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(Jezebel)   "The Casanova myth is so deeply ingrained that people are convinced that boys who claim to want relationships rather than casual sex are either incredibly rare or full of crap." or are trying to claw their way out of the "Friend Zone"   (jezebel.com) divider line 387
    More: Interesting, Giacomo Casanova, friend zones, interpersonal relationship, cultural landscape, sexual excitement, Challenging Casanova, A Natural History of Rape, Petraeus  
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10259 clicks; posted to Main » on 27 Nov 2012 at 8:46 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-11-27 11:41:01 PM  

EsteeFlwrPot: I understand but why I just dont understand why they wouldn't have tried to bone me already. I mean I guess they dont want to ruin the friendship


Maybe they're either worried about rejection (just as you were), or just don't want to weird you out.


EsteeFlwrPot: /sidenote, i do want to look into farkers for dating purposes.
//how would i do that?


My inbox is holding auditions ;)

Lol, seriously though, if I wasn't across the country from you I'd happily take you out.
 
2012-11-27 11:42:22 PM  

FizixJunkee: I feel so bad. I always had a large number of male friends during my young adulthood (late 1990's, early 2000's)...before the term "friendzone" existed. Around 2004, my boyfriend informed me that practically no straight guy is ever "just friends"; they're just hanging around hoping that the girl (read: me) will finally sleep with them.


Friendzone is as old as the moon. When Harry Met Sally lampshaded it and that movie came out in 1989 FFS. 

This is not a new revelation.
 
2012-11-27 11:43:26 PM  

dopekitty74: Tellingthem:

\still don't get the BIE thing
\\google image = boobs on demand (why beg when boobs are a click away?)

Cuz they're the boobs of girls you find intellectually engaging or funny or just cool, as opposed to girls you've never met and likely never will, not even on a site like fark?


Dingdingdingdingding
The breasteses of a girl you're talking to and who willingly showed them off especially for you are more interesting than the bewbs of some random girl who shows them off on the internet for a living.
 
2012-11-27 11:44:55 PM  
www.troll.me
 
2012-11-27 11:46:25 PM  

EsteeFlwrPot: /sidenote, i do want to look into farkers for dating purposes.
//how would i do that?


You have just smothered yourself in barbecue sauce and jumped into the tiger pit.


.....be careful out there.
 
2012-11-27 11:49:27 PM  
I've been friend zoned so many times that I'm sick of it. The next woman who does it is going to get a rude reply to her, "let's not ruin it, let's stay friends. Besides, you have so much to offer that you should have no problem finding the right woman." "FARK YOU BIATCH! Just tell the truth. You're sickened by the idea of having a relationship with me, so don't farkin' try to sugar coat it with bullshiat."

/yeah, I'm bitter
//go fark yourself
 
2012-11-27 11:50:06 PM  

EsteeFlwrPot: /sidenote, i do want to look into farkers for dating purposes.
//how would i do that?


Go to a Fark Party. Do it!

/Went to the Vegas party, had a blast.
 
2012-11-27 11:50:47 PM  

Gawdzila: dopekitty74: Tellingthem:

\still don't get the BIE thing
\\google image = boobs on demand (why beg when boobs are a click away?)

Cuz they're the boobs of girls you find intellectually engaging or funny or just cool, as opposed to girls you've never met and likely never will, not even on a site like fark?

Dingdingdingdingding
The breasteses of a girl you're talking to and who willingly showed them off especially for you are more interesting than the bewbs of some random girl who shows them off on the internet for a living.


Hey whatever floats your boat guys. It just doesn't do anything for me. Boobs are boobs, doesn't matter if they talked to me or not.
 
2012-11-27 11:56:46 PM  

Tellingthem: Hey whatever floats your boat guys. It just doesn't do anything for me. Boobs are boobs, doesn't matter if they talked to me or not.


media.ticketmaster.com

once you've seen one woman naked, you... wanna see the rest of 'em naked
 
2012-11-27 11:59:31 PM  
Meh, I find it very rare these days that someone is attractive enough to want to date, but also interesting enough to want to see socially if that is off the table.

