judy (she showed me the paperwork). Not because she still loves him, I was told. Just because she REALLY wants to have his baby cause the baby would be so beautiful.
--then told me she was in love with me after 4 dates and wants me to help raise said baby.

I've encountered crazy before but never on that level. It was surreal.

/ I swear to FSM that all of this is true.
// I'm sure others will have better encounters
2012-11-28 11:10:02 PM  
5 votes:

alwaysjaded: Timely article. I'll have to read it later since I can't seem to pull it up.

I recently was dating this girl for about 3 weeks. Very hot and really nice. On our last date, we were having drinks and near the end of the date, she reveals....

--she's 28 and been married 4 times, neither one lasting longer than a month
--a cutter
--carries an urn in her purse with her dead dog's ashes
--when she gets to heaven, she will become a fairy
--still farks an ex-husband every 3 days. The one who stole $8000 from her and she's flying to California in 2 weeks to bring on Judge Judy (she showed me the paperwork). Not because she still loves him, I was told. Just because she REALLY wants to have his baby cause the baby would be so beautiful.
--then told me she was in love with me after 4 dates and wants me to help raise said baby.

I've encountered crazy before but never on that level. It was surreal.

/ I swear to FSM that all of this is true.
// I'm sure others will have better encounters


But did you get laid?
2012-11-29 01:15:26 AM  
4 votes:
Because someone bundled up in a flannel nightgown talking about organizing our charitable donations receipts so we're ahead of the game before tax time just doesn't get the reptilian adrenaline pump working like the chick wearing only your bowling trophy screaming she loves you while trying to get a poorly-maintained chainsaw started as she clings to the hood of your speeding car with her other hand?
2012-11-29 03:07:08 AM  
3 votes:

BarkingUnicorn: My fling with crazy was a gorgeous, 5' 10" Swedish gal. We met in a bar, went out to dinner the next night. Asked what she wanted for dessert and she replied, "You." I shoulda known right then.

OK, I did. But it was my turn for crazy.

We had break-the-bed sex, then snuggled. She was nattering about her family when a hunch prompted me to ask, "How old were you when your father started abusing you?" She started crying and asked how I knew. I just did.

Turned out she was an ex-hooker, had a coke habit, and was a mean drunk. I remember a Heineken bottle passing by my ear to break against the wall.

But Gott damn, that gal loved to fark! Got me into my first threesome, with an equally tall brunette lesbian. There were a couple of foursomes, as well. Crazy is contagious.

Lasted about six months. Then she said some "old friends" were making life in Denver difficult for her. She had a job offer as a horse trainer in Arizona. So I drove her in a U-Haul truck to Flagstaff and flew home.

Drank heavily in strip clubs for a couple of weeks and then I was over her and crazy.

That was over 20 years ago and I'm still getting the weirdest boner. :-)


God I hate humble bragging.
2012-11-28 09:22:36 PM  
3 votes:

clyph: Every guy should stick his dick in crazy at least once in his life. It's an important life lesson.

Until you've lived it you just don't understand why people tell you not to do it. It's only in hindsight that can you understand why it was a bad idea.


Hell. Sometimes not understanding is better. I don't know what it feels like to strap a car battery to my nuts while body builders bash my knees with metal rods but I'm willing to accept that it hurts. I don't really want to know how badly it hurts
2012-11-29 08:56:29 AM  
2 votes:
Wow. So much "this" with a lot of the previous posts. I've met a who hot/crazies

1. Worked in my building, we hung out three times (Never spent a dime on her) after the third we were supposed to go to her work party but at the last minute she cancelled saying the party wasn't happening because a supervisor's family had passed (not true). Then two weeks later she said she thought she was pregnant, but later via text said she'll pray the kid away... somehing she said she'd done before.

2. Showed some signs of being crazy the night we hung out and she wanted to spend the night, I knew if she did it would be trouble. I told her no and she went nuts, told me off, kept throwing her jacket at me. I got her to leave, but it took her a few minutes to figure out how to get out of my neighborhood (which makes it hard to fine my place too - bonus).

