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(Jezebel)   "The Casanova myth is so deeply ingrained that people are convinced that boys who claim to want relationships rather than casual sex are either incredibly rare or full of crap." or are trying to claw their way out of the "Friend Zone"   (jezebel.com) divider line 388
    More: Interesting, Giacomo Casanova, friend zones, interpersonal relationship, cultural landscape, sexual excitement, Challenging Casanova, A Natural History of Rape, Petraeus  
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10236 clicks; posted to Main » on 27 Nov 2012 at 8:46 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-11-27 09:31:06 PM

taurusowner: CygnusDarius: Outcome one.

Guy: Sorry, but the relationship changed the moment I felt something for you. I can't really accept your friendship because of it. Good day *walk away*

This is what I've been doing. I use to get friendzoned HARD pretty often. You know how in 90's sitcoms like Family Matters, Step by Step, etc there would always be stories about the douchebag alpha male trying to hit on the girl but in the end the nerdy genuine sweet guy would win her heart? Yeah, I grew up believing all that. So it's not even that I didn't just wanna get laid (of course I did) it's that I literally thought that what girls really wanted was that sweet genuine guy to treat them like a person. I spent years believing this, even seeing zero results, I just kept believing it.
The last year or so, since I got back from my last deployment, has really been an eye opening time for me. I've had a lot more success with women and it's because I stopped letting myself get walked over. I do exactly what you say. I start flirting with a girl and so forth. But the minute she gives me a "I just want to be friends"/"I'm actually talking to another guy right now..." speech, I truthfully explain to her that I cannot be friends with girls. I end up liking them too much and it ends badly anyways. Might as well end it now. Most of them are shocked that I didn't just accept their "be my friend I can ask for favors" suggestion. But a small portion have actually texted me back maybe a week later and reconsidered, and now are considering dating/hooking up. And for the majority that don't and I never see again, we're both better off.

The problem with friendzoning is just as much the guys as the girls. Guys let it happen because we're so desperate to just be around that hot girl in class/work/etc. They know it, and use it to their advantage. If guys would just man up and lay their cards down "date me or don't be part of my life" I think there would be a lot more healthy relationships. But it takes so long for individual guys to figure that out. It took me like a decade. We've been told for so long by media that the really hot popular girls want a sweet genuine honest awkward best-friend boyfriend, so tons of guys keep waiting for that to finally happen. And it (almost) never does.


And the girls who actually want that sweet, awkward boyfriend? Not hot, so nobody wants them.

Dudes aren't the only people who get friendzoned, alas.
 
2012-11-27 09:31:31 PM

Kuroshin: taurusowner: CygnusDarius: Outcome one.

Guy: Sorry, but the relationship changed the moment I felt something for you. I can't really accept your friendship because of it. Good day *walk away*

This is what I've been doing. I use to get friendzoned HARD pretty often. You know how in 90's sitcoms like Family Matters, Step by Step, etc there would always be stories about the douchebag alpha male trying to hit on the girl but in the end the nerdy genuine sweet guy would win her heart? Yeah, I grew up believing all that. So it's not even that I didn't just wanna get laid (of course I did) it's that I literally thought that what girls really wanted was that sweet genuine guy to treat them like a person. I spent years believing this, even seeing zero results, I just kept believing it.
The last year or so, since I got back from my last deployment, has really been an eye opening time for me. I've had a lot more success with women and it's because I stopped letting myself get walked over. I do exactly what you say. I start flirting with a girl and so forth. But the minute she gives me a "I just want to be friends"/"I'm actually talking to another guy right now..." speech, I truthfully explain to her that I cannot be friends with girls. I end up liking them too much and it ends badly anyways. Might as well end it now. Most of them are shocked that I didn't just accept their "be my friend I can ask for favors" suggestion. But a small portion have actually texted me back maybe a week later and reconsidered, and now are considering dating/hooking up. And for the majority that don't and I never see again, we're both better off.

