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(Natural News)   Truths bad parents will never tell you. Not listed: Mommy drinks because you cry   (naturalnews.com) divider line 46
    More: Interesting, truth  
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20547 clicks; posted to Main » on 28 Nov 2012 at 3:32 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Archived thread
2012-11-28 03:21:45 PM  
7 votes:
I think if you click on all the ads on that site at once Dr. John Harvey Kellogg springs from your computer screen and gives you an enema with an unpeeled pineapple while connecting your nipples to a malfunctioning Jacob's Ladder all in the name of treating your Brain Fevers.
2012-11-28 06:17:35 PM  
4 votes:
If you can't be a good example for your kids, at least try to be a horrible warning.
2012-11-28 04:10:01 PM  
4 votes:

The One True TheDavid: What's the difference between loving your parents and Stockholm Syndrome? (No, that's not a rhetorical question.)


One is a form of trauma bonding involving dominant and submissive parties through which the submissive party identifies with the dominant party as a survival and dissonance minimizing mechanism to resolve a negative and inescapable situation.

The other involves a Swedish bank robbery.
2012-11-28 04:29:25 PM  
3 votes:

Gabrielmot: Weak article is weak... here's what *real* bad parents say...

Mom: You should thank me because your father wanted to abort you.
Dad: That's not true! It was your mom who wanted to abort you.

/beat that Fark, I have the worst parents in the world... prove me wrong.


I made my 7-year-old daughter eat broccoli AND cauliflower in the same day.
2012-11-28 04:14:58 PM  
3 votes:
I'm the reason my parents told me to never buy off-brand condoms, so I've got that going for me.
2012-11-28 03:57:40 PM  
3 votes:
Well, this thread certainly seems well adjusted.

*backs out slowly*
2012-11-28 03:54:43 PM  
3 votes:

Poo_Fight: "Men are pigs." I guess that makes women pigfarkers?


You better be careful who you call a child, Lois. Because if I'm a child, then you know what that makes you? A pedophile.
2012-11-28 03:48:52 PM  
3 votes:

Nana's Vibrator: Gabrielmot: Weak article is weak... here's what *real* bad parents say...

Mom: You should thank me because your father wanted to abort you.
Dad: That's not true! It was your mom who wanted to abort you.

/beat that Fark, I have the worst parents in the world... prove me wrong.

Not many aborted fetuses posting on Fark these days...


I was wondering what happened to GrablesDaughter...
2012-11-28 03:39:43 PM  
3 votes:
That's some Sleepaway Camp-level shiat.
2012-11-28 03:11:17 PM  
3 votes:

Lucky LaRue: I remember a time when you could mentally scar as many of your children as you wanted, and they worked out their resulting issues with alcohol, drugs, and support groups.

Damned internet and blogs ruined everything.


Better to work your daddy issues out on Tumblr than on the pole, I guess.
2012-11-28 02:51:19 PM  
3 votes:
I remember a time when you could mentally scar as many of your children as you wanted, and they worked out their resulting issues with alcohol, drugs, and support groups.

Damned internet and blogs ruined everything.
2012-11-28 03:52:26 PM  
2 votes:

Nana's Vibrator: Mom: You should thank me because your father wanted to abort you.
Dad: That's not true! It was your mom who wanted to abort you.

/beat that Fark, I have the worst parents in the world... prove me wrong.

Not many aborted fetuses posting on Fark these days...


Yeah, fark atheists will love this one... the reason I think I wasn't aborted was the two of them were too chickenshiat to do it because they thought they'd go to hell...

God saved me... literally.
2012-11-28 03:51:30 PM  
2 votes:
Oh, I think we can add to this list:

> "I like drugs more than I like children. Now, if your mother had given birth to a seven pound bag of meth I'd have been Father of the Year. I blame her."

> "I just didn't feel like Jerry Sandusky should be able to have all of the fun".

> "Look, I had a lot of women. It costs more to buy formula for your ass than it did for me to buy a lady a Cognac. I had to make some tough decisions. Hell, you should be apologizing to ME for all of that cock-blocking you did."
2012-11-28 03:50:56 PM  
2 votes:

Grapple: cgraves67: My hobbies are a higher priority than your life.

Actually, my wife could say this one. And it's killing me. She leaves the house for 6 hours for a ride on her motorcycle say, twice a week.., I stay home with my son. Suddenly, I'm not paying enough attention to her and we should consider ourselves "separated". Really?


"Going for a 6 hour ride on the motorcycle", little do you know the hot new guy in accounting is named Harley...
2012-11-28 03:50:48 PM  
2 votes:
"Men are pigs." I guess that makes women pigfarkers?
2012-11-28 03:49:01 PM  
2 votes:

JerseyTim: Earpj: Wow.
That is a wacky website.

Seriously. Here's is what else they have to offer: Global government now seeks total control over the internet.


