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(TMZ)   The half from 'Two and a Half Men' no longer wants to be on the show because he doesn't want to contribute to the greater glory of Satan. Oh come on, Ashton Kutcher is not THAT bad   (tmz.com) divider line 62
    More: Dumbass, Half-Man, Ashton Kutcher, Angus T. Jones, Satans, Bad News, Cannabis smoking  
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8783 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 26 Nov 2012 at 6:45 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Archived thread
2012-11-26 03:18:30 PM
18 votes:

Elzar: Basically anything not from the bible was satanic in the 80s. Also if it fits up your arse, its of the devil.


See, now I'm just wondering how many Keelber Elves I could get in my ass.
2012-11-26 03:34:08 PM
9 votes:
Listen kid, I know Kirk Cameron used to be a babe magnet, but if you follow him down that road, eventually you'll be peeling bananas suggestively on public access television and celebrating your birthday with a Subway sammich and two poor schmucks that you had to pay to be your friends. It's not pretty, kid.
2012-11-26 03:05:49 PM
8 votes:
So basically this is the new Kirk Cameron?
2012-11-26 04:56:45 PM
6 votes:
So, Two and a Half Men is part of Satan's great plan? Satan, you a dumb f*cker...
2012-11-26 10:19:11 PM
5 votes:
And now a badly and quickly Photoshopped look into Angus's future.

i.imgur.com
2012-11-26 08:46:55 PM
5 votes:
Ever notice you never hear a born again Christian type say 'My life was going really awesome, so I turned to Christ'.
2012-11-26 05:39:24 PM
5 votes:

vartian: Elzar: Basically anything not from the bible was satanic in the 80s. Also if it fits up your arse, its of the devil.

See, now I'm just wondering how many Keelber Elves I could get in my ass.


23. You can fit 23 up there.... but do NOT trust the Fudge stripe Cookies they send out of there.
2012-11-26 05:34:48 PM
5 votes:
So now it will be called just "Two Men?"

Sounds like my Saturday night "escort" order.
2012-11-26 07:25:13 PM
4 votes:
Hey, somebody should post that picture from Kirk Cameron's birthday party.
2012-11-26 05:25:42 PM
4 votes:
TFA: Angus says he turned to religion after realizing his life was on a "downward trend" -- which included drug use and speeding tickets
 
You heathen!
2012-11-26 03:30:47 PM
4 votes:
It took him this long to figure out the show is "ungodly filth"????

I knew this 9 years ago.
2012-11-26 03:16:40 PM
4 votes:

BunkyBrewman: Elzar: Sounds like Angus has been smoking some of whatever uncle charlie has been smoking. I too encourage people not to watch two and a half men - but not because it is some sort of "satanic" TV show - its simply a lowest common denominator comedy (or American comedy if you will) which is neither funny nor intelligent.

/ Grew-up fundie in the 80s
// Know a thing or two about Satanic stuff (ie, D&D, Ozzy Osbourne, and the Keebler Elves).
/// No sky wizard like an Xtian sky wizard

The Keebler Elves are satanic?

Must have missed that memo


Basically anything not from the bible was satanic in the 80s. Also if it fits up your arse, its of the devil.
2012-11-26 03:13:39 PM
4 votes:

ac982000: So basically this is the new Kirk Cameron?


That was my first thought. Maybe they can turn the Left Behind series into a buddy comedy.
2012-11-26 06:57:21 PM
3 votes:

Diogenes: So now it will be called just "Two Men?"

Sounds like my Saturday night "escort" order.



Don't make my mistake and try to save money ordering the half man, MANIMAL IS NOT A GENTLE LOVER!
2012-11-26 05:08:16 PM
3 votes:
Satan peaked with "Friends." That theme song haunts me to this day.
2012-11-26 04:18:43 PM
3 votes:

vartian: See, now I'm just wondering how many Keelber Elves I could get in my ass.


I think that it depends whether you use water or silicone based lube. I do know that silicone does work better with dwarves, but getting the lube stains out of the sheets is a chore.
2012-11-26 04:07:01 PM
3 votes:
Ok who'd pay to see Danny Bonaduce punch Angus in the face a few times? I would :D


/and I despise Two and a Half Men.

//I despise hypocrites even more.
2012-11-26 03:02:21 PM
3 votes:
Sounds like Angus has been smoking some of whatever uncle charlie has been smoking. I too encourage people not to watch two and a half men - but not because it is some sort of "satanic" TV show - its simply a lowest common denominator comedy (or American comedy if you will) which is neither funny nor intelligent.

