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(Washington Post)   Two dudes made whiskey sours, built a raft, and tried to sail down a raging river during Superstorm Sandy because they very badly need to pick up some goodies at Walmart   (washingtonpost.com) divider line 74
    More: Asinine, Wal-Mart, Maryland State Police, fire and rescue, life vests  
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10482 clicks; posted to Main » on 28 Nov 2012 at 4:20 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



74 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2012-11-28 01:28:19 PM
I wonder how much that cost the city?

Those dumb motherfarkers should have been left to drown. Farking idiots.
 
2012-11-28 01:34:43 PM
Whiskey Sours are a damned fine idea, but I would have stopped there.
 
2012-11-28 01:36:34 PM
...they used a rubber raft "rigged with a piece of plywood in the bottom and swim noodles for stability"

How could they possibly fail?
 
2012-11-28 02:15:39 PM
i369.photobucket.com">

Hope they have to pay the bill for that rescue.


/and they got their balls tased when no one was watching
 
2012-11-28 02:20:53 PM
And we died a thousand times in that forty miles of hell
The longest day of life we'd ever seen
But we lived to tell the story and we know the story well
The day we ran the rapids of the Green...er, Monocacy
 
2012-11-28 02:26:38 PM
if there is a place to go worth dying for in a hurricane, it is wal mart.
 
2012-11-28 02:58:05 PM
Today's Tom Sawyer
 
2012-11-28 04:23:33 PM
Some people watch too much Bear Grylls on TV or something
 
2012-11-28 04:24:26 PM
What the hell, Darwin? Were you sleeping at your post again?
 
2012-11-28 04:25:01 PM
No "Hero" tag?
 
2012-11-28 04:26:06 PM
Whiskey Thread!

At home waiting:

www.liquorlockerla.com
 
2012-11-28 04:27:49 PM

MaudlinMutantMollusk: Today's Tom Sawyer


Mean mean Pride.
 
2012-11-28 04:27:56 PM
If they had the ingredients for whiskey sours at home, what the hell did they need at Walmart?
 
2012-11-28 04:29:47 PM

tried to sail down a raging river during Superstorm Sandy


How exactly did they plan to sail back UP the raging river?


something something cunning plan
 
2012-11-28 04:30:27 PM
dnrtfa, but if Subbsies headline is acurate (which they never are) that sounds like a hell of a fun thing to do

Off to read article knowing that I am probably going to be leaving disapointed, but hopefully not
 
2012-11-28 04:33:41 PM
What are their Fark handles?
 
2012-11-28 04:34:32 PM
Kingsbury's wife begged him not to go and refused to pick them up after their shopping, but a friend did agree to help them out.

Best part of the story right there...
 
2012-11-28 04:36:54 PM

Headso: Kingsbury's wife begged him not to go and refused to pick them up after their shopping, but a friend did agree to help them out.

Best part of the story right there...


No, this is the best part: " ... there were hints of fear - but not from the water. The paper quotes the incident report saying: "(Kingsbury) advised that his wife would be furious with him."
 
2012-11-28 04:37:30 PM
This is the river under the 355 bridge (downstream of where they were by about 8 river miles) at normal levels:


This is the river in the same spot during the flood in the article:
sphotos-a.xx.fbcdn.net

Dumbshiats... they wouldn't have even been able to get under any of the bridges if they'd stayed afloat, and there are 2-3 between their put-in and where they'd take out.
 
2012-11-28 04:39:04 PM
Stupid panoramio link. Here's the before: mw2.google.com
 
2012-11-28 04:39:19 PM

olapbill: MaudlinMutantMollusk: Today's Tom Sawyer

Mean mean Pride.


Thank you, you guys have driven "Doe Ray Me" from the Sound of Music out of my head.
 
2012-11-28 04:40:20 PM

tallen702: Stupid panoramio link. Here's the before: [mw2.google.com image 500x375]


Whoa...they would have lost their heads!
 