The problem with friendzoning is just as much the guys as the girls. Guys let it happen because we're so desperate to just be around that hot girl in class/work/etc. They know it, and use it to their advantage. If guys would just man up and lay their cards down "date me or don't be part of my life" I think there would be a lot more healthy relationships. ...


gym, 26 minutes, etc
 
2012-11-27 09:32:46 PM
Note to self: Read farker's profile before replying in humorous fashion.


/sigh
 
2012-11-27 09:33:34 PM

pxlboy: Kuroshin: taurusowner: CygnusDarius: Outcome one.

Guy: Sorry, but the relationship changed the moment I felt something for you. I can't really accept your friendship because of it. Good day *walk away*

This is what I've been doing. I use to get friendzoned HARD pretty often. You know how in 90's sitcoms like Family Matters, Step by Step, etc there would always be stories about the douchebag alpha male trying to hit on the girl but in the end the nerdy genuine sweet guy would win her heart? Yeah, I grew up believing all that. So it's not even that I didn't just wanna get laid (of course I did) it's that I literally thought that what girls really wanted was that sweet genuine guy to treat them like a person. I spent years believing this, even seeing zero results, I just kept believing it.
The last year or so, since I got back from my last deployment, has really been an eye opening time for me. I've had a lot more success with women and it's because I stopped letting myself get walked over. I do exactly what you say. I start flirting with a girl and so forth. But the minute she gives me a "I just want to be friends"/"I'm actually talking to another guy right now..." speech, I truthfully explain to her that I cannot be friends with girls. I end up liking them too much and it ends badly anyways. Might as well end it now. Most of them are shocked that I didn't just accept their "be my friend I can ask for favors" suggestion. But a small portion have actually texted me back maybe a week later and reconsidered, and now are considering dating/hooking up. And for the majority that don't and I never see again, we're both better off.

The problem with friendzoning is just as much the guys as the girls. Guys let it happen because we're so desperate to just be around that hot girl in class/work/etc. They know it, and use it to their advantage. If guys would just man up and lay their cards down "date me or don't be part of my life" I think there would be a lot more healthy relat ...


oops, wrong post.

blipponaut: Sex doesn't interest me like it did when I was in college. In fact, casual sex has never interested me. I need that mental stimulation along with the physical. Getting laid is not a challenge, it's finding someone worth wanting to lay. I can go out and get laid fairly easy, but it's just not worth the energy and time. I'd rather do other, more meaningful, things.


*This* is what I meant to reply to.

Don't you have to be at the gym, etc?
 
2012-11-27 09:35:29 PM

AverageAmericanGuy: Thisbymaster: Friendzone isn't a friendship, it is master and slave. That sort of relationship is destructive to the slave while the woman couldn't care less and will continue to abuse the slave because they see nothing wrong with it. It is best to get your feelings out in the open and be done with it. It forces you to stop lying to yourself, to face the reality that you can't earn attraction no matter what you do.

Sorry to hear that your female friends are so terrible to you.

Or that you have such a low opinion of women.

Whichever. Sorry to hear it.


Give it up. She's not going to sleep with you.

Wait...who are you White Knighting again?

Seriously. You're calling out people for being honest with themselves and others. Not everybody needs to be friends with every last person they meet. If there's attraction there, it causes trouble for at least one of the people involved. Life is too short and there are too many other people in the world to bother clinging to that person who makes you feel uncomfortable.
 
2012-11-27 09:35:37 PM

Butthurted: bleeding_heart_fascist: [www.manipudating.com image 580x307]
Link

This is by far the most import work ever published on the internet. Just because it is funny does not make it any less true.


I tried to read it - got as far as the pie charts and gave up at the badly-disguised misogyny claiming to be based on actual research instead of the writer's persecution complex.

/it's not that funny either.
 
2012-11-27 09:36:03 PM

Need_MindBleach: If you grew balls and made your intentions known from the start, you wouldn't wind up in the "friendzone."


