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(The Atlantic)   Unbelievably, women seeking a "designer vagina" are misled by people without vaginas into thinking they'll get a new and improved vagina but they really end up with just a regular old vagina. Vagina   (theatlantic.com) divider line 305
    More: PSA, absence of evidence, Googles, vaginas, riding horses, female genitalia, Guy Fieri  
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15290 clicks; posted to Main » on 26 Nov 2012 at 2:44 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-11-26 01:36:22 PM
 
2012-11-26 01:42:08 PM
Thread is useless without before and after pics.
 
2012-11-26 01:43:32 PM
The types of -- medically unnecessary -- procedures falling under the category of female genital cosmetic surgery (FGCS) included hymenoplasty, labiaplasty, "G-spot" amplication, and vaginal "rejuvenation" (the study's authors chose to put those certain words in quotations).

Moar power! MOAR!!
 
2012-11-26 01:45:45 PM
Ladies, all vaginas are beautiful. We're just happy to be there.

www.google.ca
 
2012-11-26 01:53:46 PM
More: PSA, absence of evidence, Googles, vaginas, riding horses, female genitalia, Guy Fieri

snert
 
2012-11-26 01:59:34 PM
i.imgur.com
 
2012-11-26 01:59:38 PM
I wanted a Georgia O'Keefe but I got a Picasso.
 
2012-11-26 02:02:10 PM
Designa Vagina - sounds like a great band name.

I'm sure I can speak for the rest of the fark male populace when I say if a woman doesn't sport the latest Tera Patrick model its game over. I mean really who wants to stick their junk in average looking poon?
 
2012-11-26 02:02:12 PM
♫ In my mind I'm designin' a vagina... ♫
 
2012-11-26 02:09:47 PM
hymenoplasty

Ok, there's literally no upside to this.
 
2012-11-26 02:09:52 PM

Raharu: Thread is useless without before and after pics.


Here's a BBC documentary on the subject. NSFW
 
2012-11-26 02:12:17 PM

I_C_Weener: I wanted a Georgia O'Keefe but I got a Picasso.


I got a Hieronymus Bosch.
 
2012-11-26 02:16:08 PM
The sites tend to call attention to "labial hypertrophy," for example, which is not a medically defined condition.

I prefer the term, "Roast Beef Sandwich" vagina!
 
2012-11-26 02:22:18 PM
Meh...bunch of pussies.
 
2012-11-26 02:24:52 PM

NutWrench: The sites tend to call attention to "labial hypertrophy," for example, which is not a medically defined condition.

I prefer the term, "Roast Beef Sandwich" vagina!


Ham. Wallet.
 
2012-11-26 02:33:08 PM

NutWrench: Roast Beef Sandwich"


ThatGuyGreg: Ham. Wallet.


We covered this not too long ago
.
 
2012-11-26 02:34:19 PM
I feel the same way about this as I do breast enhancement...leave that shiat alone. Ladies, your vaginas are beautiful as they are...no surgery is necessary....but please, please, please...wax your nether regions. I don't like looking like I fell of a bike and skinned my chin after a long session of giving oral.
 
2012-11-26 02:46:08 PM

Unbelievably, women seeking a "designer vagina" are misled by people without vaginas into thinking they'll get a new and improved vagina but they really end up with just a regular old vagina. Vagina


That was some kind of monologue, subby.
 
2012-11-26 02:46:42 PM
I like a big fat pussy. I want it to look like a poorly packed suitcase. Like a basset hound with a miner's helmet.
 
2012-11-26 02:47:48 PM
Some pornstars (mainly the MILFs) get their vagina reupholstered because all the banging gets it loose and droopy.
 
2012-11-26 02:48:37 PM
slayer199

2012-11-26 02:34:19 PM

I feel the same way about this as I do breast enhancement...leave that shiat alone. Ladies, your vaginas are beautiful as they are...no surgery is necessary....but please, please, please...wax your nether regions. I don't like looking like I fell of a bike and skinned my chin after a long session of giving oral


Or leave it au natural. Hairy is back.
 
2012-11-26 02:49:41 PM
"Yes, I'll have the snapper!"
 
2012-11-26 02:50:33 PM
A designer vagina. Really.

So, ladies, how do you show it off? Walk down the street with a Coach trademark dangling from your fly? Better yet, an Oldham? Do you wear a sign on your jeans emblazoned with "There's a Wang inside"?
 
2012-11-26 02:50:48 PM
You mean...

coitus?
 
2012-11-26 02:51:17 PM
Could have been worse....

Vagina Dentata

/guuuuuuuurrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
 
2012-11-26 02:51:35 PM
img3.findthebest.comwww.arbys.com

Before cheese and after.
 
2012-11-26 02:52:08 PM
Sure designer vaginas are a piece of cake. But who will do the wrinkle reduction procedure for the scrotum?
 
2012-11-26 02:53:39 PM
Ladies, before considering cosmetic surgery, you really should get an outside opinion. For anyone considering such a procedure, I would be more than happy to offer a free assessment of the concerned area to determine whether or not the procedure would be beneficial. All materials provided will remain confidential.
 
2012-11-26 02:53:43 PM

Elzar: Tera Patrick model its game over.


Why Tera Patrick? You could drive a truck through that thing. I'd pic some chick from a Disney channel teeny-bopper show.
 
2012-11-26 02:54:09 PM
You guys talking about vagina?
 
2012-11-26 02:55:00 PM
I need to find a new vagina
Any kind of new vagina
It's hard to rhyme a word like vagina
Calvin Klein? kindaNorth Carolina?
 
2012-11-26 02:55:34 PM
Something smells fishy about this procedure...
 
2012-11-26 02:56:35 PM

GoldDude: Sure designer vaginas are a piece of cake. But who will do the wrinkle reduction procedure for the scrotum?


Who WANTS a scrotal wrinkle reduction?

/it sounds uncomfortable
 
2012-11-26 02:56:50 PM

Muta: Elzar: Tera Patrick model its game over.

Why Tera Patrick? You could drive a truck through that thing. I'd pic some chick from a Disney channel teeny-bopper show.


you can have a seat over there...
 
2012-11-26 02:58:44 PM

ChipNASA: Could have been worse....

Vagina Dentata

/guuuuuuuurrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr


Only a matter of time...
 
2012-11-26 02:59:05 PM

SirEattonHogg: slayer199

2012-11-26 02:34:19 PM

I feel the same way about this as I do breast enhancement...leave that shiat alone. Ladies, your vaginas are beautiful as they are...no surgery is necessary....but please, please, please...wax your nether regions. I don't like looking like I fell of a bike and skinned my chin after a long session of giving oral


Or leave it au natural. Hairy is back.


I'm normally generous with using my mouth, but nobody likes a gorillas sandwich. It's really distracting to have to stop and sneeze.
 
2012-11-26 02:59:12 PM

God Is My Co-Pirate: I_C_Weener: I wanted a Georgia O'Keefe but I got a Picasso.

I got a Hieronymus Bosch.


I got a Jackson Pollock
 
2012-11-26 02:59:19 PM

Muta: Elzar: Tera Patrick model its game over.

Why Tera Patrick? You could drive a truck through that thing. I'd pic some chick from a Disney channel teeny-bopper show.


i149.photobucket.com
 
2012-11-26 02:59:42 PM
Is this where I link the latest Garfunkel&Oates video, or do I just quote the lyrics?
 
2012-11-26 03:01:30 PM

kid_icarus: The types of -- medically unnecessary -- procedures falling under the category of female genital cosmetic surgery (FGCS) included hymenoplasty, labiaplasty, "G-spot" amplication, and vaginal "rejuvenation" (the study's authors chose to put those certain words in quotations).

Moar power! MOAR!!


You'll be thankful when your lady doesn't stall out over the town pond while being chased by local vaginally enhanced superwomen.

www.toysnplaythings.co.uk 

/Hot as the first Jennifer
//Something something four stroke engine
///Please stop using slashies to improve the playground ladies.
 
2012-11-26 03:02:05 PM
cdn.pastemagazine.com

Eet's pronounced 'vajiña'.
 
2012-11-26 03:02:46 PM
"Vagina" is one of those words that just seems awkward in its plural form.
 
2012-11-26 03:02:46 PM
Probably just get banned if I post anything so I am going back to the politics tab
 
2012-11-26 03:03:04 PM
Ladies, there's nothing wrong with your vagina. Labia are nice. Guys like them. I myself prefer some meat drapes over a boring slit. And if you can't trust the opinion of a guy on the internet referring to your love pie as...well, love pie, who can you trust?
 
2012-11-26 03:03:10 PM
The 'Wide Open and Unregulated' Marketing of Vaginal Cosmetic Surgery

They're doing it wrong.
 
2012-11-26 03:03:37 PM

kungfu jesus with a side of lime: Muta: Elzar: Tera Patrick model its game over.

Why Tera Patrick? You could drive a truck through that thing. I'd pic some chick from a Disney channel teeny-bopper show.

you can have a seat over there...


No! Do you see it? Here's the beauty of this procedure. You can put a 14 y.o. 'tang on a 25 y.o. chick! You can do it and it's legal.
 
2012-11-26 03:05:04 PM
What the HELL does "Pete Well's review of Guy Fieri's new Times Square restaurant" have to do with this article?!
 
2012-11-26 03:05:43 PM

Muta: kungfu jesus with a side of lime: Muta: Elzar: Tera Patrick model its game over.

Why Tera Patrick? You could drive a truck through that thing. I'd pic some chick from a Disney channel teeny-bopper show.

you can have a seat over there...

No! Do you see it? Here's the beauty of this procedure. You can put a 14 y.o. 'tang on a 25 y.o. chick! You can do it and it's legal.


What 14 year old is going to agree with that swap?
 
2012-11-26 03:05:54 PM
www.bpallen.com
 
2012-11-26 03:05:55 PM
My buddies wife works at a plastic surgery place in out town (Roseville, CA) and you not believe the amount of girls (age 18-19) coming in there to get their flowers prettied up. I am always wondering who told them they do not look up to par? Are they watching porns and getting the idea that theirs do not look so hot?
 
2012-11-26 03:06:49 PM
Somehow the other day YouTube suggested this vid

vaginoplastia NSFW - fully explicit crotch shots only.

(maybe it was suggested cause s climbing with 4,359,315 views)

I thought the twat looked much better before it was corrected and get the feeling that it may have previously undergone a reduction of the clitoral hood.
 
2012-11-26 03:07:35 PM
Well, unless I am mistaken, a vagina proper is seen more often by a gyno than a husband or boyfriend. Aren't we talking labia here? The visible bits?
 
2012-11-26 03:07:45 PM
Also:

4.bp.blogspot.com
 
2012-11-26 03:08:00 PM
I wish Oprah was on, I'd like to hear from a bush doctor.
2.bp.blogspot.com
My imaginary wife has a bush like a Brillo pad. I have to wear Hot Pocket boxes for condoms.
 
2012-11-26 03:08:14 PM
If you check out the websites of doctors who perform this type of surgery, you'll find lots of galleries.

...Even with pics taken DURING the procedure.
 
2012-11-26 03:09:28 PM

doczoidberg: If you check out the websites of doctors who perform this type of surgery, you'll find lots of galleries.

...Even with pics taken DURING the procedure.



Hooray! My penis is dead!
 
2012-11-26 03:09:44 PM
What they need is a new coont, which is everything surrounding the vagina.
 
2012-11-26 03:11:03 PM

slayer199: I feel the same way about this as I do breast enhancement...leave that shiat alone. Ladies, your vaginas are beautiful as they are...no surgery is necessary....but please, please, please...wax your nether regions. I don't like looking like I fell of a bike and skinned my chin after a long session of giving oral.


Am I understanding you correctly.....

'Leave some things alone, but modify the things I think you should?'

Cause, I think we can agree, that leaves a lot of room for interpretation.
 
2012-11-26 03:11:23 PM
www.libertychippers.com
 
2012-11-26 03:12:12 PM

UsikFark: Also:

[4.bp.blogspot.com image 400x247]


WOO WOOOO
 
2012-11-26 03:12:36 PM

doczoidberg: If you check out the websites of doctors who perform this type of surgery, you'll find lots of galleries.


And everyone thought I was weird for suggesting it'd be cool to give a 25 y.o. the twat of a 14 y.o.
 
2012-11-26 03:13:30 PM

Muta: doczoidberg: If you check out the websites of doctors who perform this type of surgery, you'll find lots of galleries.

And everyone thought I was weird for suggesting it'd be cool to give a 25 y.o. the twat of a 14 y.o.


It's easier and less expensive to just get the real thing.
 
2012-11-26 03:13:43 PM

GoldDude: But who will do the wrinkle reduction procedure for the scrotum?


No, no, no, you don't want to get rid of the wrinkles on the scrotum. Reading those wrinkles is how they calculated the stock futures at the Exchange.
 
2012-11-26 03:14:01 PM

unyon: Ladies, all vaginas are beautiful. We're just happy to be there.

[www.google.ca image 350x233]


All beautiful? I wouldn't go so far as to say that myself. Some are visually quite nice to look at whereas some are just, well, just a vagina. But I don't care enough about what it looks like for it to make any real difference. And I bet most other men don't either.

I really like going down on a woman and yeah, I appreciate the sight of a 'neat' looking vagina. But that doesn't mean I'm going to just get up and leave if the girl has larger than average labia.

Also, ladies, if you don't want to wax or shave it, at least please trim the hair. Not too short though, cause then it's just stubble. I actually personally prefer the look of neat and trimmed to completely waxed.
 
2012-11-26 03:14:14 PM

StashMonster: God Is My Co-Pirate: I_C_Weener: I wanted a Georgia O'Keefe but I got a Picasso.

I got a Hieronymus Bosch.

I got a Jackson Pollock


As long as you can't hang it over a tree branch, like a Dali, you'll get no complaints from me.
 
2012-11-26 03:15:07 PM
Beware the Bearded Cthulhu!
 
2012-11-26 03:16:22 PM
cf.geekdo-images.com
 
2012-11-26 03:16:45 PM

The sound of one hand clapping: I actually personally prefer the look of neat and trimmed to completely waxed.


This x 1000!
 
2012-11-26 03:17:25 PM
BEDAZZLE YOUR VA-JAY-JAY!!!!!

4.bp.blogspot.com

IT'S QUICK, IT'S SIMPLE, IT'S EASY AND EVEN A CHILD CAN USE IT!!!

CALL NOW!~!!!
i.huffpost.com
 
2012-11-26 03:19:07 PM
Unbelievably, women seeking a "designer vagina" are misled by people without vaginas into thinking they'll get a new and improved vagina but they really end up with just a regular old vagina. Vagina

I dunno.

I am told women dress for themselves and other women, not for men.
And women buy shoes for themselves and other women, not for men.

And women get breast implants for themselves and not for men. So no looking or touching.

My guess is women get designer vaginas for themselves and are fooling themselves and it has little to do with being fooled by "people without vaginas".

(And is there any indication that the significant majority of these plastic surgeons are men and not women?)

My guess is that it's not the plastic surgeons hyping this and fooling women but the women focused women industrial complex -- all those websites, tabloids, gossip rags, all that shiat.

It seems women do a lot of this shiat to themselves and to other women.
 
2012-11-26 03:21:15 PM
"Unfortunately, like Pete Well's review of Guy Fieri's new Times Square restaurant, the researchers rated the information provided by clinicians offering such services as being overwhelmingly "poor.""

Really? Wow....
 
2012-11-26 03:22:01 PM

Tat'dGreaser: UsikFark: Also:

[4.bp.blogspot.com image 400x247]

WOO WOOOO


gothamist.com
 
2012-11-26 03:23:39 PM
All that work and it still smells and tastes the same.
 
