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(NBC 29 Charlottesville)   Mall security practice new "catch and release" program for child abductors   (nbc29.com) divider line 16
    More: Dumbass, child abductor, Christian Colleges, Virginia Department of Transportation, health care overhaul, children's rights, Albemarle County, UVA, Fashion Square Mall  
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10000 clicks; posted to Main » on 26 Nov 2012 at 3:33 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Archived thread
2012-11-26 03:34:53 PM
8 votes:
♪ Every Kidnapping Begins with Kay ♪
2012-11-26 07:51:27 PM
2 votes:

namegoeshere: I like it!


Apparently, he ran smack into a tree on his egress. Fell over. Got up and started running down a stream to cover his tracks. Didn't see the water fall. Crawled into a culvert under a road, and when he thought the heat was off, left the culvert, stepped on some rocksnot, and landed on the bank.
At least, that's what the rugby players told me.
2012-11-26 07:18:28 PM
2 votes:

namegoeshere:

I am a small farkette and not very tough but had it been my kid he'd be easy to find by his walking funny from his sudden lack of balls and from my claw marks down his face. Mamma bear and all.


Had a 95 pound girl in my Aikido class in 75. I asked the teacher to pair me up with her and got permission to shadow her tehnique, which was piss poor. I told her one day at lunch her style was slacking and she was going to get raped sooner or later. Slouched shoulders, no stance when confronted. She was pissed. I said, "hey, you can do that if you are comfy being a target, but when confronted, you have to snap into attitude and kill mode, kid."
Long story short: Abour tow weeks later, (and she had taken to heart our little talk) she was attacked walking alone at night. I got to the dorm (It was co-ed) and cops were in the lobby. She had a shiner, and was holding a gauze to her nose. I got close enough to hear them ask for a description. Her answer:

He's got two black eyes, a broken nose, at least two broken ribs, he's limping, and holding his balls.

I laughed. and so did she. And blood came out her nose, and she kept laughing.

BFF after that.

They found the guy in a ditch, worse off than she described him.

I guess he fell down a lot trying to get away.
2012-11-26 04:35:23 PM
2 votes:

DROxINxTHExWIND: super_grass: I thought Fark had an understanding that private security had no ability to detain people.

Or does this duty only extend to stopping crimes we happen to care a lot about?

Hey, look everybody. THis guy is pro- child abductor. Lets all booo him.


/Boooooooo!!!
//Oh, you're just being a contrarian.


No I'm not.
2012-11-26 03:57:24 PM
2 votes:
The suspect is described as a light skinned black male with glasses

www.celebrity-sunglasses-finder.com

He's back, and he wants your babbies!
2012-11-26 03:48:15 PM
2 votes:

ChipNASA: SUbtard
I think "youre" misplaced quotetation "finger marks" are in the improper location for the headline being understandable to the breadth of Farkdom, not to mention pointing out the misgrammidical usage of Said marking in the sentances
.does we haves to diagram it for you??


Give him a break. He's posting from a van down by the river
2012-11-26 03:39:13 PM
2 votes:
SUbtard
I think "youre" misplaced quotetation "finger marks" are in the improper location for the headline being understandable to the breadth of Farkdom, not to mention pointing out the misgrammidical usage of Said marking in the sentances
.does we haves to diagram it for you??
2012-11-26 02:41:29 PM
2 votes:
They need a new head of security at that mall.

s11.postimage.org
2012-11-26 07:57:56 PM
1 votes:
Very surprising, mall cops tend to be the best of the best.
2012-11-26 06:31:13 PM
1 votes:
Security kills them, you people biatch. Security lets them go, you people biatch.

It's time to pick a side already!
2012-11-26 05:00:33 PM
1 votes:

Nana's Vibrator: Mall security escorted the man off the premises and were last heard saying "Aww. Cheer up, little buckaroo. You'll get her next time! OK, See you at the next meeting, Ed!"


img824.imageshack.us

"You got me! I'll get him, though, I'll get him."
"Ha ha, I bet you will."
2012-11-26 04:35:32 PM
1 votes:
I was hoping for a report that read: "Suspect was escorted off the property, and received multiple life-threatening injuries when he tripped over the curb. EMS was summoned, but suspect refused treatment or transport. Suspect's corpse was later discovered in a ditch just outside the Mall's prperty line."
2012-11-26 04:18:14 PM
1 votes:
They should've hired the Wal-mart security guy from an earlier fark article. If he can kill a shoplifter, I think he can hurt a child abductor.
2012-11-26 04:08:00 PM
1 votes:
Mall security escorted the man off the premises and were last heard saying "Aww. Cheer up, little buckaroo. You'll get her next time! OK, See you at the next meeting, Ed!"
2012-11-26 04:04:12 PM
1 votes:

super_grass: I thought Fark had an understanding that private security had no ability to detain people.

Or does this duty only extend to stopping crimes we happen to care a lot about?


Hey, look everybody. THis guy is pro- child abductor. Lets all booo him.


/Boooooooo!!!
//Oh, you're just being a contrarian.
2012-11-26 04:00:15 PM
1 votes:

Mr. Cat Poop: ChipNASA: SUbtard
I think "youre" misplaced quotetation "finger marks" are in the improper location for the headline being understandable to the breadth of Farkdom, not to mention pointing out the misgrammidical usage of Said marking in the sentances
.does we haves to diagram it for you??

huh?
/subby


"Mall Security"
/"military intelligence"
//"Fark expert"
///"Your Mom"
 
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