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(Yahoo)   Man can't handle finding out that his wife made 10-20 pornos 8 years before they met, despite the fact he probably enjoyed the fruits of those labors repeatedly   (news.yahoo.com) divider line 278
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26187 clicks; posted to Main » on 28 Nov 2012 at 10:50 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-11-28 08:45:21 AM  
Dude...

Get over it.

You weren't her first, and probably not her best, but you have things about you that make her want to be with you... so shut the hell up and enjoy the life you have now... lest you find yourself pining for what you have lost.
 
2012-11-28 08:55:50 AM  
He could have mentioned her name so we could properly assess whether he should be able to handle it.
 
2012-11-28 08:56:12 AM  
Also dude, how did you find out?
 
2012-11-28 09:01:11 AM  
Dude was probably surfing porn and stumbled upon his wife being spit roasted and basted.

/awkward
 
2012-11-28 09:09:53 AM  
I wish I could be so picky. If it were me, I'd be content that she'd left that career in her past. However, not sure if I could date a current rather than a former porn star. That would probably be a bit difficult to someone who usually believes in monogamy, such as I.
 
2012-11-28 09:14:53 AM  
Depends on the type of porn.

Run-of-the-mill "college girls gets boinked and spooged on by some dude" porn: meh. Whatever. She's just doing what pretty much every girl with her boyfriend these days, but she did it on camera for money.

Hardcore gangbanging/group sex/getting a train run/blowing 8 or 10 guys: not so cool. You're getting tested, STAT. And then I probably need a few weeks to get the images out of my head. Sorry, but that's just me.

Donkey porn/two girls one cup stuff/hard BDSM: it's probably over. I'm not judging, but...if you can do that sort of thing, you are 1) clearly not the person I thought you were/you advertised yourself to be, and 2) not the sort of person I probably want to be with. I would hear you out, but the odds wouldn't be in your favor.
 
2012-11-28 09:19:36 AM  

whistleridge: Depends on the type of porn.

Run-of-the-mill "college girls gets boinked and spooged on by some dude" porn: meh. Whatever. She's just doing what pretty much every girl with her boyfriend these days, but she did it on camera for money.

Hardcore gangbanging/group sex/getting a train run/blowing 8 or 10 guys: not so cool. You're getting tested, STAT. And then I probably need a few weeks to get the images out of my head. Sorry, but that's just me.

Donkey porn/two girls one cup stuff/hard BDSM: it's probably over. I'm not judging, but...if you can do that sort of thing, you are 1) clearly not the person I thought you were/you advertised yourself to be, and 2) not the sort of person I probably want to be with. I would hear you out, but the odds wouldn't be in your favor.


What's wrong with a little BDSM? I don't think any middle class home without a sex dungeon is complete.
 
2012-11-28 09:28:28 AM  

Cythraul: What's wrong with a little BDSM? I don't think any middle class home without a sex dungeon is complete.


After my son was born, I had to turn mine into a computer room.
 
2012-11-28 09:30:23 AM  

Cythraul: What's wrong with a little BDSM? I don't think any middle class home without a sex dungeon is complete.


I know you're being tongue in cheek, but it's still a valid question, so...

Light BDSM: not my thing, but if you were into it, whatever.

Heavy BDSM: definitely not my thing, and I am in no way attracted to someone who wants to be that dominant, that passive, or that into pain. I don't judge, but I don't want it either, and if I'm not judging you, kindly return the favor.

If you were into big time and then you were like 'you know what? no...that's just not my thing' and that's why you quit, we'll be ok. But if you're still really into and you're secretly tamping it down in the hopes that one day I might get into it too...that's a problem. I don't want to be with someone I can't fulfill, and if a major part of your sexuality isn't being touched, I think it's inevitable that you will be strongly tempted to cheat. And I don't want that either. Odds wouldn't be good.

But in fairness, that's less about the porn aspect that it is about the incompatible sexuality aspect.
 
2012-11-28 09:50:48 AM  
That's definitely a before marriage kind of revelation.
 
2012-11-28 09:53:34 AM  

Sybarite: That's definitely a before marriage kind of revelation.


Not if you want to have a marriage.
 
2012-11-28 09:59:43 AM  
Hey, he should be looking at the bright side. If she says she wouldn't do xyz he can say, "Yes you can...you did it in College Sluts Vol 31!" If she did 10-20 pornos, odds are she was doing some serious hardcore at that point...and if you're lucky some lesbian porn to boot.