2012-11-26 03:24:12 PM

RoyBatty: Unbelievably, women seeking a "designer vagina" are misled by people without vaginas into thinking they'll get a new and improved vagina but they really end up with just a regular old vagina. Vagina

I dunno.

I am told women dress for themselves and other women, not for men.
And women buy shoes for themselves and other women, not for men.

And women get breast implants for themselves and not for men. So no looking or touching.

My guess is women get designer vaginas for themselves and are fooling themselves and it has little to do with being fooled by "people without vaginas".

(And is there any indication that the significant majority of these plastic surgeons are men and not women?)

My guess is that it's not the plastic surgeons hyping this and fooling women but the women focused women industrial complex -- all those websites, tabloids, gossip rags, all that shiat.

It seems women do a lot of this shiat to themselves and to other women.


Yup.
 
2012-11-26 03:24:49 PM

GoldDude: Sure designer vaginas are a piece of cake. But who will do the wrinkle reduction procedure for the scrotum?


Meeee, I has a flatiron with which I iron my shirt plackets. Takes aaaalllll the wrinkles right out.
 
2012-11-26 03:25:03 PM

slayer199: I....but please, please, please...wax your nether regions. I don't like looking like I fell of a bike and skinned my chin after a long session of giving oral.


As the comedian Mitch Fatel said (I'm summarizing), "I didn't think vagina could get any better. And then, the ladies gave it improved visibility!!"
 
2012-11-26 03:25:04 PM
Best sing along vagina song/video ever - Storm LargeLink
 
2012-11-26 03:25:29 PM
encrypted-tbn2.gstatic.com
 
2012-11-26 03:26:54 PM

StashMonster: God Is My Co-Pirate: I_C_Weener: I wanted a Georgia O'Keefe but I got a Picasso.

I got a Hieronymus Bosch.

I got a Jackson Pollock


Mine's an Escher.
 
2012-11-26 03:26:57 PM
FTFA: Every girl has that time in her life when, either out of boredom, curiosity, or something more deeply rooted in bodily dissatisfaction, she Googles her options for "altering her vulval morphology."


Every girl, really?

That's interesting, because I have never noticed that phrase in Google trends.


/honestly, where *do* they come up with these ledes?
 
2012-11-26 03:27:22 PM
Nothing new, I had my penis redesigned by Pole-O by Ralph Lengthen.
 
2012-11-26 03:28:17 PM

AbbeySomeone: Best sing along vagina song/video ever - Storm LargeLink


That song doesn't make vaginae better, it makes music worse. Also, she needs to strengthen those muscles.
 
2012-11-26 03:28:38 PM

UsikFark: Tat'dGreaser: UsikFark: Also:

[4.bp.blogspot.com image 400x247]

WOO WOOOO

[gothamist.com image 225x187]


I miss Bubb Rubb so much
 
2012-11-26 03:29:29 PM

More_Like_A_Stain: StashMonster: God Is My Co-Pirate: I_C_Weener: I wanted a Georgia O'Keefe but I got a Picasso.

I got a Hieronymus Bosch.

I got a Jackson Pollock


I got a rock

4.bp.blogspot.com

 
2012-11-26 03:30:58 PM
Women are insecure enough about their bodies to all kinds of crazy shiat, which includes freaky sex, so just leave this alone guys. Leave. This. Alone.
 
2012-11-26 03:32:16 PM

wambu: All that work and it still smells and tastes the same.


I think they make it tighter, like after you have a few kids, it gets all stretched out and droopy. That's what I hear, anyway. I don't think it makes that much difference. It's sad that people can afford this kind of stuff but they go bankrupt if they actually get sick.
 
2012-11-26 03:33:40 PM
Hm. No.

My equipment may not be the newest model, but has received several compliments through the years so I see no reason to put my gal up on the rack.



/landing strip
 
2012-11-26 03:33:54 PM
I'd prefer if they'd locate the vagina above the pubic bone rather than below it. Further from ass and easier childbirth. Win win right there.
 
2012-11-26 03:34:22 PM
Sounds like they know as much about the vagina as the average Farker.
 
2012-11-26 03:34:30 PM

Lex A. Preau: FTFA: Every girl has that time in her life when, either out of boredom, curiosity, or something more deeply rooted in bodily dissatisfaction, she Googles her options for "altering her vulval morphology."


Every girl, really?

That's interesting, because I have never noticed that phrase in Google trends.


/honestly, where *do* they come up with these ledes?


Came to say this... and that I just asked a few of my female friends and, either they're all lying, or the article is.

Side note, guys, if you're curious - don't bother giving "altering her vulval morphology" a GIS... unless the following type if picture is your thing:

ars.els-cdn.com
 
2012-11-26 03:34:40 PM
As for me, I enjoy thick, wet, full, engorged labia when I sit down to feast upon my Special Lady's secret garden. It is the Sanctum sanctorum of all glory and honor, a moistened grotto whereupon I may pay homage and tribute to all the creative force of the universe, from an ancient explosion of ten million stars to the eruption and shift of continents to the trembling convulsions of my lover in the throes of orgasm, such is the wonder and brilliance and majesty of La Vagine. It is in this holy place, a garden possessed by every woman who ever lived; as common as the soil, and yet each more precious than the most refined cognac, the most perfect pearl, the pristine petals of the new-blossomed rose. Oh, to lay supine in awe and reverence as I draw the tender bloom into my mouth, to stroke and massage with my tongue, to paint and caress lovingly, to taste the sweet nectar, feel the supple kiss and full, ripe, press of her delicate secrets against my lips.
 
2012-11-26 03:35:39 PM
MORE LIKE IRREGULAR. AMIRITE? AMIRITE? AMIRITE? Weet Woot.
 
2012-11-26 03:37:04 PM

Abe Vigoda's Ghost: The 'Wide Open and Unregulated' Marketing of Vaginal Cosmetic Surgery

They're doing it wrong.


991.com
 
2012-11-26 03:37:50 PM

AngryJailhouseFistfark: As for me, I enjoy thick, wet, full, engorged labia when I sit down to feast upon my Special Lady's secret garden. It is the Sanctum sanctorum of all glory and honor, a moistened grotto whereupon I may pay homage and tribute to all the creative force of the universe, from an ancient explosion of ten million stars to the eruption and shift of continents to the trembling convulsions of my lover in the throes of orgasm, such is the wonder and brilliance and majesty of La Vagine. It is in this holy place, a garden possessed by every woman who ever lived; as common as the soil, and yet each more precious than the most refined cognac, the most perfect pearl, the pristine petals of the new-blossomed rose. Oh, to lay supine in awe and reverence as I draw the tender bloom into my mouth, to stroke and massage with my tongue, to paint and caress lovingly, to taste the sweet nectar, feel the supple kiss and full, ripe, press of her delicate secrets against my lips.


What millennium is this? Holy cow thar was like Shakespeare, cyrano debergerac, and Jeffry Daumier rolled into one smelly-faced weirdo.
 
2012-11-26 03:38:26 PM

AngryJailhouseFistfark: ...Oh, to lay supine in awe and reverence as I draw the tender bloom into my mouth, to stroke and massage with my tongue, to paint and caress lovingly, to taste the sweet nectar, feel the supple kiss and full, ripe, press of her delicate secrets against my lips.


Except it turns into a smelly, misshapen, unshaven source of all things disastrous and unholy once crazy or pregnant AMIRITE?!?
 
2012-11-26 03:39:25 PM

the_end_is_rear: My buddies wife works at a plastic surgery place in out town (Roseville, CA) and you not believe the amount of girls (age 18-19) coming in there to get their flowers prettied up. I am always wondering who told them they do not look up to par? Are they watching porns and getting the idea that theirs do not look so hot?


Holy fark, what is wrong with this country?
 
2012-11-26 03:39:37 PM
What is this thread about? Seems to have something to do with vaginas, but I can't be sure without a few hundred more references.

moothemagiccow: I think they make it tighter, like after you have a few kids, it gets all stretched out and droopy. That's what I hear, anyway. I don't think it makes that much difference. It's sad that people can afford this kind of stuff but they go bankrupt if they actually get sick.


A friend's wife had this done after the birth of their third child. It was a pretty simple procedure. He said it was as if she was teenager again; they both very much appreciated this. You don't think it makes much of a difference? I don't think you've been in many vagina. There's a big difference between a tight vagina and one that's been stretched out by pushing out kiddies.
 
2012-11-26 03:42:10 PM

mcwehrle: My equipment may not be the newest model, but has received several compliments through the years so I see no reason to put my gal up on the rack.



/landing strip




How you doin'?
 
2012-11-26 03:43:37 PM
Now if only they could do something about the smell.
 
2012-11-26 03:44:20 PM
"A woman might have a face lift and look really young until she goes to bed and a partner can see the evidence of ageing there."

www.baseballglovecollector.com
 
2012-11-26 03:46:00 PM
can't help the looks, but kegals can pretty much solve all the other issues unless it's just really bad genetics
 
2012-11-26 03:46:13 PM

JackieRabbit: What is this thread about? Seems to have something to do with vaginas, but I can't be sure without a few hundred more references.

moothemagiccow: I think they make it tighter, like after you have a few kids, it gets all stretched out and droopy. That's what I hear, anyway. I don't think it makes that much difference. It's sad that people can afford this kind of stuff but they go bankrupt if they actually get sick.

A friend's wife had this done after the birth of their third child. It was a pretty simple procedure. He said it was as if she was teenager again; they both very much appreciated this. You don't think it makes much of a difference? I don't think you've been in many vagina. There's a big difference between a tight vagina and one that's been stretched out by pushing out kiddies.


Yeah, I guess if you just lay there like a wet blanket and let your hoo hoo blow in the wind. How about having some control of you pubic muscles? It benefits both parties if the vagina is a well trained athlete and not a windsock.
 
2012-11-26 03:46:23 PM

I_C_Weener: I wanted a Georgia O'Keefe but I got a Picasso.


Hey, as long as you don't get a vagina dentata, it's all good...
 
2012-11-26 03:48:01 PM

CheekyMonkey: I_C_Weener: I wanted a Georgia O'Keefe but I got a Picasso.

Hey, as long as you don't get a vagina dentata, it's all good...


Hey, as long as you don't post something that someone posted AN HOUR AGO, it's all good.

/cue internet tough guy.
 
2012-11-26 03:49:58 PM
I just came in here to say

SNATCHLASTICITY !!

/100 posts and I'm the first to say it?
//yall are out of practice
 
2012-11-26 03:50:43 PM
dnr.wi.gov 

I think we can help you...
 
2012-11-26 03:51:18 PM

Raharu: Thread is useless without before and after pics.


As well as unaltered "control" vaginas. For science.
 
2012-11-26 03:51:40 PM

I_C_Weener: I wanted a Georgia O'Keefe but I got a Picasso.


i236.photobucket.com
 
2012-11-26 03:52:25 PM

JackieRabbit: What is this thread about? Seems to have something to do with vaginas, but I can't be sure without a few hundred more references.

moothemagiccow: I think they make it tighter, like after you have a few kids, it gets all stretched out and droopy. That's what I hear, anyway. I don't think it makes that much difference. It's sad that people can afford this kind of stuff but they go bankrupt if they actually get sick.

A friend's wife had this done after the birth of their third child. It was a pretty simple procedure. He said it was as if she was teenager again; they both very much appreciated this. You don't think it makes much of a difference? I don't think you've been in many vagina. There's a big difference between a tight vagina and one that's been stretched out by pushing out kiddies.


Childbirth doesn't automatically mean it's been somehow permanently stretched out. It's not something that is a 100% universal result for all women.
 
2012-11-26 03:52:46 PM
I'm all for this. Can they do rippled, extra spongy, or super-soaker yet?
 
2012-11-26 03:52:53 PM
Hey hey hey
s3-ak.buzzfed.com
 
2012-11-26 03:55:01 PM

middleoftheday: "Vagina" is one of those words that just seems awkward in its plural form.


Vaginii?
Vaginae?
 
2012-11-26 03:55:40 PM

WhippingBoy: Now if only they could do something about the smell.


2.bp.blogspot.com
 
2012-11-26 03:57:57 PM
Don't worry maam, I'm a licensed Interior Decorator.
 
2012-11-26 03:58:50 PM
I honestly LOL'd my way all the way through this thread.

That is impressive for a Monday. Well done
 
2012-11-26 03:59:28 PM

Eddie Adams from Torrance: I_C_Weener: I wanted a Georgia O'Keefe but I got a Picasso.

i47.tinypic.com


FTFY
 
2012-11-26 03:59:33 PM

RoyBatty: Unbelievably, women seeking a "designer vagina" are misled by people without vaginas into thinking they'll get a new and improved vagina but they really end up with just a regular old vagina. Vagina

I dunno.

I am told women dress for themselves and other women, not for men.
And women buy shoes for themselves and other women, not for men.

And women get breast implants for themselves and not for men. So no looking or touching.

My guess is women get designer vaginas for themselves and are fooling themselves and it has little to do with being fooled by "people without vaginas".

(And is there any indication that the significant majority of these plastic surgeons are men and not women?)

My guess is that it's not the plastic surgeons hyping this and fooling women but the women focused women industrial complex -- all those websites, tabloids, gossip rags, all that shiat.

It seems women do a lot of this shiat to themselves and to other women.



LMFAO, now that's funny right there. I don't care you who you are.

*golf clap*
 
2012-11-26 04:00:33 PM

JackieRabbit: What is this thread about? Seems to have something to do with vaginas, but I can't be sure without a few hundred more references.

moothemagiccow: I think they make it tighter, like after you have a few kids, it gets all stretched out and droopy. That's what I hear, anyway. I don't think it makes that much difference. It's sad that people can afford this kind of stuff but they go bankrupt if they actually get sick.

A friend's wife had this done after the birth of their third child. It was a pretty simple procedure. He said it was as if she was teenager again; they both very much appreciated this. You don't think it makes much of a difference? I don't think you've been in many vagina. There's a big difference between a tight vagina and one that's been stretched out by pushing out kiddies.


I was married for 15 years. was with her from her childless years until we had 3 kids. sex was great, her vagina, while not as tight as a clenched fist in the end, had good control and great muscles. There never really was much difference from no kids to three. those things bounce back.

divorced. girlfriend was younger than i and childless. Sex was good - TIGHT but not much else going on.

now with new wife (well, been with her for 4 years now), younger than me, has had 1 child. Sex is amazing. tight, good control, squeezes me in ways I had no idea a vagina could work.

in short.... there really isn't that much difference.
 
2012-11-26 04:01:51 PM
 
2012-11-26 04:02:35 PM

amquelbettamin: I'd prefer if they'd locate the vagina above the pubic bone rather than below it. Further from ass and easier childbirth. Win win right there.


Sorry no can do, the longer the vajayjay the less likely an infected baybay. Greater distance immune system blah blah.

/sorry
//had to go and serious the thread
 
2012-11-26 04:04:34 PM

SirEattonHogg: slayer199

2012-11-26 02:34:19 PM

I feel the same way about this as I do breast enhancement...leave that shiat alone. Ladies, your vaginas are beautiful as they are...no surgery is necessary....but please, please, please...wax your nether regions. I don't like looking like I fell of a bike and skinned my chin after a long session of giving oral


Or leave it au natural. Hairy is back.


Bleh, do not like hair in my mouth. At least groom it short. I shave myself, it feels a lot better.
 