Not caring about maintaining proximity to hot women just because they're hot kind of solves the "friend zone" problem.
 
2012-11-28 12:01:19 AM  

Ishkur: By the time they get to college, girls are basically competing with Redtube and Bangbus. They must put out or the guys don't care. And they must be lascivious, nasty, filthy little cum dumpsters willing to deepthroat a full load or no guy will pay any attention to them. It's all very cruel and atavistic and probably would not be so extreme without such easy access to hardcore porn as part of one's sexual education.


upon what demented planet do YOU live? because you're vastly overstating how many guys are like that.
 
2012-11-28 12:05:53 AM  
It's been a long time since I've posted but anytime there's a mention of the "friend zone" I feel that, as a resident expert, I owe it to my fellow farkers to raise a question.

Is the friend zone a terminally bad thing?

For anyone reading this who is in a situation similar to mine (a sometimes excruciating friend zone scenario) I don't recommend carrying on if the relationship is only a constant source of humiliation and pain for you. By all means, do the heavy lifting: get out.

But I'm always reticent to think of being a woman's close friend (as a heterosexual male) as having little to no upside. Emotional intimacy is difficult, as I'm sure we've all experienced, and being loved, valued, trusted, and wanted is scarce. In my experience, sex has been immensely easier to get than genuine love. The kind of love that requires real vulnerability, real sacrifice, and has meant the most to me.

Sex is important, yes. And I won't pretend that lacking the sexual relationship with this other person has been deeply challenging and often rendered me sort of terrified and violated, but I can't see it as being more important than the emotional connection. Or that the emotional connection has to take on an inferior role just because of sex.

I guess what my sleep deprived mind is coming around the long way of saying is, love is rare. Frighteningly so. To walk away from it because it's not everything you thought it would be in your head when you found it seems...unfortunate.

Any thoughts?
 
2012-11-28 12:11:27 AM  

Ishkur: Friendzone is as old as the moon. When Harry Met Sally lampshaded it and that movie came out in 1989 FFS. 

This is not a new revelation.


If You Don't Want To Be Sweethearts, Then I Don't Want To Be Friends
This is a song from 1933. If you had a clean shirt and could buy a woman a sandwich, you were a playa in 1933. And people then believed in romantic notions that would get you all the way into the Kitteh Infested Recluse Zone today.
 
2012-11-28 12:12:20 AM  

Beluga Heights: Is the friend zone a terminally bad thing?


Having female friends (which from the rest of your post is what it seems like you've mistaken the friendzone for) is of course a good thing. Having female friends you're only hanging around with because you hope the friendship becomes a relationship (ie- what the friendzone is) is creepy and manipulative.
 
2012-11-28 12:14:15 AM  
I friend zoned my bestest guy friend from high school. I really didn't want to ruin our friendship and told him so. We ended up getting married a few years later. Six years after that he tried to throw me off a fourth floor balcony.

Moral of the story, men you friend zone never forgive and will try to kill you one day. :-\
 
2012-11-28 12:14:18 AM  

Beluga Heights: I guess what my sleep deprived mind is coming around the long way of saying is, love is rare. Frighteningly so. To walk away from it because it's not everything you thought it would be in your head when you found it seems...unfortunate.


I love my dog. My dog loves me. I don't have sex with him, but then that isn't part of the owner/dog relationship.

I don't know your exact scenario, and maybe you and she have transcended the traditional bounds of what the rest of us call friendship. But from your post, it sounds goddamn depressing and pathetic.
 
2012-11-28 12:19:36 AM  

PillsHere: Every time this thread comes up there's a bunch of guys on here talking about how cruel and insensitive women/girls are for friend-zoning them - as if it's some intentional plot to use, manipulate, or hurt guys. It's really not. Now I'm sure there are some girls out there who take advantage of their friend-zoned guys or treat them poorly.


This. I'd never even heard of this "friend zone" shiat until I was quite old. I thought that guys actually liked being friends with women. I liked being friends with them. I didn't realize they were all looking at my ass. Then I was shocked, shocked, when they hit on me and ruined our "friendship."