3. Had a third who double dips and fingered all the food on the first date. She was rude to the waiter and pychotic. I wish I knew that before I went out. I bailed on the date. Never done that before.

I have more
2012-11-29 08:06:27 AM  
2 votes:

Sensual Tyrannosaurus: I've yet to meet any truly crazy people, but then again I don't go out hunting much. I mean i've seen crazy, but not "Poke holes in condoms" crazy or "Cut your balls off with a kitchen knife while you sleep" crazy. Where do these women come from and how do they get that way?

Also, I can't help but comment: Why are people on Fark so old? I swear the average user on this site is about 15 years older than the average user of most sites I find myself on.
It's a good thing because there's less idiocy, but it's hard to see myself as being in a group of peers when everyone else is 40.


Fark is like the online Uncle John's Bathroom Reader, so it naturally draws out a lot of older users, especially crusty, jaded, thrice-divorced IT engineers.
2012-11-29 02:39:39 AM  
2 votes:
My fling with crazy was a gorgeous, 5' 10" Swedish gal. We met in a bar, went out to dinner the next night. Asked what she wanted for dessert and she replied, "You." I shoulda known right then.

OK, I did. But it was my turn for crazy.

We had break-the-bed sex, then snuggled. She was nattering about her family when a hunch prompted me to ask, "How old were you when your father started abusing you?" She started crying and asked how I knew. I just did.

Turned out she was an ex-hooker, had a coke habit, and was a mean drunk. I remember a Heineken bottle passing by my ear to break against the wall.

But Gott damn, that gal loved to fark! Got me into my first threesome, with an equally tall brunette lesbian. There were a couple of foursomes, as well. Crazy is contagious.

Lasted about six months. Then she said some "old friends" were making life in Denver difficult for her. She had a job offer as a horse trainer in Arizona. So I drove her in a U-Haul truck to Flagstaff and flew home.

Drank heavily in strip clubs for a couple of weeks and then I was over her and crazy.

That was over 20 years ago and I'm still getting the weirdest boner. :-)
2012-11-28 10:49:57 PM  
2 votes:
My cousin's neighbor's older brother gave some Spanish Fly to this crazy redhead once and when he came back to the car after going to get some rubbers he found her impaling his pet rabbit on the gear shift...
2012-11-28 09:57:57 PM  
2 votes:

clyph: Every guy should stick his dick in crazy at least once in his life. It's an important life lesson.

Until you've lived it you just don't understand why people tell you not to do it. It's only in hindsight that can you understand why it was a bad idea.


I dated an insanely hot first generation Korean girl back in the late 80's, and she tried to stick a fork through my scrotum because she bought me a pair of silk boxers and I wasn't wearing the very next day when we had sexytime. That should have set off red flags, but I'll admit I stuck with her until after she burned my penis with spaghetti sauce from the stove. That was the last straw.

/never cook naked around crazy chicks.
2012-11-28 08:31:45 PM  
2 votes:
Hot
Single
Sane

Choose two
2012-11-29 05:12:54 PM  
1 vote:

farkin_noob: Hey now, there's lots of talk about crazy biatches in this thread. Guys can be just as crazy. I was seeing this guy and we drunkenly hooked up. He wanted to date me, but I wasn't looking for a relationship. We had a talk and I told him to keep looking until he found somebody he wanted to be with. Of course we could keep farking in the meantime. He said he was okay with that, but then the craziness started. He would ask me to come over for booty and then start crying because he wanted to get married and have babies. After I told him it was over, he started telling everyone about how crazy I was. All the while sending me texts about how much he loves me and misses me. After making it very clear I was never going to see him again, he started threatening suicide. Last I knew he was in the looney bin.

/the sex really was great
//but really who screws up a FWB
///yay slashies!!!!