2012-11-26 04:06:18 PM

AgentKGB: *NOT WORK SAFE IN ANY WAY SHAPE OR FORM*

don't worry I'm providing brain bleach as well

*NOT WORK SAFE*

*NOT WORK SAFE*


Third one is yummy, love feeling the lips wrapped around me.
 
2012-11-26 04:06:36 PM
hegemonyheights.files.wordpress.com

Is this the place?
 
2012-11-26 04:06:46 PM

Fark Rye For Many Whores: amquelbettamin: I'd prefer if they'd locate the vagina above the pubic bone rather than below it. Further from ass and easier childbirth. Win win right there.

Sorry no can do, the longer the vajayjay the less likely an infected baybay. Greater distance immune system blah blah.

/sorry
//had to go and serious the thread


Shoot there goes my lifelong dream to start the above pubic bone movement. Thought it might help with uti and yeast infections as well.
 
2012-11-26 04:06:49 PM

Keizer_Ghidorah: SirEattonHogg: slayer199

2012-11-26 02:34:19 PM

I feel the same way about this as I do breast enhancement...leave that shiat alone. Ladies, your vaginas are beautiful as they are...no surgery is necessary....but please, please, please...wax your nether regions. I don't like looking like I fell of a bike and skinned my chin after a long session of giving oral


Or leave it au natural. Hairy is back.

Bleh, do not like hair in my mouth. At least groom it short. I shave myself, it feels a lot better.


i say just deal with it. oral is not for the guy's pleasure, it's for the ladies. you get hair in your mouth, that's life. probably less offensive than what women get in their mouth when they reciprocate. and normal sex is better when there's a hair.  so, deal with it.
 
2012-11-26 04:07:42 PM

FunkOut: JackieRabbit: What is this thread about? Seems to have something to do with vaginas, but I can't be sure without a few hundred more references.

moothemagiccow: I think they make it tighter, like after you have a few kids, it gets all stretched out and droopy. That's what I hear, anyway. I don't think it makes that much difference. It's sad that people can afford this kind of stuff but they go bankrupt if they actually get sick.

A friend's wife had this done after the birth of their third child. It was a pretty simple procedure. He said it was as if she was teenager again; they both very much appreciated this. You don't think it makes much of a difference? I don't think you've been in many vagina. There's a big difference between a tight vagina and one that's been stretched out by pushing out kiddies.

Childbirth doesn't automatically mean it's been somehow permanently stretched out. It's not something that is a 100% universal result for all women.


Not a child, but three or four? Oh yes. Age will do it too. Kegel's can help a lot but can only do so much.
 
2012-11-26 04:08:04 PM
Once again women: We are not that particular when it comes to your vulval we are just happy to see it. The only thing that would be even a slight issue is labia if they are really large.
 
2012-11-26 04:08:34 PM

Fano: Vaginae?


I think this is the correct one, but... WOMEN ONLY HAVE ONE PASSION FLOWER.
 
2012-11-26 04:09:28 PM

ChipNASA: CheekyMonkey: I_C_Weener: I wanted a Georgia O'Keefe but I got a Picasso.

Hey, as long as you don't get a vagina dentata, it's all good...

Hey, as long as you don't post something that someone posted AN HOUR AGO, it's all good.

/cue internet tough guy.


We're talking about vaginas. It's all good anyway. Well, unless the blue waffle makes an appearance.

\so sorry I don't read ALL the comments BEFORE posting
\\not really sorry
 
2012-11-26 04:12:12 PM
Regular old cracker vagina, eh?

chewiesconcerts.files.wordpress.com

NSFW language
 
2012-11-26 04:12:34 PM

amquelbettamin: Shoot there goes my lifelong dream to start the above pubic bone movement. Thought it might help with uti and yeast infections as well.


Start from the mouth, oral is mandatory there's no other way, sorry if she wanted to get comfortable while we do it. Bonus: Even greater distance to the baby bag.
 
2012-11-26 04:13:03 PM

middleoftheday: Except it turns into a smelly, misshapen, unshaven source of all things disastrous and unholy once crazy or pregnant AMIRITE?!?


May it never be! No, not at all. Well, the crazy's got nothing to do with it, as that resides at the other end of the ship. But the childbirthing only improves on things. Those cruel hours in which the baby is extruded through that silken portal serve to open the gates wider, that they may hold more of the lifeblood and warmth and become even fuller in their elegant presentation. As Khalil Gibran said, "The deeper that sorrow carves into your being the more joy you can contain. Is not the cup that holds your wine the very cup that was burned in the potter's oven?"

So it is for her Templum Vulvari. While the uninitiated and ill informed may wince and recoil in horror and revulsion, it is the true devotees of her salmon colored halls who rejoice in the increase, for so much greater is the joy and satisfaction for all who partake, and each of whom is but a star in the heavens that, together, are her pleasures. Behold, the font of all vitality, Vagine.
 
2012-11-26 04:15:13 PM

JackieRabbit: What is this thread about? Seems to have something to do with vaginas, but I can't be sure without a few hundred more references.

moothemagiccow: I think they make it tighter, like after you have a few kids, it gets all stretched out and droopy. That's what I hear, anyway. I don't think it makes that much difference. It's sad that people can afford this kind of stuff but they go bankrupt if they actually get sick.

A friend's wife had this done after the birth of their third child. It was a pretty simple procedure. He said it was as if she was teenager again; they both very much appreciated this. You don't think it makes much of a difference? I don't think you've been in many vagina. There's a big difference between a tight vagina and one that's been stretched out by pushing out kiddies.


If your friend had gotten his lazy biatch to do a few kegels, he wouldn't have had to spend 10 grand.

Also, there are plenty of women having plastic surgery down there just because they don't like the look of their labia. It has nothing to do with being stretched out. I had this conversation a few months ago with my girlfriend:

Her: My vagina's ugly.
Me: Have I ever complained about it?
Her: No.
Me: Has anyone else ever complained about it?
Her: No.
Me: So what's the problem, again?
 
2012-11-26 04:19:30 PM

The Angry Hand of God: Like a basset hound with a miner's helmet.


I just wanted to take a second to tell you that you are awesome...
 
2012-11-26 04:19:37 PM
i911.photobucket.com
 
2012-11-26 04:20:01 PM
And here's a tip, boys: Sure, it's one of the goddamn silliest looking things on God's Green Earth, but the next time you go down on her (which should be next time you enjoin her in any form of sexual congress), remember that it costs you nothing, NOTHING, to say, "My god, what a beautiful pussy you have!", before you commence performing your oral ministrations.
 
2012-11-26 04:22:04 PM

AngryJailhouseFistfark: Behold, the font of all vitality, Vagine.


Very nice.

And you know, vagina is easier to find than Mecca. In case you've fashioned that sort of prayer and all.
 
2012-11-26 04:22:26 PM
thread/useless/pics etc etc
 
2012-11-26 04:23:45 PM

MoronLessOff: Ladies, before considering cosmetic surgery, you really should get an outside opinion. For anyone considering such a procedure, I would be more than happy to offer a free assessment of the concerned area to determine whether or not the procedure would be beneficial. All materials provided will remain confidential.


How charitable. *snerk*

I think this is ridiculous. No man really cares what your vag looks like as long as it doesn't look like a peen.
 
2012-11-26 04:25:11 PM

JackieRabbit:

A friend's wife had this done after the birth of their third child. It was a pretty simple procedure. He said it was as if she was teenager again; they both very much appreciated this. You don't think it makes much of a difference? I don't think you've been in many vagina. There's a big difference between a tight vagina and one that's been stretched out by pushing out kiddies.


All women's vaginas get tight when they are achieving orgasm. If it's loose, then you're not doing your job.
 
2012-11-26 04:27:19 PM
Belgium.
 
2012-11-26 04:30:36 PM
FTFA: Surgery, various clinicians promise, can improve "disharmony and resentment " in relationships and allow the patient to "feel like a real woman again."

If your partner is resentful about the imperfections of your labia, the main thing you need to "feel like a real woman again" is a new partner.
 
2012-11-26 04:34:00 PM

kiwimoogle84: MoronLessOff: Ladies, before considering cosmetic surgery, you really should get an outside opinion. For anyone considering such a procedure, I would be more than happy to offer a free assessment of the concerned area to determine whether or not the procedure would be beneficial. All materials provided will remain confidential.

How charitable. *snerk*

I think this is ridiculous. No man really cares what your vag looks like as long as it doesn't look like a peen.


This. I spend a good amount of my time down there with my eyes closed anyway.
 
2012-11-26 04:34:12 PM

AngryJailhouseFistfark: And here's a tip, boys: Sure, it's one of the goddamn silliest looking things on God's Green Earth, but the next time you go down on her (which should be next time you enjoin her in any form of sexual congress), remember that it costs you nothing, NOTHING, to say, "My god, what a beautiful pussy you have!", before you commence performing your oral ministrations.


This is one of the creepiest things I've ever read on here
 
2012-11-26 04:35:34 PM

God Is My Co-Pirate: I_C_Weener: I wanted a Georgia O'Keefe but I got a Picasso.

I got a Hieronymus Bosch.


How about a Jackson Pollack?
 
2012-11-26 04:36:58 PM

SuperChuck: kiwimoogle84: MoronLessOff: Ladies, before considering cosmetic surgery, you really should get an outside opinion. For anyone considering such a procedure, I would be more than happy to offer a free assessment of the concerned area to determine whether or not the procedure would be beneficial. All materials provided will remain confidential.

How charitable. *snerk*

I think this is ridiculous. No man really cares what your vag looks like as long as it doesn't look like a peen.

This. I spend a good amount of my time down there with my eyes closed anyway.


Not me... I like to look.
 
2012-11-26 04:38:04 PM

kiwimoogle84: No man really cares what your vag looks like


Just how it tastes.
 
2012-11-26 04:40:02 PM

amquelbettamin: Hey hey hey
[s3-ak.buzzfed.com image 300x427]


Yummy!
 
2012-11-26 04:43:26 PM

God Is My Co-Pirate: I_C_Weener: I wanted a Georgia O'Keefe but I got a Picasso.

I got a Hieronymus Bosch.


Yours came with a flute stuck in it?
 
2012-11-26 04:43:46 PM

pute kisses like a man: Keizer_Ghidorah: SirEattonHogg: slayer199

2012-11-26 02:34:19 PM

I feel the same way about this as I do breast enhancement...leave that shiat alone. Ladies, your vaginas are beautiful as they are...no surgery is necessary....but please, please, please...wax your nether regions. I don't like looking like I fell of a bike and skinned my chin after a long session of giving oral


Or leave it au natural. Hairy is back.

Bleh, do not like hair in my mouth. At least groom it short. I shave myself, it feels a lot better.

i say just deal with it. oral is not for the guy's pleasure, it's for the ladies. you get hair in your mouth, that's life. probably less offensive than what women get in their mouth when they reciprocate. and normal sex is better when there's a hair.  so, deal with it.


Hey, I like to taste flesh, and so does the woman, which is another reason I shave. I also don't jizz in her mouth unless she wants it.
 
2012-11-26 04:46:37 PM

Keizer_Ghidorah: pute kisses like a man: Keizer_Ghidorah: SirEattonHogg: slayer199

2012-11-26 02:34:19 PM

I feel the same way about this as I do breast enhancement...leave that shiat alone. Ladies, your vaginas are beautiful as they are...no surgery is necessary....but please, please, please...wax your nether regions. I don't like looking like I fell of a bike and skinned my chin after a long session of giving oral


Or leave it au natural. Hairy is back.

Bleh, do not like hair in my mouth. At least groom it short. I shave myself, it feels a lot better.

i say just deal with it. oral is not for the guy's pleasure, it's for the ladies. you get hair in your mouth, that's life. probably less offensive than what women get in their mouth when they reciprocate. and normal sex is better when there's a hair.  so, deal with it.

Hey, I like to taste flesh, and so does the woman, which is another reason I shave. I also don't jizz in her mouth unless she wants it.


What a gentleman!
 
2012-11-26 04:52:58 PM
BLUE WAFFLE BLUE WAFFLE BLUE WAFFLE BLUE WAFFLE
 
2012-11-26 04:54:50 PM

Pincy: the_end_is_rear: My buddies wife works at a plastic surgery place in out town (Roseville, CA) and you not believe the amount of girls (age 18-19) coming in there to get their flowers prettied up. I am always wondering who told them they do not look up to par? Are they watching porns and getting the idea that theirs do not look so hot?

Holy fark, what is wrong with this country?


Just about everything.
 
2012-11-26 04:56:01 PM
Has anyone else here read Drop Dead Healthy by AJ Jacobs? That guy found a doctor that was performing surgery on people to lower the tone of their farts. Seriously.
 
2012-11-26 04:59:47 PM

SueDisco: Has anyone else here read Drop Dead Healthy by AJ Jacobs? That guy found a doctor that was performing surgery on people to lower the tone of their farts. Seriously.


Does he do the opposite? I would love to raise mine a few octaves, go for the Bruce Dickinson effect.
 
2012-11-26 05:00:03 PM

MoronLessOff: kiwimoogle84: No man really cares what your vag looks like

Just how it tastes.


Yeah, I've gotten compliments on taste/smell before, and I honestly think that's weird... Don't ALL women keep themselves clean and hygienic?

I guess I have nothing to base it on since I've only tasted one and it was a LONG, drunken time ago, but good genital hygiene seems like a must anytime you even THINK you might be getting lucky.
 
2012-11-26 05:00:14 PM
There's tell of a woman from Wake Forest,
Who had a gigantic clitoris.
Her friends, you see,
Thought her name was "Marie,"
But her intimates knew her as "Horace."
 
2012-11-26 05:00:59 PM

kiwimoogle84: I've only tasted one


Go on...
 
2012-11-26 05:03:32 PM

the_end_is_rear: My buddies wife works at a plastic surgery place in out town (Roseville, CA) and you not believe the amount of girls (age 18-19) coming in there to get their flowers prettied up. I am always wondering who told them they do not look up to par? Are they watching porns and getting the idea that theirs do not look so hot?


Roseville is also full of trust fund twunts who are so spoiled they were all featured on My Super Sweet Sixteen. If I could I'd nuke that place from orbit. That and Serrano.

They've all run out of things to buy so they go all Heidi Montag on themselves. It's so sad.

/went to ORHS
//hates humanity
 
2012-11-26 05:05:12 PM

whipbambucket: God Is My Co-Pirate: I_C_Weener: I wanted a Georgia O'Keefe but I got a Picasso.

I got a Hieronymus Bosch.

How about a Jackson Pollack?


Shoulda kept reading. I believe this was covered.
How about a Where's Waldo?

/got nothin
 
2012-11-26 05:06:19 PM

kiwimoogle84: the_end_is_rear: My buddies wife works at a plastic surgery place in out town (Roseville, CA) and you not believe the amount of girls (age 18-19) coming in there to get their flowers prettied up. I am always wondering who told them they do not look up to par? Are they watching porns and getting the idea that theirs do not look so hot?

Roseville is also full of trust fund twunts who are so spoiled they were all featured on My Super Sweet Sixteen. If I could I'd nuke that place from orbit. That and Serrano.

They've all run out of things to buy so they go all Heidi Montag on themselves. It's so sad.

/went to ORHS
//hates humanity


Click it, you'll like it.
 
2012-11-26 05:08:05 PM
I really don't think any surgery is necessary when you have two other holes to choose from. These prudes just need to get more into oral and anal, and give their pussy some time to snap back into place.
 
2012-11-26 05:08:39 PM

MoronLessOff: kiwimoogle84: the_end_is_rear: My buddies wife works at a plastic surgery place in out town (Roseville, CA) and you not believe the amount of girls (age 18-19) coming in there to get their flowers prettied up. I am always wondering who told them they do not look up to par? Are they watching porns and getting the idea that theirs do not look so hot?

