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(Salon)   What causes the ghey? Rolls dice: Sex with demons   (salon.com) divider line 197
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9806 clicks; posted to Main » on 27 Nov 2012 at 5:57 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-11-27 05:01:53 PM
so lets review:

1. don't have sex with demons.
2. don't make deals with devils.
3. don't ever make a deal with a devil for demon sex.

is everyone clear on rule #3? good! quiz tomorrow then. class dismissed!
 
2012-11-27 05:04:29 PM
25.media.tumblr.com
 
2012-11-27 05:16:02 PM
If I have to suspend disbelief to a greater degree reading your hard-hitting journalism than I do when reading Lord of the Rings, you might have a credibility problem.
 
2012-11-27 05:21:36 PM
"Anybody that has been attacked by them will tell you ... they're worried [that] they could not find that pleasure with mortal people," says Adams, who claims she was once possessed by sexual demons

Just where do I get me one of these here demons?
 
2012-11-27 05:25:04 PM

Marcus Aurelius: "Anybody that has been attacked by them will tell you ... they're worried [that] they could not find that pleasure with mortal people," says Adams, who claims she was once possessed by sexual demons

Just where do I get me one of these here demons?


Wal-mart has them on special this week.
 
2012-11-27 05:28:52 PM
I thought the demon sex was kinda like a signing bonus after you committed to play for the other team?
 
2012-11-27 05:33:56 PM

Weaver95: Marcus Aurelius: "Anybody that has been attacked by them will tell you ... they're worried [that] they could not find that pleasure with mortal people," says Adams, who claims she was once possessed by sexual demons

Just where do I get me one of these here demons?

Wal-mart has them on special this week.


I'm not sure I'd be comfortable with a succubus that was made in China.
 
2012-11-27 05:40:14 PM
Its really too bad I'm at work. Otherwise I would turn this into a bears vs. jocks vs twinks thread so demonic, your heads will spin.
 
2012-11-27 05:43:50 PM

Marcus Aurelius: Weaver95: Marcus Aurelius: "Anybody that has been attacked by them will tell you ... they're worried [that] they could not find that pleasure with mortal people," says Adams, who claims she was once possessed by sexual demons

Just where do I get me one of these here demons?

Wal-mart has them on special this week.

I'm not sure I'd be comfortable with a succubus that was made in China.


look man, we had to outsource our demon sex to China to save costs. sure, maybe we put some local US demons out of work but hey - by outsourcing our demons to china we saved on costs AND were able to provide low cost demon sex to more people in middle america than ever before. Free Market dude! Invisible hand and all that.
 
2012-11-27 05:47:36 PM
They always wear too much sulfur. It's like they bathe in the stuff. Almost as bad as Drakkar.
 
2012-11-27 05:59:48 PM
Are they hot demons?
 
2012-11-27 06:00:52 PM
I know that when I get that feeling I want sexual demons.
 
2012-11-27 06:01:08 PM

Weaver95: so lets review:

1. don't have sex with demons.
2. don't make deals with devils.
3. don't ever make a deal with a devil for demon sex.

is everyone clear on rule #3? good! quiz tomorrow then. class dismissed!


Just stay away from yugoloths. Qlippoth are right out.
 
2012-11-27 06:01:37 PM
Keep it up, Christpublicans. Show the world just how crazy and detached from reality you really are.
 
2012-11-27 06:01:56 PM
I can say that it's not true, being with many female demons and only attracting more to fulfill the vicious cycle I cannot break.
 
2012-11-27 06:02:24 PM

Marcus Aurelius: "Anybody that has been attacked by them will tell you ... they're worried [that] they could not find that pleasure with mortal people," says Adams, who claims she was once possessed by sexual demons

Just where do I get me one of these here demons?


Wait until Bob Larson exorcises one.
 
2012-11-27 06:02:31 PM
So many horny demons, soooo little time.
 
2012-11-27 06:03:02 PM
On the other hand listening to Incubus may be a sign that you're gay.
 
2012-11-27 06:04:18 PM
Not a dude, but I have the weirdest boner right now.
 
2012-11-27 06:04:27 PM
My favorite demons are chupacabras. If you rub goat cheese on your cock, they will suck it dry. Your cock, not the goat cheese.
 
2012-11-27 06:05:17 PM

12349876: Are they hot demons?


They'd have to be hot to put me off of humans. They're my favorite mammal.
 
2012-11-27 06:05:19 PM
Are you the gatekeeper?
 
2012-11-27 06:06:07 PM
Well, after summoning the Demoness Leshastar to kill my enemies and give me material power over the realm of Silvercoast, what is a warlock to do with her?.
 
2012-11-27 06:06:11 PM
See, what they're not spelling out is that you get demons by hanging around with people with demons. See, they're like a disease or something... and so when they say you turn gay by having sex with demons what they really mean is that you turn gay by having sex with someone who is demon possessed, i.e. gay.

