Do you have adblock enabled?
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Today Online)   New study says that late term sex does not induce labor. Researchers conclude that the only sex that really induces labor is the sex that happened nine months earlier   (todayonline.com) divider line 65
    More: Spiffy, contractual term, sexes, Ohio State University  
•       •       •

2057 clicks; posted to Main » on 26 Nov 2012 at 8:12 AM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



65 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

Archived thread

First | « | 1 | 2 | » | Last | Show all
 
2012-11-26 08:15:44 AM  
Well don't tell my wife that now.

/38 weeks
 
2012-11-26 08:15:53 AM  
Which makes a horny pregnant woman less awesome because...?
 
2012-11-26 08:16:14 AM  
I remember when my son was about a week late, being told to go get busy.

best use of our time ever.
 
2012-11-26 08:17:31 AM  

King_Web: Which makes a horny pregnant woman less awesome because...?


Absolutely no reason.

/Keep calm and carry on good sir.
 
2012-11-26 08:17:38 AM  
Yeah, so stuff it bloated hippos - we don't wanna diddle you when junior is about to come out for air.
 
2012-11-26 08:18:17 AM  
When a pregnant woman wants pickle and ice cream, she's not asking you to go to the grocery store...
 
2012-11-26 08:19:35 AM  

Public Savant: Yeah, so stuff it bloated hippos - we don't wanna diddle you when junior is about to come out for air.


Speak for yourself, and I guess if your pregnant wife or girlfriend (if you're not forever alone) wants some send her my way.
 
2012-11-26 08:19:46 AM  
How do asian gynecologists even examine all those vaginas with those pixels in front of it.
 
2012-11-26 08:20:27 AM  
Just be careful when you stick it in. You don't want to inadvertantly give your baby a mushroom-shaped dent in his fontanels.

Boy, would that be embarassing.
 
2012-11-26 08:23:29 AM  

BronyMedic: Just be careful when you stick it in. You don't want to inadvertantly give your baby a mushroom-shaped dent in his fontanels.

Boy, would that be embarassing.


If something like that happened to you as a kid... would you let it go to your head?
 
2012-11-26 08:24:19 AM  

sexorcisst: How do asian gynecologists even examine all those vaginas with those pixels in front of it.


Haha....I mean, what are you talking about?
 
2012-11-26 08:24:59 AM  

sexorcisst: How do asian gynecologists even examine all those vaginas with those pixels in front of it.


www.troll.me
 
2012-11-26 08:30:58 AM  
I enjoy how the internet has managed to catalog every situation where I either didn't have sex when it was likely or how average and normal people are having way more sex than I am.

Kill me. Kill me now.
 
2012-11-26 08:31:44 AM  
Unless I see it on Mythbusters, no amount of science can convince me one way or the nother.
 
2012-11-26 08:33:57 AM  
How is this spiffy? How Subby? HOOOWWWW?

Show_The_O_Face: Well don't tell my wife that now.

/38 weeks


Nor mine! These reckless researches aren't helping anyone!

/24 weeks, but was looking forward to the last few weeks.
/That's it, I'm gonna join the Republicans, and just pretend this science doesn't exist.
 
2012-11-26 08:35:15 AM  
Ahhh, the week after the delivery is when the primo sex happens. With the cervix still dialated, you can breach the castle wall like a coked out Gary Busey playing Henry the Fifth for two nights at the Excalibur. It's like there's a little monkey up there squeezing and polishing the tip every time it juts into the uterus. You just have to be careful not to spurt that deep inside or you might force fertilize her entire egg store at once. If that happens, her pussy will split itself barfing tadpoles in about three months, leaving you to raise the kid on your own. Not what you are looking for, my man.
 
2012-11-26 08:38:20 AM  

spentmiles: you can breach the castle wall like a coked out Gary Busey playing Henry the Fifth for two nights at the Excalibur.


Don't ever change.
 
2012-11-26 08:39:55 AM  

Shadow Blasko: BronyMedic: Just be careful when you stick it in. You don't want to inadvertantly give your baby a mushroom-shaped dent in his fontanels.

Boy, would that be embarassing.

If something like that happened to you as a kid... would you let it go to your head?


Well, do you ever wonder how babies get hydrocephaly? Or come out with scalp bruises.

Dad thrust too hard. QED. :)
 
2012-11-26 08:40:54 AM  
This needed a study because?

/anyone who watches preg porn knows this already
//not that I regularly watch it
///not my cup of tea that is
////don't judge me bro
 
2012-11-26 08:41:48 AM  
spentmiles

Damn you, sir, you made me spit out my drink.
 
2012-11-26 08:42:36 AM  
Oh lord, I'm gonna be a goner by the time this is all through. 15 weeks in and the dial is swiftly approaching 11. She's a damn fiend.

/lovin' it while I can, when the twins arrive I'll have my hands full.
 
2012-11-26 08:43:31 AM  

croesius: Oh lord, I'm gonna be a goner by the time this is all through. 15 weeks in and the dial is swiftly approaching 11. She's a damn fiend.

/lovin' it while I can, when the twins arrive I'll have my hands full.


