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(Gawker)   Pro-tip: Don't use brass knuckles to kill a spider. (w/ video clip)   (gawker.com) divider line 47
    More: Dumbass, knuckles  
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18017 clicks; posted to Main » on 28 Nov 2012 at 5:00 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Archived thread
2012-11-28 05:42:01 PM
11 votes:
i.imgur.com
2012-11-28 05:26:34 PM
7 votes:
This is the dumbest thing I've seen all day and I've already been to the politics tab twice.
2012-11-28 05:12:28 PM
6 votes:
i286.photobucket.com
2012-11-28 06:13:06 PM
4 votes:

Highroller48: Fark Rye for Many Whores
I Haven't Killed Anybody SInce 1984
Gung Fu
Blatz514
lousyskater
Muad Dib
WalMartian
Fear The Clam

OKay, I SOOO hate all you farkers right now. Spiders can turn me from a 40-year-old man to a 5-year-old girl in about 1 second flat. YUCK!!

Seriously, even the pics in this thread are enough to get the butterflies going.

shudder


0.tqn.com
Your neck looks soft. 
2012-11-28 05:22:54 PM
4 votes:

blatz514: WalMartian: blatz514: Farking spider threads. I was hoping it was going to jump on "bass knucks" face.

/And screw you clock spider.

[encrypted-tbn1.gstatic.com image 200x152]

U mad?

Yep, was waiting for that. Except I was expecting the pic of the big o' spider in the corner with all the baby bastards.


Ask and ye shall receive:

comedybro-z.webs.com
2012-11-28 05:04:33 PM
4 votes:
trap it in a glass jar, and remove 1 leg per day. take notes.
2012-11-28 04:34:09 PM
4 votes:
Brass knuckles?

Spiders that big are why we invented flamethrowers.
2012-11-28 08:41:31 PM
3 votes:
If I found a spider that big in my bathroom, I would simply close the door, seal the gaps with spray foam and duct tape, and proceed to shiat in my backyard.
2012-11-28 06:59:34 PM
3 votes:
I was going to say this guy was a complete moron but then I realized I had just clicked a Gawker link to watch a YouTube video.
2012-11-29 02:51:15 AM
2 votes:
i45.tinypic.com
2012-11-28 06:23:19 PM
2 votes:
Spider thread! Spider thread!
This one stars a fat dunderhead!
Black or brown, big or small-
THERE'S NO NEED TO GO BUST A WALL!
Look out.....Here comes the spider thrrrrrrread!
th857.photobucket.com
scodal.com
2012-11-28 06:20:27 PM
2 votes:

Highroller48: Fark Rye for Many Whores
I Haven't Killed Anybody SInce 1984
Gung Fu
Blatz514
lousyskater
Muad Dib
WalMartian
Fear The Clam

OKay, I SOOO hate all you farkers right now. Spiders can turn me from a 40-year-old man to a 5-year-old girl in about 1 second flat. YUCK!!

Seriously, even the pics in this thread are enough to get the butterflies going.

shudder


But they're so cute!

24.media.tumblr.com
2012-11-28 06:01:15 PM
2 votes:
Fark brass knuckles. 12-gauge plz kthx.

Indoor spiders die. They want to protect my place from the other nasty bugs they can form a perimeter outside at the potential access points and I'll leave them alone. Come through that window, enjoy spider Valhalla, multi-eyed and multi-legged demons.
2012-11-28 05:49:42 PM
2 votes:
24.media.tumblr.com

25.media.tumblr.com

25.media.tumblr.com
2012-11-28 05:29:59 PM
2 votes:
I love how he punched it twice, then took a long pause to reflect on it before coming to the conclusion that he did something stupid.
2012-11-28 05:16:23 PM
2 votes:
Living in mom's basement....what's his Fark handle.
2012-11-28 05:16:16 PM
2 votes:

blatz514: Farking spider threads. I was hoping it was going to jump on "bass knucks" face.

