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(PennLive)   Have a cheating boyfriend? You could try to rip his catheter out   (pennlive.com) divider line 60
    More: Scary, catheters, Harrisburg, medical devices  
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7191 clicks; posted to Main » on 27 Nov 2012 at 7:08 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-11-27 10:15:24 AM
I got to help a doc put a central line (big scary cath into one of the larger veins) once. I suspect there'd be substantial bleeding if one of those was ripped out.
 
2012-11-27 10:43:18 AM

maram500: I've had multiple surgeries, most of which left me unable to do jack shiat with my right leg for weeks afterward. Even turning on my side in bed was horrifying torture (although copious amounts of painkillers helped).

But nothing--and I mean NOTHING--came close to being cathed while I was conscious. More than that, they cathed me in order to shoot dye in my bladder to see why I was leaking occasionally. So I'm on a cold table with a male nurse (I'm gay, so what) staring at me with a plastic hose from hell up my weiner. They're shooting dye which makes me have to piss like a racehorse, and when they pull the hosepipe out of my hosepipe, I'm bleeding. And whenever I peed for four days after, there was blood.

Catheters are no joke, people.


Ditto. Most painful and uncomfortable thing I have ever experienced. Doctor advised being sedated, I said it was unnecessary. OH GOD WHAT A MISTAKE. A piece of oil pipeline was rammed up my Johnson into my bladder and then fluid injected until the bladder is fully expanded. You are in pain, you want to piss from the pressure and can't, it was horrible. Pissed blood just like you. I can't imagine a more effective torture, I would have sold out anyone or anything just to make that stop.
 
2012-11-27 11:16:45 AM
Another great medical vs. street definition debate going on here.

Any tube in your body is technically a catheter. Everything from an IV to an insulin pump to artificial insemination to a breathing tube.

The chest catheter might be a Swan-Ganz that measures heart pressure or a central venous catheter that measures the pressure there and/or administers drugs or blood tests through the subclavian or axillary vein or he's got an abscess near his chest.

It's common for those on the street to go straight for the weiner, but to a doctor it's a lot more.
 
2012-11-27 01:56:53 PM
Had a peener catheter removed two weeks ago, following surgery. Still hurts like hell, still pissing clots and scabs.

NOW they tell me I get to have a chest catheter installed to receive therapy for cancer.

I think I could probably remove the chest port myself, but if I ever get another peener catheter, it stays till I go.
 
2012-11-27 02:11:23 PM

Lsherm: Ambivalence: Lsherm: I haven't had a lot of medical procedures in my life, but one that will always stick with me is the removal of a catheter from my junk. It is quite possibly the worst thing you could experience, although I've heard kidney stones are even worse.

was it painful or just REALLY uncomfortable and/or weird feeling?

It started uncomfortable, but when the nurse told me "we can keep doing this slow or try the band-aid approach" - THEN it was wildly painful for a good 20 minutes, and I was sore for days. And the soreness is doubly irritating because it's not just your dick, it's inside, too. Like I got vagina punched with brass knuckles, except I don't have a vagina. Or brass knuckles.

Granted, them putting the damn thing in wasn't a bed of roses, either, but it was nothing compared to it coming out.


Sounds like they didn't deflate the balloon all the way.
 
2012-11-27 04:04:17 PM

qualtrough: maram500: I've had multiple surgeries, most of which left me unable to do jack shiat with my right leg for weeks afterward. Even turning on my side in bed was horrifying torture (although copious amounts of painkillers helped).

But nothing--and I mean NOTHING--came close to being cathed while I was conscious. More than that, they cathed me in order to shoot dye in my bladder to see why I was leaking occasionally. So I'm on a cold table with a male nurse (I'm gay, so what) staring at me with a plastic hose from hell up my weiner. They're shooting dye which makes me have to piss like a racehorse, and when they pull the hosepipe out of my hosepipe, I'm bleeding. And whenever I peed for four days after, there was blood.

Catheters are no joke, people.

Ditto. Most painful and uncomfortable thing I have ever experienced. Doctor advised being sedated, I said it was unnecessary. OH GOD WHAT A MISTAKE. A piece of oil pipeline was rammed up my Johnson into my bladder and then fluid injected until the bladder is fully expanded. You are in pain, you want to piss from the pressure and can't, it was horrible. Pissed blood just like you. I can't imagine a more effective torture, I would have sold out anyone or anything just to make that stop.


Count yourself as lucky--they didn't even offer me sedation. Basically, it went like this:

1. "Get naked and put this hospital gown on backwards."
2. "Now lay down on this cold steel table."
3. "I'm going to shove this up your peen."
4. Shove lead pipe up urethra.
5. Pain.
 
2012-11-27 04:05:49 PM

jaylectricity: Ambivalence: How does a guy cheat with a catheter in his peener?

I"m trying to figure out the logistics of that...

Apparently it was in his chest, so he probably has a vagina there and was doing sit-ups with a boner.


You owe me a new keyboard

/I'd like the Hello Kitty one please ;)
 
2012-11-27 05:01:29 PM

bubo_sibiricus: Lsherm: I haven't had a lot of medical procedures in my life, but one that will always stick with me is the removal of a catheter from my junk

Wait, what?

I had a foley, and removal of one of those things is a piece of cake IF YOU DEFLATE THE farkER FIRST, which for me, the nurse did.

I'm betting they did it wrong.

Also...

Came here looking for the Harkonnen heart plug.

Not satisfied.


Feel better now?

2.bp.blogspot.com
 
2012-11-27 05:56:13 PM
Something that people may not know is that the removal of a penile catheter may result in a blockage, requiring a re-insertion to remove that blockage. It's just as bad as it sounds....(I peed in excess of a liter by the time it was taken care of: ouch and ouch again)
 
2012-11-28 07:45:45 AM

SkunkWerks: Habitual Cynic: Some of this just doesn't make any sense. Catheters just don't go in your chest unless your plumbing is really messed up.

I'm thinking he had some sort of stent or a drain that the biatch from he!! yanked out.


So, you're suggesting that it was not a catheter, but some other medical device which was placed in his chest for medical reasons?

Those last couple prepositions are critical.


Yup. Catheters just don't go into chests anymore than they go into knees.
 
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