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(Huffington Post)   Five things most people don't know about the Bible. Like the time Jesus and Buddha piloted a giant robot to fight off an invasion of Cat Girls from Mars   (huffingtonpost.com ) divider line
    More: Interesting, Bibles, Jesus Is, common misconceptions, Hebrew Bible, book collector, parables, retributive justice, Deuteronomy  
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18661 clicks; posted to Main » on 26 Nov 2012 at 9:40 PM (4 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

2012-11-26 11:47:18 PM  
6 votes:
Nothing can beat Mecha-Shiva

www.venturefans.org
media.tumblr.com

/Mecha-Shiva! Mecha-Shiva! Mecha-Shiva!
2012-11-26 11:26:25 PM  
5 votes:
Most Christians today treat the Bible like the Terms of Agreement page on a software license: They don't read it, they just skip to the bottom and click "I Agree".
2012-11-26 10:10:51 PM  
4 votes:
He Brew and the Gospel of the Universe.

I am Adam, prince of Earth and defender of the secrets of The Tree of Life.
This is Eve, my fearless friend.

Fabulous secret powers were revealed to me the day I held aloft my magic rib and said, "By the power of YAHWEH!

I have the power!"
2012-11-26 09:49:11 PM  
3 votes:
#0 The Hebrew Bible is not the final arbiter of what is in the Bible.

The King James version of the Bible translates and corrects many of the supposed "problems" with the original texts. It is the only true divinely inspired Word of God acceptable to today's Christians. Even versions similar to the King James version, such as the New King James version, are corruptions and are the work of Satan.
2012-11-26 11:35:11 PM  
2 votes:

tilrman: A couple billion people sure will be embarrassed when they find out there was a slight misunderstanding a few thousand years ago and they realize how silly they've been this whole time. We'll all have a good laugh about it in the morning.


Celebrate! Priests are supposed to celebrate!
2012-11-26 10:28:58 PM  
2 votes:
You have not experienced the Gospel of Luke until you have read it in the original Klingon.
2012-11-26 10:13:34 PM  
2 votes:
The best part is about the stretchiest man in the Bible.

He tied his ass to a tree, and walked to Jerusalem.
2012-11-26 10:00:06 PM  
2 votes:

6) Catholic religion is based on a mistranslation. The Septuagint scholars mistranslated the Hebrew word for "young woman" into the Greek word for "virgin". It was an easy mistake to make because there was only a subtle difference in the spelling.

So, they came up with a prophecy: "Behold, the virgin shall conceive and bear us a son." You understand? It was "virgin" that caught people's attention. It's not everyday a virgin conceives and bears a son.


But leave that for a couple of hundred years to stew and next thing you know you have the Holy Catholic Church.

2012-11-26 09:53:30 PM  
2 votes:
Good evening. Here is the news on Friday, the 27th of Geldof. Archaeologists near Mount Sinai have discovered what is believed to be a missing page from the Bible. The page is currently being carbon dated in Bonn. If genuine it belongs at the beginning of the Bible and is believed to read "To my darling Candy. All characters portrayed within this book are fictitous and any resemblance to persons living or dead is purely coincidental." The page has been universally condemned by church leaders.
2012-11-26 09:44:20 PM  
2 votes:
TFA fails for not mentioning that part in Phillipians where it says you have to kill doctors who do abortions. there's also no mention of the part where it says you have to homeschool your kids so that they know that evolution is a lie that the devil made to push people away from christ.

fail.
2012-11-27 10:37:27 AM  
1 vote:
I've never seen cat girls from mars, but I have seen biker mice from mars.
www.bikermice.tv 

/Ride free, citizen!
2012-11-27 05:43:53 AM  
1 vote:
I think we're due another Council of Trent bible-editing conference,

I vote taking out Leviticus, and adding the script for that episode of Battlestar when Starbuck dies and has flashbacks to her awesomely creepy mother.

And maybe The Gruffalo.
2012-11-27 01:34:27 AM  
1 vote:

ladyfortuna: JudgeMuttonChops: i'm a Seventh Day Advent Hoppist myself

You brew beer on the 7th day?


That sounds like a good plan if you drink it on the other six days : )
2012-11-27 12:16:26 AM  
1 vote:
Entered this thread for pics of catgirls.
Leaving disappointed. :(
2012-11-26 11:34:04 PM  
1 vote:

AverageAmericanGuy: The King James version of the Bible translates and corrects many of the supposed "problems" with the original texts. It is the only true divinely inspired Word of God acceptable to today's Christians. Even versions similar to the King James version, such as the New King James version, are corruptions and are the work of Satan.