Are you currently drinking whiskey?
2012-11-29 12:31:32 PM  
1 vote:

CapeFearCadaver: dickfreckle: /recently went home with an insane ex-girlfriend because, I swear, she's the hottest piece of ass I've ever seen and, as you mentioned, caught me drunk one night downtown
//she was was remarkably stable this time, but that only means the next time she'll sprout Medusa hair and start throwing iron skillets at me
Why did you do this?! If I see my ex bf I will run, hide, and doubt I will be able to control the trembling for a week. Drunk or not. Good lord, man!


yeah, you can tell the difference between the guys with psycho exes and the women with psycho exes, can't you? They (mostly) all think it's highly amusing and reminisce about how hot the sex was.

I moved over 100 miles away and I catch my breath if I even see a vehicle like the one he drives. And I left him in 1997. But since we're women, that's all our fault for hooking up with a crazy person.
2012-11-29 12:01:51 PM  
1 vote:
I don't think I've ever stuck my dick in crazy, leading me to suspect that I might be that charming sociopath that many remember with a fond regret after having one too many.

I'm okay with this.
2012-11-29 11:55:22 AM  
1 vote:
I love hot crazy women. It's but one of my many vices that will surely kill me someday.
2012-11-29 10:52:01 AM  
1 vote:
All women are crazy, just to varying degrees.

If you think we can be horrible to men, you should see how we treat each other.

/I'm a chick and I approve this message.
//hates working in an office full of estrogen.
2012-11-29 10:41:49 AM  
1 vote:
Oh - I thought this was an article about my ex-wife ...

/leaving now
2012-11-29 10:02:52 AM  
1 vote:
I'll just leave this here:

ct.fra.bz
2012-11-29 09:11:08 AM  
1 vote:
On your 2nd date when she walks over to the dresser and opens a box to show you "baby", and it's a .357, tell me a shot of adrenaline won't make you side glance for the quickest exit. The window is a considered option. 40 years ago and I still remember.
2012-11-29 08:41:27 AM  
1 vote:
Who you know you should date:
media.ed.edmunds-media.com
Practical, reliable, affordable

Who you want to date:
imageonthefly.autodatadirect.com
Jaw dropping good looks, will get you in places you wouldn't be able to otherwise, completely unobtainable with you current job

Who you end up when you try to date who you want to date:
3.bp.blogspot.com
Suspiciously obtainable, fun for a while, probably won't get better the longer you let it go on
2012-11-29 08:40:23 AM  
1 vote:
arts.blogs.pressdemocrat.com

"Hey, happy three week anniversa- I'M CRAAAAAZY!"
2012-11-29 08:35:34 AM  
1 vote:
as I get older and I make my immediate surroundings more comfortable
I truly don't have to fark insane.
And have less patience for stupid.

wow, maybe I should fark her
*fap*
Or maybe just sit in my leather chair with a glass of wine, pet my unpoisoned dog and watch my big-ass TV

ahhhhhhhhhh
2012-11-29 08:30:30 AM  
1 vote:

Abe Vigoda's Ghost: /The vagina has amazing powers.


Vaginomancy!
2012-11-29 08:23:43 AM  
1 vote:

alwaysjaded: Timely article. I'll have to read it later since I can't seem to pull it up.

I recently was dating this girl for about 3 weeks. Very hot and really nice. On our last date, we were having drinks and near the end of the date, she reveals....

--she's 28 and been married 4 times, neither one lasting longer than a month
--a cutter
--carries an urn in her purse with her dead dog's ashes
--when she gets to heaven, she will become a fairy
--still farks an ex-husband every 3 days. The one who stole $8000 from her and she's flying to California in 2 weeks to bring on Judge Judy (she showed me the paperwork). Not because she still loves him, I was told. Just because she REALLY wants to have his baby cause the baby would be so beautiful.
--then told me she was in love with me after 4 dates and wants me to help raise said baby.

I've encountered crazy before but never on that level. It was surreal.

/ I swear to FSM that all of this is true.
// I'm sure others will have better encounters


Nope, you win.
2012-11-29 08:12:46 AM  
1 vote:

Sensual Tyrannosaurus: verbaltoxin: Sensual Tyrannosaurus: I've yet to meet any truly crazy people, but then again I don't go out hunting much. I mean i've seen crazy, but not "Poke holes in condoms" crazy or "Cut your balls off with a kitchen knife while you sleep" crazy. Where do these women come from and how do they get that way?