So I don't have any male friends anymore. I'm long-time single anyway, so I don't really expect a man would want to hang around for long as just a friend anyway. At least when you get old, you know the score.

Ishkur: Friendzone is as old as the moon. When Harry Met Sally lampshaded it and that movie came out in 1989 FFS.
This is not a new revelation.


I don't think I saw that movie until I was 40.
 
2012-11-28 12:19:38 AM  

farkin_noob: I friend zoned my bestest guy friend from high school. I really didn't want to ruin our friendship and told him so. We ended up getting married a few years later. Six years after that he tried to throw me off a fourth floor balcony.

Moral of the story, men you friend zone never forgive and will try to kill you one day. :-\


Serves ya right!



/I really am keeding, especially if your serious
 
2012-11-28 12:22:48 AM  

Beluga Heights: It's been a long time since I've posted but anytime there's a mention of the "friend zone" I feel that, as a resident expert, I owe it to my fellow farkers to raise a question.

Is the friend zone a terminally bad thing?

For anyone reading this who is in a situation similar to mine (a sometimes excruciating friend zone scenario) I don't recommend carrying on if the relationship is only a constant source of humiliation and pain for you. By all means, do the heavy lifting: get out.

But I'm always reticent to think of being a woman's close friend (as a heterosexual male) as having little to no upside. Emotional intimacy is difficult, as I'm sure we've all experienced, and being loved, valued, trusted, and wanted is scarce. In my experience, sex has been immensely easier to get than genuine love. The kind of love that requires real vulnerability, real sacrifice, and has meant the most to me.

Sex is important, yes. And I won't pretend that lacking the sexual relationship with this other person has been deeply challenging and often rendered me sort of terrified and violated, but I can't see it as being more important than the emotional connection. Or that the emotional connection has to take on an inferior role just because of sex.

I guess what my sleep deprived mind is coming around the long way of saying is, love is rare. Frighteningly so. To walk away from it because it's not everything you thought it would be in your head when you found it seems...unfortunate.

Any thoughts?


Find yourself a girlfriend, that wants to sleep with you and friend zone her, actually if she's not hooking you and not hooking you up with girls well really, whats the use? Then shes not a friend and if your relationship with her makes you feel bad get out.
 
2012-11-28 12:29:33 AM  

Dougie AXP: farkin_noob: I friend zoned my bestest guy friend from high school. I really didn't want to ruin our friendship and told him so. We ended up getting married a few years later. Six years after that he tried to throw me off a fourth floor balcony.

Moral of the story, men you friend zone never forgive and will try to kill you one day. :-\

Serves ya right!



/I really am keeding, especially if your serious


I lol'd. And yes it happened, but not because of the whole friend zone thing. It was because I can't make sammiches. :-(

/or because of all the drinking after he killed a guy in a car accident.
 
2012-11-28 12:33:38 AM  

Soupysales: Beluga Heights: I guess what my sleep deprived mind is coming around the long way of saying is, love is rare. Frighteningly so. To walk away from it because it's not everything you thought it would be in your head when you found it seems...unfortunate.

I love my dog. My dog loves me. I don't have sex with him, but then that isn't part of the owner/dog relationship.

I don't know your exact scenario, and maybe you and she have transcended the traditional bounds of what the rest of us call friendship. But from your post, it sounds goddamn depressing and pathetic.


That's quite possible with the transcending traditional boundaries part.

As far as "goddamn depressing and pathetic" after rereading it has more to do with the wording than the actual scenario. But, truthfully, I didn't get you much to go on, so that's on me.

My larger point was about how, as a culture, we've entangled sex with love so much that when we see the absence of sex we automatically veto the proposition. And in my experience, it matters less than what it matters to others. And so I have my answer for myself. I was just curious if anyone else agreed with me on it.
 
2012-11-28 12:37:57 AM  

Gunther: Beluga Heights: Is the friend zone a terminally bad thing?

Having female friends (which from the rest of your post is what it seems like you've mistaken the friendzone for) is of course a good thing. Having female friends you're only hanging around with because you hope the friendship becomes a relationship (ie- what the friendzone is) is creepy and manipulative.


