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2742 clicks; posted to Main » on 27 Nov 2012 at 10:29 AM (4 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:    more»

Voting Results (Funniest)
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 17 votes:
What a lot of people don't understand about winning the lottery is that it really isn't all that hard as long as you understand one key element of the entire equation: it's math, not luck, that matters. Specifically, it's the extrapolatables. You have to understand how the extrapolatables work to really get a clear picture of your real chances and what a sound investment in your lottery strategy will be. See, it's popular in news media to quote a figure you may have heard before: each player has a 1 in 175,000,000 chance of winning. Which sounds, let's be frank, pretty bad. But that's just the raw data with no extrapolatables added to it!

So let's examine what this truly means. 1 in 175,000,000 means that every time you play the lottery, you've got to play 175,000,000 times before you win. Which gives a totally advantage to people who've been playing for a long time -- I mean, some guy who's been buying tickets for years versus you, when it's your first time? Why is that even allowed? It shouldn't be if they want a fair competition. So, to even the playing field, what you really want to do is assemble a team of people who've been playing the lottery for a long time. So, like, say you have five friends who are experienced lottery players:

Buford: has played a total of 43 times
Henrietta: has played 112 times
Artie: has played 89 times
Gomer: has played 1,122 times, but those are just scratch-offs so they only count half (561)
Lucinda: has played 321 times

Now, add up (extrapolate) the total plays you have on your team: 1687.

So, now your chances, including yours, would appear to be 1688 in 175,000,000. But extrapolate that again and you find that that it's really works down to about 1 in 103,672. A great improvement, I'd say! So now each member of your team only needs to buy that many tickets (103, 672) to have a virtually 100 percent chance of winning.

Yes, of course, that still represents a significant investment. Tickets cost \$2 each, so if you extrapolate that cost across each player, it works out to be a \$207,344 investment. But consider this: The jackpot, after taxes, will amount to about \$273 million. Divide that among your six team members, it's works out to \$45.5 million apiece. A \$45.5 million return on an initial investment of under a quarter million? Banks would salivate at the opportunity to loan on that sort of return. And you could of course decrease the initial investment by adding members to your team, although in the scenario described above it would be even a better idea to just dump Buford, who's kind of a jackass anyway, and replace him with someone who's been playing the lottery longer. Remember, in the end, it's not the *number* of people in your team that matters -- it's how many chances they've already used up. Always consider the extrapolatables, people. Always.
 2 votes:
850 chicks at once, man!
 2 votes:
If I win, free TF's for everyone!

/Except Drew
//Pray for Amos
///Pray for Amos
 2 votes:
Just want to hit the Big One so I can hang out with John MacAffee.

And pay off a couple credit cards.
 2 votes:
Tip #6: Have someone else pick the numbers. When things go wrong, it's always nice to have someone else to blame.
 2 votes:
You either win or you lose, so buy at least two tickets.
 1 vote:
I am so going to kick your arse at lottery this week! Bring it, mofo!

/competitive lottery team!
 1 vote:

sid244: ginko: My boss is collecting \$2 from us for the office pool so I'm getting a kick out of these replies.

Who plays stratagy? EP the numbers and let them ride. The idea is that you're not a part of half of the building that is left behind when the other half wins and quits. (\$2 is ok for my santiy of not cleaing up the mess left behind).

Make sure you get a copy of tickets.

We do, he's very straight forward and emails us the tickets in a PDF so we can check them at home. If I come in and no one else is my dept the next morning, I know I missed the numbers.
 1 vote:

zipdog: Tip #7: Don't play unless you can afford to pay the millions of dollars in taxes that will be levied against you.

Tip #7b: Do not ever take tax advice from zipdog.
 1 vote:

Special J: In 2006, eight meatpacking workers - called the "Nebraska 8? - struck gold in Lincoln, Neb., with a single ticket chosen by a computer. They won \$365 million - the biggest lottery payout in U.S. history.

Before they even get into their 'tips' they pretty much shoot down their own article.

at least they weren't fudgepacking
like Tom Cruise

 1 vote:
If I win. I'm going to dissappear for one year.
Talk only to my financial planner.
Enjoy a long vacation.
Come back and bulldoze my entire property.
Dig it out to bedrock and springs.
Build an underground home with bat cave garage doors, swimming pool, and indoor fireplace where I can burn whole logs and stack the fire with a fron end loader.

Put Mr. Bonestripper out back.
 1 vote:

Jon iz teh kewl: you'd have to print ahead of time, and SPECULATE the lotto drawing going up.
some people have that kind of vision, like bill gates

I'd laugh if someone like Bill Gates or Warren Buffet bought a ticket and managed to win it all.
 1 vote:

NeoCortex42: I don't get why everybody gets so excited about the giant jackpots and suddenly puts down tens or hundreds of dollars on tickets. Was \$40 or \$50 million not enough? Is it not worth the cost of a cup of coffee until it hits ludicrous speed?

I'll buy an occasional ticket. I figure I'd be fortunate to hit that million dollar second prize. A jackpot, regardless of size, would be plenty for me for life.

I wait until they go plaid

 1 vote:

reillan: If I won \$425 million, I would give \$424 million to charity.

Then, know what I'd do with the remaining million?

I already posted the Lawrence pic.
 1 vote:

reillan: If I won \$425 million, I would give \$424 million to charity.

Then, know what I'd do with the remaining million?

Hire a good tax attorney?
 1 vote:

Nemnoch: So.. if I buy 175,000,000 tickets then I am guaranteed to win the \$278,000,000 right? I'll jump right on that!

Tickets cost \$2, which means you just lost \$72 million. Bravo, good sir.
 1 vote:

NeoCortex42: if you play "special" sequences, like the Lost numbers or Fibonacci numbers, you're probably going to end up splitting with a ton of people.

At least I will be splitting with educated people, rather than run of the mill rednecks.
 1 vote:
if i ever win i'm gonna write a book on "how i won the lottery"
and i promise it would become a best seller
 1 vote:
Ive noticed that being old helps a lot...and when it comes to the Powerball lotto theres something about Michigan too.
 1 vote:
This just in, ABC News is reporting that 3, 7 and 11 are no longer numbers under 31.
 1 vote:

zipdog: Tip #7: Don't play unless you can afford to pay the millions of dollars in taxes that will be levied against you.

That's funny... but that's also how many tea baggers think...

"Why should I make more money? My taxes will increase anyway."

They sure are a bright bunch.
 1 vote:
HotWing's Lotto Tips:

1. Buy a ticket, this will give you an opportunity to win
 1 vote:

Pocket Ninja: What a lot of people don't understand about winning the lottery is that it really isn't all that hard as long as you understand one key element of the entire equation: it's math, not luck, that matters. Specifically, it's the extrapolatables.

"Extrapolatables" -snerk-

Beautiful, man. Beautiful.
 1 vote:

SurfaceTension: Who actually plays the lottery with a strategy to win?

 1 vote:

Makh: I'm no expert in picking random numbers but I'm pretty sure, 'stay away from picking numbers' is a pretty fail strategy.

I stand corrected.
 1 vote:

PreMortem: Or simply don't play at all. Then you DEFINATELY won't have to share.

Common sense isn't so common.

Poor spelling is quite common.
 1 vote:

PROBABILITIES DO NOT WORK THAT WAY
 1 vote:
Never play six hundred and threescore and six, you'll have to share the winnngs with millions of Vincent Price and Iron Maiden fans.

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