Some people never learn to flirt/make their intentions clear. They only know how to treat women like friends.

Or so I hear. Real tragedy, supposedly.
 
2012-11-27 09:36:15 PM

balisane: And the girls who actually want that sweet, awkward boyfriend? Not hot, so nobody wants them.

Dudes aren't the only people who get friendzoned, alas.


Oh, I've seen it. It's terrible, once I almost did it, recoiled in horror when I realized it. So we dated a while, and it was, surprisingly, great. However, she got a scholarship abroad in Canada. We talked for a while in Skype, and then she found someone there. You just have to let go, sometimes.
 
2012-11-27 09:36:29 PM

swahnhennessy: RoyBatty: But I do know your characterizations of him are wrong and make me suspect you.

You're coming off a little obsessed on the subject. To say nothing of paranoid.


Really?

Because I posted four pretty obnoxious, misogynistic, pathological things that he has done, Coco Ebert asked me if he hadn't owned up to that, I pointed out no, he hadn't, she said she didn't really know the guy but doubted my explanation of why feminists liked him, I said fine, google it, and that makes me obsessed and paranoid?

Okay.
 
2012-11-27 09:37:36 PM

pxlboy: gym, 26 minutes, etc


pxlboy: oops, wrong post.


LOL, heh, I was wondering about that. :)
 
2012-11-27 09:38:24 PM
Am I the only one who thought it was an interesting article? You hit 25 or so, and one night stands suddenly seem like too much work.

RoyBatty: Hugo Schwyzer


Yeah yeah; the guy is an astonishingly creepy douche who's figured out he can take advantage of his female students and avoid losing his pro-feminism cred by blaming "the patriarchy" for it. He wrote the article, but he didn't have anything to do with the study or with the book.
 
2012-11-27 09:39:36 PM

Seth'n'Spectrum: Need_MindBleach: If you grew balls and made your intentions known from the start, you wouldn't wind up in the "friendzone."

Some people never learn to flirt/make their intentions clear. They only know how to treat women like friends.

Or so I hear. Real tragedy, supposedly.


I think I am one of those people who is completely incapable of flirting. Just can't fathom it. It's easier to imagine non-existence than to flirt.
 
2012-11-27 09:40:01 PM
Ok the 'guy friend desperately trying to get out of the friendzone' thing is total crap. I have tons of guy friends and none of them are interested in me romantically. Everything is just a big fat myth based on a few unique situations here and there.
 
2012-11-27 09:40:44 PM

Gunther: Am I the only one who thought it was an interesting article? You hit 25 or so, and one night stands suddenly seem like too much work.


This is Fark. How many one-night-stands do you think the average Farker has under their belt?

/I keed
//but only a little
 
2012-11-27 09:41:54 PM

Kuroshin: pxlboy: gym, 26 minutes, etc

pxlboy: oops, wrong post.

LOL, heh, I was wondering about that. :)


The page refreshed and I clicked the wrong button. Anyway, it's all in good fun.

I was the friendzoned betafag (in the 4chan parlance) in high school. I got over it and realized that anyone willing to keep me at arms' length like that doesn't respect me and isn't worth my time.
 
2012-11-27 09:42:52 PM
Exactly how much action am I going to get if I leave my copy of "A Natural History of Rape" out on the table?
 
2012-11-27 09:42:58 PM

EsteeFlwrPot: Ok the 'guy friend desperately trying to get out of the friendzone' thing is total crap. I have tons of guy friends and none of them are interested in me romantically. Everything is just a big fat myth based on a few unique situations here and there.


You've been lurking for a while, have you?.
 
2012-11-27 09:43:07 PM

Kuroshin: Gunther: Am I the only one who thought it was an interesting article? You hit 25 or so, and one night stands suddenly seem like too much work.

This is Fark. How many one-night-stands do you think the average Farker has under their belt?

/I keed
//but only a little


We're not all basement-dwelling neckbeards lacking basic hygiene and the ability to communicate with the opposite (or same) sex.
 
