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(Gawker)   Pro-tip: Don't use brass knuckles to kill a spider. (w/ video clip)   (gawker.com) divider line 178
    More: Dumbass, knuckles  
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18012 clicks; posted to Main » on 28 Nov 2012 at 5:00 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-11-28 06:42:38 PM

WorthNoting: ///been running a high fever for days


Dude, same here. wft?
 
2012-11-28 06:42:59 PM
I'd be curious to know how much water and toilet paper I have wasted used in the most noble way possible flushing spiders away from my home.

I've crushed many but those legs never stop moving. Spider zombies. No, they can't be stopped - only moved away. Using nearly a full roll of TP to form a barrier, they're picked up, dropped into the toilet and promptly flushed... and then, after the tank has refilled and settled down, it's flushed again in hopes that the spider will be too far removed and get lost during it's swim back.

Creepy little perverts- always watching me in the bathroom they are.
 
2012-11-28 06:46:24 PM
I remember when I moved into this dumpy apartment in an old prewar building on Staten Island.

For some reason it had an old dumbwaiter in the kitchen wall.

One day I heard some noises coming from it so I shoved the fridge from the wall & pried open the small door which had several coats of paint on it.

About 30 cockroaches fell out.

The interior walls of the brick & masonry shaft were like a swarming, moving black mass.

I knew right away what to do...

I slammed the door, ran to the bathroom, grabbed a can of Lysol and a lighter and returned.

About every night for several weeks I always looked forward to my after work Apocalypse, and eventually the word on Avenida Cucaracha got out to avoid the 5th floor because the mob never regained original strength.

Sweet memories of watching them ignite, and peel off the walls in division strength and fall into the black abyss below

/I started reading Lovecraft in 1967 so I really got into it.
 
2012-11-28 06:47:15 PM
Got a spider bite on my face. Either Brown Recluse or a Hobo spider.

Took about 6 years to stop hurting. Still have nerve damage from it
 
2012-11-28 06:47:54 PM
Human creativity is amazing. Since it's shocking to so many urban Americans to even consider killing an animal, spiders are stupidly considered bugs and bugs ain't animals. Also fish are not animals. You know, for the vegs.
 
2012-11-28 06:48:26 PM
And I'd rather deal with spiders than with mice. Disease spreading, turd laying, eating your food and scooting all over the place and making squeaky noises mice. I would burn down a whole building to get rid of one mouse. I have a drop ceiling, and a few months ago what must have been a baby mouse was running all over above me and squeaking non stop. My landlord took care of the problem, though he was kind of slow about it.
 
2012-11-28 06:48:30 PM
That said, wasps are animals, yes they are: the pets of Satan.
 
2012-11-28 06:50:20 PM
I love thee ImageKill. Greatest of all Chrome extensions.
 
2012-11-28 06:52:50 PM

blatz514: catch this


NONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONO*drool**pass out*
 
2012-11-28 06:54:03 PM
Three strikes:

1. The video is boring. I had to skip ahead several times.
2. He's a wimp for being afraid of spiders that are not venomous.
3. "Mom?" Dude, what are you, like 30?
 
2012-11-28 06:57:50 PM

skinink: And I'd rather deal with spiders than with mice. Disease spreading, turd laying, eating your food and scooting all over the place and making squeaky noises mice. I would burn down a whole building to get rid of one mouse. I have a drop ceiling, and a few months ago what must have been a baby mouse was running all over above me and squeaking non stop. My landlord took care of the problem, though he was kind of slow about it.


It's coming Winter and we're getting mice. Fortunately, our two young cats are proving to be awesome mousers. I always know when one has caught a mouse because she'll start growling whenever her sister comes near
 
2012-11-28 06:58:15 PM

Highroller48: Fark Rye for Many Whores
I Haven't Killed Anybody SInce 1984
Gung Fu
Blatz514
lousyskater
Muad Dib
WalMartian
Fear The Clam

OKay, I SOOO hate all you farkers right now. Spiders can turn me from a 40-year-old man to a 5-year-old girl in about 1 second flat. YUCK!!

