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(Business Insider)   What a stressed out Chinese kid's essay might look like   (businessinsider.com) divider line 17
    More: Sad, Time Passes  
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11659 clicks; posted to Geek » on 28 Nov 2012 at 10:28 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-11-28 10:08:02 PM
10 votes:
What a stressed out wife's letter might look like:

s-ak.buzzfed.com
2012-11-29 04:43:59 AM
5 votes:

pciszek: b2theory: It is something I might have written a couple years a go. Too bad that no one has told this kid that nothing he's learning will be useful to him.

Everyone says this. I use stuff I learned in school on the job all the time. Go figure.


I was an English major. People would ask me what ever I would use it for, but the joke's on them because I speak English all day long.
2012-11-28 11:15:21 PM
4 votes:
needlemeethaystack.com
2012-11-28 05:00:35 PM
4 votes:
Sounds like a DirecTV ad.
2012-11-28 11:55:14 PM
3 votes:
englishwell.info

Don't need a school?

If neegah no go to school, neegah no get a job.
If neegah no get a job, neegah no make no money.
If neegah no make no money, neegah no be able to afford BMW 7 series, neegha!
2012-11-28 05:50:33 PM
3 votes:
i.imgur.com
2012-11-29 10:04:07 AM
2 votes:
content6.flixster.com

"Time passes very quickly. It's midterm season soon, I already began nervously preparing for the test, I must begin working harder, because if I don't work hard and review well, then my grades will not go up, and I will be scolded by my parents, and if I get scolded by my parents then I will lose self-confidence, if I lose self-confidence then I will not finish my studies, if I do not finish my studies then I will not graduate [from university], if I can't graduate from university then I will not find a good job, if I don't find a good job then I won't be able to make money, if I don't make money then I can't pay taxes, if I don't pay taxes then it will be difficult for the country to pay salary to teachers, if teachers can't get paid then they will not be dedicated to teaching, if they are not dedicated to teaching, then this will impact our nation's future, if our nation's future is impacted, then it will be difficult for China to advance and develop, and the Chinese people will degenerate into a barbaric race. If the Chinese people degenerate into a barbaric race, then the USA will begin to suspect that our nation has large-scale murderous weapons, if our nation has large-scale murderous weapons, then the USA will start a war with China and World War III will erupt, if WWIII erupts, both the strengths of both the USA and China will not be enough, if their strengths are not enough then they will use nuclear weapons, if they use nuclear weapons then they will destroy the environment, if the environment is destroyed then this will create a big hole in the atmosphere, if there is a big hole in the atmosphere then global warming will escalate and the glaciers at both poles will melt, if the glaciers melt then the global water level will rise, if the global water level rises then the entire human race will drown and die. Because it relates to the survival and security of the entire human race, therefore I must spend the remaining next few days on review in order to do well on the test, and thus prevent a tragedy from happening.  It is by will alone I set my mind in motion. It is by the juice of sapho that thoughts acquire speed, the lips acquire stains, the stains become a warning. It is by will alone I set my mind in motion."
2012-11-29 01:49:40 AM
2 votes:
No way it's real.

Nice penmanship, though. What a crazy linguistic path those people took.



Wolf892:
I taught English in China for eight years...this paper has the stink of memorized English corner article, the fact that you've heard something similar too makes me extra suspicious...

Any decent jobs teaching English to adults there in Japan?


t2.gstatic.com
2012-11-28 11:23:11 PM
2 votes:
I do coke to get the energy to work harder to make more money to buy more coke to get the energy to work harder to make more money to buy more coke to get the energy to work harder to make more money to buy more coke to get the energy to work harder to make more money to buy more coke to get the energy to work harder to make more money to buy more coke to get the energy to work harder to make more money to buy more coke to get the energy to work harder to make more money to buy more coke ...
2012-11-29 12:03:46 PM
1 votes:

Wolf892: I just want to get back to doing what I do best, banging asian girls. :P


Careful there. Banging asian girls can lead to marrying an asian girl... and that way lies madness.
2012-11-29 09:36:12 AM
1 votes:

HotWingAgenda: I totally believe an actual Chinese student wrote that, just like every other totally real hilarious term paper that has ever been published on internet message boards.


I don't know about the internet, but my Grandfather definitely got some hilarious term papers. He once read one aloud to us on the topic of Johann Sebastion Bach. Not a word was mentioned about his music. The entire paper was about his romances, his marriages, and his prolific number of children. The very last sentence was "He was also a great musician." It was clear which of Bachs' skills that cadet admired most and it wasn't composing music.
2012-11-29 07:17:39 AM
1 votes:
He should have ended with "if I don't get a good job I won't make any money and if I don't make any money I'll never get laid because there are 10 dudes to every chick in China."
2012-11-28 11:25:27 PM
1 votes:

ArmednHammered: "Blaine is a pain and that is the truth..."


Blaine was from Maine. But for about 1,000 votes in New York, Grover Cleveland got his first term instead of Blaine. Oh the pain
2012-11-28 11:13:50 PM
1 votes:
"If the Chinese people degenerate into a barbaric race, then the USA will begin to suspect that our nation has large-scale murderous weapons..."

Uh, we already know you do. Also, we fought your country by proxy in the Korean and Vietnam wars.

/Now make my phone!
2012-11-28 05:22:42 PM
1 votes:
I think China is getting back at us for that Onion article. It sounds like satire.
2012-11-28 05:03:13 PM
1 votes:
That's pretty funny.
2012-11-28 04:55:22 PM
1 votes:
i would say he just has a good sense of humor. that is a rare gift for a chinese kid. i like this one.
 
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