2012-11-27 09:43:11 PM
My problem with the dreaded Friendzone was this: In school , I was terribly shy. I had no illusions that my female friends wanted anything more than friendship, so I never made a move. It wasn't until I started hearing things like this:

blog.mh.co.za

that I even CONSIDERED asking them out. I had no concept of the Friendzone. I thought they actually liked me. So I'd work up the courage to ask them out, and get shot down. Meanwhile, they go off and get with a guy who treats them like crap.

Now, I can be friends with women without trying to break through the barrier. I was friends with a gorgeous woman I worked with, and never made a move because I was married and she was way out of my league. She later thanked me for being one of the only guys she knew that didn't try to get into her pants.
 
2012-11-27 09:43:24 PM
Waffle waffle waffle.
Never have I seen so many words that said so little.
 
2012-11-27 09:43:37 PM
Hugo Schwyzer, eh? Well I guess Ira Einhorn wasn't available for comment.
 
2012-11-27 09:44:06 PM

Shedim: Butthurted: bleeding_heart_fascist: [www.manipudating.com image 580x307]
Link

This is by far the most import work ever published on the internet. Just because it is funny does not make it any less true.

I tried to read it - got as far as the pie charts and gave up at the badly-disguised misogyny claiming to be based on actual research instead of the writer's persecution complex.

/it's not that funny either.


Wow, rough day there pal? Well, relax, sit back. You know, it's not all peer reviews and serious bid'ness here. You didn't like the link? That's fine, just have a nice calming cup of tea and wait a few minutes. I am sure something will come along and appeal to your higher standards. In the mean time, try to remember, the next time you don't find something as funny as someone else, feel free to close the link and shut the fark up. If you still feel the need to proclaim your profound sense of disappointment, by all means do so, in fact I will give you a few minutes right now while I go look for the Fark I give about your opinion.

/Nope, it's not here
 
2012-11-27 09:44:26 PM

CygnusDarius: EsteeFlwrPot: Ok the 'guy friend desperately trying to get out of the friendzone' thing is total crap. I have tons of guy friends and none of them are interested in me romantically. Everything is just a big fat myth based on a few unique situations here and there.

You've been lurking for a while, have you?.


Based on what I have seen her post in years past, I'd not sure if she's lying or is really that oblivious.
 
2012-11-27 09:45:14 PM
I've had this problem with woman before. When I was younger I had trouble with getting out of the friends zone with woman. When I got older I had trouble out of the friends with benefits zone with woman.

Sounds silly to say and I've got guy friends who are absolutely baffled why I would want any different. Funnily enough my female friends seem to better understand the whole friends with benefits idea better. One explained it to me as 'you find a guy that you feel safe with and enjoy having sex with, your going to keep going back to that guy, even if your not ready for a relationship'.
 
2012-11-27 09:45:26 PM
You know what, I always used to think I wanted a relationship. I have one now, and sometimes all I can think about is what I missed out on by not dating. I think both men and women are hard-coded to want more than one sexual partner. Everyone claims monogamy, but they also drool over celebrities. If we were truly monogamous no one would have lists of celebrities they can sleep with, because no one would want to sleep with anyone but their partner.

To all the people saying you should accept the friend zone: It's debatable really. The options are:

1) Accept it. Keep longing for her every time she's around. Keep getting sad when she leaves. Eventually do something stupid that ruins the friendship.

2) End the friendship. This is not a tantrum, as someone suggested earlier. Ending a friendship for any reason is a decision, and if a person thinks they will be happier without a friendship then it is actually the responsible choice to make.

3) This is the hard one, but it's the "non-dickish" way to handle it without the pain. Stop desiring the woman, then you can remain her friend without the pain.

The problem with 3 is that it can be really difficult. The type of man who gets friend zoned is NOT the type of man who has a lot of sexual partners. He likes someone, and that's all he knows. The person who can stop desiring that women is the kind of guy who can just pick up the next girl he sees. There's no longing because he moves on.