Also, I can't help but comment: Why are people on Fark so old? I swear the average user on this site is about 15 years older than the average user of most sites I find myself on.
It's a good thing because there's less idiocy, but it's hard to see myself as being in a group of peers when everyone else is 40.

Fark is like the online Uncle John's Bathroom Reader, so it naturally draws out a lot of older users, especially crusty, jaded, thrice-divorced IT engineers.

I guess I'm just ahead of the curve. 24 year old Mechanical Engineering student here and I've been frequenting this site since...probably 18-19? Didn't make an account until recently, just lurked.


So what's it like looking at your future self?
2012-11-29 08:09:26 AM  
1 vote:

Sensual Tyrannosaurus: I've yet to meet any truly crazy people, but then again I don't go out hunting much. I mean i've seen crazy, but not "Poke holes in condoms" crazy or "Cut your balls off with a kitchen knife while you sleep" crazy. Where do these women come from and how do they get that way?

Also, I can't help but comment: Why are people on Fark so old? I swear the average user on this site is about 15 years older than the average user of most sites I find myself on.
It's a good thing because there's less idiocy, but it's hard to see myself as being in a group of peers when everyone else is 40.


It's because of GeezerFark. You only get an invite when you hit 40. If you think TotalFark is cool you can't imagine what GeezerFark is like.

/You haven't had crazy until you've had GILF crazy.
//Now get off my lawn
2012-11-29 07:56:13 AM  
1 vote:

Sensual Tyrannosaurus: I've yet to meet any truly crazy people, but then again I don't go out hunting much. I mean i've seen crazy, but not "Poke holes in condoms" crazy or "Cut your balls off with a kitchen knife while you sleep" crazy. Where do these women come from and how do they get that way?

Also, I can't help but comment: Why are people on Fark so old? I swear the average user on this site is about 15 years older than the average user of most sites I find myself on.
It's a good thing because there's less idiocy, but it's hard to see myself as being in a group of peers when everyone else is 40.


We cant help we all know all the episodes to Diff'rent Strokes and 8 Is Enough by heart.
2012-11-29 07:39:53 AM  
1 vote:
2damnfunny.com

So this about sums it up then?
2012-11-29 07:36:40 AM  
1 vote:
i94.photobucket.com

Somehow I think this cant all just be "Acting".
2012-11-29 07:34:32 AM  
1 vote:

Mr. Coffee Nerves: Because someone bundled up in a flannel nightgown talking about organizing our charitable donations receipts so we're ahead of the game before tax time just doesn't get the reptilian adrenaline pump working like the chick wearing only your bowling trophy screaming she loves you while trying to get a poorly-maintained chainsaw started as she clings to the hood of your speeding car with her other hand?


Dude, don't judge me.
2012-11-29 12:20:01 AM  
1 vote:

thisisyourbrainonFark: alwaysjaded: SarahDiddle: alwaysjaded: Timely article. I'll have to read it later since I can't seem to pull it up.

I recently was dating this girl for about 3 weeks. Very hot and really nice. On our last date, we were having drinks and near the end of the date, she reveals....

she was in love with me after 4 dates and wants me to help raise said baby. 

/wow, crazy story, bro
//just had a woman yell at me for zoning out after work, dinking around on the 'net and watching sports, instead of talking to her about my day (a day in which nothing of consequence happened)
///why, yes, I am married


GAH!! Just looking at that meme and finally talking about it is making me want to hit the whiskey this evening.

And yea, I hate having to recount a day when nothing of importance happened.
2012-11-29 12:11:02 AM  
1 vote:

alwaysjaded: SarahDiddle: alwaysjaded: Timely article. I'll have to read it later since I can't seem to pull it up.