Roseville is also full of trust fund twunts who are so spoiled they were all featured on My Super Sweet Sixteen. If I could I'd nuke that place from orbit. That and Serrano.

They've all run out of things to buy so they go all Heidi Montag on themselves. It's so sad.

/went to ORHS
//hates humanity

Click it, you'll like it.


Very Mighty Mighty Bosstones. :)

And seriously. If moneyed whores HAD an island, it'd be located 25 miles NE of Sacramento.
 
2012-11-26 05:10:57 PM

PerilousApricot: I'm normally generous with using my mouth, but nobody likes a gorillas sandwich. It's really distracting to have to stop and sneeze.


Or pull the pubic dental floss out of your mouth.
 
2012-11-26 05:11:54 PM
Nothing could be finer.
 
2012-11-26 05:12:58 PM
On a serious note, women could probably have better success than surgery by exercising their Kegel muscles.
 
2012-11-26 05:13:29 PM
Mario Puzo covered this decades ago.
 
2012-11-26 05:14:31 PM
No farking way. Unless I have meat curtains hanging to my knees and it interferes with walking, no ones cutting up my girly spot. Have they started marketing 'Sack lifts' to men yet?
 
2012-11-26 05:15:06 PM

kiwimoogle84: Don't ALL women keep themselves clean and hygienic?


I want to live in that world.
 
2012-11-26 05:19:07 PM
Ladies... don't be discouraged, we appreciate the effort.
 
2012-11-26 05:22:57 PM

cyks: kiwimoogle84: Don't ALL women keep themselves clean and hygienic?


I want to live in that world.


I'll just add that to the already lengthy list of things I want to slap some women for. Shudder.

YOU'RE MAKING US ALL LOOK BAD!

Ladies, WET WIPES.

Just saying.

Also, if you VOLUNTARILY squeeze during sex, you're not only enduring you stay nice and tight, but he loves it. Really.
 
2012-11-26 05:24:20 PM

kiwimoogle84: cyks: kiwimoogle84: Don't ALL women keep themselves clean and hygienic?


I want to live in that world.

I'll just add that to the already lengthy list of things I want to slap some women for. Shudder.

YOU'RE MAKING US ALL LOOK BAD!

Ladies, WET WIPES.

Just saying.

Also, if you VOLUNTARILY squeeze during sex, you're not only enduring you stay nice and tight, but he loves it. Really.


Enduring : ensuring.
 
2012-11-26 05:34:48 PM
somechum.com

Mulva?

/not sure this has anything to do with this thread.
 
2012-11-26 05:36:23 PM

kiwimoogle84: cyks: kiwimoogle84: Don't ALL women keep themselves clean and hygienic?


I want to live in that world.

I'll just add that to the already lengthy list of things I want to slap some women for. Shudder.

YOU'RE MAKING US ALL LOOK BAD!

Ladies, WET WIPES.

Just saying.

Also, if you VOLUNTARILY squeeze during sex, you're not only enduring you stay nice and tight, but he loves it. Really.


Maybe I'm wrong, but I would think a wet wipe, or baby wipe would leave a slight residue that would taste funky. I'm sure it would smell nice though.

And yes, yes we do love it when they squeeze on occasion.
 
2012-11-26 05:38:00 PM

Dingleberry Dickwad: kiwimoogle84: cyks: kiwimoogle84: Don't ALL women keep themselves clean and hygienic?


I want to live in that world.

I'll just add that to the already lengthy list of things I want to slap some women for. Shudder.

YOU'RE MAKING US ALL LOOK BAD!

Ladies, WET WIPES.

Just saying.

Also, if you VOLUNTARILY squeeze during sex, you're not only enduring you stay nice and tight, but he loves it. Really.

Maybe I'm wrong, but I would think a wet wipe, or baby wipe would leave a slight residue that would taste funky. I'm sure it would smell nice though.

And yes, yes we do love it when they squeeze on occasion.


All women should keep unscented wipes handy. Pre and post sex. Tested and true.

And it's not just that. If I hear one more guy complain that his girl is a dead fish in bed I'm going to throttle someone. WHAT'S WRONG WITH PEOPLE?!?
 
2012-11-26 05:40:34 PM
That stinks.
 
2012-11-26 05:43:26 PM

kiwimoogle84: Dingleberry Dickwad: kiwimoogle84: cyks: kiwimoogle84: Don't ALL women keep themselves clean and hygienic?


I want to live in that world.

I'll just add that to the already lengthy list of things I want to slap some women for. Shudder.

YOU'RE MAKING US ALL LOOK BAD!

Ladies, WET WIPES.

Just saying.

Also, if you VOLUNTARILY squeeze during sex, you're not only enduring you stay nice and tight, but he loves it. Really.

Maybe I'm wrong, but I would think a wet wipe, or baby wipe would leave a slight residue that would taste funky. I'm sure it would smell nice though.

And yes, yes we do love it when they squeeze on occasion.

All women should keep unscented wipes handy. Pre and post sex. Tested and true.

And it's not just that. If I hear one more guy complain that his girl is a dead fish in bed I'm going to throttle someone. WHAT'S WRONG WITH PEOPLE?!?


I've only ever had one of those. And I mean complete dead fish. Didn't move her legs, didn't move her arms, nothing, not even kissing or anything. Just laid there legs spread, arms flat on the bed, made a few minor moans and that's about it. Needless to say we didn't last long together.

/and no it wasn't that time I used chloroform on this one girl...
 
2012-11-26 05:44:19 PM
www.midlifegamer.net
 
2012-11-26 05:52:42 PM

the_end_is_rear: Are they watching porns and getting the idea that theirs do not look so hot?


As likely making them, and the producer/pimp says that's gotta get surgeryized. Which leads to more insane surgeries in a feedback loop.
 
2012-11-26 05:58:54 PM

kiwimoogle84: the_end_is_rear: My buddies wife works at a plastic surgery place in out town (Roseville, CA) and you not believe the amount of girls (age 18-19) coming in there to get their flowers prettied up. I am always wondering who told them they do not look up to par? Are they watching porns and getting the idea that theirs do not look so hot?

Roseville is also full of trust fund twunts who are so spoiled they were all featured on My Super Sweet Sixteen. If I could I'd nuke that place from orbit. That and Serrano.

They've all run out of things to buy so they go all Heidi Montag on themselves. It's so sad.

/went to ORHS
//hates humanity


I live in Roseville, so first...Fark you. My wife and I are from from trust fund twunts.
Most of those "twunts" you speak of come from Granite Bay or El Dorado Hills. Mommy and Daddy have lots of $$$ to spend on their little angels and send them away for the weekend so they can have their swing parties.
We moved from Sacramento county, where it was common for the female tweekers to get enough money to afford boob jobs.
Visualize that.....not pretty.
 
2012-11-26 06:02:04 PM

the_end_is_rear: kiwimoogle84: the_end_is_rear: My buddies wife works at a plastic surgery place in out town (Roseville, CA) and you not believe the amount of girls (age 18-19) coming in there to get their flowers prettied up. I am always wondering who told them they do not look up to par? Are they watching porns and getting the idea that theirs do not look so hot?

Roseville is also full of trust fund twunts who are so spoiled they were all featured on My Super Sweet Sixteen. If I could I'd nuke that place from orbit. That and Serrano.

They've all run out of things to buy so they go all Heidi Montag on themselves. It's so sad.

/went to ORHS
//hates humanity

I live in Roseville, so first...Fark you. My wife and I are from from trust fund twunts.
Most of those "twunts" you speak of come from Granite Bay or El Dorado Hills. Mommy and Daddy have lots of $$$ to spend on their little angels and send them away for the weekend so they can have their swing parties.
We moved from Sacramento county, where it was common for the female tweekers to get enough money to afford boob jobs.
Visualize that.....not pretty.


Sure got a long way from Sacramento County.... what, 5 miles or so?

/howdy neighbor :)
 
2012-11-26 06:06:04 PM

Jae0o0: No farking way. Unless I have meat curtains hanging to my knees and it interferes with walking, no ones cutting up my girly spot. Have they started marketing 'Sack lifts' to men yet?


Newsflash, toots: Doctors didn't dream this up and push it. This started with patients' requests.
 
2012-11-26 06:12:31 PM
Doctors ought to use mine as a reference. It's pretty much perfect.
 
2012-11-26 06:13:33 PM

slayer199: PerilousApricot: I'm normally generous with using my mouth, but nobody likes a gorillas sandwich. It's really distracting to have to stop and sneeze.

Or pull the pubic dental floss out of your mouth.


Maybe it's because I only go down on Asian/Native America/Nat. Blonde chicks, but I do not have this problem. Are you guys eating African Gorilla pussy?
 
2012-11-26 06:16:20 PM

poison_amy: Doctors ought to use mine as a reference. It's pretty much perfect.


You of course realize a statement like that is worthless without pics right?
 
2012-11-26 06:17:29 PM

moothemagiccow: wambu: All that work and it still smells and tastes the same.

I think they make it tighter, like after you have a few kids, it gets all stretched out and droopy. That's what I hear, anyway. I don't think it makes that much difference. It's sad that people can afford this kind of stuff but they go bankrupt if they actually get sick.


I can give a big thumbs up to the "tightening up" bit. Years ago, I had a FWB with a kid. Her husband left her shortly after the kid was born, and we started fooling around about a year or so after that. Shortly after we got together she decided to get her tubes tied, and while she was in for that she went ahead with a vaginoplasty to tighten it back up (she had really good insurance that covered both procedures).

INCREDIBLE difference. In fact, it made more of a difference for her than it did for me. After the surgery was healed up she got off much faster and much easier than she did before.

/she wore me out and then moved on :p
 
2012-11-26 06:19:06 PM
Every girl has that time in her life when, either out of boredom, curiosity, or something more deeply rooted in bodily dissatisfaction, she Googles her options for "altering her vulval morphology."

Those are your words lady? I don't know many guys, if any at all, that have Googled ways of altering their dicks like that. Tattoing lizards and shiat, barbell piercings...ok, but none of that makes our schlongs bigger.Are you trying to make your vaginas more like a pastrami sammich or an apple pie?
 
2012-11-26 06:20:20 PM

Dingleberry Dickwad: poison_amy: Doctors ought to use mine as a reference. It's pretty much perfect.

You of course realize a statement like that is worthless without pics right?


Ohhh there's pics. Eip... Send me something to reply to and you can judge!
 
2012-11-26 06:23:27 PM

MaudlinMutantMollusk: the_end_is_rear: kiwimoogle84: the_end_is_rear: My buddies wife works at a plastic surgery place in out town (Roseville, CA) and you not believe the amount of girls (age 18-19) coming in there to get their flowers prettied up. I am always wondering who told them they do not look up to par? Are they watching porns and getting the idea that theirs do not look so hot?

Roseville is also full of trust fund twunts who are so spoiled they were all featured on My Super Sweet Sixteen. If I could I'd nuke that place from orbit. That and Serrano.

They've all run out of things to buy so they go all Heidi Montag on themselves. It's so sad.

/went to ORHS
//hates humanity

I live in Roseville, so first...Fark you. My wife and I are from from trust fund twunts.
Most of those "twunts" you speak of come from Granite Bay or El Dorado Hills. Mommy and Daddy have lots of $$$ to spend on their little angels and send them away for the weekend so they can have their swing parties.
We moved from Sacramento county, where it was common for the female tweekers to get enough money to afford boob jobs.
Visualize that.....not pretty.

Sure got a long way from Sacramento County.... what, 5 miles or so?

/howdy neighbor :)


Yep......it was good enough not to hear the ghetto bird overhead every night.
 
2012-11-26 06:35:56 PM

Fano: middleoftheday: "Vagina" is one of those words that just seems awkward in its plural form.

Vaginii?
Vaginae?


"Vaginas" is a perfectly acceptable English plural. "Vaginae" is the Latin plural.
 
2012-11-26 06:38:29 PM
There is a distinct Mason-Dixon age line regarding au natural vs shaved and I'm distinctly to the north of it.

I like my lady to look like and feel like a woman not an over developed 10 year old girl.

Just make and sure the pits and legs are clean shaven.

That is all.
 
2012-11-26 06:38:29 PM
Dirty Johnny goes to his dad and asks him "Hey pop? What does a vagina look like?"

His father hmms thoughtfully for a second and says "Before sex, a woman's vagina looks like a beautiful flower."

Dirty Johnny says "What do they look like after sex?"

His father thinks a moment more and responds, "Have you ever seen a bulldog eating mayonnaise?"
 
2012-11-26 06:40:14 PM

the_end_is_rear: kiwimoogle84: the_end_is_rear: My buddies wife works at a plastic surgery place in out town (Roseville, CA) and you not believe the amount of girls (age 18-19) coming in there to get their flowers prettied up. I am always wondering who told them they do not look up to par? Are they watching porns and getting the idea that theirs do not look so hot?

Roseville is also full of trust fund twunts who are so spoiled they were all featured on My Super Sweet Sixteen. If I could I'd nuke that place from orbit. That and Serrano.

They've all run out of things to buy so they go all Heidi Montag on themselves. It's so sad.

/went to ORHS
//hates humanity

I live in Roseville, so first...Fark you. My wife and I are from from trust fund twunts.
Most of those "twunts" you speak of come from Granite Bay or El Dorado Hills. Mommy and Daddy have lots of $$$ to spend on their little angels and send them away for the weekend so they can have their swing parties.
We moved from Sacramento county, where it was common for the female tweekers to get enough money to afford boob jobs.
Visualize that.....not pretty.


I apologize if I offended. I thought you said "outside of town" with the "out" not "our". And I didn't know you were a trust fund child. How could I? I don't normally associate with anyone who comes from money, because those I used to know who did? They DID those things I criticize. First thing my high school best friend did upon graduating was wreck her brand new BMW after getting a boob and nose job.

I only went to ORHS because I lived in an apartment with my mom in Cameron park and she chose. And I love Sac- lived most of my life in Rosemont. Nice blue collar neighborhoods.

Anyway, lets agree to disagree, though we can agree that we hate granite bay and el dorado hills.
 
2012-11-26 06:41:35 PM
Every girl has that time in her life when, either out of boredom, curiosity, or something more deeply rooted in bodily dissatisfaction, she Googles her options for "altering her vulval morphology."

This made me curious, so i asked my wife if she had ever thought of this, and she said "What's wrong with mine?" Then she got all frying panny. Thanks random fark article. I hate you..hate you with the heat of a thousand suns.
 
2012-11-26 06:43:05 PM

ukexpat: Fano: middleoftheday: "Vagina" is one of those words that just seems awkward in its plural form.

Vaginii?
Vaginae?

"Vaginas" is a perfectly acceptable English plural. "Vaginae" is the Latin plural.


Rookery,Troop, Flange,Colony, Cloud,Grist, Hive, Swarm, Nest,Volary, Brace, Plump, Knob,Brood, Clutch,Clowder, Clutter, Pounce, Dout, Nuisance, Glorying, Glare,Kindle, Litter, Intrigue,Drove, Herd, Team of Vaginas are all acceptable also.
 
2012-11-26 06:44:37 PM
♫ My vagina's got lots of extra skin
They took my outtie and made it an in...♪

Link
 
2012-11-26 06:47:19 PM
Hmph. Thought this was going to be another camel toe thread....

/leaves bitter and disappointed
 
2012-11-26 06:47:37 PM
I cant really blame girls who get this, esp if their inner lips protrude out at great length.
 