No no, a better one is coming out: The Conservative Bible Project: It's going to eliminate all the contradictions and errors and liberal crap in the Bible to purify it for today's Fox News watching, Republican voting red-blooded Real Americans.
2012-11-26 11:06:00 PM  
1 vote:
Also, how cat-like are they? This is important! 

moneygunsweed.com
2012-11-26 11:01:45 PM  
1 vote:
What about the long lost first page

www2.b3ta.com
2012-11-26 10:49:02 PM  
1 vote:

manimal2878: Or things anybody that's not an evangelical christian has known since they read the bible.


img3.ranker.com
?

I'll go with 'Probably not'.
2012-11-26 10:14:25 PM  
1 vote:
Number 6...
www.beatitsquid.info 

/True story.
2012-11-26 10:10:33 PM  
1 vote:
The character "Yahweh" in the Hebrew Bible should not be confused with the god of western theological speculation (generally referred to as "God").

In fact, he was a powerful space alien who enjoyed treated a whole group of people as his own private ant farm.
2012-11-26 10:09:54 PM  
1 vote:
i.imgur.com

i.imgur.com
2012-11-26 10:07:04 PM  
1 vote:

AverageAmericanGuy: #0 The Hebrew Bible is not the final arbiter of what is in the Bible.

The King James version of the Bible translates and corrects many of the supposed "problems" with the original texts. It is the only true divinely inspired Word of God acceptable to today's Christians. Even versions similar to the King James version, such as the New King James version, are corruptions and are the work of Satan.


HA!
2012-11-26 10:06:11 PM  
1 vote:

12349876: AverageAmericanGuy: #0 The Hebrew Bible is not the final arbiter of what is in the Bible.

The King James version of the Bible translates and corrects many of the supposed "problems" with the original texts. It is the only true divinely inspired Word of God acceptable to today's Christians. Even versions similar to the King James version, such as the New King James version, are corruptions and are the work of Satan.

I've always wondered why so many Americans put their trust in a British King for their religious text.


So I told that teaching lady the only three letters I need to know are K, J and V.
2012-11-26 10:05:05 PM  
1 vote:
s3.mangareader.net
orangelic.files.wordpress.com
24.media.tumblr.com
24.media.tumblr.com 
25.media.tumblr.com
2012-11-26 10:02:45 PM  
1 vote:
Mary was raped by God and people are ok with this?

And answer me this:

If God is all knowing and that man has no free will and all that shiat, then how come he asked Abraham to sacrifice his son as a test of faith?
Did he not know the answer already? And if not, then it shows that God gave man free will, which means he made people atheists and believers of other religions.
So, basically, Christians, what the fark are you on about. Blame God , you coont, for making people non-believers. Or something something, I'm tired.
2012-11-26 09:58:13 PM  
1 vote:
Cat Girls from Mars? Are they associated with The Leather Goddesses of Phobos?
2012-11-26 09:53:32 PM  
1 vote:

James F. Campbell: The only book of the Bible worth reading -- and even that is stretching it -- is Ecclesiastes.


You can spank it to The Song of Solomon. Ergo, you are wrong.
2012-11-26 09:52:27 PM  
1 vote:
I'd actually enjoy a bible that resembles the headline.
2012-11-26 09:49:19 PM  
1 vote:
An interesting list

Mentioned but did not go into detail on why which books are in the bible and which books are not in the bible (gnostic springs to mind)

These are some good reading:
Gospel of Mary (recovered in 1896)
Gospel of Thomas (versions found in Oxyrhynchus, Egypt in 1898, and again in the Nag Hammadi Library)
Gospel of Truth (Nag Hammadi Library)
Gospel of Philip (Nag Hammadi Library)
Gospel of Judas (recovered via the antiquities black market in 1983, and then reconstructed in 2006)
2012-11-26 09:47:25 PM  
1 vote:
One would almost think they're referring to it as the "Hebrew Bible" to confuse Christians.

I can almost picture Bubba the Christian saying "That ain't my Bible, I ain't no Heeee-Breeeeww"
2012-11-26 09:41:05 PM  
1 vote:
biatches don't know about bible's dick.
2012-11-26 09:27:25 PM  
1 vote:
This article is God's way of testing Her faithful
 
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