Seriously, she did it when she was 19...dude, get over it. I can understand the disappointment of NOT being told, but she was probably too ashamed to tell the man she loved. Of course, you have more important things to worry about...like your kids seeing mom get screwed by men that aren't their father. You'll have to find a way to deal with that because they WILL find it eventually. The thing about internet porn...it never goes away.

I'm just waiting for some intrepid farker to figure out who this lady is. She was 19, 13 years ago (which means it's 1999-2000) and did 10-20 pornos.
 
2012-11-28 10:06:48 AM  

slayer199: I'm just waiting for some intrepid farker to figure out who this lady is. She was 19, 13 years ago (which means it's 1999-2000) and did 10-20 pornos.


Well that narrows it down to 300 or 400 women... and that is just the Americans.
 
2012-11-28 10:06:55 AM  

Cythraul: What's wrong with a little BDSM? I don't think any middle class home without a sex dungeon is complete.


When I win the lotto tonight, the house I build is going to just be one large bdsm dungeon with all the trimmings.
 
2012-11-28 10:09:04 AM  

Cythraul: Sybarite: That's definitely a before marriage kind of revelation.

Not if you want to have a marriage.


All kidding aside, I'd find it a little bit hot that my woman did that in a former lifetime. And unlike the guy above, I wouldn't care what she'd done. It doesn't matter who was there before me, just that I'm the last.
 
2012-11-28 10:18:04 AM  

SurfaceTension: Cythraul: Sybarite: That's definitely a before marriage kind of revelation.

Not if you want to have a marriage.

All kidding aside, I'd find it a little bit hot that my woman did that in a former lifetime. And unlike the guy above, I wouldn't care what she'd done. It doesn't matter who was there before me, just that I'm the last.


All kidding aside, I agree. I think this is a case of insecurity on the part of the male.

Unless you lived a puritanical life in your late teens and twenties, chances are, you're going to have a sexual past when you find the one you want to settle down with. Most couples I know of have a rule of 'lets just acknowledge that we were not angels before we met and not go into great detail about the who and whats we've done.'

The biggest difference here, and I admit that it's not insignificant, is that this woman's sexual past was recorded and sold. If he loves her, and this is in her past, why would he allow it to be such a insurmountable obstacle in their relationship? I can understand if he's worried about how confusing it will eventually be to his children. But I imagine this is mostly due to insecurity spawned from some outdated ideology that a man is allowed to have sexual conquests in his past, while his life mate is expected to have been a virginal flower up until the wedding night.
 
2012-11-28 10:27:41 AM  

Shadow Blasko: Well that narrows it down to 300 or 400 women... and that is just the Americans.


Actually, it's the number of pornos that she did in one year. It meant she must have been fairly popular for a year. It would be nearly impossible to find her if she only did 2 or 3. But if she did 10 or 20...should narrow it down a bit. And I'm assuming she's American which narrows it down further.
 
2012-11-28 10:42:44 AM  
The guy mentions that they both have kids from previous marriages, so he knew she was not a virgin going into this.
So I am wondering if he is one of those 'deeply faithful, no sex outside of marriage' types and believed or told that she was the same, until this evidence came up.

Things would be lot clearer if he made some effort to explain why it bothered him. Until then we have to assume he is jealously assuming that she is daydreaming about her past partners because they have bigger dicks.
 
2012-11-28 10:52:27 AM  

grokca: He could have mentioned her name so we could properly assess whether he should be able to handle it.


This.

It was the only reason why I read the entire "letter". TFA does NOT deliver.
 
2012-11-28 10:53:40 AM  
People are judged by their character? Color me shocked!
 
2012-11-28 10:56:36 AM  
RULE 34 = your wife



/lol
 
2012-11-28 10:57:18 AM  
Just to get this out of the way,

i.imgur.com
 
2012-11-28 10:57:29 AM  
"Dear Abby"

Stopped reading right there.

Same as "Dear Penthouse"
 
2012-11-28 10:57:31 AM  
10-20?

So she had a job over one winter break, get over it.
 
2012-11-28 10:57:56 AM  
And next time, I might even read the headline I'm on before I post!
 
2012-11-28 10:58:15 AM  

Slives: The guy mentions that they both have kids from previous marriages, so he knew she was not a virgin going into this.