/ Grew-up fundie in the 80s
// Know a thing or two about Satanic stuff (ie, D&D, Ozzy Osbourne, and the Keebler Elves).
/// No sky wizard like an Xtian sky wizard
2012-11-26 10:46:08 PM
2 votes:

ExcedrinHeadache: Did anyone mention that he's the next Kirk Cameron yet? I have a hilarious picture of Kirk Cameron's birthday party I could post, if not.

(It looks like he's blowing a dude in the picture, if you crop it right!)


You should totally post it!
2012-11-26 10:08:33 PM
2 votes:

ZeroCorpse: Coco LaFemme: 99.9% of everything on TV anymore is crap. How are we supposed to differentiate between this show and all the others?

Yes. TV was much more cerebral in the 50s, 60s, 70s, and 80s.

[image.retrojunk.com image 236x345]
[24.media.tumblr.com image 500x625]
[images.zap2it.com image 360x270]
[i2.ytimg.com image 300x300]
[24.media.tumblr.com image 400x300]
[www.sitcomsonline.com image 253x265]
[25.media.tumblr.com image 500x389]
[www.tvchannelsfree.com image 320x240]
[2.bp.blogspot.com image 850x638]


Is the last one Mork or Freddie Kruger giving head to a comfy chair?
2012-11-26 07:18:04 PM
2 votes:
In a couple of years:

img268.imageshack.us
2012-11-26 07:05:04 PM
2 votes:

Earguy: First, they've already proven they can replace a character


Two Cindys and 39 Helens agree.
2012-11-26 07:03:57 PM
2 votes:
Man, do I hate it when I end up agreeing with Christian Fundamental Wack-Jobs. It feels like the Earth goes off its axis for about an hour.
2012-11-26 06:59:03 PM
2 votes:
So I assume he is giving most of the 300k an episode away right? Right, right. . . .

Also if you really want to see a downward trend please refer to Charlie Sheen. A Downward Trend I am told, is snorting cocaine off pornstar's a$$es while you haven't slept for three days. Speeding tickets does not warrant a downward trend reference.
2012-11-26 06:29:31 PM
2 votes:
So he wants to blame TV for his being an absolute asshat then? Fine. Then we can blame church for him being an absolute douche now.
2012-11-26 06:17:07 PM
2 votes:

jack21221: ...it turns out he's just a mentally unstable Christian whackjob


But you repeat yourself?
2012-11-26 04:43:21 PM
2 votes:
i253.photobucket.com
2012-11-26 04:04:33 PM
2 votes:
Sounds like someone had a special dressing-room moment with Kirk Cameron.
2012-11-26 03:04:25 PM
2 votes:

Elzar: Sounds like Angus has been smoking some of whatever uncle charlie has been smoking. I too encourage people not to watch two and a half men - but not because it is some sort of "satanic" TV show - its simply a lowest common denominator comedy (or American comedy if you will) which is neither funny nor intelligent.

/ Grew-up fundie in the 80s
// Know a thing or two about Satanic stuff (ie, D&D, Ozzy Osbourne, and the Keebler Elves).
/// No sky wizard like an Xtian sky wizard


The Keebler Elves are satanic?

Must have missed that memo
2012-11-27 11:18:54 AM
1 votes:

Captain Steroid: Okay, so Sheen had an EPIC relapse, and the kid went full-Evangelical...

I'm calling it now: Jon Cryer is getting a sex change! :P


Again?
2012-11-27 02:12:41 AM
1 votes:
Oh oh, I got this. Kill him off in a bizarre Army kitchen accident and replace him with a younger kid who turns out to be Alan's illegitimate son from his fling with his nurse. Money please.
2012-11-27 12:14:50 AM
1 votes:

Mugato: AaronSynn: Ever notice you never hear a born again Christian type say 'My life was going really awesome, so I turned to Christ'.

No one turns to Christ on prom night.


So, i googled for "jesus prom"...

southlandchristian.smugmug.com
2012-11-26 10:58:47 PM
1 votes:
Let's see Jesus save his career now.
2012-11-26 10:00:08 PM
1 votes:

Coco LaFemme: 99.9% of everything on TV anymore is crap. How are we supposed to differentiate between this show and all the others?