2012-11-26 06:53:09 PM
Vaginas are great and all, feel wonderful and provide a way to pleasure your SO, but let's not kid each other. They are not beautiful. The episode of Entourage where Turtle gets freaked out when he's banging a model because the sun rises and shines directly on it in a bright room nailed it. Those things are FREAKY. And there are so many different kinds - you never know what you're going to get when you reach down there. Tight discreet slit or floppity roast beef special, every single one has it's own horrible surprises. Like some mutant slimey lottery.

Relationships are about give and take, so spend time down there doing the right thing. But calling them beautiful is just not accurate. The recent study that showed you are more inclined to do 'gross' things when you are turned on makes perfect sense. What person of reason would subject themselves to a close up view of such alien horror were their brain not in some way addled and tricked by chemicals?
 
2012-11-26 07:00:55 PM
♬My vagina has a first name..it's y-u-m-m-y..

My vagina has a second name it's p-u-s-s-y♫

♪Well, I love to eat it every day and if you ask me why I'll saaayyy..

♫Cuz p-u-s-s-y today will surely stave off turning teh ghayyyy♫
 
2012-11-26 07:04:00 PM
NSFW

Link
 
2012-11-26 07:04:00 PM

Madison_Smiled: StashMonster: God Is My Co-Pirate: I_C_Weener: I wanted a Georgia O'Keefe but I got a Picasso.

I got a Hieronymus Bosch.

I got a Jackson Pollock

Mine's an Escher.


HR Giger.
 
2012-11-26 07:07:10 PM
....the possibility of "literally squeezing a ring" out of their boyfriend....

i.imgur.com
 
2012-11-26 07:08:06 PM

pute kisses like a man: Keizer_Ghidorah: SirEattonHogg: slayer199

2012-11-26 02:34:19 PM

I feel the same way about this as I do breast enhancement...leave that shiat alone. Ladies, your vaginas are beautiful as they are...no surgery is necessary....but please, please, please...wax your nether regions. I don't like looking like I fell of a bike and skinned my chin after a long session of giving oral


Or leave it au natural. Hairy is back.

Bleh, do not like hair in my mouth. At least groom it short. I shave myself, it feels a lot better.

i say just deal with it. oral is not for the guy's pleasure, it's for the ladies. you get hair in your mouth, that's life. probably less offensive than what women get in their mouth when they reciprocate. and normal sex is better when there's a hair.  so, deal with it.


I think you are doing it wrong.
 
2012-11-26 07:09:13 PM
Damn, they make designer vagina's? All this time I've been just been using an "off the rack" model.
 
2012-11-26 07:15:27 PM

dalovindj: Vaginas are great and all, feel wonderful and provide a way to pleasure your SO, but let's not kid each other. They are not beautiful. The episode of Entourage where Turtle gets freaked out when he's banging a model because the sun rises and shines directly on it in a bright room nailed it. Those things are FREAKY. And there are so many different kinds - you never know what you're going to get when you reach down there. Tight discreet slit or floppity roast beef special, every single one has it's own horrible surprises. Like some mutant slimey lottery.

Relationships are about give and take, so spend time down there doing the right thing. But calling them beautiful is just not accurate. The recent study that showed you are more inclined to do 'gross' things when you are turned on makes perfect sense. What person of reason would subject themselves to a close up view of such alien horror were their brain not in some way addled and tricked by chemicals?


Goddamn internet, can't tell if you're serious or subtly joking. We really really need a sarcasm font.
 
2012-11-26 07:20:16 PM

Dingleberry Dickwad: dalovindj: Vaginas are great and all, feel wonderful and provide a way to pleasure your SO, but let's not kid each other. They are not beautiful. The episode of Entourage where Turtle gets freaked out when he's banging a model because the sun rises and shines directly on it in a bright room nailed it. Those things are FREAKY. And there are so many different kinds - you never know what you're going to get when you reach down there. Tight discreet slit or floppity roast beef special, every single one has it's own horrible surprises. Like some mutant slimey lottery.

Relationships are about give and take, so spend time down there doing the right thing. But calling them beautiful is just not accurate. The recent study that showed you are more inclined to do 'gross' things when you are turned on makes perfect sense. What person of reason would subject themselves to a close up view of such alien horror were their brain not in some way addled and tricked by chemicals?

Goddamn internet, can't tell if you're serious or subtly joking. We really really need a sarcasm font.


No kidding. I've never had any complaints and I think peens are beautiful, so...
 
2012-11-26 07:21:52 PM

Dingleberry Dickwad: Goddamn internet, can't tell if you're serious or subtly joking. We really really need a sarcasm font.


I'm just kidding.

But seriously.
 
2012-11-26 07:22:01 PM
Paging spentmiles
 
2012-11-26 07:26:28 PM

the_end_is_rear: kiwimoogle84: the_end_is_rear: My buddies wife works at a plastic surgery place in out town (Roseville, CA) and you not believe the amount of girls (age 18-19) coming in there to get their flowers prettied up. I am always wondering who told them they do not look up to par? Are they watching porns and getting the idea that theirs do not look so hot?

Roseville is also full of trust fund twunts who are so spoiled they were all featured on My Super Sweet Sixteen. If I could I'd nuke that place from orbit. That and Serrano.

They've all run out of things to buy so they go all Heidi Montag on themselves. It's so sad.

/went to ORHS
//hates humanity

I live in Roseville, so first...Fark you. My wife and I are from from trust fund twunts.
Most of those "twunts" you speak of come from Granite Bay or El Dorado Hills. Mommy and Daddy have lots of $$$ to spend on their little angels and send them away for the weekend so they can have their swing parties.
We moved from Sacramento county, where it was common for the female tweekers to get enough money to afford boob jobs.
Visualize that.....not pretty.


Wait, so you are upset because he said Roseville is full of trust fund twunts, and you respond by saying that not only are you from Roseville, but your parents were trust fund twunts...

Not sure why you mad, bro.
 
2012-11-26 07:28:55 PM

kiwimoogle84: Dingleberry Dickwad: dalovindj: Vaginas are great and all, feel wonderful and provide a way to pleasure your SO, but let's not kid each other. They are not beautiful. The episode of Entourage where Turtle gets freaked out when he's banging a model because the sun rises and shines directly on it in a bright room nailed it. Those things are FREAKY. And there are so many different kinds - you never know what you're going to get when you reach down there. Tight discreet slit or floppity roast beef special, every single one has it's own horrible surprises. Like some mutant slimey lottery.

Relationships are about give and take, so spend time down there doing the right thing. But calling them beautiful is just not accurate. The recent study that showed you are more inclined to do 'gross' things when you are turned on makes perfect sense. What person of reason would subject themselves to a close up view of such alien horror were their brain not in some way addled and tricked by chemicals?

Goddamn internet, can't tell if you're serious or subtly joking. We really really need a sarcasm font.

No kidding. I've never had any complaints and I think peens are beautiful, so...


I'd have to agree. I've never met one I didn't like, but damned if they weren't all different. (Referring to peens or vajajays? BOTH)
 
2012-11-26 07:29:31 PM

dalovindj: Dingleberry Dickwad: Goddamn internet, can't tell if you're serious or subtly joking. We really really need a sarcasm font.

I'm just kidding.

But seriously.


Dude, I heard he died!
 
2012-11-26 07:33:40 PM

MoronLessOff: kiwimoogle84: the_end_is_rear: My buddies wife works at a plastic surgery place in out town (Roseville, CA) and you not believe the amount of girls (age 18-19) coming in there to get their flowers prettied up. I am always wondering who told them they do not look up to par? Are they watching porns and getting the idea that theirs do not look so hot?

Roseville is also full of trust fund twunts who are so spoiled they were all featured on My Super Sweet Sixteen. If I could I'd nuke that place from orbit. That and Serrano.

They've all run out of things to buy so they go all Heidi Montag on themselves. It's so sad.

/went to ORHS
//hates humanity

Click it, you'll like it.


DUDE! Love me some MC Lars. His Super scope is my fav rap tune of all time!
(for the uninitiated) Super Scope
 
2012-11-26 07:33:52 PM
Yuck. The only good vagina is no vagina at all. Well, that's my personal taste, anyway.
 
2012-11-26 07:34:54 PM

kim jong-un: the_end_is_rear: kiwimoogle84: the_end_is_rear: My buddies wife works at a plastic surgery place in out town (Roseville, CA) and you not believe the amount of girls (age 18-19) coming in there to get their flowers prettied up. I am always wondering who told them they do not look up to par? Are they watching porns and getting the idea that theirs do not look so hot?

Roseville is also full of trust fund twunts who are so spoiled they were all featured on My Super Sweet Sixteen. If I could I'd nuke that place from orbit. That and Serrano.

They've all run out of things to buy so they go all Heidi Montag on themselves. It's so sad.

/went to ORHS
//hates humanity

I live in Roseville, so first...Fark you. My wife and I are from from trust fund twunts.
Most of those "twunts" you speak of come from Granite Bay or El Dorado Hills. Mommy and Daddy have lots of $$$ to spend on their little angels and send them away for the weekend so they can have their swing parties.
We moved from Sacramento county, where it was common for the female tweekers to get enough money to afford boob jobs.
Visualize that.....not pretty.

Wait, so you are upset because he said Roseville is full of trust fund twunts, and you respond by saying that not only are you from Roseville, but your parents were trust fund twunts...

Not sure why you mad, bro.


He?

And yeah, I scratched my head at that too, but I think it's because I implied I wanted to nuke his city from orbit. *shrug*

People who come from money and/or never had to struggle don't really appreciate it most of the time, and generally do stupid things with said money. Whereas I, saving money by living in "ghetto bird territory" as he stated, paid for my own college degrees- both of them- and value used book stores over a ski weekend in Aspen.

I don't honestly think anyone who has worked themselves from the ground up would ever consider a surgery like this. It's absurd.
 
2012-11-26 07:35:52 PM

kiwimoogle84: Dingleberry Dickwad: dalovindj: Vaginas are great and all, feel wonderful and provide a way to pleasure your SO, but let's not kid each other. They are not beautiful. The episode of Entourage where Turtle gets freaked out when he's banging a model because the sun rises and shines directly on it in a bright room nailed it. Those things are FREAKY. And there are so many different kinds - you never know what you're going to get when you reach down there. Tight discreet slit or floppity roast beef special, every single one has it's own horrible surprises. Like some mutant slimey lottery.

Relationships are about give and take, so spend time down there doing the right thing. But calling them beautiful is just not accurate. The recent study that showed you are more inclined to do 'gross' things when you are turned on makes perfect sense. What person of reason would subject themselves to a close up view of such alien horror were their brain not in some way addled and tricked by chemicals?

Goddamn internet, can't tell if you're serious or subtly joking. We really really need a sarcasm font.

No kidding. I've never had any complaints and I think peens are beautiful, so...


I dunno, see peens I've always thought looked funny. From the helmet headed tip to the odd turkey neck looking ballsack that can be all saggy and floppy, or tight and comical looking at the bottom. Seriously, look at one once, the shape is damn near identical to the kevlar helmets our troops wear.
lh6.googleusercontent.com 
encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com
 
2012-11-26 07:41:38 PM

Dingleberry Dickwad: kiwimoogle84: Dingleberry Dickwad: dalovindj: Vaginas are great and all, feel wonderful and provide a way to pleasure your SO, but let's not kid each other. They are not beautiful. The episode of Entourage where Turtle gets freaked out when he's banging a model because the sun rises and shines directly on it in a bright room nailed it. Those things are FREAKY. And there are so many different kinds - you never know what you're going to get when you reach down there. Tight discreet slit or floppity roast beef special, every single one has it's own horrible surprises. Like some mutant slimey lottery.

Relationships are about give and take, so spend time down there doing the right thing. But calling them beautiful is just not accurate. The recent study that showed you are more inclined to do 'gross' things when you are turned on makes perfect sense. What person of reason would subject themselves to a close up view of such alien horror were their brain not in some way addled and tricked by chemicals?

Goddamn internet, can't tell if you're serious or subtly joking. We really really need a sarcasm font.

No kidding. I've never had any complaints and I think peens are beautiful, so...

I dunno, see peens I've always thought looked funny. From the helmet headed tip to the odd turkey neck looking ballsack that can be all saggy and floppy, or tight and comical looking at the bottom. Seriously, look at one once, the shape is damn near identical to the kevlar helmets our troops wear.
 


Yes, but you don't happily worship them on a regular basis, do you?

I do, so your point is invalid. It's in the eye of the peenholder...
 
2012-11-26 07:50:59 PM

kiwimoogle84: Dingleberry Dickwad: kiwimoogle84: Dingleberry Dickwad: dalovindj: Vaginas are great and all, feel wonderful and provide a way to pleasure your SO, but let's not kid each other. They are not beautiful. The episode of Entourage where Turtle gets freaked out when he's banging a model because the sun rises and shines directly on it in a bright room nailed it. Those things are FREAKY. And there are so many different kinds - you never know what you're going to get when you reach down there. Tight discreet slit or floppity roast beef special, every single one has it's own horrible surprises. Like some mutant slimey lottery.

Relationships are about give and take, so spend time down there doing the right thing. But calling them beautiful is just not accurate. The recent study that showed you are more inclined to do 'gross' things when you are turned on makes perfect sense. What person of reason would subject themselves to a close up view of such alien horror were their brain not in some way addled and tricked by chemicals?

Goddamn internet, can't tell if you're serious or subtly joking. We really really need a sarcasm font.

No kidding. I've never had any complaints and I think peens are beautiful, so...

I dunno, see peens I've always thought looked funny. From the helmet headed tip to the odd turkey neck looking ballsack that can be all saggy and floppy, or tight and comical looking at the bottom. Seriously, look at one once, the shape is damn near identical to the kevlar helmets our troops wear.
 

Yes, but you don't happily worship them on a regular basis, do you?

I do, so your point is invalid. It's in the eye of the peenholder...


Regular basis you say? We must clone you and populate the earth with more of you post haste!
Also, go on......
 
2012-11-26 07:52:57 PM

My BRAND!: kiwimoogle84: Dingleberry Dickwad: kiwimoogle84: Dingleberry Dickwad: dalovindj: Vaginas are great and all, feel wonderful and provide a way to pleasure your SO, but let's not kid each other. They are not beautiful. The episode of Entourage where Turtle gets freaked out when he's banging a model because the sun rises and shines directly on it in a bright room nailed it. Those things are FREAKY. And there are so many different kinds - you never know what you're going to get when you reach down there. Tight discreet slit or floppity roast beef special, every single one has it's own horrible surprises. Like some mutant slimey lottery.

Relationships are about give and take, so spend time down there doing the right thing. But calling them beautiful is just not accurate. The recent study that showed you are more inclined to do 'gross' things when you are turned on makes perfect sense. What person of reason would subject themselves to a close up view of such alien horror were their brain not in some way addled and tricked by chemicals?

Goddamn internet, can't tell if you're serious or subtly joking. We really really need a sarcasm font.

No kidding. I've never had any complaints and I think peens are beautiful, so...

I dunno, see peens I've always thought looked funny. From the helmet headed tip to the odd turkey neck looking ballsack that can be all saggy and floppy, or tight and comical looking at the bottom. Seriously, look at one once, the shape is damn near identical to the kevlar helmets our troops wear.
 

Yes, but you don't happily worship them on a regular basis, do you?

I do, so your point is invalid. It's in the eye of the peenholder...

Regular basis you say? We must clone you and populate the earth with more of you post haste!
Also, go on......