And any site that links to folks selling colloidal silver is legit in my book.
2012-11-28 03:44:25 PM  
2 votes:

cgraves67: They forgot:

My hobbies are a higher priority than your life.

I can't be sure that you're my offspring because your mom is a whore, so I'm going to make you the object of my resentment because I don't know who your mom was banging.

I hate that you are not Me v2.0. Why can't you be more like me.

I hate you because you're gay.


Come on, let it all out. You're doing good.
2012-11-28 03:43:16 PM  
2 votes:
It's a good thing bad parents spend a lot of time looking at natural foods websites for parenting tips. This article will obviously have a major effect.
2012-11-29 01:25:38 AM  
1 votes:
I feel so well-adjusted now. Thanks!
Someone told my father he had two fine sons. He said, "They were raised by wolves."
2012-11-28 10:10:10 PM  
1 votes:
js34603:

There are a lot of farked up people in this thread.

Thanks! I aim to please!
2012-11-28 08:47:50 PM  
1 votes:
Most of you seem pretty weak. Not just physically weak, but mentally weak. Quit living in the past and blubbering about your parents. Buck up and be a man (or, since this is Fark, a MtW freak.)
2012-11-28 08:17:49 PM  
1 votes:
My mom used to make whole wheat pancakes with wheat germ and sunflower seeds. It was awful.
2012-11-28 07:00:33 PM  
1 votes:

schubie: I was nearly in tears today b/c the awesome parents day out at the non-wacky Episcopalian church is closing due to lack of interest. I was sad b/c it was a safe place to stow my kid and he loved it. Also goddamn, do you know any 18 months olds? They can be relentlessly annoying. I felt like a bad parent but then I read this article.

/Thanks this article.


Yeah father of a 21 month old here.. I understand, but can be partially avoided. My daughter was actually quite nice to be around until she started going to pre-school. She has learned some very bad manners from those other kids.

On another note, more on topic, I know a woman whose childhood story would make most people go DAAAAAAAAAAAAAmn. Her mom was a teacher, and a drug addict, as she slid into uselessness she couldn't afford the drugs, so she pimped out her daughter to pedophiles to make money. When her daughter was a preschooler. Then when her daughter was in her teens, she had to take care of her drug addled mother.. man the stories she will tell sometimes. the whole mom sewing her parts back together after she was raped by the man her mom was selling her to.. by her mom, because can't get medical treatment for that.
2012-11-28 05:45:27 PM  
1 votes:

Spade:

Wife's not breast feeding either.


Cause them titties is all yours, amirite!?
2012-11-28 05:31:49 PM  
1 votes:

NASAM: Spade: My love life was more important than you.

Yup. Wife and I already had this conversation. Our kids will never be more important than us.
.

You are going to be a shiatty parent.


They're getting shipped off to boarding school as early as possible anyway, so no worries.

Worked for Churchill
2012-11-28 05:14:51 PM  
1 votes:
Surprised this isn't here yet:

images9.fotki.com
2012-11-28 04:56:46 PM  
1 votes:
maybe

i48.tinypic.com
2012-11-28 04:45:40 PM  
1 votes:
I had some snark, but this thread sucked it all out. Hell, think about it, you all are on Fark now, the Miller High Life of the internet!
2012-11-28 04:34:14 PM  
1 votes:

Gabrielmot: Weak article is weak... here's what *real* bad parents say...

Mom: You should thank me because your father wanted to abort you.
Dad: That's not true! It was your mom who wanted to abort you.

/beat that Fark, I have the worst parents in the world... prove me wrong.


Pfft. All of the actually-aborted children are giving you The Finger right now, from Hell.
2012-11-28 04:10:13 PM  
1 votes:

The One True TheDavid: cryinoutloud:Bad parents don't know they're bad parents. That's why they don't do it better.
Don't you think they can compare themselves and their kids to other families? I know I'll never write as well as Henry James. Or are they like my parents? My dad did the best he could with the little he had...


Some of them can, and they get better, and their kids do better. But some of them are pretty ignorant, and they just figure that anyone who raises their kids differently than they do is stupid--without realizing that they're the party that's stupid.

Look how much arguing there is about parenting among people whose kids will probably all turn out OK, regardless of how much people disagree about it. And nobody really knows the "right" way anyhow, so if you learned a shiatty way to raise your kids and you're fine with it (after all, that's how you were raised!), then you won't know any different until it's too late to fix it. And it's also a fact that some very shiatty parents have children that turn out all right, and vice-versa. So if you're trying to tell someone the "right" way to raise kids, you're on pretty shaky ground, no matter WTF is going on in that house.

Smelly Pirate Hooker: cryinoutloud: Bad parents don't know care that they're bad parents. That's why they don't do it better.
Fixed that for you. They know. They just don't care.


no, a lot of them really don't know. They think they're fine parents. But their parents were shiatty parents, and their parents before them, and well, how is anyone supposed to learn how to be a good parent if they aren't that smart and never had a good role model?