That makes sense. I guess I just see them as overlapping, somewhat, and maybe that's where my mistake came from?
 
2012-11-28 12:43:27 AM  

Beluga Heights: My larger point was about how, as a culture, we've entangled sex with love so much that when we see the absence of sex we automatically veto the proposition. And in my experience, it matters less than what it matters to others. And so I have my answer for myself. I was just curious if anyone else agreed with me on it.


From your initial comment: Sex is important, yes. And I won't pretend that lacking the sexual relationship with this other person has been deeply challenging and often rendered me sort of terrified and violated, but I can't see it as being more important than the emotional connection. Or that the emotional connection has to take on an inferior role just because of sex.

If you're completely satisfied with the emotional part, more power to you. But the quote above suggests that you're rationalizing in order justify your situation.
 
2012-11-28 12:44:21 AM  

EsteeFlwrPot: Ok the 'guy friend desperately trying to get out of the friendzone' thing is total crap. I have tons of guy friends and none of them are interested in me romantically. Everything is just a big fat myth based on a few unique situations here and there.


Hahahahahahahahahahaha! No.
 
2012-11-28 12:44:38 AM  
Rape, sadly, is sometimes an effective means of procreation. From a purely genetic standpoint, and only considering weeding out that one gene, it would be better if everyone who got pregnant by rape were to abort that pregnancy.

Sometimes it's good that we don't practice eugenics.
 
2012-11-28 12:47:11 AM  

HoratioGates: Rape, sadly, is sometimes an effective means of procreation. From a purely genetic standpoint, and only considering weeding out that one gene, it would be better if everyone who got pregnant by rape were to abort that pregnancy.

Sometimes it's good that we don't practice eugenics.


If we're going along that line of thinking, cannibalism is sometimes an effective means of combating starvation.
 
2012-11-28 12:53:02 AM  

cryinoutloud: This. I'd never even heard of this "friend zone" shiat until I was quite old. I thought that guys actually liked being friends with women. I liked being friends with them. I didn't realize they were all looking at my ass.


For guys, being friends with a woman doesn't mean you have to stop looking at her ass.
For us, being physically attracted to someone is almost completely separate from the idea of how we like them as a person. We're perfectly capable of simultaneously being "just friends" and liking the idea of banging you. Women I've met seem not to understand this idea very well, like it is some basic contradiction of logic.


Beluga Heights: Sex is important, yes. And I won't pretend that lacking the sexual relationship with this other person has been deeply challenging and often rendered me sort of terrified and violated, but I can't see it as being more important than the emotional connection. Or that the emotional connection has to take on an inferior role just because of sex.

I guess what my sleep deprived mind is coming around the long way of saying is, love is rare. Frighteningly so. To walk away from it because it's not everything you thought it would be in your head when you found it seems...unfortunate.

Any thoughts?


Yes, I have a thought.
If this person is your friend.. your friend with whom you have no sexual relationship at all... then why do you seemingly feel the need to dedicate yourself to it wholly? It sounds like there is a level of devotion here, simply due to your closeness as friends, that is completely out of proportion to the type of relationship that you have. Since she is only a friend, would she be upset if you dated some girl? I sure hope not, otherwise she's like a jealous girlfriend without even the benefit of sex.

Assuming that she wouldn't mind, why are you making yourself unavailable for a relationship that includes love AND sex? Like I said, you seem devoted to this person in a way that isn't reciprocated, and in such a way that you would come across to others as being unavailable. Perhaps love is hard to find for you simply because you're not leaving yourself open to the possibility of another, more complete relationship? If you found one it isn't like you'd be losing anything, your current "friend zone" girl would still be available for a close friendship, just without the part where it is excruciating for you.
 
2012-11-28 01:02:31 AM  

pxlboy: Kuroshin: taurusowner: CygnusDarius: Outcome one.