There's quite a difference between knowing something has happened and seeing it happen.
 
2012-11-28 11:00:19 AM  

Cythraul: All kidding aside, I agree. I think this is a case of insecurity on the part of the male.


*raises eyebrow*

I didn't get that out of his comments. I thought they were pretty damn cogent.

If my husband did sheiss porn at some point in the past, I'd what to know what mental chain of events lead him to marry me and not flippin' tell me about it. I'd like all the information to make my own decisions. Plus, the idea that some time in the future he'd desperately wish I'd do something I really don't want to do and that it may put a huge wedge in our relationship? Definitely something I'd want to avoid.
 
2012-11-28 11:02:20 AM  

GhostfacedFiddlah: Just to get this out of the way,

[i.imgur.com image 461x382]


i18.photobucket.com
 
2012-11-28 11:02:21 AM  

GhostfacedFiddlah: Just to get this out of the way,


I'm sure the guy will be able to get over the fact that his wife did ATM on video that is out there for the world to see now that he knows global warming has been predicted since the 70s. Whew.
 
2012-11-28 11:03:12 AM  

whistleridge: Depends on the type of porn.

Run-of-the-mill "college girls gets boinked and spooged on by some dude" porn: meh. Whatever. She's just doing what pretty much every girl with her boyfriend these days, but she did it on camera for money.

Hardcore gangbanging/group sex/getting a train run/blowing 8 or 10 guys: not so cool. You're getting tested, STAT. And then I probably need a few weeks to get the images out of my head. Sorry, but that's just me.

Donkey porn/two girls one cup stuff/hard BDSM: it's probably over. I'm not judging, but...if you can do that sort of thing, you are 1) clearly not the person I thought you were/you advertised yourself to be, and 2) not the sort of person I probably want to be with. I would hear you out, but the odds wouldn't be in your favor.


Man, what a prude.
 
2012-11-28 11:03:21 AM  

Cythraul: Sybarite: That's definitely a before marriage kind of revelation.

Not if you want to have a marriage.


Depends on what kind of marriage you want.

Eight years ago, at age 19? I'd be OK with that. I'd want HIV testing just to cover that base. Then I'd file the info away under, "My wife's childhood memories."
 
2012-11-28 11:04:03 AM  
Dude.. she made 10 to 20 porn videos? Okay... thats a problem that she dont remember the number,.

but dude. DUDE!! she chose you.. thats gotta be a confidence booster. YOU.. YOU are the one she wants after taking all those various dicks. DUDE.. you are LEGEND!

also..hey.. you know those kids and that previous marriage? those had farking her happening as well.
 
2012-11-28 11:04:13 AM  

GhostfacedFiddlah: Just to get this out of the way,

[i.imgur.com image 461x382]


We're talking about "porn" NOT "pirates"!

/get with the program
 
2012-11-28 11:04:27 AM  
Methinks he didn't really state why he has a problem with this.

Married for 8 years. I seriously doubt he's getting the action he wants. She is his wife, not his girlfriend. She's pretty much banged anyone for money on camera, and with what he's paying to support her he can't get what they got for a few hundred dollars.

All married men come to this realization at some time. His is just more obvious since its out there for the world to see. He has proof of the issue, the rest of us know it but can't prove it.
 
2012-11-28 11:05:34 AM  
Life is too short to worry about this shiat.
 
2012-11-28 11:06:31 AM  
Dude, you know why she didn't tell you about them? Because you'd react like this.
 
2012-11-28 11:08:56 AM  

Slives: The guy mentions that they both have kids from previous marriages, so he knew she was not a virgin going into this.
So I am wondering if he is one of those 'deeply faithful, no sex outside of marriage' types and believed or told that she was the same, until this evidence came up.

Things would be lot clearer if he made some effort to explain why it bothered him. Until then we have to assume he is jealously assuming that she is daydreaming about her past partners because they have much bigger dicks.


ftfy
 
2012-11-28 11:09:26 AM  
Definitely gotta get over it. rewardslink.info
 
2012-11-28 11:10:52 AM  
I'd be fine with it. Heck, I'd want to have the movies on the TV in the bedroom while we do a re-enactment! Sounds fun!
 
2012-11-28 11:12:34 AM  

whistleridge: Depends on the type of porn.