2012-11-28 04:42:08 PM
"Two dudes made whiskey sours"

dudes = wine cooler drinking pussies
 
2012-11-28 04:42:13 PM
Don't you need a sail to go sailing? More like they wanted to float down the river.
 
2012-11-28 04:44:20 PM
i.imgur.com
 
2012-11-28 04:44:44 PM

Endive Wombat: tallen702: Stupid panoramio link. Here's the before: [mw2.google.com image 500x375]

Whoa...they would have lost their heads!


That's IF they even made it to the deck. The hydraulics generated by the piers on the upriver side were massive and sucking down whole trees.

You can kind of see them in this picture. See the water piling up on the front of the pylon? See the whirlpools/re-circulation to the sides of the pier/pylon? Yep, that's bad juju right there:
sphotos-b.xx.fbcdn.net
 
2012-11-28 04:44:56 PM
Damn they are still in my state and alive!?!??! The wife should have checked the ole life insurance policy
 
2012-11-28 04:49:04 PM

Gyrfalcon: If they had the ingredients for whiskey sours at home, what the hell did they need at Walmart?


Maybe they wanted to switch to Old Fashioneds.
 
2012-11-28 04:55:13 PM

tallen702: Endive Wombat: tallen702: Stupid panoramio link. Here's the before: [mw2.google.com image 500x375]

Whoa...they would have lost their heads!

That's IF they even made it to the deck. The hydraulics generated by the piers on the upriver side were massive and sucking down whole trees.

You can kind of see them in this picture. See the water piling up on the front of the pylon? See the whirlpools/re-circulation to the sides of the pier/pylon? Yep, that's bad juju right there:
[sphotos-b.xx.fbcdn.net image 850x637]


How far from the road surface was the water? 10 feet?
 
2012-11-28 04:57:04 PM
"Paddle faster! I hear banjos!"
 
2012-11-28 05:00:52 PM
High on the rapids
It struck their tiny raft.
And plunged them down a thousand feet below.
To the Land of the Lost.
 
2012-11-28 05:01:50 PM

Endive Wombat: tallen702: Endive Wombat: tallen702: Stupid panoramio link. Here's the before: [mw2.google.com image 500x375]

Whoa...they would have lost their heads!

That's IF they even made it to the deck. The hydraulics generated by the piers on the upriver side were massive and sucking down whole trees.

You can kind of see them in this picture. See the water piling up on the front of the pylon? See the whirlpools/re-circulation to the sides of the pier/pylon? Yep, that's bad juju right there:
[sphotos-b.xx.fbcdn.net image 850x637]

How far from the road surface was the water? 10 feet?


When I drove on that bridge a day after the hurricane, the water was about 2 feet from the bottom of the bridge.

There are two Walmarts in Frederick, the one I assume they were going to is approximately 4 miles upstream of the bridge over MD-355.

Still, they're farking retarded.
 
2012-11-28 05:08:39 PM

Endive Wombat:

How far from the road surface was the water? 10 feet?


In that picture, about 6' or so. It was close to cresting.

Amish Animal Scientist:

When I drove on that bridge a day after the hurricane, the water was about 2 feet from the bottom of the bridge.

There are two Walmarts in Frederick, the one I assume they were going to is approximately 4 miles upstream of the bridge over MD-355.

Still, they're farking retarded.


Yeah, they were headed to the Monocacy blvd one. And yeah, they're super retarded.
 
2012-11-28 05:21:35 PM

tallen702: This is the river under the 355 bridge (downstream of where they were by about 8 river miles) at normal levels:


This is the river in the same spot during the flood in the article:
[sphotos-a.xx.fbcdn.net image 0x0]

Dumbshiats... they wouldn't have even been able to get under any of the bridges if they'd stayed afloat, and there are 2-3 between their put-in and where they'd take out.


JESUS! The floodwater were so high the pictures are gone!
 
2012-11-28 05:21:44 PM

Marcus Aurelius: Whiskey Sours are a damned fine idea, but I would have stopped there.