Oh wait, here we are reading an article about how men supposedly want only one partner. An article stating most men are the kind of guy who gets friend-zoned, longs after a woman, and never gets anywhere and only gets hurt.

In other words, most guys really only have options 1 or 2. If they have the self-confidence for 3 they aren't friend zoned, because they can easily and happily just move on.
 
2012-11-27 09:45:52 PM

Butthurted: Wow, rough day there pal? Well, relax, sit back. You know, it's not all peer reviews and serious bid'ness here. You didn't like the link? That's fine, just have a nice calming cup of tea and wait a few minutes. I am sure something will come along and appeal to your higher standards. In the mean time, try to remember, the next time you don't find something as funny as someone else, feel free to close the link and shut the fark up. If you still feel the need to proclaim your profound sense of disappointment, by all means do so, in fact I will give you a few minutes right now while I go look for the Fark I give about your opinion.

/Nope, it's not here


OK, I laughed at that. Thanks.
 
2012-11-27 09:46:29 PM

AverageAmericanGuy: What a dickish thing to do. You're willing to throw away a friendship because of your own selfishness?


Aren't they also willing to do so? Selfishly keeping their sex to themselves instead of giving it up to save the friendship? If they don't care, why should I?
 
2012-11-27 09:46:36 PM

Seth'n'Spectrum: Some people never learn to flirt/make their intentions clear. They only know how to treat women like friends.

Or so I hear. Real tragedy, supposedly.


This. Women are fantastic. I like to think they feel the same way about us. But my guy friends want to shoot guns, build shiat, play video games and be goodhearted assholes to each other all while drinking. They also used to like to chase women, but nearly all are married now. Most (note: I'm sure there are ladies out there who break the mold) of the women I've known are not into these same activities. We can work together, even enjoy each other's company, but I'd hesitate to call any of them my friends. Does that make me a misogynist?
 
2012-11-27 09:46:38 PM

EsteeFlwrPot: Ok the 'guy friend desperately trying to get out of the friendzone' thing is total crap. I have tons of guy friends and none of them are interested in me romantically. Everything is just a big fat myth based on a few unique situations here and there.


9/10.
 
2012-11-27 09:46:41 PM

EsteeFlwrPot: Ok the 'guy friend desperately trying to get out of the friendzone' thing is total crap. I have tons of guy friends and none of them are interested in me romantically. Everything is just a big fat myth based on a few unique situations here and there.


In my humble experience there's been plenty of female friends I'd love to get out of the "friendzone" with, but then after a few weeks of whoring around I'd want to go right back to being "just friends."

For me to want a relationship a woman needs to be laid back, nerdy, appreciate me being a huge nerd, have an interest in at least 1 sport and not be too far from me politically. Honestly at that point I'm pretty flexible with looks.
 
2012-11-27 09:46:48 PM

Shedim: Butthurted: Wow, rough day there pal? Well, relax, sit back. You know, it's not all peer reviews and serious bid'ness here. You didn't like the link? That's fine, just have a nice calming cup of tea and wait a few minutes. I am sure something will come along and appeal to your higher standards. In the mean time, try to remember, the next time you don't find something as funny as someone else, feel free to close the link and shut the fark up. If you still feel the need to proclaim your profound sense of disappointment, by all means do so, in fact I will give you a few minutes right now while I go look for the Fark I give about your opinion.

/Nope, it's not here

OK, I laughed at that. Thanks.


My work is done here..
 
2012-11-27 09:46:52 PM

pxlboy: CygnusDarius: EsteeFlwrPot: Ok the 'guy friend desperately trying to get out of the friendzone' thing is total crap. I have tons of guy friends and none of them are interested in me romantically. Everything is just a big fat myth based on a few unique situations here and there.

You've been lurking for a while, have you?.

Based on what I have seen her post in years past, I'd not sure if she's lying or is really that oblivious.


Well, I haven't seen her in a while, that's why I said that.
 