/And screw you clock spider.


encrypted-tbn1.gstatic.com

U mad?
2012-11-28 05:11:28 PM
2 votes:
Who the shiat has those and gun mags lying around on the floor. Is he prez of the fark.com ITG squad.
2012-11-28 05:05:23 PM
2 votes:
MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMM!!!
2012-11-28 05:05:15 PM
2 votes:
Obligatory for spider threads:

25.media.tumblr.com
2012-11-28 10:31:00 PM
1 votes:
************EMERGENCY SPIDER SYSTEM (ESS) ACTIVATED************

A SEVERE HORRIFYING SPIDER WARNING HAS BEEN ISSUED FOR FARK THREAD on november 27, 2012.

THIS WARNING CONFIRMS THE SIGHTING OF ARACHNIDS THAT WILL BE SURE TO EITHER KILL YOU IN YOUR SLEEP OR INVADE YOUR DREAMS AND CAUSE VOMITING, HEART ATTACKS, STROKE, AND/OR SOILED PANTS.

REMAIN CALM. SEEK SHELTER IMMEDIATELY AND/OR FIND WEAPONS THAT CAN TERMINATE HORRIFYING SPIDERS. APPROVED WEAPONS INCLUDE FLAMETHROWERS, NAPALM, COLLEGE ORGANIC CHEMISTRY TEXTBOOKS, OR NUCLEAR MISSILES. FIND THE NEAREST WEAPON, AND REPEATEDLY SMASH THE SPIDER UNTIL IT IS COMPLETELY FLATTENED AND HAS STOPPED MOVING/TWITCHING. IF YOU CANNOT PERFORM THIS TASK, FIND THE NEAREST NON-PUSSY TO DO IT FOR YOU.

ONCE THE SPIDER IS DESTROYED, USE NUCLEAR MISSILES AND/OR GASOLINE WITH A MATCH TO BURN THE BODY, TO MAKE SURE THE SPIDER IS DOWN FOR GOOD. REMOVE THE ASHES WITH A VACUUM CLEANER, AND MAKE SURE YOU CAUTERIZE THE VACUUM CLEANER JUST TO BE ON THE SAFE SIDE.

THIS CONCLUDES THE ESS EMERGENCY BROADCAST

******END TRANSMISSION*********
2012-11-28 08:52:43 PM
1 votes:
i.imgur.com 
2012-11-28 08:34:44 PM
1 votes:

crabsno termites: This is what you get from unprotected sex.


What? Are we supposed to go around passing out condoms to all the spiders we meet? I don't know what life is like in your exclusive, gated community, but in real America, spider condoms are expensive and not everybody can afford them in the quantities necessary to control the spider population.
2012-11-28 07:30:44 PM
1 votes:

Galileo's Daughter: toraque: Brass knuckles?

Spiders that big are why we invented flamethrowers.

Yeah, this.


And this again. Any spider you can see from down the hall justifies use of a freaking grenade launcher if you've got it.
2012-11-28 07:19:51 PM
1 votes:
I have an understanding with the spiders in my house. If they stay on the outside walls, window sills, french door slides etc thay have nothing to fear from me. However, if I see them making inroads to an interior wall or scooting across the floor the jig is usually up. There is one that lives in a corner of my basement bathroom, think it's been there long enough to pay the mortgage on his web. Obviously they all understand that if the wiff or kids spot them in the open I'll get the call and have to make a show of force.
2012-11-28 07:16:24 PM
1 votes:

Jon iz teh kewl: imagine how many you could fit in your stomach


Depends on the size of the spider

tf2chan.net

/Om-nom-nom
2012-11-28 06:50:20 PM
1 votes:
I love thee ImageKill. Greatest of all Chrome extensions.
2012-11-28 06:22:43 PM
1 votes:
Don't use a shoe, only commies use a shoe:
imageshack.us
2012-11-28 06:11:09 PM
1 votes:

justanotherfarkinfarker: Who the shiat has those and gun mags lying around on the floor. Is he prez of the fark.com ITG squad.