Seriously, even the pics in this thread are enough to get the butterflies going.

shudder




Here's one from a spider thread 4 years ago Toraque shared your fears


i478.photobucket.com


Guess I can change it to Highroller48 now...
 
2012-11-28 06:59:34 PM
i recall a time when the neck-beard was sported by gentle-giants and only g2s
now, every other plus-sized thought-wrestler has one
 
2012-11-28 06:59:34 PM
I was going to say this guy was a complete moron but then I realized I had just clicked a Gawker link to watch a YouTube video.
 
2012-11-28 07:00:11 PM
Spider season in Seattle is horrid. Big garden spiders will turn bushes and eves into a high-wire circus. I knew someone who rented, and the tall bushes and plants leading to their front door had at least seven big spiders strung up around the path.
 
2012-11-28 07:01:12 PM

trappedspirit: God-is-a-Taco: GCD:
This guy is either a gigantic moron or we've all be trolled.

Jesus Christ. Stop using "trolled" and "troll" to mean every single thought or action.



Are you trolling me?


You dawg. I heard you hate trolled or troll so I got you some trolled or troll for your trolled or troll comment.
 
2012-11-28 07:05:54 PM

GungFu: [3.bp.blogspot.com image 600x385] 

ARRGGHHH!!

Imagine how many could fit inside your earholes and nostrils? As you sleep. In the middle of the night? Tonight?


imagine how many you could fit in your stomach

mmm spider stew
 
2012-11-28 07:08:04 PM

Wayne 985: Three strikes:

1. The video is boring. I had to skip ahead several times.
2. He's a wimp for being afraid of spiders that are not venomous.
3. "Mom?" Dude, what are you, like 30?


really? Do you have an attention span of 7 seconds or something?
 
2012-11-28 07:10:08 PM

Mr.Hawk: Highroller48: Fark Rye for Many Whores
I Haven't Killed Anybody SInce 1984
Gung Fu
Blatz514
lousyskater
Muad Dib
WalMartian
Fear The Clam

OKay, I SOOO hate all you farkers right now. Spiders can turn me from a 40-year-old man to a 5-year-old girl in about 1 second flat. YUCK!!

Seriously, even the pics in this thread are enough to get the butterflies going.

shudder



Here's one from a spider thread 4 years ago Toraque shared your fears


i478.photobucket.com


Guess I can change it to Highroller48 now...


AHHHHH IT'S BACK
 
2012-11-28 07:11:14 PM

Wayne 985: Three strikes:

1. The video is boring. I had to skip ahead several times.
2. He's a wimp for being afraid of spiders that are not venomous.
3. "Mom?" Dude, what are you, like 30?


You'd be living with your mom too, if she let you have the big bedroom.
 
2012-11-28 07:13:02 PM
The /k/ommando is strong in this one. Poor spider bro, stuck in some morons bathroom.
 
2012-11-28 07:15:10 PM
A) The kid is one of those guys that to the casual and naive viewer, looks older than he really is. He's probably 18 - 20 at best.
B) It's not unusual for kids of ANY ages to live with their parents these days. You know that economy thing? The one that sucks? Yeah, it's just another consequence of such.
C) How do we know that this guy isn't / wasn't home on vacation or fall break?
D) Regardless of all that, he was stupid to punch the wall like that. But it's yet more proof that I'm absolutely correct on point A.
 
2012-11-28 07:15:53 PM
cdn.bleacherreport.net
approves
 
2012-11-28 07:16:24 PM

Jon iz teh kewl: imagine how many you could fit in your stomach


Depends on the size of the spider

tf2chan.net

/Om-nom-nom
 
2012-11-28 07:19:00 PM
I would leave spiders alone in my house if they didn't crap everywhere on my white baseboards. Also, I have recessed lights in my living room with some right above my couch. A couple times a year, a small spider likes to rappel down right in front of my face when I'm watching TV. Good times!
 