2012-11-27 09:47:34 PM
I've never been Friend Zoned, but I have been Roomate Zoned. It's easy to get through the Roomate Zone, it just takes alcohol. You do need to be good at finding a new place to live though...
 
2012-11-27 09:47:43 PM
Nadie_AZ:
img2.owned.com

"Jenni" might be asexual, but that doesn't mean they don't have sex. Or maybe he has her permission to be polyamorous. There are some unique relationships out there.

Ishkur:
And they must be lascivious, nasty, filthy little cum dumpsters willing to deepthroat a full load or no guy will pay any attention to them. It's all very cruel and atavistic and probably would not be so extreme without such easy access to hardcore porn as part of one's sexual education.

Who exactly are these semiadolescent bogans? Even as a stupid undersexed teen I knew that porn and actual sex were gratifying in different ways and that most stuff in porn was unlikely to be replicated IRL. Then again I wouldn't have raped anyone either, a qualification many teenage boys cannot claim.
 
2012-11-27 09:47:49 PM

CygnusDarius: pxlboy: CygnusDarius: EsteeFlwrPot: Ok the 'guy friend desperately trying to get out of the friendzone' thing is total crap. I have tons of guy friends and none of them are interested in me romantically. Everything is just a big fat myth based on a few unique situations here and there.

You've been lurking for a while, have you?.

Based on what I have seen her post in years past, I'd not sure if she's lying or is really that oblivious.

Well, I haven't seen her in a while, that's why I said that.


Good point. And here I thought she was gone from Fark for good..
 
2012-11-27 09:49:10 PM

Gunther: Am I the only one who thought it was an interesting article? You hit 25 or so, and one night stands suddenly seem like too much work.


Its cuz your testosterone drops severely after age 25, and you feel less rambunctious about getting laid. Also, you've more than likely been around the block a few times so the female vaginal area no longer has the same mystique as it did when you were 16, so you can afford to be choosey (and know when to back away from women who aren't worth it).

Or, as Neil Stephenson put it: "Until a man is twenty-five, he still thinks, every so often, that under the right circumstances he could be the baddest motherfarker in the world. If I moved to a martial-arts monastery in China and studied real hard for ten years. If my family was wiped out by Colombian drug dealers and I swore myself to revenge. If I got a fatal disease, had one year to live, and devoted it to wiping out street crime. If I just dropped out and devoted my life to being bad."
 
2012-11-27 09:49:50 PM

Occam's Disposable Razor: Seth'n'Spectrum: Some people never learn to flirt/make their intentions clear. They only know how to treat women like friends.

Or so I hear. Real tragedy, supposedly.

This. Women are fantastic. I like to think they feel the same way about us. But my guy friends want to shoot guns, build shiat, play video games and be goodhearted assholes to each other all while drinking. They also used to like to chase women, but nearly all are married now. Most (note: I'm sure there are ladies out there who break the mold) of the women I've known are not into these same activities. We can work together, even enjoy each other's company, but I'd hesitate to call any of them my friends. Does that make me a misogynist?


Separate but equal, right? Gimme a farking break.

I used to think Fark was a place where rational people came to joke around, but apparently it's been overrun by misogynists and assholes.
 
2012-11-27 09:51:24 PM

pxlboy: Kuroshin: Gunther: Am I the only one who thought it was an interesting article? You hit 25 or so, and one night stands suddenly seem like too much work.

This is Fark. How many one-night-stands do you think the average Farker has under their belt?

/I keed
//but only a little

We're not all basement-dwelling neckbeards lacking basic hygiene and the ability to communicate with the opposite (or same) sex.


THIS DOES NOT FIT THE NARRATIVE! ABORT! ABORT!

/besides, that's Reddit
 
2012-11-27 09:52:18 PM
I'm getting a kick, etc.

I got friend zoned in a serious cohabiting relationship.

Inevitably, it ended badly...still reeling.