Guy: Sorry, but the relationship changed the moment I felt something for you. I can't really accept your friendship because of it. Good day *walk away*

This is what I've been doing. I use to get friendzoned HARD pretty often. You know how in 90's sitcoms like Family Matters, Step by Step, etc there would always be stories about the douchebag alpha male trying to hit on the girl but in the end the nerdy genuine sweet guy would win her heart? Yeah, I grew up believing all that. So it's not even that I didn't just wanna get laid (of course I did) it's that I literally thought that what girls really wanted was that sweet genuine guy to treat them like a person. I spent years believing this, even seeing zero results, I just kept believing it.
The last year or so, since I got back from my last deployment, has really been an eye opening time for me. I've had a lot more success with women and it's because I stopped letting myself get walked over. I do exactly what you say. I start flirting with a girl and so forth. But the minute she gives me a "I just want to be friends"/"I'm actually talking to another guy right now..." speech, I truthfully explain to her that I cannot be friends with girls. I end up liking them too much and it ends badly anyways. Might as well end it now. Most of them are shocked that I didn't just accept their "be my friend I can ask for favors" suggestion. But a small portion have actually texted me back maybe a week later and reconsidered, and now are considering dating/hooking up. And for the majority that don't and I never see again, we're both better off.

The problem with friendzoning is just as much the guys as the girls. Guys let it happen because we're so desperate to just be around that hot girl in class/work/etc. They know it, and use it to their advantage. If guys would just man up and lay their cards down "date me or don't be part of my life" I think there would be a lot more healthy relationships. ...

gym, 26 minutes, etc


No, this guy speaks the truth. Coming back from war gives you a brand new perspective. Get busy living or get busy dying, so to speak.

There comes a realization that our time here is very precious.

I want a relationship, and a best friend, but I'm not going to waste my time in the friendzone. My clock is ticking too. I don't want to be the 40 year old dad with a new born, or the retiree attending my daughter's high school graduation.

Friendzone relationships are not worth the time.
 
2012-11-28 01:03:22 AM  

Beluga Heights: My larger point was about how, as a culture, we've entangled sex with love so much that when we see the absence of sex we automatically veto the proposition. And in my experience, it matters less than what it matters to others. And so I have my answer for myself. I was just curious if anyone else agreed with me on it.


Can't say I do.
In our society it is generally OK to love more than one person, and is not generally okay to have sex with more than one person, so arguing that "love is more important than sex" is really kind of nonsense. You're presenting it as a choice between one or the other, or that you have to give up one to try and get the other, and that's a bunch of crap. There is also no part of your relationship that you couldn't have while you were in a loving AND sexual relationship with someone else. Nothing about your situation keeps you from pursuing someone else.

You already came out and said that sex was important, you're just trying your best to ignore it even though it clearly hurts you, so this really all sounds like a whole bunch of excuses for why you're too scared to venture out and find someone else. who gives you everything you need.
 
2012-11-28 01:04:33 AM  

CygnusDarius: Here's an enactment of how to avoid friendzones:

Guy: See, I really like you. Let's date, and see what happens

Girl: Sorry, but, I'd like us to remain friends

Here's the two outcomes.

Outcome one.

Guy: Sorry, but the relationship changed the moment I felt something for you. I can't really accept your friendship because of it. Good day *walk away*

Outcome two.

Guy: *flips finger/vocal insult, walks away*

It's gonna be a lonely road, but it's gonna give you one thing: Self-respect.

/Has been frienzoned in college
//It ain't pretty


The very term "friendzone" implies the woman owes you her affections or sex, and that by not wanting you, she has harmed you. She has somehow withheld something from you that you deserved or were entitled to because you think you "earned it" just by being around. The entire term is about YOUR ENTITLEMENT with no regard to the woman's independent agency. The fact this term is always applied to men about themselves shows what a big old ugly male entitlement concept it is.

You invested in her as a person only so long as you expected her to "reward" you at the end with her heart/body. As soon as there's "nothing in it for you" you bail. You do A, B, and C and she HAS to give you your prize or she's a biatch? So you never, in fact, respected or liked her as a person in her own right, it was all about what you could get for yourself and what she would do for you; a return on your investment.

I bet you think you're a nice guy.