2012-11-28 07:19:51 PM
I have an understanding with the spiders in my house. If they stay on the outside walls, window sills, french door slides etc thay have nothing to fear from me. However, if I see them making inroads to an interior wall or scooting across the floor the jig is usually up. There is one that lives in a corner of my basement bathroom, think it's been there long enough to pay the mortgage on his web. Obviously they all understand that if the wiff or kids spot them in the open I'll get the call and have to make a show of force.
 
2012-11-28 07:23:04 PM
"Mom ... MOM!"

Yeah, that.

/ ahahahahahaha, "Mom!"
 
2012-11-28 07:25:58 PM

browntimmy: I get about 10 times as many spiders in my house than I do flies, mosquitos, or any other type of bug. And all they do is hang out and look ugly, they're intruders and they must die.


I hate to inject something that might disturb your restful sleep, but if you have lots of spiders, it's almost certainly because you have lots of other bugs, only they prefer the dark. Spiders eat bugs. No bugs and you quickly run out of spiders.
 
2012-11-28 07:30:44 PM

Galileo's Daughter: toraque: Brass knuckles?

Spiders that big are why we invented flamethrowers.

Yeah, this.


And this again. Any spider you can see from down the hall justifies use of a freaking grenade launcher if you've got it.
 
2012-11-28 07:37:55 PM

HoratioGates: browntimmy: I get about 10 times as many spiders in my house than I do flies, mosquitos, or any other type of bug. And all they do is hang out and look ugly, they're intruders and they must die.

I hate to inject something that might disturb your restful sleep, but if you have lots of spiders, it's almost certainly because you have lots of other bugs, only they prefer the dark. Spiders eat bugs. No bugs and you quickly run out of spiders.


That's why the common approach when I lived in AZ was to keep the perimeter of the house sprayed: keeps out the scorpions. No food source, no predator.

Fun fact on scorp's, you can't flamethrower them. I mean you can, but they live long enough after the blast to scurry away into places like one's attic. That generally doesn't end well for the homeowner.
 
2012-11-28 07:40:59 PM
Brass knuckls don't work. A couple of years back I got. Myself in a "situation" with some tough guy. He tried afew tricks, I let him have his fun then I took them off him and said 'OK now we fight fair'. He just ran off, total punk. If you can't use them they are not any help at all. If I was going to get involved in a street fight now the only dirty tricks I would use are glass bottle: slash neck & face or rock/stone in sock. You can take a few guys out of the game with one of them ;)
 
2012-11-28 08:08:28 PM

There is an exception to every rule.

WARNING: THIS PICTURE IS NOT LIFE SIZE.
 
2012-11-28 08:11:40 PM

satanorsanta: blatz514: crzybtch: I will never understand people who kill spiders. Anything that eats flies and mosquitos is a friend of mine! I always put them a glass over them and slide a piece of paper between them and the wall and take them outside. At one point I took some nice big spiders out to my garden for release and now every night there are webs all over the place. (Well before it got cold anyway) Better than inseciticide any day.

You go ahead and keep catching them Brown Recluses. Thankfully I'm too far north for those bastards.

*clicks profile.

Never mind.

I have a nice scar on my hand from a Brown Recluse. The ER had to cut out the necrotic flesh.

/in northern Ohio


Gotcha beat! One summer while "camping" on the carnival route I got bit TWICE by those/that bastard. One on my left shoulder and another on my right hip. It's HARD to sit upright in a wheelchair with a painful boil on yer hip, lemme tell ya!

Took THREE separate trips to ER to get them fixed up.

/Oakland, CA I HATE you!
//and agree with the catch and release crowd, no nasty bugs here!
///slashies!
 
2012-11-28 08:12:15 PM
But the spider is dead, right?

I keep to electronic bug zappers and a hiking shoe around just in case one shows up here. I get several a year, what with being in a basement suite.

also, you're a grown man, don't call for your mom like that. Go up and talk to her like an adult.
 