/CSB
 
2012-11-27 09:53:22 PM

wedun: what? Hello no. Your an adult, not a petulant child. You don't throw a tantrum because you didn't get what you wanted.


Look, if you go to the store to buy some oranges, and they don't have any oranges, do you leave or do you wait around hoping that someday they'll have oranges? If you're a man, you go to another store and get some oranges. If you're a wimp-ass pussy you wait around with a hangdog sheepish expression on your face hinting around that you want oranges for months until they get sick of it and kick you out. Which would you rather be? Your choice.
 
2012-11-27 09:53:53 PM

AverageAmericanGuy: I used to think Fark was a place where rational people came to joke around, but apparently it's been overrun by misogynists and assholes.


Those are the Fark Independents of the Politics Tab. Let us not summon them here, lest they show up.
 
2012-11-27 09:54:20 PM
I choose bananas.
 
2012-11-27 09:54:30 PM

AverageAmericanGuy: Occam's Disposable Razor: Seth'n'Spectrum: Some people never learn to flirt/make their intentions clear. They only know how to treat women like friends.

Or so I hear. Real tragedy, supposedly.

This. Women are fantastic. I like to think they feel the same way about us. But my guy friends want to shoot guns, build shiat, play video games and be goodhearted assholes to each other all while drinking. They also used to like to chase women, but nearly all are married now. Most (note: I'm sure there are ladies out there who break the mold) of the women I've known are not into these same activities. We can work together, even enjoy each other's company, but I'd hesitate to call any of them my friends. Does that make me a misogynist?

Separate but equal, right? Gimme a farking break.

I used to think Fark was a place where rational people came to joke around, but apparently it's been overrun by misogynists and assholes.


Account created: 2010-11-15 17:56:17

You haven't been around long enough. It's always been this way.

/been lurking since 2000
//spent most of my time over at /.
 
2012-11-27 09:57:29 PM

untaken_name: wedun: what? Hello no. Your an adult, not a petulant child. You don't throw a tantrum because you didn't get what you wanted.

Look, if you go to the store to buy some oranges, and they don't have any oranges, do you leave or do you wait around hoping that someday they'll have oranges? If you're a man, you go to another store and get some oranges. If you're a wimp-ass pussy you wait around with a hangdog sheepish expression on your face hinting around that you want oranges for months until they get sick of it and kick you out. Which would you rather be? Your choice.


golfclap.gif

Besides, the worse thing you can do to a woman -and yourself- is to be a dick. We've all seem them, and the last thing the world needs is another Patrick Bateman.
 
2012-11-27 09:59:51 PM

thesloppy: Exactly how much action am I going to get if I leave my copy of "A Natural History of Rape" out on the table?


Put 20 locks on the front door. Lock some, leave others open.
Put bars on the windows.
Hide anything that could be used as a weapon.

Watch her freak out trying to get out.
Trying to figure out which way to turn the locks.
"Awww, Did you want me to unlock the door for you?"

Then you find out she has a black belt.
And she has a penis.
 
2012-11-27 10:00:19 PM

untaken_name: wedun: what? Hello no. Your an adult, not a petulant child. You don't throw a tantrum because you didn't get what you wanted.

Look, if you go to the store to buy some oranges, and they don't have any oranges, do you leave or do you wait around hoping that someday they'll have oranges? If you're a man, you go to another store and get some oranges. If you're a wimp-ass pussy you wait around with a hangdog sheepish expression on your face hinting around that you want oranges for months until they get sick of it and kick you out. Which would you rather be? Your choice.


You have a point, but what if you really like the oranges the first store has? I mean what if the first store has huge, juicy, ripe oranges and the other stores have shriveled, desiccated oranges with nasty seeds and. gasp, bugs? Sometimes, when you find the right oranges, you really don't want another store's oranges. I mean even if you decided to go to store two and purchase their inferior, pulpy, moldy oranges, you would never really enjoy them because you would be thinking about store one's oranges the whole time. Than a few weeks later, as you are walking down the street with the nasty, sour, unripe orange bits still stuck between your teeth, you will see another guy, a real scum bag guy that you knew from that time you went to a party with your cousin in that town 20 minutes from your town, and he will be walking out of store one with YOUR ORANGES!!!! Sometimes you have to be patient in order to get the oranges that you want.
 