/God forbid women should want to be friends with men
 
2012-11-28 01:18:08 AM  
You're drunk. It's 3am and your ears are ringing. Everyone left. You walk out into the cold on stiff legs, knowing you're going home alone. This is your song.
 
2012-11-28 01:22:14 AM  

if_i_really_have_to: The very term "friendzone" implies the woman owes you her affections or sex, and that by not wanting you, she has harmed you. She has somehow withheld something from you that you deserved or were entitled to because you think you "earned it" just by being around. The entire term is about YOUR ENTITLEMENT with no regard to the woman's independent agency.


That's a ridiculous pile of bullsh*t.


if_i_really_have_to: You invested in her as a person only so long as you expected her to "reward" you at the end with her heart/body. As soon as there's "nothing in it for you" you bail.


Holy f**k do you use a lot of loaded language. You could use those sentences to make anyone who is simply going out on a date sound like an evil manipulative bastard.

They're not looking for her to "reward" them with her body, they're looking for her to reciprocate their feelings of being interested in a relationship. And if you get to know someone for a little while and find yourself attracted to them in a way that they don't reciprocate, do you honestly think it is the better option to keep hanging around and pretending not to be interested? Are you under the impression that you can simply decide not to have feelings for someone?


if_i_really_have_to: You do A, B, and C and she HAS to give you your prize or she's a biatch?


No, who the hell said that? Only you, as near as I can tell.
 
2012-11-28 01:23:36 AM  

UsikFark: You're drunk. It's 3am and your ears are ringing. Everyone left. You walk out into the cold on stiff legs, knowing you're going home alone. This is your song.


I hate you so much right now.
 
2012-11-28 01:24:05 AM  
Isn't a Jezebel blog complaining about sexual mythology, being judgmental, and stereotyping kinda... hypocritical? I mean, given that their entire business model is to get advertising clicks by repeatedly spamming judgemental stereotypes from popular sexual mythology.
 
2012-11-28 01:28:05 AM  

if_i_really_have_to: The very term "friendzone" implies the woman owes you her affections or sex, and that by not wanting you, she has harmed you. She has somehow withheld something from you that you deserved or were entitled to because you think you "earned it" just by being around. The entire term is about YOUR ENTITLEMENT with no regard to the woman's independent agency. The fact this term is always applied to men about themselves shows what a big old ugly male entitlement concept it is.

You invested in her as a person only so long as you expected her to "reward" you at the end with her heart/body. As soon as there's "nothing in it for you" you bail. You do A, B, and C and she HAS to give you your prize or she's a biatch? So you never, in fact, respected or liked her as a person in her own right, it was all about what you could get for yourself and what she would do for you; a return on your investment.

I bet you think you're a nice guy.

/God forbid women should want to be friends with men



Yea pretty much, but I realized that early on that I could really only be friends with truly gay mean and truly straight women, anything else was just well...
 
2012-11-28 01:39:08 AM  

tinfoil-hat maggie: UsikFark: You're drunk. It's 3am and your ears are ringing. Everyone left. You walk out into the cold on stiff legs, knowing you're going home alone. This is your song.

I hate you so much right now.


Come on, screeching ballads are all a man needs sometimes. Besides, I put like $2 wortha quarters in the jukebox:

Link

Link

Link

Link

Link
 
2012-11-28 01:42:56 AM  

UsikFark: tinfoil-hat maggie: UsikFark: You're drunk. It's 3am and your ears are ringing. Everyone left. You walk out into the cold on stiff legs, knowing you're going home alone. This is your song.

I hate you so much right now.

Come on, screeching ballads are all a man needs sometimes. Besides, I put like $2 wortha quarters in the jukebox:

Link

Link

Link

Link

Link


One of these days I need to figure out how YouTube playlists work. And it might be fun to have a FARK extension that turned all YouTube links for any thread into a playlist.
 
2012-11-28 01:43:39 AM  

CygnusDarius: AverageAmericanGuy: What a dickish thing to do. You're willing to throw away a friendship because of your own selfishness?