I've been saying that for years. Even sent Sheldon Cooper a request to clone me. No response, sadly. *shrug*


/I'm not that stuck up
//really.
/flattered though
 
2012-11-26 07:55:30 PM

MoronLessOff: kiwimoogle84: No man really cares what your vag looks like

Just how it tastes.


Just how close we can get to it.
 
2012-11-26 07:57:19 PM
s13.postimage.org
 
2012-11-26 07:58:31 PM
Hawkins: Hey Billy. Billy! The other day, I went up to my girlfriend, I said, "Y'know I'd like a little pussy". She said, "Me too, mine's as big as a house!" [Billy stares blankly] Hawkins: See, she, she wanted a little one 'cause hers was... [Hawkins pauses, then trails off] Hawkins: ... big as a house.

Hawkins: Billy. Billy! The other day, I was going down on my girlfriend, I said to her, "Jeez you got a big pussy. Jeez you got a big pussy." She said, "Why did you say that twice?" I said, "I didn't." [Billy stares blankly] Hawkins: See, cuz of the echo.
 
2012-11-26 07:59:16 PM

kiwimoogle84: I do, so your point is invalid. It's in the eye of the peenholder...


Been told that can cause pink eye, may want to be careful about that...
 
2012-11-26 08:00:28 PM

Dingleberry Dickwad: kiwimoogle84: I do, so your point is invalid. It's in the eye of the peenholder...

Been told that can cause pink eye, may want to be careful about that...


I don't do eye shots. That's just rude, and likely is a result of women telling their men that they don't swallow.
 
2012-11-26 08:01:26 PM

amquelbettamin: I'd prefer if they'd locate the vagina above the pubic bone rather than below it. Further from ass and easier childbirth. Win win right there.


You're doing it wrong...
 
2012-11-26 08:03:09 PM
Some of us guys like them big and juicy. I'll just leave this here. NSFW IN ANY WAY.
 
2012-11-26 08:05:04 PM

AngryJailhouseFistfark: As for me, I enjoy thick, wet, full, engorged labia when I sit down to feast upon my Special Lady's secret garden. It is the Sanctum sanctorum of all glory and honor, a moistened grotto whereupon I may pay homage and tribute to all the creative force of the universe, from an ancient explosion of ten million stars to the eruption and shift of continents to the trembling convulsions of my lover in the throes of orgasm, such is the wonder and brilliance and majesty of La Vagine. It is in this holy place, a garden possessed by every woman who ever lived; as common as the soil, and yet each more precious than the most refined cognac, the most perfect pearl, the pristine petals of the new-blossomed rose. Oh, to lay supine in awe and reverence as I draw the tender bloom into my mouth, to stroke and massage with my tongue, to paint and caress lovingly, to taste the sweet nectar, feel the supple kiss and full, ripe, press of her delicate secrets against my lips.


Yes, but no matter how well she's cleaned it, or how long it's been, you're still feasting on tiny, microscopic remains of every guy who ever blew a wad up in that.
 
2012-11-26 08:05:26 PM

kiwimoogle84: Dingleberry Dickwad: kiwimoogle84: I do, so your point is invalid. It's in the eye of the peenholder...

Been told that can cause pink eye, may want to be careful about that...

I don't do eye shots. That's just rude, and likely is a result of women telling their men that they don't swallow.


Well way to take the humor out of the joke miss smartypants!
Never understood facials myself. I can see pulling and blowing peter snot on their bellies, backs, butts, tits or in their mouth if they're willing, or in any of the other usual orifices, but on the face?

You really want to piss off a girl? Get it in her hair...

What? I was drunk dammit and it was an accident!
 
2012-11-26 08:07:41 PM
I like vaginas
 
2012-11-26 08:11:00 PM

Harold_of_the_Rocks: Some of us guys like them big and juicy. I'll just leave this here. NSFW IN ANY WAY.


I'm rather amazed you found that blog.

I'm on it.

Not saying which one.

Just...Wow.
 
2012-11-26 08:11:18 PM

jgilb: JackieRabbit:

A friend's wife had this done after the birth of their third child. It was a pretty simple procedure. He said it was as if she was teenager again; they both very much appreciated this. You don't think it makes much of a difference? I don't think you've been in many vagina. There's a big difference between a tight vagina and one that's been stretched out by pushing out kiddies.

All women's vaginas get tight when they are achieving orgasm. If it's loose, then you're not doing your job.


This. It spasms tighter during and stays tight afterwards. She's not the only one who benefits from doing some groundwork first.
 
2012-11-26 08:11:58 PM

Dingleberry Dickwad: kiwimoogle84: Dingleberry Dickwad: kiwimoogle84: I do, so your point is invalid. It's in the eye of the peenholder...

Been told that can cause pink eye, may want to be careful about that...

I don't do eye shots. That's just rude, and likely is a result of women telling their men that they don't swallow.

Well way to take the humor out of the joke miss smartypants!
Never understood facials myself. I can see pulling and blowing peter snot on their bellies, backs, butts, tits or in their mouth if they're willing, or in any of the other usual orifices, but on the face?

You really want to piss off a girl? Get it in her hair...

What? I was drunk dammit and it was an accident!


No, see, I countered your joke with another joke, like women who don't swallow DESERVE it in the eye. Haha.
 
2012-11-26 08:16:25 PM

the_end_is_rear: My buddies wife works at a plastic surgery place in out town (Roseville, CA) and you not believe the amount of girls (age 18-19) coming in there to get their flowers prettied up. I am always wondering who told them they do not look up to par? Are they watching porns and getting the idea that theirs do not look so hot?


Its the rash of bad vagina jokes, creates insecurity.

/seems like women are avoiding this thread. I'll check out the latest penis thread.
 
2012-11-26 08:16:50 PM

kiwimoogle84: Dingleberry Dickwad: kiwimoogle84: Dingleberry Dickwad: kiwimoogle84: I do, so your point is invalid. It's in the eye of the peenholder...

Been told that can cause pink eye, may want to be careful about that...

I don't do eye shots. That's just rude, and likely is a result of women telling their men that they don't swallow.

Well way to take the humor out of the joke miss smartypants!
Never understood facials myself. I can see pulling and blowing peter snot on their bellies, backs, butts, tits or in their mouth if they're willing, or in any of the other usual orifices, but on the face?

You really want to piss off a girl? Get it in her hair...

What? I was drunk dammit and it was an accident!

No, see, I countered your joke with another joke, like women who don't swallow DESERVE it in the eye. Haha.


You realize how hard it is to tell when someone is joking about something like that? Half the women I've seen here on Fark would have meant it as the evil bastard guy would do that intentionally as an act of vengeance for the woman not gobbling up his salty man gravy.
 
2012-11-26 08:17:33 PM

dalovindj: Vaginas are great and all, feel wonderful and provide a way to pleasure your SO, but let's not kid each other. They are not beautiful. The episode of Entourage where Turtle gets freaked out when he's banging a model because the sun rises and shines directly on it in a bright room nailed it. Those things are FREAKY. And there are so many different kinds - you never know what you're going to get when you reach down there. Tight discreet slit or floppity roast beef special, every single one has it's own horrible surprises. Like some mutant slimey lottery.

Relationships are about give and take, so spend time down there doing the right thing. But calling them beautiful is just not accurate. The recent study that showed you are more inclined to do 'gross' things when you are turned on makes perfect sense. What person of reason would subject themselves to a close up view of such alien horror were their brain not in some way addled and tricked by chemicals?


Rather amusing isn't it? If I had what looked like a vagina on say my elbow or shoulder one would wonder if I had some sort of condition or injury. Likewise if a woman had a penis on her heel.
 
2012-11-26 08:18:30 PM

Dingleberry Dickwad: kiwimoogle84: Dingleberry Dickwad: kiwimoogle84: Dingleberry Dickwad: kiwimoogle84: I do, so your point is invalid. It's in the eye of the peenholder...

Been told that can cause pink eye, may want to be careful about that...

I don't do eye shots. That's just rude, and likely is a result of women telling their men that they don't swallow.

Well way to take the humor out of the joke miss smartypants!
Never understood facials myself. I can see pulling and blowing peter snot on their bellies, backs, butts, tits or in their mouth if they're willing, or in any of the other usual orifices, but on the face?

You really want to piss off a girl? Get it in her hair...

What? I was drunk dammit and it was an accident!

No, see, I countered your joke with another joke, like women who don't swallow DESERVE it in the eye. Haha.

You realize how hard it is to tell when someone is joking about something like that? Half the women I've seen here on Fark would have meant it as the evil bastard guy would do that intentionally as an act of vengeance for the woman not gobbling up his salty man gravy.


Feminists don't give BJ's. at least, none that I know of.

Luckily, I don't have that problem.
 
2012-11-26 08:18:54 PM

kiwimoogle84: cyks: kiwimoogle84: Don't ALL women keep themselves clean and hygienic?


I want to live in that world.

I'll just add that to the already lengthy list of things I want to slap some women for. Shudder.

YOU'RE MAKING US ALL LOOK BAD!

Ladies, WET WIPES.

Just saying.

Also, if you VOLUNTARILY squeeze during sex, you're not only enduring you stay nice and tight, but he loves it. Really.


The solution isn't always more cleaning products. It's a sensitive area and over drying the skin or causing an allergic reaction can lead to yeast infections, which is a step backwards.
 
2012-11-26 08:22:37 PM

Skirl Hutsenreiter: kiwimoogle84: cyks: kiwimoogle84: Don't ALL women keep themselves clean and hygienic?


I want to live in that world.

I'll just add that to the already lengthy list of things I want to slap some women for. Shudder.

YOU'RE MAKING US ALL LOOK BAD!

Ladies, WET WIPES.

Just saying.

Also, if you VOLUNTARILY squeeze during sex, you're not only enduring you stay nice and tight, but he loves it. Really.

The solution isn't always more cleaning products. It's a sensitive area and over drying the skin or causing an allergic reaction can lead to yeast infections, which is a step backwards.


Well that's true but you don't need to go deep in order to clean the front entryway.
 
2012-11-26 08:23:10 PM

Skirl Hutsenreiter: kiwimoogle84: cyks: kiwimoogle84: Don't ALL women keep themselves clean and hygienic?


I want to live in that world.

I'll just add that to the already lengthy list of things I want to slap some women for. Shudder.

YOU'RE MAKING US ALL LOOK BAD!

Ladies, WET WIPES.

Just saying.

Also, if you VOLUNTARILY squeeze during sex, you're not only enduring you stay nice and tight, but he loves it. Really.

The solution isn't always more cleaning products. It's a sensitive area and over drying the skin or causing an allergic reaction can lead to yeast infections, which is a step backwards.


Not if you're looking to make some sourdough...

/Okay, maybe time to lay off the sauce for the night
 
2012-11-26 08:23:50 PM

Dingleberry Dickwad: Skirl Hutsenreiter: kiwimoogle84: cyks: kiwimoogle84: Don't ALL women keep themselves clean and hygienic?


I want to live in that world.

I'll just add that to the already lengthy list of things I want to slap some women for. Shudder.

YOU'RE MAKING US ALL LOOK BAD!

Ladies, WET WIPES.

Just saying.

Also, if you VOLUNTARILY squeeze during sex, you're not only enduring you stay nice and tight, but he loves it. Really.

The solution isn't always more cleaning products. It's a sensitive area and over drying the skin or causing an allergic reaction can lead to yeast infections, which is a step backwards.

Not if you're looking to make some sourdough...

/Okay, maybe time to lay off the sauce for the night


Have one for me. I'm temporarily staying with Mormon family.

Help.
 
2012-11-26 08:29:01 PM

kiwimoogle84: Dingleberry Dickwad: Skirl Hutsenreiter: kiwimoogle84: cyks: kiwimoogle84: Don't ALL women keep themselves clean and hygienic?


I want to live in that world.

I'll just add that to the already lengthy list of things I want to slap some women for. Shudder.

YOU'RE MAKING US ALL LOOK BAD!

Ladies, WET WIPES.

Just saying.

Also, if you VOLUNTARILY squeeze during sex, you're not only enduring you stay nice and tight, but he loves it. Really.

The solution isn't always more cleaning products. It's a sensitive area and over drying the skin or causing an allergic reaction can lead to yeast infections, which is a step backwards.

Not if you're looking to make some sourdough...

/Okay, maybe time to lay off the sauce for the night

Have one for me. I'm temporarily staying with Mormon family.

Help.


for real? dress up in their holy underwear, cut out the naughty bits, and post pictures

Moroni would be pleased. as would the rest of us.
 
2012-11-26 08:32:03 PM

Omahawg: kiwimoogle84: Dingleberry Dickwad: Skirl Hutsenreiter: kiwimoogle84: cyks: kiwimoogle84: Don't ALL women keep themselves clean and hygienic?


I want to live in that world.

I'll just add that to the already lengthy list of things I want to slap some women for. Shudder.

YOU'RE MAKING US ALL LOOK BAD!

Ladies, WET WIPES.

Just saying.

Also, if you VOLUNTARILY squeeze during sex, you're not only enduring you stay nice and tight, but he loves it. Really.

The solution isn't always more cleaning products. It's a sensitive area and over drying the skin or causing an allergic reaction can lead to yeast infections, which is a step backwards.

Not if you're looking to make some sourdough...

/Okay, maybe time to lay off the sauce for the night

Have one for me. I'm temporarily staying with Mormon family.

Help.

for real? dress up in their holy underwear, cut out the naughty bits, and post pictures

Moroni would be pleased. as would the rest of us.


Hey now. I actually like my family. But you're right, it'd be hilarious.
 
2012-11-26 08:34:40 PM

kiwimoogle84: Dingleberry Dickwad: Skirl Hutsenreiter: kiwimoogle84: cyks: kiwimoogle84: Don't ALL women keep themselves clean and hygienic?


I want to live in that world.

I'll just add that to the already lengthy list of things I want to slap some women for. Shudder.

YOU'RE MAKING US ALL LOOK BAD!

Ladies, WET WIPES.

Just saying.

Also, if you VOLUNTARILY squeeze during sex, you're not only enduring you stay nice and tight, but he loves it. Really.

The solution isn't always more cleaning products. It's a sensitive area and over drying the skin or causing an allergic reaction can lead to yeast infections, which is a step backwards.

Not if you're looking to make some sourdough...

/Okay, maybe time to lay off the sauce for the night

Have one for me. I'm temporarily staying with Mormon family.

Help.


Ouch, I had some relatives that lived out near Mormon territory when they were stationed at an Air Force base in Utah. They said they'd often get dirty looks when buying beer off base, and if you wanted beer for watching football games on Sunday you had to buy it the day before because a lot of areas had laws saying you couldn't buy beer on Sunday.

/loves living in beer country
//also having Leinie's Honey Weiss available pretty much anywhere is awesome.
 
2012-11-26 08:34:50 PM
Ladies: Love your cooter. The designer ones I've seen look awful. You're not fooling anyone.
 
2012-11-26 08:35:25 PM

Galloping Galoshes: A designer vagina. Really.

So, ladies, how do you show it off? Walk down the street with a Coach trademark dangling from your fly


How else would people know it's a Coach cooch?
 
2012-11-26 08:38:41 PM

DangerGentleman: Ladies: Love your cooter. The designer ones I've seen look awful. You're not fooling anyone.


Same with the boobs.

You can spot bolt-ons a mile away as soon as they're out in the open. They simply do not hang right.
 
2012-11-26 08:50:03 PM

fluffy2097: DangerGentleman: Ladies: Love your cooter. The designer ones I've seen look awful. You're not fooling anyone.

Same with the boobs.

You can spot bolt-ons a mile away as soon as they're out in the open. They simply do not hang right.