Yup. Hurricane coming? Board up the winders and open up the bottles. Just stay safe in your home.
 
2012-11-28 05:22:20 PM
Pat, Retch and Crazy Eddie scoff at their "raft". It wasn't even submergible
 
2012-11-28 05:26:13 PM

groppet: Damn they are still in my state and alive!?!??! The wife should have checked the ole life insurance policy


seriously. all paid up = wife is mounting scope to the old Kill-More2000, chugs on down the road in teh SUV from hell to find a good vantage point. plink plink, what's that? that's the sound of the fat lady singing. wife dials 1-800-write the check Premium Boy, lives happily ever after.
 
2012-11-28 05:28:53 PM

Beerguy: What are their Fark handles?

 
2012-11-28 05:29:37 PM
People forget that Maryland is below the Mason/Dixon line.
 
2012-11-28 05:32:32 PM
Beer run?
 
2012-11-28 05:41:43 PM

tallen702: Yep, that's bad juju right there:


No it isn't. Juju passed away a decade ago, and she wasn't *THAT* bad of a cat.
 
2012-11-28 05:43:16 PM
Ugh, white people....
 
2012-11-28 05:49:17 PM
Be glad they was doing this up north, down south rafting stories usually involve banjo music and someone making animal noises
 
2012-11-28 05:51:00 PM
Tom Collins to the rescue.
 
2012-11-28 05:53:36 PM
Evolution in Action™
 
2012-11-28 05:59:27 PM
FTFA: Additionally, Bowers said he had not changed his view about the trip and would do it again.
"Absolutely, better boat next time,"

Ah, the American spirit I know and love.
 
2012-11-28 06:37:12 PM
♫♪ I'm proud to be an American, where at least I know I'm free...to do some Darwin taunting shiat and have tax payer funded first responders bail me out ♫♪
 
2012-11-28 06:39:34 PM

Smeggy Smurf: Pat, Retch and Crazy Eddie scoff at their "raft". It wasn't even submergible


Now there's a reference you don't see often.
 
2012-11-28 06:44:18 PM

special20: FTFA: Additionally, Bowers said he had not changed his view about the trip and would do it again.
"Absolutely, better boat next time,"

Ah, the American spirit I know and love.


I would have taken my kayak.
 
2012-11-28 06:47:11 PM
CSB
In central AZ, i knew some guys who tried the same thing when the (normally dry or trickling ) Agua Fria River flooded. Destination: Phoenix ... 60 miles south. they made it about 8 miles before running into a similar fate (barbed wire fence in this case).

/CSB
 
2012-11-28 06:47:22 PM

Noticeably F.A.T.: Smeggy Smurf: Pat, Retch and Crazy Eddie scoff at their "raft". It wasn't even submergible

Now there's a reference you don't see often.


It's a damn shame too. Kids need to know these things.
 
2012-11-28 06:54:23 PM
A bourbon sour made with Red Stage cherry-infused Jim Beam bourbon is the only acceptable drink for hurricane rafting. These guys were amateurs.
 
2012-11-28 07:15:55 PM
I stopped reading the headline at "Two dudes" and am leaving this thread and the link sorely disappointed.
 
2012-11-28 07:25:26 PM
Red Stage, eh
 
2012-11-28 07:38:35 PM
SUPERSTORM!
 
2012-11-28 07:40:27 PM

Joe The Plumber: CSB
In central AZ, i knew some guys who tried the same thing when the (normally dry or trickling ) Agua Fria River flooded. Destination: Phoenix ... 60 miles south. they made it about 8 miles before running into a similar fate (barbed wire fence in this case).

/CSB


Did they have to be rescued too? Sound like something almost worth trying, but 60miles??? You're bound to run into some obstacles.
 
2012-11-28 07:48:33 PM

Jiro Dreams Of McRibs: A bourbon sour made with Red Stage cherry-infused Jim Beam bourbon is the only acceptable drink for hurricane rafting. These guys were amateurs.


