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(SeattlePI)   Liz and Dick pulls limp ratings   (seattlepi.com) divider line 12
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2573 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 27 Nov 2012 at 1:10 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-11-27 01:49:28 PM  
3 votes:
There used to be a website called "Oh The Humanity". It was dedicated to the art of the bad movie... the kind that no on admits they ever watched, but everyone knows about it... the kind where you would turn the channel when it comes on, but the remote is just an inch too far away. Because there is usually something about it that makes you go "this is bad, but not bad".The Beastmaster is a perfect example. Half of SyFy's output is another.

But there are some movies that are just bad. The kind that no matter what kind of stunt casting they do, whatever cheesy story they come up with, the result is pretty much unwatchable. I use Showgirls as my example, usually: naked Elizabeth Berkley, naked Gina Gershon, tits everywhere, and it doesn't help. Every character is an extreme caricature, nobody you sympathize with, nobody you really root for, and a story that disappoints on just about every level.

Liz and Dick may very well replace Showgirls as my example. They didn't even try with this movie. The stuck a mole on Lindsay's cheek and called her Liz. Liz Taylor was famous for having the most beautiful lavender colored eyes. Production couldn't find a pair of contacts? The two characters spend a lot of time sniping at each other about gaining weight, when neither one shows so much as an extra ounce... costume and makeup couldn't have borrowed a fat suit from Martin Lawrence or Eddie Murphy? No attempts at accents, neither one tried to affect the proper mannerisms, the dialogue was terrible, the scenes were all about 30 seconds long, so you had no time to develop a rapport with the characters.

They say Lindsay fought for this role. With that precedent, Peter Dinklage should fight for the lead role in Lifetime movie "Out of Monroe: The Bill Russell Story".

To quote the movie reviewer from the Bloom County Picayune*: "Liz and Dick has brought the word 'bad' to new levels of badness. Bad acting. Bad effects. Bad everything. This bad film just oozed rottenness from every bad scene. Simply bad beyond all infinite dimensions of possible badness.
Well, maybe not that bad, but Lord it wasn't good."

*with thanks and apologies to Berke Breathed
2012-11-27 02:25:31 PM  
2 votes:
I thought I was watching Liz and Dick, but after an hour, I realized it was Eli and Coughlin.
2012-11-27 02:19:00 PM  
2 votes:

LonMead: To quote the movie reviewer from the Bloom County Picayune*: "Liz and Dick has brought the word 'bad' to new levels of badness. Bad acting. Bad effects. Bad everything. This bad film just oozed rottenness from every bad scene. Simply bad beyond all infinite dimensions of possible badness.
Well, maybe not that bad, but Lord it wasn't good."


To quote one of Roger Ebert's best reviews (of one of Guy Richie's worst films): "Guy Ritchie's "Revolver" is a frothing mad film that thrashes against its very sprocket holes in an attempt to bash its brains out against the projector. It seems designed to punish the audience for buying tickets. ... ... I wanted to signal the projectionist to put a gun to it. ... ... Some of the acting is better than the film deserves. Make that all of the acting. Actually, the film stock itself is better than the film deserves. You know when sometimes a film catches fire inside a projector? If it happened with this one, I suspect the audience might cheer."
2012-11-27 01:49:06 PM  
2 votes:

vernonFL: I watched it last night, and it wasn't *that* bad. I was honestly expecting it to be much worse than it was.


To be fair though, you have teh ghey, so these kinds of productions don't bother you as much as they do us straights.
2012-11-27 01:14:55 PM  
2 votes:
I blame the title. It's a love story, and the title should have reflected that. My proposal: "Liz Loves Dick".
2012-11-27 12:51:39 PM  
2 votes:
I think Susan Boyle would have been a better pick as Liz.
2012-11-27 04:13:18 PM  
1 votes:

Hey, Lohan...

i0.kym-cdn.com
2012-11-27 03:44:36 PM  
1 votes:

nytmare: The problem is this movie came out at the same time as Lincoln. If they'd have rescheduled it a few weeks later, they wouldn't have the competition and would clean up on ticket sales.


I went to see Liz & Dick at the theater, but they refused to sell me a ticket. I left when they threatened to call the cops.
2012-11-27 03:37:10 PM  
1 votes:
The problem is this movie came out at the same time as Lincoln. If they'd have rescheduled it a few weeks later, they wouldn't have the competition and would clean up on ticket sales.
2012-11-27 01:50:01 PM  
1 votes:

Wellon Dowd: [i.imgur.com image 506x800]


Her chest looks like the back of my toilet the morning after I eat Taco Bell.

/Blow out
//gross
2012-11-27 01:15:00 PM  
1 votes:
The TV show equivalent of a Rebecca Black song fared badly? NO WAY.
2012-11-27 01:08:40 PM  
1 votes:

vernonFL: I watched it last night, and it wasn't *that* bad. I was honestly expecting it to be much worse than it was.


See, we weren't expecting, like, Ed Wood levels of badness.

This was worse than that. It was a limp, flaccid, boring movie. It didn't even attempt to be good and fail spectacularly. It was like watching the deleted scenes from Mad Men as done by children's theater.
 
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