And having gay sex is a pretty good sign you're gay. So, their logic pans out here!
 
2012-11-27 06:07:00 PM
Where did you get those dice!?
 
2012-11-27 06:07:36 PM
I like how subby snuck a D&D association into this.
 
2012-11-27 06:08:09 PM
Those demon girls; wowwow wowwowwow; and you thought that the 3 boobed hooker on total recall was awesome. They can take any physical appearance they want; plus you can't get 'em pregnant. You do have to watch out for demon aids though.
 
2012-11-27 06:08:58 PM
Holy crap I swear someone read a story on literotica and decided it was true.


Which... you know... happens.
 
2012-11-27 06:09:01 PM

ladyfortuna: I like how subby snuck a D&D association into this.


This. Now we need Deadlands references.
 
2012-11-27 06:09:10 PM
Personal accountability: 0
Demons: 1
 
2012-11-27 06:09:11 PM
This is why those priests are so busy exorcising young children in the butt to remove the gay demons.
 
2012-11-27 06:09:30 PM
My 60-something oh-so-fashionable "uncles" seemed so boring at Thanksgiving. Never would have guessed...
 
2012-11-27 06:09:59 PM
But what causes sex with demons? We need to get to root causes here, people!
 
2012-11-27 06:10:04 PM

GypsyJoker: Marcus Aurelius: "Anybody that has been attacked by them will tell you ... they're worried [that] they could not find that pleasure with mortal people," says Adams, who claims she was once possessed by sexual demons

Just where do I get me one of these here demons?

Wait until Bob Larson exorcises one.


Ewww! I'm not gay, I'm just into demon sex.

/NTTAWWT
 
2012-11-27 06:11:00 PM

SteelDraco: Weaver95: so lets review:

1. don't have sex with demons.
2. don't make deals with devils.
3. don't ever make a deal with a devil for demon sex.

is everyone clear on rule #3? good! quiz tomorrow then. class dismissed!

Just stay away from yugoloths. Qlippoth are right out.


ya know what the problem with Qlippothic demons is? they're not even sure humanity has two genders, nor do they care. they just find a hole, stick an ovipositor in there and BAM! 9 months later, a happy little spawnling rips its way outta yer guts. male, female...they'll get you pregnant and never call back.
 
2012-11-27 06:11:09 PM

iheartscotch: Those demon girls; wowwow wowwowwow; and you thought that the 3 boobed hooker on total recall was awesome. They can take any physical appearance they want; plus you can't get 'em pregnant. You do have to watch out for demon aids though.


But they do have babies.

www.alicia-logic.com
 
2012-11-27 06:11:11 PM
I was called a sexual demon years ago, but I don't think I ever turned anyone gay.
 
2012-11-27 06:11:23 PM
This precludes the notion that there isn't hot, sexy, demon ladies.
 
2012-11-27 06:12:00 PM
So, when they say "get thee behind me, Demon," it's actually a come on?
 
2012-11-27 06:12:12 PM

fusillade762: But what causes sex with demons? We need to get to root causes here, people!


Being married to a Christian and not having sex apart from procreation?
 
2012-11-27 06:12:59 PM

iheartscotch: Those demon girls; wowwow wowwowwow; and you thought that the 3 boobed hooker on total recall was awesome. They can take any physical appearance they want; plus you can't get 'em pregnant. You do have to watch out for demon aids though.


mimg.ugo.com

Just don't stick it in her three hole, and you'll be fine.
 
2012-11-27 06:12:59 PM
I once shot a demon in my pajamas. What he was doing in my pajamas I'll tell you when you're a little older.
 
2012-11-27 06:13:03 PM
This inspires the ghey? Really?
 
2012-11-27 06:13:21 PM

Weaver95: 1. don't have sex with demons.


I hear they're pretty good at it tho
 
2012-11-27 06:13:27 PM
So, if the demon just gives me oral, does that still count? How about anal? Can I have anal sex with a demon and still be straight?
 
2012-11-27 06:14:00 PM
The author may be on to something. I've had sex with women so evil I considered switching teams. In retrospect they were probably demons trying to steal my sexual soul for Satan. Whew, close one.
 
2012-11-27 06:14:01 PM
Also, how demons-you-might-have-sex-with would look like:

fc09.deviantart.net
 
2012-11-27 06:14:22 PM
No, sex with my first wife.



Wait.....she IS a devil from hell..................................................
 
2012-11-27 06:14:26 PM
It's funny, all I ever get out of demon sex is bleeding eyes and/or ass.

Seriously, though, this came out in a Christian magazine called "Charisma.". Isn't that one of the most ironic titles ever? Most bible thumpers I know have the charisma of a wet paper sack full of moldy sandwiches.
 
2012-11-27 06:14:35 PM
1.bp.blogspot.com

This inspires the ghey? Really?


/now with an image that isn't too large
//stupid preview button
 
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