Yes. TV was much more cerebral in the 50s, 60s, 70s, and 80s.

image.retrojunk.com
24.media.tumblr.com
images.zap2it.com
i2.ytimg.com
24.media.tumblr.com
www.sitcomsonline.com
25.media.tumblr.com
www.tvchannelsfree.com
2.bp.blogspot.com
2012-11-26 09:51:38 PM
1 votes:

Lsherm: TomD9938: Hard to believe it's the same creator as Big Bang. Sort of like Wheel of Fortune is to Jeopardy.

Not really - BBT sucks, too.


Chuck Lorre really is Satan, he's correct there.
2012-11-26 09:21:20 PM
1 votes:
I don't know if this kid realizes it, but he is the next Kirk Cameron and this is what his birthday will be like
eatwatchrun.files.wordpress.com
2012-11-26 08:54:25 PM
1 votes:

AaronSynn: Ever notice you never hear a born again Christian type say 'My life was going really awesome, so I turned to Christ'.


No one turns to Christ on prom night.
2012-11-26 08:51:03 PM
1 votes:

AaronSynn: Ever notice you never hear a born again Christian type say 'My life was going really awesome, so I turned to Christ'.


and you never hear someone who's life is going down the drain ever say they turned to atheism.
2012-11-26 08:43:49 PM
1 votes:
Did anyone mention that he's the next Kirk Cameron yet? I have a hilarious picture of Kirk Cameron's birthday party I could post, if not.

(It looks like he's blowing a dude in the picture, if you crop it right!)
2012-11-26 08:39:53 PM
1 votes:
I bet the little f**ker keeps cashing those $350,000 AN EPISODE CHECKS, though, huh? 

Fark him.
2012-11-26 07:53:09 PM
1 votes:
Is it weird that I first read about this on Conservapedia, and figured it was just bullshiat like everything else on that site?
2012-11-26 07:29:12 PM
1 votes:

Lord Dimwit: So he'll be giving the money he earned from it back any day now, right?

...waiting...
...waiting...
...waiting...


No you are confusing him with a follower of Jesus of Nazareth. He is a follower of Jesus Christ, where as long as you say the secret password you get to belong to the Magic Mickey Mouse club of the saved no matter how big a douchebag you are. It's ok, it's been a common mistake since about 33 AD.
2012-11-26 07:27:16 PM
1 votes:

Badgers: In a couple of years:

PsyLord: Fast forward 20 years and you'll have a birthday like this:
Loucifer: He needs a visit from the Ghost of Birthday Future.

\tzzhc4: Sounds like Anus is growing up to be another Kirk Cameron.

What you guys at a bible meeting together?

2012-11-26 07:24:54 PM
1 votes:
While this sounds like a Kirk Cameron situation, I beg to differ. On Growing Pains, Kirk Cameron was considered the main draw for the show by the creators, producers, and head of the network. He was the one everybody tuned in to see, and was catered to because of this fact. This made his eventual change to a stupid little fundie a bad situation because, in the eyes of everybody, it poisoned the show because he was considered one of the main reasons for the show.

Angus, on the other hand, is a child actor who has grown up to be an ugly adult. The show can and will go on without him, and it would be favored to do so as useless child actors aren't really necessary for the show to continue. He can be replaced by a cheaper and younger actor on a moment's notice and nothing about the show's formula will change drastically. If anything, it would be easier as they don't have a $350k per episode sinkhole pretending to be a 'half man.'

If anything, Angus comes off as one of those blond kids from Home Improvement: this is it for him as an actor, and the next big thing about him will be an eventual divorce or ten-year 'look where they are now' bit where he's living in a trailer park working through a succession of women who are taking their hunk of his dwindling cash for drugs. He was going to have a hard enough time working after the show, and this going to destroy whatever shell of a career he had afterward.
2012-11-26 07:20:59 PM
1 votes:

PsyLord: Fast forward 20 years and you'll have a birthday like this:

[eatwatchrun.files.wordpress.com image 650x568]


A table surface is an awkward place for a glory hole.
2012-11-26 07:20:11 PM
1 votes:
He needs a visit from the Ghost of Birthday Future.

wac.450f.edgecastcdn.net
2012-11-26 07:09:03 PM
1 votes:
They ought to just let him spend each episode ranting about how awful and evil the show is. It might actually be entertaining then.
2012-11-26 07:07:28 PM
1 votes:

Pokey.Clyde: Know how I know you're an asshole? You say "sky wizard", and also use "Xtian"


Rules for Comma usage/Trolling with Panache
2012-11-26 07:06:09 PM
1 votes:
Then have him run over by a tank.