I feel the same about bewbs. Mine aren't absolutely, but they're real and mine. And nice for nuzzling, or so I hear.

Friend of mine got implants. They didn't quite blend in. Always looked obviously fake.
 
2012-11-26 08:50:55 PM

the_end_is_rear: My buddies wife works at a plastic surgery place in out town (Roseville, CA) and you not believe the amount of girls (age 18-19) coming in there to get their flowers prettied up. I am always wondering who told them they do not look up to par? Are they watching porns and getting the idea that theirs do not look so hot?


probably girls self concious about having visible clitoris, or labia extruding too far.

From a personal standpoint, my vagina is one of the parts of my body I've never worried about how it looks. Seems normal to me. Also, my eyes, ears, and butt all look fine. Everything else is moderatly bad to wretchingly god awful.
 
2012-11-26 08:52:27 PM
fake bewbs bad

vagina nom nom slurp slurp

sentences short

attention span nil
 
2012-11-26 08:56:35 PM
 
2012-11-26 08:57:42 PM

hostJP: Very Very NSFW but good for a chuckle!


Holy fackin' hell! You sir owe me a beer and a new keyboard and monitor!
 
2012-11-26 09:15:56 PM
DOCTOR, JUST GIVE ME A LITTLE TRIM.
 
gja [TotalFark]
2012-11-26 09:37:01 PM

hostJP: Very Very NSFW but good for a chuckle!


BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
Oh, and this:
encrypted-tbn1.gstatic.com
 
2012-11-26 09:43:06 PM

Profedius: Once again women: We are not that particular when it comes to your vulval we are just happy to see it. The only thing that would be even a slight issue is labia if they are really large.


i disagree.
 
2012-11-26 09:43:25 PM
Ladies, please don't modify your lady parts. As long as they're clean, nicely kept (hair or no hair, but no stubble please), and taste good, then it's silly to worry about changing them with cosmetic surgery. Your hoo-hoo is as unique as you are. I don't want a doctor's vision of vaginal perfection. I want to gently pull apart those lips (with wet, slippery fingers) and see the beautiful parts you came with. Yum!

/seriously
//no cosmetic surgery
///totally not necessary
 
2012-11-26 09:47:12 PM

gunther_bumpass: Profedius: Once again women: We are not that particular when it comes to your vulval we are just happy to see it. The only thing that would be even a slight issue is labia if they are really large.

i disagree.


There is no issue. If she's got large labia, then so be it. If she's got a large clit, then okay. It all goes with the package. If you don't like the package, then that's on you. It's not fair to ask her to change it.
 
2012-11-26 09:50:36 PM

Fark Me To Tears: Ladies, please don't modify your lady parts. As long as they're clean, nicely kept (hair or no hair, but no stubble please), and taste good, then it's silly to worry about changing them with cosmetic surgery. Your hoo-hoo is as unique as you are. I don't want a doctor's vision of vaginal perfection. I want to gently pull apart those lips (with wet, slippery fingers) and see the beautiful parts you came with. Yum!

/seriously
//no cosmetic surgery
///totally not necessary


Um, tell me more about these wet, slippery fingers?

And how YOU doin'?
 
2012-11-26 10:04:26 PM

Fark Me To Tears: gunther_bumpass: Profedius: Once again women: We are not that particular when it comes to your vulval we are just happy to see it. The only thing that would be even a slight issue is labia if they are really large.

i disagree.

There is no issue. If she's got large labia, then so be it. If she's got a large clit, then okay. It all goes with the package. If you don't like the package, then that's on you. It's not fair to ask her to change it.


I think you misunderstood - I was disagreeing with the notion that large labia are somehow a turn-off. I rather like them.
Anyway, as has been noted many times in this thread, if someone thinks enough of me to let me fool around
with her lady parts, well, they will get nothing but muffled compliments and a magnificent breakfast.
 
2012-11-26 10:08:37 PM

gunther_bumpass: Fark Me To Tears: gunther_bumpass: Profedius: Once again women: We are not that particular when it comes to your vulval we are just happy to see it. The only thing that would be even a slight issue is labia if they are really large.

i disagree.

There is no issue. If she's got large labia, then so be it. If she's got a large clit, then okay. It all goes with the package. If you don't like the package, then that's on you. It's not fair to ask her to change it.

I think you misunderstood - I was disagreeing with the notion that large labia are somehow a turn-off. I rather like them.
Anyway, as has been noted many times in this thread, if someone thinks enough of me to let me fool around
with her lady parts, well, they will get nothing but muffled compliments and a magnificent breakfast.


No, I didn't misunderstand you. I agreed with you, in fact. I just quoted your post instead of the one you quoted. I got your point and was just taking it a step further. I'm sorry if it came across as a disagreement. Are we still friends?
 
2012-11-26 10:13:37 PM

Tat'dGreaser: AngryJailhouseFistfark: And here's a tip, boys: Sure, it's one of the goddamn silliest looking things on God's Green Earth, but the next time you go down on her (which should be next time you enjoin her in any form of sexual congress), remember that it costs you nothing, NOTHING, to say, "My god, what a beautiful pussy you have!", before you commence performing your oral ministrations.

This is one of the creepiest things I've ever read on here


I concur. :/
 
2012-11-26 10:16:45 PM
Can I just stop for a second and thank subby for a good vagina thread?

Thank you, subby. Any chance to discuss my absolute favorite part of the female anatomy (and best anytime tasty snack treat) is certainly a welcome diversion!

+1.5
 
2012-11-26 10:19:17 PM

Fark Me To Tears: gunther_bumpass: Fark Me To Tears: gunther_bumpass: Profedius: Once again women: We are not that particular when it comes to your vulval we are just happy to see it. The only thing that would be even a slight issue is labia if they are really large.

i disagree.

There is no issue. If she's got large labia, then so be it. If she's got a large clit, then okay. It all goes with the package. If you don't like the package, then that's on you. It's not fair to ask her to change it.

I think you misunderstood - I was disagreeing with the notion that large labia are somehow a turn-off. I rather like them.
Anyway, as has been noted many times in this thread, if someone thinks enough of me to let me fool around
with her lady parts, well, they will get nothing but muffled compliments and a magnificent breakfast.

No, I didn't misunderstand you. I agreed with you, in fact. I just quoted your post instead of the one you quoted. I got your point and was just taking it a step further. I'm sorry if it came across as a disagreement. Are we still friends?



Oh.. yeah. I guess. Do you have large... labia?
 
2012-11-26 10:23:13 PM
appropriate lords of acid lol cats

eip
 
2012-11-26 10:26:26 PM

SultanofSchwing: Keizer_Ghidorah: pute kisses like a man: Keizer_Ghidorah: SirEattonHogg: slayer199

2012-11-26 02:34:19 PM

I feel the same way about this as I do breast enhancement...leave that shiat alone. Ladies, your vaginas are beautiful as they are...no surgery is necessary....but please, please, please...wax your nether regions. I don't like looking like I fell of a bike and skinned my chin after a long session of giving oral


Or leave it au natural. Hairy is back.

Bleh, do not like hair in my mouth. At least groom it short. I shave myself, it feels a lot better.

i say just deal with it. oral is not for the guy's pleasure, it's for the ladies. you get hair in your mouth, that's life. probably less offensive than what women get in their mouth when they reciprocate. and normal sex is better when there's a hair.  so, deal with it.

Hey, I like to taste flesh, and so does the woman, which is another reason I shave. I also don't jizz in her mouth unless she wants it.

What a gentleman!


And a proper lady says "thank you" upon swallowing.
 
2012-11-26 10:42:29 PM

Dancin_In_Anson: Raharu: Thread is useless without before and after pics.

Here's a BBC documentary on the subject. NSFW


The UK? Shouldn't they start with their faces?
 
2012-11-26 10:46:56 PM

StoPPeRmobile: SultanofSchwing: Keizer_Ghidorah: pute kisses like a man: Keizer_Ghidorah: SirEattonHogg: slayer199

2012-11-26 02:34:19 PM

I feel the same way about this as I do breast enhancement...leave that shiat alone. Ladies, your vaginas are beautiful as they are...no surgery is necessary....but please, please, please...wax your nether regions. I don't like looking like I fell of a bike and skinned my chin after a long session of giving oral


Or leave it au natural. Hairy is back.

Bleh, do not like hair in my mouth. At least groom it short. I shave myself, it feels a lot better.

i say just deal with it. oral is not for the guy's pleasure, it's for the ladies. you get hair in your mouth, that's life. probably less offensive than what women get in their mouth when they reciprocate. and normal sex is better when there's a hair.  so, deal with it.

Hey, I like to taste flesh, and so does the woman, which is another reason I shave. I also don't jizz in her mouth unless she wants it.

What a gentleman!

And a proper lady says "thank you" upon swallowing.


Oh... all this time I've been saying "Can I have some more?"
 
2012-11-26 10:50:41 PM

Uniquely Common: StoPPeRmobile: SultanofSchwing: Keizer_Ghidorah: pute kisses like a man: Keizer_Ghidorah: SirEattonHogg: slayer199

2012-11-26 02:34:19 PM

I feel the same way about this as I do breast enhancement...leave that shiat alone. Ladies, your vaginas are beautiful as they are...no surgery is necessary....but please, please, please...wax your nether regions. I don't like looking like I fell of a bike and skinned my chin after a long session of giving oral


Or leave it au natural. Hairy is back.

Bleh, do not like hair in my mouth. At least groom it short. I shave myself, it feels a lot better.

i say just deal with it. oral is not for the guy's pleasure, it's for the ladies. you get hair in your mouth, that's life. probably less offensive than what women get in their mouth when they reciprocate. and normal sex is better when there's a hair.  so, deal with it.

Hey, I like to taste flesh, and so does the woman, which is another reason I shave. I also don't jizz in her mouth unless she wants it.

What a gentleman!

And a proper lady says "thank you" upon swallowing.

Oh... all this time I've been saying "Can I have some more?"


Well now, how you doin'?
 
2012-11-26 10:59:35 PM

Dingleberry Dickwad: Uniquely Common:Oh... all this time I've been saying "Can I have some more?"

Well now, how you doin'?



Something tells me your username might be a turn-off in this situation.
 
2012-11-26 11:14:57 PM

Uniquely Common: StoPPeRmobile: SultanofSchwing: Keizer_Ghidorah: pute kisses like a man: Keizer_Ghidorah: SirEattonHogg: slayer199

2012-11-26 02:34:19 PM

I feel the same way about this as I do breast enhancement...leave that shiat alone. Ladies, your vaginas are beautiful as they are...no surgery is necessary....but please, please, please...wax your nether regions. I don't like looking like I fell of a bike and skinned my chin after a long session of giving oral


Or leave it au natural. Hairy is back.

Bleh, do not like hair in my mouth. At least groom it short. I shave myself, it feels a lot better.

i say just deal with it. oral is not for the guy's pleasure, it's for the ladies. you get hair in your mouth, that's life. probably less offensive than what women get in their mouth when they reciprocate. and normal sex is better when there's a hair.  so, deal with it.

Hey, I like to taste flesh, and so does the woman, which is another reason I shave. I also don't jizz in her mouth unless she wants it.

What a gentleman!

And a proper lady says "thank you" upon swallowing.

Oh... all this time I've been saying "Can I have some more?"


No one told you to stop!
 
2012-11-26 11:18:18 PM

Turbo Cojones: Maybe it's because I only go down on Asian/Native America/Nat. Blonde chicks, but I do not have this problem. Are you guys eating African Gorilla pussy?


i0.kym-cdn.com
 
2012-11-26 11:22:27 PM

Turbo Cojones: slayer199: PerilousApricot: I'm normally generous with using my mouth, but nobody likes a gorillas sandwich. It's really distracting to have to stop and sneeze.

Or pull the pubic dental floss out of your mouth.

Maybe it's because I only go down on Asian/Native America/Nat. Blonde chicks, but I do not have this problem. Are you guys eating African Gorilla pussy?


Your loss. Pale, tattooed brunettes are way better in bed than any of those demographics you are accustomed to.
 
2012-11-26 11:22:41 PM
Something sure smells fish when you're redesigning those now too.
 
2012-11-26 11:27:46 PM

kiwimoogle84: Turbo Cojones: slayer199: PerilousApricot: I'm normally generous with using my mouth, but nobody likes a gorillas sandwich. It's really distracting to have to stop and sneeze.

Or pull the pubic dental floss out of your mouth.

Maybe it's because I only go down on Asian/Native America/Nat. Blonde chicks, but I do not have this problem. Are you guys eating African Gorilla pussy?

Your loss. Pale, tattooed brunettes are way better in bed than any of those demographics you are accustomed to.


As someone who was once married to a pale, tatted brunette (when it wasn't dyed other odd colors), and has had a few of the other demographics mentioned, I gotta agree.
 
2012-11-26 11:30:50 PM

Dingleberry Dickwad: kiwimoogle84: Turbo Cojones: slayer199: PerilousApricot: I'm normally generous with using my mouth, but nobody likes a gorillas sandwich. It's really distracting to have to stop and sneeze.

Or pull the pubic dental floss out of your mouth.

Maybe it's because I only go down on Asian/Native America/Nat. Blonde chicks, but I do not have this problem. Are you guys eating African Gorilla pussy?

Your loss. Pale, tattooed brunettes are way better in bed than any of those demographics you are accustomed to.

As someone who was once married to a pale, tatted brunette (when it wasn't dyed other odd colors), and has had a few of the other demographics mentioned, I gotta agree.


*shrug* I am what I am.

Once married? Not so much anymore?
 
2012-11-26 11:36:55 PM

fluffy2097: Dirty Johnny goes to his dad and asks him "Hey pop? What does a vagina look like?"

His father hmms thoughtfully for a second and says "Before sex, a woman's vagina looks like a beautiful flower."

Dirty Johnny says "What do they look like after sex?"

His father thinks a moment more and responds, "Have you ever seen a bulldog eating mayonnaise?"


Thai food just shot out of my nose.
 
2012-11-26 11:37:41 PM

kiwimoogle84: Dingleberry Dickwad: kiwimoogle84: Turbo Cojones: slayer199: PerilousApricot: I'm normally generous with using my mouth, but nobody likes a gorillas sandwich. It's really distracting to have to stop and sneeze.

Or pull the pubic dental floss out of your mouth.

Maybe it's because I only go down on Asian/Native America/Nat. Blonde chicks, but I do not have this problem. Are you guys eating African Gorilla pussy?

Your loss. Pale, tattooed brunettes are way better in bed than any of those demographics you are accustomed to.

As someone who was once married to a pale, tatted brunette (when it wasn't dyed other odd colors), and has had a few of the other demographics mentioned, I gotta agree.

*shrug* I am what I am.

Once married? Not so much anymore?


Not unless I totally imagined my divorce years back. Long story short, I didn't just stick my dick into the bad kind of batshiat crazy, I went and married it.
 
2012-11-26 11:48:53 PM

poison_amy: Dingleberry Dickwad: poison_amy: Doctors ought to use mine as a reference. It's pretty much perfect.

You of course realize a statement like that is worthless without pics right?

Ohhh there's pics. Eip... Send me something to reply to and you can judge!


AI! MI GUSTA!!
 
2012-11-27 12:00:23 AM

dalovindj: Vaginas are great and all, feel wonderful and provide a way to pleasure your SO, but let's not kid each other. They are not beautiful. The episode of Entourage where Turtle gets freaked out when he's banging a model because the sun rises and shines directly on it in a bright room nailed it. Those things are FREAKY. And there are so many different kinds - you never know what you're going to get when you reach down there. Tight discreet slit or floppity roast beef special, every single one has it's own horrible surprises. Like some mutant slimey lottery.