It hurts, it reaaaaally hurts, did this only twice, but burning bridges -while sad and horrifying as it is- is the only way out. The last friendzone festered the friendship.


Agreed.

A lot of friendzoning is done by girls (I won't say 'women') who are users, the kind that have multiple male friends that are each useful for whatever emotional need they have at a particular moment. They may not be doing this totally consciously, as they probably got away with this behavior (without anyone calling them on it) for so long that it's their primary means of dealing with others. They don't notice it, and the revolving door of disposable guy friends keeps on turning.

Through experience I've learned that the moment you think you like a girl, ask her out; if she declines in any way, be cordial but keep her at arm's length and move on.

Dating and courtship are forgotten arts, so to any self-identified young men I say: stop thinking the time and effort you're putting in are working - they're not; to her you're just a means to an end.
 
2012-11-28 01:45:57 AM  

tinfoil-hat maggie: Yea pretty much, but I realized that early on that I could really only be friends with truly gay mean and truly straight women, anything else was just well...


I think this Freudian slip would suggest you can only be friends with truly gay mean women and truly straight women regardless of how mean or friendly they are but cannot be friends with men of any kind. Maybe due to misandry, or your desire to bed them and fear of being rejected or worse, friendzoned.

Or maybe not, perhaps it's just a typo.
 
2012-11-28 01:49:22 AM  

if_i_really_have_to: The very term "friendzone" implies the woman owes you her affections or sex, and that by not wanting you, she has harmed you. She has somehow withheld something from you that you deserved or were entitled to because you think you "earned it" just by being around. The entire term is about YOUR ENTITLEMENT with no regard to the woman's independent agency. The fact this term is always applied to men about themselves shows what a big old ugly male entitlement concept it is.

You invested in her as a person only so long as you expected her to "reward" you at the end with her heart/body. As soon as there's "nothing in it for you" you bail. You do A, B, and C and she HAS to give you your prize or she's a biatch? So you never, in fact, respected or liked her as a person in her own right, it was all about what you could get for yourself and what she would do for you; a return on your investment.



Yes. This is true. This is all true. Men have no use for women other than sexual intercourse and every relationship a man has with a woman is like a biological vending machine that he puts kindness quarters into until sex comes out.

So....knowing this....what are you going to do about it?
 
2012-11-28 01:50:41 AM  
Ah, a Jezebel link mentioning men.
No good can come of this.

i.imgur.com
 
2012-11-28 01:53:36 AM  
Link

It's just not the same until you can see how wired Young was.
 
2012-11-28 01:55:32 AM  

UsikFark: tinfoil-hat maggie: UsikFark: You're drunk. It's 3am and your ears are ringing. Everyone left. You walk out into the cold on stiff legs, knowing you're going home alone. This is your song.

I hate you so much right now.

Come on, screeching ballads are all a man needs sometimes. Besides, I put like $2 wortha quarters in the jukebox:

Link

Link

Link

Link

Link


I'd ad this one to the list Link
 
2012-11-28 02:06:39 AM  

Tellingthem: UsikFark: tinfoil-hat maggie: UsikFark: You're drunk. It's 3am and your ears are ringing. Everyone left. You walk out into the cold on stiff legs, knowing you're going home alone. This is your song.

I hate you so much right now.

Come on, screeching ballads are all a man needs sometimes. Besides, I put like $2 wortha quarters in the jukebox:

Link

Link

Link

Link

Link

I'd ad this one to the list Link


Too new. Needs spandex or hair.
 
2012-11-28 02:20:25 AM  

RoyBatty: tinfoil-hat maggie: Yea pretty much, but I realized that early on that I could really only be friends with truly gay mean and truly straight women, anything else was just well...

I think this Freudian slip would suggest you can only be friends with truly gay mean women and truly straight women regardless of how mean or friendly they are but cannot be friends with men of any kind. Maybe due to misandry, or your desire to bed them and fear of being rejected or worse, friendzoned.

Or maybe not, perhaps it's just a typo.