This isn't rocket science. Except on Fark, apparently, where everyone is supposed to have bootstraps that not only bail them out of poverty, but teach them every single social skill in the world.
2012-11-28 04:06:09 PM  
1 votes:

Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: Grapple: cgraves67: My hobbies are a higher priority than your life.

Actually, my wife could say this one. And it's killing me. She leaves the house for 6 hours for a ride on her motorcycle say, twice a week.., I stay home with my son. Suddenly, I'm not paying enough attention to her and we should consider ourselves "separated". Really?

"Going for a 6 hour ride on the motorcycle", little do you know the hot new guy in accounting is named Harley...


Oh Zing!
The full moon is bringing out the kindness on Fark today.


trivial use of my dark powers: "I got pregnant to trap your father and found out it wasn't worth the effort."


See also, "In my day birth control wasn't available. If it were my life would have been much different.
2012-11-28 04:00:31 PM  
1 votes:
www.naturalnews.com
2012-11-28 03:59:04 PM  
1 votes:

Earpj: JerseyTim:

Seriously. Here's is what else they have to offer: Global government now seeks total control over the internet.

I was really enjoying the one about medical terrorism in Michigan.

That's some weapons grade derp right there.


Ahh it can't be that bad...

"Yes, these pediatric oncologists are some of the most evil, unethical, and downright criminal minds you will find in the medical system today. Far from helping children, they are engaged in mass poisoning crimes that rival the gassing of Jews in Nazi Germany."

...jesus christ...
2012-11-28 03:57:41 PM  
1 votes:
Fark Rye For Many Whores:
State-sponsored medical terrorism: Texas authorities arrest parents, kidnap their teenage daughter, and force her through chemotherapy against her will

Chemotherapy? Those monsters. I'm sure wheatgrass smoothies and a good cleanse would have taken care of those naughty little neoplastic cells and set everything right, without using chemicals.

Grapple:
She leaves the house for 6 hours for a ride on her motorcycle say, twice a week.., I stay home with my son. Suddenly, I'm not paying enough attention to her and we should consider ourselves "separated". Really?

Hide a GPS on the bike, then take the fact that it's parked in the lot at the motel for 10 hours a week straight to court. Lawyer up, delete Facebook and hit the gym.
2012-11-28 03:54:34 PM  
1 votes:
"I got pregnant to trap your father and found out it wasn't worth the effort."
2012-11-28 03:52:28 PM  
1 votes:
I didn't need to tell you what the rules of the house were. There was only one rule: Don't piss me off!

Dad?

/fine, I'll get ya another beer
2012-11-28 03:50:53 PM  
1 votes:
I abused you because it will make you more accepting, and possibly more susceptible to abusive relationships in the future. That priest was able to touch you because I broke down those barriers! Give a little credit where credit is due!
2012-11-28 03:49:58 PM  
1 votes:

Grapple: cgraves67: My hobbies are a higher priority than your life.

Actually, my wife could say this one. And it's killing me. She leaves the house for 6 hours for a ride on her motorcycle say, twice a week.., I stay home with my son. Suddenly, I'm not paying enough attention to her and we should consider ourselves "separated". Really?


Sounds like she's riding more than a motorcycle to me.
2012-11-28 03:46:38 PM  
1 votes:
"Mommy doesn't love me any more, that's why I love you more".....

1.bp.blogspot.com

/few bites.
2012-11-28 03:45:34 PM  
1 votes:
"I just wanted a blowjob"

"Your mother said she was on birth control"

"Planned Parenthood was closed that day"
2012-11-28 03:45:08 PM  
1 votes:
How about we studied developmental psychology as intently as our faculties allowed and inverted the lessons and applied them to you systematically and collusively because we are sadists and ontologically inferior.

// not bitter, really
//Happy Holidays
2012-11-28 03:41:57 PM  
1 votes:
Should have pulled out and shot the load on your mom's chest seems to have missed the list
2012-11-28 03:40:25 PM  
1 votes:
I could get past the picture of the lady at the top of the website who looks like she threw up into her hands and wants to show us, but I couldn't get past the first sentence of the article.
2012-11-28 03:38:53 PM  
1 votes:
images.somethingawful.com
2012-11-28 03:38:45 PM  
1 votes:

JerseyTim: Earpj: Wow.
That is a wacky website.

Seriously. Here's is what else they have to offer: Global government now seeks total control over the internet.


You're picking on the wrong stuff:
• The government's demonic strategy against parents of autistic children

• U.S. Supreme Court denies parents of vaccine damaged children their right to seek justice

• State-sponsored medical terrorism: Texas authorities arrest parents, kidnap their teenage daughter, and force her through chemotherapy against her will

• Medical terrorism in Michigan? Parents forced by the state to poison their child with cancer-causing chemicals
2012-11-28 03:29:22 PM  
1 votes:
little suzy cried because mommy drinks. it's a vicious cycle.
 
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