Relationships are about give and take, so spend time down there doing the right thing. But calling them beautiful is just not accurate. The recent study that showed you are more inclined to do 'gross' things when you are turned on makes perfect sense. What person of reason would subject themselves to a close up view of such alien horror were their brain not in some way addled and tricked by chemicals?


You do realize Turtle is homosexual, don't you?
 
2012-11-27 12:04:32 AM
I have large inner labia. No man ever complained. In fact, most of them were rather pleased with how large my inner labia are, and love playing with them.

Ladies, if any man gives you shiat for having big meat, toss his sorry ass out of bed.
 
2012-11-27 12:08:17 AM
kiwimoogle84

Feminists don't give BJ's. at least, none that I know of.

I'm a feminist and I suck cock like a fiend. Then again, I'm a third-wave sex-positive feminist.

Know who else is a feminist? Nina Hartley. Go look it up. Wanting equality doesn't mean you hate sex.
 
2012-11-27 12:08:22 AM

AgentKGB: *NOT WORK SAFE IN ANY WAY SHAPE OR FORM*

don't worry I'm providing brain bleach as well

*NOT WORK SAFE*

*NOT WORK SAFE*


Mm. Domenika.
 
2012-11-27 12:08:25 AM

mcmnky: You do realize Turtle is homosexual, don't you?


Dude banged Meadow Soprano in fiction and real life. That's the kind of 'mo I could get behind.
 
2012-11-27 12:10:03 AM
 
2012-11-27 12:13:26 AM
I'm not sure wet wipes count as vaginal hygiene... Showers would do a lot more for a gal.
 
2012-11-27 12:22:50 AM
I think georgia o'keeffe was a wonderful artist. don't you?

michaelnewberry.com
 
2012-11-27 12:48:34 AM

kiwimoogle84: Um, tell me more about these wet, slippery fingers?


Well... they tend to get that way when I'm exploring. I always like to survey the territory when I'm goin' downtown. To me, it's almost as fun to look at and play with as it is to eat. Note that I said almost. Nothing beats the taste of a woman. Or the sensation of her response to being tasted. And I especially love to lick off the fingers which have been deep inside. Dee-lish!
 
2012-11-27 01:19:35 AM

kiwimoogle84: Turbo Cojones: slayer199: PerilousApricot: I'm normally generous with using my mouth, but nobody likes a gorillas sandwich. It's really distracting to have to stop and sneeze.

Or pull the pubic dental floss out of your mouth.

Maybe it's because I only go down on Asian/Native America/Nat. Blonde chicks, but I do not have this problem. Are you guys eating African Gorilla pussy?

Your loss. Pale, tattooed brunettes are way better in bed than any of those demographics you are accustomed to.


This.
 
2012-11-27 01:36:48 AM

Skirl Hutsenreiter: The solution isn't always more cleaning products. It's a sensitive area and over drying the skin or causing an allergic reaction can lead to yeast infections, which is a step backwards.


Nobody's suggesting to get up in your shiat with a sandblaster and an industrial-grade degreaser, you know. Giving the vulva a once-over with a moist towelette will do the trick, as long as you're otherwise properly hygienic. Hell, they make wet wipes for that specific purpose that are hypoallergenic, sterile, light on chemicals, and in a variety of scents and flavors including "none of the above".
 
2012-11-27 01:59:50 AM

MeanJean: kiwimoogle84

Feminists don't give BJ's. at least, none that I know of.

I'm a feminist and I suck cock like a fiend. Then again, I'm a third-wave sex-positive feminist.

Know who else is a feminist? Nina Hartley. Go look it up. Wanting equality doesn't mean you hate sex.


My apologies. I didn't mean to lump you in without knowing you. My trouble with all of the women I know who are progressive and feminist, they want equality on all levels but then still expect the men to open their doors, pay for all their meals, and do over the top romantic stuff on Valentine's day. And they don't give head because they find it "demeaning". That's the part I never got.

In my opinion, you can't complain about having inferior wages when you won't even go Dutch on a dinner or, heaven forbid, foot the bill. You've gotta pick one way or the other. And don't expect him to go down south if you won't.

Don't know if that makes sense, lady friend, but that's how I see it.

Absolutely equality in women's rights and all, but personally, I don't mind being treated like the little lady who gets a spank while I'm prepping dinner in high heels and a frilly apron, and I'd happily stay home and be an adorable housewife if I had the option.

So that's how I see it. Just my two cents. And boy, I know who Nina Hartley is. :) hope I didn't offend! I just have had bad exposure I suppose.
 
2012-11-27 02:01:22 AM

o'really: I'm not sure wet wipes count as vaginal hygiene... Showers would do a lot more for a gal.


I meant between showers and/or before sex or oral. No guy wants to lick TP lint.
 
2012-11-27 02:03:25 AM

Harold_of_the_Rocks: Some of us guys like them big and juicy. I'll just leave this here. NSFW IN ANY WAY.


some of those just aren't safe... at all....
 
2012-11-27 02:36:47 AM
I know kiwi, I was just givin you a hard time. Congrats on submitting pix of your own self-loved long-lipped labia to that blog. I have my own issues with feminism, but yeah, you need to meet more feminists, they're not all hypocritical snatches.

I'm intrigued by the g-spot injections. Is this so oblivious men can find it?

/heh, spell check sez labia's not a word.
 
2012-11-27 03:09:27 AM

kiwimoogle84: o'really: I'm not sure wet wipes count as vaginal hygiene... Showers would do a lot more for a gal.

I meant between showers and/or before sex or oral. No guy wants to lick TP lint.


Why not just start the sex in the shower? The cleaner you are when you start, the dirtier the sex can get! Besides, us guys can get pretty gamy, too, and I'm sure you don't want to deal with that any more than he does with you.

As for TP lint... In very spontaneous, lurid moments, I've braved the TP lint, tampon strings, periods, etc. It all comes with the territory, and sometimes you just gotta go for the gusto. When the mood hits, it hits. Sometimes hygiene just isn't as important as the moment. (What doesn't kill you makes you stronger, right?) In those cases, you can always shower afterwards and just pretend that you showered beforehand. If it all went well, nobody really cares at that point anyway. It'll all wash off/out/whatever. It's worth it. :-D
 
2012-11-27 04:31:15 AM
Personally, I prefer a 'gorilla sandwich' to the bare alternative. That said, if you truly are a hairy beast, trim a little, I don't want my non-existent tonsils tickled by pubes.

Other than that, a daily wash, (more if you have your period or have a problem) good health and being aroused are all that are needed.

/Why yes, I am a lesbian and I do adore me some vaginasandwich, thank you.
//As for this surgery stuff, or using a douche stuff for that matter, no way. Nope. Not needed, not desirable and weird too.
 
2012-11-27 07:10:24 AM
www.homorazzi.com
 
2012-11-27 12:49:59 PM
This thread has convinced me to finally write my own version of "The Vagina Monologues."

I've always hated the original, floofy, bullshiat written by Eve Ensler.
 
2012-11-27 12:52:13 PM

Fark Me To Tears: kiwimoogle84: o'really: I'm not sure wet wipes count as vaginal hygiene... Showers would do a lot more for a gal.

I meant between showers and/or before sex or oral. No guy wants to lick TP lint.

Why not just start the sex in the shower? The cleaner you are when you start, the dirtier the sex can get! Besides, us guys can get pretty gamy, too, and I'm sure you don't want to deal with that any more than he does with you.

As for TP lint... In very spontaneous, lurid moments, I've braved the TP lint, tampon strings, periods, etc. It all comes with the territory, and sometimes you just gotta go for the gusto. When the mood hits, it hits. Sometimes hygiene just isn't as important as the moment. (What doesn't kill you makes you stronger, right?) In those cases, you can always shower afterwards and just pretend that you showered beforehand. If it all went well, nobody really cares at that point anyway. It'll all wash off/out/whatever. It's worth it. :-D


You make a valid point, sir. But lets just suppose I'm the type who'd tackle you as I got home from work? I guess I could let you drag me upstairs to the shower. But pruney fingers are a turn off and too much water washes away natural lube. *shrug*
 
2012-11-27 02:12:07 PM

kiwimoogle84: Fark Me To Tears: kiwimoogle84: o'really: I'm not sure wet wipes count as vaginal hygiene... Showers would do a lot more for a gal.

I meant between showers and/or before sex or oral. No guy wants to lick TP lint.

Why not just start the sex in the shower? The cleaner you are when you start, the dirtier the sex can get! Besides, us guys can get pretty gamy, too, and I'm sure you don't want to deal with that any more than he does with you.

As for TP lint... In very spontaneous, lurid moments, I've braved the TP lint, tampon strings, periods, etc. It all comes with the territory, and sometimes you just gotta go for the gusto. When the mood hits, it hits. Sometimes hygiene just isn't as important as the moment. (What doesn't kill you makes you stronger, right?) In those cases, you can always shower afterwards and just pretend that you showered beforehand. If it all went well, nobody really cares at that point anyway. It'll all wash off/out/whatever. It's worth it. :-D

You make a valid point, sir. But lets just suppose I'm the type who'd tackle you as I got home from work? I guess I could let you drag me upstairs to the shower. But pruney fingers are a turn off and too much water washes away natural lube. *shrug*


you women are so specific with your likes and dislikes. Really? Pruny fingers? I've had my fingers get wrinkly because I was down there a little longer than normal.
 
2012-11-27 02:47:40 PM

SuperChuck: kiwimoogle84: Fark Me To Tears: kiwimoogle84: o'really: I'm not sure wet wipes count as vaginal hygiene... Showers would do a lot more for a gal.

I meant between showers and/or before sex or oral. No guy wants to lick TP lint.

Why not just start the sex in the shower? The cleaner you are when you start, the dirtier the sex can get! Besides, us guys can get pretty gamy, too, and I'm sure you don't want to deal with that any more than he does with you.

As for TP lint... In very spontaneous, lurid moments, I've braved the TP lint, tampon strings, periods, etc. It all comes with the territory, and sometimes you just gotta go for the gusto. When the mood hits, it hits. Sometimes hygiene just isn't as important as the moment. (What doesn't kill you makes you stronger, right?) In those cases, you can always shower afterwards and just pretend that you showered beforehand. If it all went well, nobody really cares at that point anyway. It'll all wash off/out/whatever. It's worth it. :-D

You make a valid point, sir. But lets just suppose I'm the type who'd tackle you as I got home from work? I guess I could let you drag me upstairs to the shower. But pruney fingers are a turn off and too much water washes away natural lube. *shrug*

you women are so specific with your likes and dislikes. Really? Pruny fingers? I've had my fingers get wrinkly because I was down there a little longer than normal.


I don't take that long I suppose. *shrug*
 
2012-11-27 03:46:19 PM

Snickony: This thread has convinced me to finally write my own version of "The Vagina Monologues."

I've always hated the original, floofy, bullshiat written by Eve Ensler.


I'd show you the screenplay I wrote for "The Vagina Dialogues", but I don't think you'd be impressed...all the characters are foul-mouthed c*nts.
 
2012-11-27 07:02:06 PM

Loaf's Tray: Snickony: This thread has convinced me to finally write my own version of "The Vagina Monologues."

I've always hated the original, floofy, bullshiat written by Eve Ensler.

I'd show you the screenplay I wrote for "The Vagina Dialogues", but I don't think you'd be impressed...all the characters are foul-mouthed c*nts.


That sounds like something I'd be interested in. Cootchi-snortcher? Blegh. Bloody beef curtains.
 
2012-11-27 07:36:00 PM

kiwimoogle84: Fark Me To Tears: kiwimoogle84: o'really: I'm not sure wet wipes count as vaginal hygiene... Showers would do a lot more for a gal.

I meant between showers and/or before sex or oral. No guy wants to lick TP lint.

Why not just start the sex in the shower? The cleaner you are when you start, the dirtier the sex can get! Besides, us guys can get pretty gamy, too, and I'm sure you don't want to deal with that any more than he does with you.

As for TP lint... In very spontaneous, lurid moments, I've braved the TP lint, tampon strings, periods, etc. It all comes with the territory, and sometimes you just gotta go for the gusto. When the mood hits, it hits. Sometimes hygiene just isn't as important as the moment. (What doesn't kill you makes you stronger, right?) In those cases, you can always shower afterwards and just pretend that you showered beforehand. If it all went well, nobody really cares at that point anyway. It'll all wash off/out/whatever. It's worth it. :-D

You make a valid point, sir. But lets just suppose I'm the type who'd tackle you as I got home from work? I guess I could let you drag me upstairs to the shower. But pruney fingers are a turn off and too much water washes away natural lube. *shrug*


You know... I like the way you think. We could just compromise and stop at the stairs and just go for it right there. Stairs can actually work very well (as long as the hand rails don't pull loose).
 
2012-11-27 11:08:45 PM
Ok, this IS a bookmark, for when I get off work...
 
2012-11-28 11:41:52 AM
of interest
 
2012-11-29 12:25:23 PM

Fark Me To Tears: kiwimoogle84: Fark Me To Tears: kiwimoogle84: o'really: I'm not sure wet wipes count as vaginal hygiene... Showers would do a lot more for a gal.

I meant between showers and/or before sex or oral. No guy wants to lick TP lint.

Why not just start the sex in the shower? The cleaner you are when you start, the dirtier the sex can get! Besides, us guys can get pretty gamy, too, and I'm sure you don't want to deal with that any more than he does with you.

As for TP lint... In very spontaneous, lurid moments, I've braved the TP lint, tampon strings, periods, etc. It all comes with the territory, and sometimes you just gotta go for the gusto. When the mood hits, it hits. Sometimes hygiene just isn't as important as the moment. (What doesn't kill you makes you stronger, right?) In those cases, you can always shower afterwards and just pretend that you showered beforehand. If it all went well, nobody really cares at that point anyway. It'll all wash off/out/whatever. It's worth it. :-D

You make a valid point, sir. But lets just suppose I'm the type who'd tackle you as I got home from work? I guess I could let you drag me upstairs to the shower. But pruney fingers are a turn off and too much water washes away natural lube. *shrug*

You know... I like the way you think. We could just compromise and stop at the stairs and just go for it right there. Stairs can actually work very well (as long as the hand rails don't pull loose).


I love this thread... So much snark and suggestions... But I digress...

Years ago, when I was a young Arcturus, my then girlfriend (now ex wife, long story), a best friend, and I were out strolling around a series of houses under construction... Yes, alcohol WAS involved, in mass quantities... But... We found the perfect house for traipsing in... 2 stories, with a ginormous hot tub style bathtub in the (soon to be) master bedroom's bathroom... Well, while my best bud was out looking for stuff to swipe or set on fire, the gf and I decided to "christen" their tub... But I had to pull out her tampon before I could dive in... She was mortified as all hell, but me? I didn't care as long as I was having fun and getting lucky (I was 18 at the time, so of course)... So yes, I'm all about the adventure and having fun when it comes to sex...

Now on topic, I see some of the videos people have linked to from here and have to ask "Why the Fark would you do that to your lady bits?"... I probably speak for 90% of men who love all shapes, sizes, and looks of lady bits, and as long as the hygiene is there, I'm willing to do plenty to it... And I will agree with a woman doing Kegels... We DO love it, at least in my experience... And if you're doing it correctly, it will help you get off nearly as much as it will help him...

And kiwimoogle84, just based on your profile pic (which is awesome, btw) it looks as if you've already found a cloning machine... Then again, your level of snark ensured you show up in a nice color to me a loooong time ago...
 
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