Sorry the "gay mean" was supposed to be gay men and well I'm not saying I;m all that, it's just as far as choosing real friends that aren't trying to get into me pants or I'm not trying to get into theirs well as a bi-girl for just friends their aren't many options. Granted I do believe it's possible to have friendships with people you would sleep with .
 
2012-11-28 02:21:50 AM  

dopekitty74: Let me tell you a story about two guys, Dan and Stu

Dan is 32, short, a biatchubby, with glasses and a bad leg that makes him limp a bit. Wears alot of tie-dyed shirts and generally has very little fashion sense.

Stu is 34, tall, lean and while slightly balding, not unattractive and has a bigger dick than Dan.

Dan has had flings and relationships and now a marriage with a like-minded woman.

Stu has never had a serious relationship in his life, doesn't have a clue how to talk to women and when they do show any interest at all, clings to them like they were the last floating timber of a sinking ship.

By the way, both of them are huge nerds, into video games and other various nerdy endeavours

it all comes down to some guys have social skills to deal with women, and some don't

/Dan's wife


The whole "hasn't had a serious relationship in his life" thing is an impossible barrier, one of the many I deal with.

I was a freakishly late bloomer, thus was about 8 years behind my peers in wanting to figure out what the fark you do when you realize you like someone. So I'm completely baffled by how and why people get together; it's the hardest thing I've ever done, and never really successfully. Most relationships fizzle out fast because I'm absolutely clueless, and the older I get the more of a problem it becomes. I think women sense that, or it's just really obvious, in me and it just keeps getting more difficult to sustain a relationship beyond a few weeks.

I move slowly because I have no idea what I'm doing, and women just don't have that kind of patience. Hence I'm pretty adept at reading pre-friendzoning signals and bail out before that happens or I completely humiliate myself (which I've done way too many times).
 
2012-11-28 02:25:24 AM  

UsikFark: tinfoil-hat maggie: UsikFark: You're drunk. It's 3am and your ears are ringing. Everyone left. You walk out into the cold on stiff legs, knowing you're going home alone. This is your song.

I hate you so much right now.

Come on, screeching ballads are all a man needs sometimes. Besides, I put like $2 wortha quarters in the jukebox:

Link

Link

Link

Link

Link


Those days are over thank the goddess but You and your friend well : )
 
2012-11-28 02:33:02 AM  

Telos: Gunther: Telos: I think both men and women are hard-coded to want more than one sexual partner

Depends on the person; some people are naturally monogamous, some aren't. There's nothing wrong with either as long as you're honest about it.

Assuming that everyone is like you and only pretends not to think the same way as you is possibly the worst mistake you can make, not just about sex but about everything.

I think "naturally monogamous" is really, really rare. Like I said, if they are really monogamous why are they drooling over a magazine cover? Or entertaining fantasies about other people? How many married people spice up their sex lives by role-playing as different people?

I don't think everyone thinks like me, but I DO think a lot of people sublimate their desires in the face of culture... and that we aren't a terribly monogamous species. How many people do you know that have only had one sexual partner in their entire lives? If you do know some, how many of them did that completely by choice? Then how many weren't highly religious?

I'm betting the answers to those questions trend towards 0.


I've had one sexual partner my entire life. Entirely by choice. Not particularly religious either. I just really hit it off with my first girlfriend.

/25, been dating since we were 18.
//We're marrying next year
 
2012-11-28 02:34:27 AM  

UsikFark: Tellingthem: UsikFark: tinfoil-hat maggie: UsikFark: You're drunk. It's 3am and your ears are ringing. Everyone left. You walk out into the cold on stiff legs, knowing you're going home alone. This is your song.

I hate you so much right now.

Come on, screeching ballads are all a man needs sometimes. Besides, I put like $2 wortha quarters in the jukebox:

Link

Link

Link

Link

Link

I'd ad this one to the list Link

Too new. Needs spandex or hair.


how about this?
Link
 
2012-11-28 02:36:16 AM  

kbotc: I've had one sexual partner my entire life. Entirely by choice. Not particularly religious either. I just really hit it off with my first girlfriend.

/25, been dating since we were 18.
//We're marrying next year


That's nice.

How many guys do you suppose she's farked?
 
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