2012-11-27 10:00:39 PM

EsteeFlwrPot: Ok the 'guy friend desperately trying to get out of the friendzone' thing is total crap. I have tons of guy friends and none of them are interested in me romantically. Everything is just a big fat myth based on a few unique situations here and there.


Not likely. Even if they aren't _romantically_ interested in you they would like to have sex with you. Unless they are gay, and even then they'd probably go for it during a dry patch.

Point is, just because you don't KNOW they are interested in you doesn't mean they aren't interested. Just means they haven't told you for whatever reason.
 
2012-11-27 10:01:39 PM
Every time this thread comes up there's a bunch of guys on here talking about how cruel and insensitive women/girls are for friend-zoning them - as if it's some intentional plot to use, manipulate, or hurt guys. It's really not. Now I'm sure there are some girls out there who take advantage of their friend-zoned guys or treat them poorly. However, I think in a lot of these situations girls actually think that the guy just wants to be their friend, or they're at least hoping he doesn't like her (assuming she doesn't like him). When the big reveal happens where he tells her he likes her then she gives him the option of being a friend or being nothing. That isn't cruel, that's being honest with you. She doesn't like you. It sucks, but what is she supposed to do? If you continue to be her friend at that point, that's on you. She shouldn't lead you on by flirting with you, but I doubt that's what's happening in most these situations.

I've been the friend-zoner and the zonee and I know how much it can suck from both sides if you are interested in the person, but people just need to chill and realize that not everyone is out to hurt them.

Also, men and women can be just friends. There just probably isn't any mutual sexual attraction between them. Women will always be friends with ugly guys, and some guys will be friends with ugly girls that they're not attracted to. Some guys see that as a waste of time, and some just like to hang out with a cool chick that they have no sexual interest in. To each their own. It is possible though.
 
2012-11-27 10:02:11 PM

untaken_name: Which would you rather be? Your choice.


I usually just go on the internet and whack off to pictures of oranges.

So to speak.
 
2012-11-27 10:02:16 PM

AverageAmericanGuy: What a dickish thing to do. You're willing to throw away a friendship because of your own selfishness?


No, he's being honest with himself and her about what he wants from his relationship with her. His feeling about her isn't going to change, and her feeling about him won't either. Hanging around and wishing for things to change doesn't help anyone, and it is not a friendship -- it is a relationship where only one person is getting what they want out of it. It only breeds festering resentment as you have to look in on their relationships with other guys. You know, like this:

AverageAmericanGuy: Women are liars. They say they want a nice guy, but they don't. They want assholes who treat them like shiat. Then they come running to me over and over 'why is he so mean to me?' 'why can't I find a guy who treats me nice like you do?'


Hilarious irony. A "nice guy" with the honest belief that women are all masochistic liars who don't know what's good for em.
Sounds oxymoronic to me.


AverageAmericanGuy: Of course you realize that the person who put you in the 'friend zone' was yourself. You were the one who thought that you could ever be more than friends and pushed the point.


That doesn't even make any sense. You either have feelings for someone or not, you don't choose.
If you do and never say anything, you've essentially friend-zoned yourself by not even allowing for the possibility.
If you do and you DO say something, one of three things happens: a relationship, an estrangement, or she friend-zones you.

Really, unless you meet the person under the pretense of starting a romantic relationship (a dating site or somesuch), you're in the friend zone by default. Getting out requires you to be value your own desires enough to give them voice and the self-respect to walk away if you aren't going to get what you need, instead of meekly accepting their rebuke and following them around like a stray dog hoping she'll adopt you. That's not a "friendship", no matter what you call it.
 
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