Seems like a hurricane would be a good drink during a hurricane. Just fill your camelback with it so you can drink while you paddle.
 
2012-11-28 07:53:29 PM

Phony_Soldier: Joe The Plumber: CSB
In central AZ, i knew some guys who tried the same thing when the (normally dry or trickling ) Agua Fria River flooded. Destination: Phoenix ... 60 miles south. they made it about 8 miles before running into a similar fate (barbed wire fence in this case).

/CSB

Did they have to be rescued too? Sound like something almost worth trying, but 60miles??? You're bound to run into some obstacles.


nah, just a long hike home, followed by being the subject of countless Huck Finn jokes for years.
 
2012-11-28 08:12:55 PM
Life is about stories. This is a good one.
 
2012-11-28 08:26:09 PM

MaudlinMutantMollusk: Today's Tom Sawyer


He gets high on you,
and the space he invades
gets by on you!

also dropped by for ....Joe
/leaving disappointed
 
2012-11-28 08:27:36 PM

billygeek: Ugh, white people....


Obviously. Did you read the headline?

It didn't say, "Two men drank 40s, stole a raft, and tried to sail down a raging river during Superstorm S'andy."
 
2012-11-28 08:55:41 PM

a61sun: MaudlinMutantMollusk: Today's Tom Sawyer

He gets high on you,
and the space he invades
gets by on you!

also dropped by for ....Joe
/leaving disappointed


Ended up sitting on a sandbar?

/down to a handful of treasure?
 
2012-11-28 08:59:48 PM

Jiro Dreams Of McRibs: A bourbon sour made with Red Stage cherry-infused Jim Beam bourbon is the only acceptable drink for hurricane rafting. These guys were amateurs.


I have some of that stuff, somebody brought it to a party (no idea who) and left it afterwards. It's farking crap, I've just been trying to use it in things where I won't actually taste it that much. Of course, if you like artificial cherry flavor additive mixed with the barrels of bourbon that were too crappy to bottle straight, it might just be for you.

I could use a whiskey sour, but I think I'll use a decent bourbon.
 
2012-11-28 09:00:23 PM
^And by "decent", I mean "not utter crap".
 
2012-11-28 09:08:54 PM
GIS for whiskey sour...

cuteoverload.files.wordpress.com
 
2012-11-28 09:10:39 PM
Poor Fredrick,
So far from Heaven
So close to West Virgina.
 
2012-11-28 09:20:50 PM
Hold my beer and watch this.
 
2012-11-29 12:23:00 AM
It's great to see that there are still American men who will venture outdoors during the biggest Atlantic hurricane ever recorded, to set off a river in full flood stage armed with nothing more than a homebuilt raft, a comrade, and a ration of whiskey.
 
2012-11-29 01:37:31 AM

uncleacid: Tom Collins to the rescue.


YOU! YOU were the one who made me erupt with inappropriate late-night laughter.

/like my wife isn't angry enough
 
2012-11-29 01:48:34 AM

tallen702: Dumbshiats... they wouldn't have even been able to get under any of the bridges if they'd stayed afloat, and there are 2-3 between their put-in and where they'd take out.


Yeah, that's called a "portage"
 
2012-11-29 01:25:17 PM
My friends...



...just stay home. Please. You're not cut out for it.
 
2012-11-29 02:00:10 PM
Ah, Frederick..... the Florida of Maryland.
 
2012-11-29 08:21:26 PM

LordOfThePings: tallen702: Dumbshiats... they wouldn't have even been able to get under any of the bridges if they'd stayed afloat, and there are 2-3 between their put-in and where they'd take out.

Yeah, that's called a "portage"


No shiat... you mean you can carry the boat overland?
 
2012-11-29 09:23:16 PM
They went down with the ship!

And even after being fished out of the trees, all they said was "better boat next time." ????

I'm sorry, but those guys rock.

See you next hurricane.
 
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