Run-of-the-mill "college girls gets boinked and spooged on by some dude" porn: meh. Whatever. She's just doing what pretty much every girl with her boyfriend these days, but she did it on camera for money.

Hardcore gangbanging/group sex/getting a train run/blowing 8 or 10 guys: not so cool. You're getting tested, STAT. And then I probably need a few weeks to get the images out of my head. Sorry, but that's just me.

Donkey porn/two girls one cup stuff/hard BDSM: it's probably over. I'm not judging, but...if you can do that sort of thing, you are 1) clearly not the person I thought you were/you advertised yourself to be, and 2) not the sort of person I probably want to be with. I would hear you out, but the odds wouldn't be in your favor.


WHOA...WHOA...WHOA!!! So you are saying, and correct me If I have this wrong, that if you found out that a potential bride of yours had done some donkey porn, that would be a deal breaker???? Wow...check out Mr. High Standards here. Keep setting that bar so high and you will never find a mate.

Seriously, the dude in TFA needs to keep perspective in all this. He fell in love, he is happy, why over think this. Yea, so the missus wasn't always the Sunday School teacher he thought. Sure, in hindsight it would have nice to have been in the loop on the details before the "I DOs" but it beats finding out she was a meth head who had her kids taken away after getting busted selling her ass in a back alley. If he had backed out before the nuptials, he probably would have regretted for the rest of his days, giving up on the person that makes him happy
 
2012-11-28 11:13:26 AM  
This has nothing whatsoever to do with his being upset that she had had sex with other men before him, folks. No one expects their girlfriend or wife-to-be to be a virgin these days. She made porno movies -- several of them. He had a right to know of this sordid past before they married and she withheld the information. He was denied the opportunity to either come to terms with this information or walk away before he made several life altering decisions. He has every right to be upset and most of us would be too. If he can find out about this, their children most assuredly will. It's inevitable.
 
2012-11-28 11:13:46 AM  
I've said it before and I'll say it again. When you get into a relationship with somone your have a claim on their future, but none at all on their past. If you like who they are now, then everything that's behind them had something to do with that. if they want to share, cool, but if not, unless it affects your health or safety, it's nunya bidness.
 
2012-11-28 11:14:41 AM  
I married a 19 year-old stripper before she had a chance to make any porn. I'm kind of sad.
 
2012-11-28 11:16:43 AM  
Hes mad cuz she wants to peg him, I guess.
 
2012-11-28 11:17:01 AM  
He's just pissed because shew wont do THAT with him.
 
2012-11-28 11:17:08 AM  

kvinesknows: Dude.. she made 10 to 20 porn videos? Okay... thats a problem that she dont remember the number,.

but dude. DUDE!! she chose you.. thats gotta be a confidence booster. YOU.. YOU are the one she wants after taking all those various dicks. DUDE.. you are LEGEND!

also..hey.. you know those kids and that previous marriage? those had farking her happening as well.


Your post made my head hurt worse than it already is.
 
2012-11-28 11:17:14 AM  
farkers are a resourceful bunch. hopefully a link or a name surfaces and then this comment becomes more than a comment but a marker of books.
 
2012-11-28 11:17:59 AM  

basemetal: He's just pissed because shew wont do THAT with him.


*points to nose
 
2012-11-28 11:18:10 AM  

minoridiot: I married a 19 year-old stripper before she had a chance to make any porn. I'm kind of sad.


It's never too late.
 
2012-11-28 11:19:14 AM  

Cythraul: whistleridge: Depends on the type of porn.

Run-of-the-mill "college girls gets boinked and spooged on by some dude" porn: meh. Whatever. She's just doing what pretty much every girl with her boyfriend these days, but she did it on camera for money.

Hardcore gangbanging/group sex/getting a train run/blowing 8 or 10 guys: not so cool. You're getting tested, STAT. And then I probably need a few weeks to get the images out of my head. Sorry, but that's just me.

Donkey porn/two girls one cup stuff/hard BDSM: it's probably over. I'm not judging, but...if you can do that sort of thing, you are 1) clearly not the person I thought you were/you advertised yourself to be, and 2) not the sort of person I probably want to be with. I would hear you out, but the odds wouldn't be in your favor.

What's wrong with a little BDSM? I don't think any middle class home without a sex dungeon is complete.


Hell, an apartment without a sex dungeon is rather lacking, in my opinion.

/Secret door in the closet.
 
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