I recently was dating this girl for about 3 weeks. Very hot and really nice. On our last date, we were having drinks and near the end of the date, she reveals....

she was in love with me after 4 dates and wants me to help raise said baby.

 

timenewsfeed.files.wordpress.com


/wow, crazy story, bro
//just had a woman yell at me for zoning out after work, dinking around on the 'net and watching sports, instead of talking to her about my day (a day in which nothing of consequence happened)
///why, yes, I am married
2012-11-28 11:58:37 PM  
1 vote:

alwaysjaded: SarahDiddle: alwaysjaded: Timely article. I'll have to read it later since I can't seem to pull it up.

I recently was dating this girl for about 3 weeks. Very hot and really nice. On our last date, we were having drinks and near the end of the date, she reveals....

--she's 28 and been married 4 times, neither one lasting longer than a month
--a cutter
--carries an urn in her purse with her dead dog's ashes
--when she gets to heaven, she will become a fairy
--still farks an ex-husband every 3 days. The one who stole $8000 from her and she's flying to California in 2 weeks to bring on Judge Judy (she showed me the paperwork). Not because she still loves him, I was told. Just because she REALLY wants to have his baby cause the baby would be so beautiful.
--then told me she was in love with me after 4 dates and wants me to help raise said baby.

I've encountered crazy before but never on that level. It was surreal.

/ I swear to FSM that all of this is true.
// I'm sure others will have better encounters

But did you get laid?

No. That was supposed to be the night but it's really hard to get in the mood when you can hear your dick screaming frantically.

The worst part is she is the clerk of the regional dispatcher for the Northwest of my job. I have to tread carefully or else I'll never work again at any jobs near the Pacific Northwest. Really wish I would have followed the rule of dating co-workers.

She hides it really well. I had no idea what I was getting into.


If I may offer two words of advice...

RUN AWAY!!!11!!!!

2012-11-28 11:30:18 PM  
1 vote:

SarahDiddle: alwaysjaded: Timely article. I'll have to read it later since I can't seem to pull it up.

I recently was dating this girl for about 3 weeks. Very hot and really nice. On our last date, we were having drinks and near the end of the date, she reveals....

--she's 28 and been married 4 times, neither one lasting longer than a month
--a cutter
--carries an urn in her purse with her dead dog's ashes
--when she gets to heaven, she will become a fairy
--still farks an ex-husband every 3 days. The one who stole $8000 from her and she's flying to California in 2 weeks to bring on Judge Judy (she showed me the paperwork). Not because she still loves him, I was told. Just because she REALLY wants to have his baby cause the baby would be so beautiful.
--then told me she was in love with me after 4 dates and wants me to help raise said baby.

I've encountered crazy before but never on that level. It was surreal.

/ I swear to FSM that all of this is true.
// I'm sure others will have better encounters

But did you get laid?


No. That was supposed to be the night but it's really hard to get in the mood when you can hear your dick screaming frantically.

The worst part is she is the clerk of the regional dispatcher for the Northwest of my job. I have to tread carefully or else I'll never work again at any jobs near the Pacific Northwest. Really wish I would have followed the rule of dating co-workers.

She hides it really well. I had no idea what I was getting into.
2012-11-28 10:49:57 PM  
1 vote:
Mugato:
...
Don't:
Let her know where you live or work
Leave anything valuable over at her place
Get attached

A trick I've never learned.


No shiat. My penis seems to be an infallible sociopath detector.
2012-11-28 09:30:01 PM  
1 vote:
Because anyone that would willingly sleep with you is a couple sandwiches short of a picnic?
 
- Just a theory.  I am not a licensed shrink but I play one on the interwebby.
 
Oh, and by the way, you have absent daddy issues.
2012-11-28 09:01:51 PM  
1 vote:
Every guy should stick his dick in crazy at least once in his life. It's an important life lesson.

Until you've lived it you just don't understand why people tell you not to do it. It's only in hindsight that can you understand why it was a bad idea.
2012-11-28 08:27:07 PM  
1 vote:
Because they're animals in bed.

It's like nothing any sane person ever did.
 
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