They've done it before.

/And you'll note the $cientologists didn't go after the ugly kid actor.
2012-11-26 07:05:51 PM
1 votes:

scottydoesntknow: Hell you might as well criticize the parents that let their kids act in R-rated movies (The Babysitter comes to mind).


Taxi Driver?
2012-11-26 07:04:31 PM
1 votes:

hbk72777:
What kind of parents would put their kid on a show full of sexual innuendo's


In your endo - huh huh...

Wynonna's Big Brown Beaver (NSFW Double Entendre)
2012-11-26 06:54:44 PM
1 votes:
Isn't his character in the army? Time for a "shipping you off to Afghanistan" storyline, I'm thinking.
2012-11-26 06:14:32 PM
1 votes:
Angus says he turned to religion after realizing his life was on a "downward trend" -- which included drug use and speeding tickets.

Damn, that's all it takes? Apparently I've been on a downward trend since I was 16.
2012-11-26 05:43:57 PM
1 votes:
Holy crap, I thought subby was being hyperbolic with the Satan talk. He literally said that. When I first heard about this (overheard my students in lab mention something about it), I thought he was taking a stand against being on a generic, unfunny "comedy" show. If that were the case, I would have supported him. But no, it turns out he's just a mentally unstable Christian whackjob.
2012-11-26 05:41:30 PM
1 votes:
Well that's one good way to get kicked off a show.
2012-11-26 05:27:50 PM
1 votes:
This is what happens when you can't handle your drugs. Wimp.
2012-11-26 04:25:15 PM
1 votes:

Earguy: Kid, you have no idea...

First, they've already proven they can replace a character. Two lines about being hired as a video game tester in Seattle, and you're off the show forever.

Second, all that money you earned as a minor? Your parents have let you see just enough to keep you from asking questions. Dad is your manager, mom is your agent, taking their percentage, and skimming off even more. Now you've "gone crazy" with religion and they'll get an injunction to keep you away from your money. Then the lawyers start sucking your bank dry.

Hope you have a fallback plan, because telling the public to stay away from your show means you'll never be hired again.


There's a bunch of union laws about what parents can do with the money in terms of percentages that can be skimmed. They even have to set up a special "Jackie Coogan account" (that's the actual name) for most of the earnings. If he's 18, his parents shouldn't be able to touch it, injunction or no.

Also, he's probably still getting some fat syndication checks. If he stashes just those away, and lives a sober and responsible Christian life, he's probably set for quite some time. Unless, of course, he starts donating it all to his church.
2012-11-26 04:03:42 PM
1 votes:

10.0.0.1: I seem to remember that Erin Moran flipped out, too.


And is now wandering drunk through her trailer park.
2012-11-26 03:55:05 PM
1 votes:

Earguy: Kid, you have no idea...

First, they've already proven they can replace a character. Two lines about being hired as a video game tester in Seattle, and you're off the show forever.

Second, all that money you earned as a minor? Your parents have let you see just enough to keep you from asking questions. Dad is your manager, mom is your agent, taking their percentage, and skimming off even more. Now you've "gone crazy" with religion and they'll get an injunction to keep you away from your money. Then the lawyers start sucking your bank dry.

Hope you have a fallback plan, because telling the public to stay away from your show means you'll never be hired again.


He's got a promising career in the christian entertainment industry - maybe even a shot at a devil's 3-way with Michael W. Smith and Amy Grant. If all that falls through, he can always adjust his stance a little wider...
2012-11-26 03:37:19 PM
1 votes:

vartian: Elzar: Basically anything not from the bible was satanic in the 80s. Also if it fits up your arse, its of the devil.

See, now I'm just wondering how many Keelber Elves I could get in my ass.


While you're busy stuffing, might I casually point out there are no black keebler elves?

<thatsracist.jpg>

/ How awesome would a Ray Comfort/Kirk Cameron/Angus T Jones holier-than-thou trinity be?
// To the banana-mobile - Matt Dillahunty doesn't stand a chance!
2012-11-26 03:14:48 PM
1 votes:
Well since he is donating the millions he earned to a Christian charity to feed the hungry, I...

Oh wait.
2012-11-26 03:13:02 PM
1 votes:

ac982000: So basically this is the new Kirk Cameron?


THIS.
 
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