2012-11-28 08:13:28 PM
My brother hit the wall and put a hole in it. Of course, when my cousin did it a couple of weeks later, my brother was blamed by my aunt for the second hole as well. Imitable act, I guess.

It's a stupid thing to do.

He could have hit a stud.

But fortunately I wasn't there.

(Badaboom! Badabing!)
 
2012-11-28 08:14:10 PM

Indypendy: They probably don't have to do much squeezing to get into yours. Like a toddler in Carlsbad Caverns.

/joke?


Yeah, but not as funny as all the spiders that will be dancing on your eyelids and in all your orifices when you go to bed.
 
2012-11-28 08:19:46 PM
Senator Vreenak?
 
2012-11-28 08:23:31 PM
25.media.tumblr.com
 
2012-11-28 08:29:45 PM

CapeFearCadaver: KrispyKritter: Bugstik - you stay away from Kritter, pull handle Kritter gets caught in bunched up netting. Take outside, smack handle, netting unfurls, Kritter takes off unharmed. i've given many of these as gifts, people love them. love i tell you, love them.

[ecx.images-amazon.com image 222x212]


hotlink

I kept thinking you were talking in the third person, was really confused there for a moment.... also fevered, so.


LOL! My bad, sorry on that.

forteblast: Nice idea in theory, but when my girlfriend sends me after a spider she wants me to kill the motherfarker.

aww! if my wife isn't watching i'll pop the lil bugger back into the basement where it can enjoy happy hunting.

uncleacid: Every room was painted white, spiders don't stand a chance.


right? some people fear color. horrible way to go through life, surrounded by eggshell walls and framed prints from Bed Bath and Beyond. ugh.
 
2012-11-28 08:30:24 PM
This is what you get from unprotected sex.
 
2012-11-28 08:34:44 PM

crabsno termites: This is what you get from unprotected sex.


What? Are we supposed to go around passing out condoms to all the spiders we meet? I don't know what life is like in your exclusive, gated community, but in real America, spider condoms are expensive and not everybody can afford them in the quantities necessary to control the spider population.
 
2012-11-28 08:36:35 PM

justanotherfarkinfarker: Who the shiat has those and gun mags lying around on the floor. Is he prez of the fark.com ITG squad.


what kind of person? the kind of grown man who still lives in his moms basement.
whether its chicken or egg i know not, but damned if the ones i have run into weren't pretty much -all- more than just a bit ITG.
 
2012-11-28 08:37:15 PM
Umm, yeah. Like snakes they may eat intrusive things but they're still annoying in themselves because they can bite you as well. Even if they have no venom it hurts like hell for a long time. If they could stay outside everything would be ok.
 
2012-11-28 08:41:31 PM
If I found a spider that big in my bathroom, I would simply close the door, seal the gaps with spray foam and duct tape, and proceed to shiat in my backyard.
 
2012-11-28 08:52:43 PM
i.imgur.com 
 
2012-11-28 08:58:00 PM
Pet spiders can be a lot of fun. Had a rose tarantula when I was in 3rd grade. Mostly fed it crickets and grasshoppers, with the occasional lizard. Took it to show and tell several times. Some kids freaked the fark out. It was awesome.

Also, bit a of an escape artist.

/csb
 
2012-11-28 09:06:18 PM
i849.photobucket.com
 
2012-11-28 09:15:59 PM
No dog is safe.

thechive.files.wordpress.com
 
2012-11-28 09:19:26 PM
ic.pics.livejournal.com

This is why car sales are up....
 
2012-11-28 09:28:26 PM
I moved from TX to Seattle a few years ago and I thought I left the spiders back there. So imagine my surprise when I found this scurrying along the kitchen floor...

bugguide.net

I didn't think to get pics at the time, but the "giant house spider" that I found was longer than a dollar bill. I put it outside and it tried run back inside. These things fast!
 
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