They were strategically placed there so the camera would just happen to catch them. It's his way of saying, "BEHOLD MY MICROSCOPIC PENIS!"
2012-11-28 05:58:48 PM
1 votes:
2012-11-28 05:57:54 PM
1 votes:
1.media.collegehumor.cvcdn.com
Spider vs brass knuckles? Really?
2012-11-28 05:48:22 PM
1 votes:
That spider is what very large books are for.
2012-11-28 05:38:00 PM
1 votes:
3.bp.blogspot.com 

ARRGGHHH!!

Imagine how many could fit inside your earholes and nostrils? As you sleep. In the middle of the night? Tonight?
2012-11-28 05:36:17 PM
1 votes:
I hate spiders they freak me out worse than snakes. One day I'm standing in my garage when this huge spider marches in and stops about 5 feet away on the concrete floor. Hundreds of baby spiders start jumping off her back and spreading out on the floor in all directions. I figure my house is going to be infested if I don't do something. So I grabbed my MAPP gas torch with a trigger starter and burned them all into coal dust.
2012-11-28 05:33:06 PM
1 votes:
I don't see the problem. I assume a guy so manly that he subscribes to Handgunner and MotorTrend, have 'brass nucks' stowed away and a picture of a land navigation compass as his wallpaper can easily repair dry wall.
2012-11-28 05:29:07 PM
1 votes:

GCD: WTF did he think would happen when he punched drywall with brass knuckles on?

You can bust drywall easily enough with your own first, no brass required.

This guy is either a gigantic moron or we've all be trolled.



I'm hoping ironic setup - for his sake. Otherwise the ITG gun mags and shiatbeard spell early prison life.
2012-11-28 05:27:17 PM
1 votes:

blatz514: crzybtch: I will never understand people who kill spiders. Anything that eats flies and mosquitos is a friend of mine! I always put them a glass over them and slide a piece of paper between them and the wall and take them outside. At one point I took some nice big spiders out to my garden for release and now every night there are webs all over the place. (Well before it got cold anyway) Better than inseciticide any day.

You go ahead and keep catching them Brown Recluses. Thankfully I'm too far north for those bastards.

*clicks profile.

Never mind.


I have a nice scar on my hand from a Brown Recluse. The ER had to cut out the necrotic flesh.

/in northern Ohio
2012-11-28 05:26:29 PM
1 votes:

browntimmy: I get about 10 times as many spiders in my house than I do flies, mosquitos, or any other type of bug


No, you only SEE the spiders. They kill all the rest of the bugs. Say thank you.
2012-11-28 05:25:40 PM
1 votes:
I'll tell you why I wouldn't use brass knuckles to kill a spider: it would require my body coming waaaaay too close to it.

Bathroom? I'm thinking hairspray + match.
2012-11-28 05:24:47 PM
1 votes:
toraque: Brass knuckles?

Spiders that big are why we invented flamethrowers Nukes.

FTFY
2012-11-28 05:19:05 PM
1 votes:

KrispyKritter: Bugstik - you stay away from Kritter, pull handle Kritter gets caught in bunched up netting. Take outside, smack handle, netting unfurls, Kritter takes off unharmed. i've given many of these as gifts, people love them. love i tell you, love them.

[ecx.images-amazon.com image 222x212]


hotlink


I kept thinking you were talking in the third person, was really confused there for a moment.... also fevered, so.
2012-11-28 05:17:40 PM
1 votes:
I knew where this was going when I saw the Motor Trend and Handgun magazines on the floor next to the Xbox in the basement.
It cemented my opinion of his intelligence when he said "Brass Knucks"
2012-11-28 05:17:17 PM
1 votes:
"In other news, no, I don't have a date this Saturday. Can't imagine why. Maybe Mom will know."
HBK
2012-11-28 05:10:57 PM
1 votes:
It's funny how he nonchalantly panned over his pistol, which was just laying on the floor.
2012-11-28 05:08:17 PM
1 votes:
Looks like he got caught in his own web of 'sticky situations'.
GCD
2012-11-28 05:06:42 PM
1 votes:
WTF did he think would happen when he punched drywall with brass knuckles on?

You can bust drywall easily enough with your own first, no brass required.

This guy is either a gigantic moron or we've all be trolled.
2012-11-28 05:03:51 PM
1 votes:
He'd better arm himself with spackle and a trowel next.
 
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