Enjoy those handfulls while they are perky...

Oh wait.. you .. Oh!
 
2012-11-26 08:44:00 AM  
What difference is it to Subby what my wife gives me for Christmas?
 
2012-11-26 08:47:49 AM  
Agreed, pregnant sex = awesome. Possibly better than the beginning-of-relationship sex.

Now that the old lady has had a hysterectomy, and they haven't got her hormones right yet, we go from awesome monkey sex twice a day to month-long dry spells.

Bollocks.
 
2012-11-26 09:01:15 AM  

Shadow Blasko: croesius: Oh lord, I'm gonna be a goner by the time this is all through. 15 weeks in and the dial is swiftly approaching 11. She's a damn fiend.

/lovin' it while I can, when the twins arrive I'll have my hands full.

Enjoy those handfulls while they are perky...

Oh wait.. you .. Oh!


Haaaaa, well played sir. Well played.

Best thing about "the book": their advice to go nuts and try all kinda positioning.
 
2012-11-26 09:03:12 AM  
I and my wife and our last child would beg to differ with the findings. Baby was late, we got bizay, and BOOM comes the baby. The effect was pretty much immediate--within the hour, contractions began and didn't let up. Yes, it's anecdotal, but I'm still convinced it worked.
 
2012-11-26 09:04:38 AM  

maddermaxx: How is this spiffy? How Subby? HOOOWWWW?

Show_The_O_Face: Well don't tell my wife that now.

/38 weeks

Nor mine! These reckless researches aren't helping anyone!

/24 weeks, but was looking forward to the last few weeks.
/That's it, I'm gonna join the Republicans, and just pretend this science doesn't exist.


Good news for you, then. I'll happily take care of your wife while you're off reading about homeopathy, energy healing, herbal remedies, the evils of nuclear power and genetically modified food, and all the rest of that super-sciencey stuff so popular on the Left.
 
2012-11-26 09:07:13 AM  

Towermonkey: Now that the old lady has had a hysterectomy, and they haven't got her hormones right yet, we go from awesome monkey sex twice a day to month-long dry spells.


I hope you guys figure out the correct cocktail soon, brother. My friend's wife had the hysto and she went nuts. Very ugly end to that marriage. Now she parties like a twenty year old (she's in her late 50s) and he is happily remarried so it worked out for both of them, eventually.
 
2012-11-26 09:09:18 AM  
So subby doesn't understand that labor != conception? And I'm with the group of guys that says if you don't want to mess around with your pregnant girl you can send them my way. Won't do any harm she's already pregnant.
 
2012-11-26 09:16:07 AM  

meanmutton: Good news for you, then. I'll happily take care of your wife while you're off reading about homeopathy, energy healing, herbal remedies, the evils of nuclear power and genetically modified food, and all the rest of that super-sciencey stuff so popular on the Left.Far left and far right.


Dude, I hate to break this to you, but anti-science crap like that knows no political boudaries. On the left, it tends to be based on spirtial belief and a distrust of Government regulation and safety. On the right it tends to be based on Fundamentalist Christian Belief, and the idea that Government should not regulate alternative medicine companies. Mike Adams, for example, the proprietor of NaturalNews.com would be described as far left. Barbera Fischer, the creator of the anti-vaccination NVIC group, could be described as Far Right.
 
2012-11-26 09:26:52 AM  

BronyMedic: meanmutton: Good news for you, then. I'll happily take care of your wife while you're off reading about homeopathy, energy healing, herbal remedies, the evils of nuclear power and genetically modified food, and all the rest of that super-sciencey stuff so popular on the Left.Far left and far right.

Dude, I hate to break this to you, but anti-science crap like that knows no political boudaries. On the left, it tends to be based on spirtial belief and a distrust of Government regulation and safety. On the right it tends to be based on Fundamentalist Christian Belief, and the idea that Government should not regulate alternative medicine companies. Mike Adams, for example, the proprietor of NaturalNews.com would be described as far left. Barbera Fischer, the creator of the anti-vaccination NVIC group, could be described as Far Right.


Funny cause I know way more lefty anti vaxers.

/not an anti vaxer
//Sex didnt work when I was a week late so I went on to have a four day long induction. fml.
 
2012-11-26 09:28:51 AM  
"New study says that late term sex does not induce labor"

Somebody tell these researchers to mind their own damn business!
 
2012-11-26 09:31:17 AM  
Is it sexual abuse if you poke the baby on the way out?
 
2012-11-26 09:49:26 AM  
It's the closest most farkers will ever come to having a threesome.
 
2012-11-26 09:56:03 AM  

spentmiles: Ahhh, the week after the delivery is when the primo sex happens. With the cervix still dialated, you can breach the castle wall like a coked out Gary Busey playing Henry the Fifth for two nights at the Excalibur. It's like there's a little monkey up there squeezing and polishing the tip every time it juts into the uterus. You just have to be careful not to spurt that deep inside or you might force fertilize her entire egg store at once. If that happens, her pussy will split itself barfing tadpoles in about three months, leaving you to raise the kid on your own. Not what you are looking for, my man.


It's like Hunter S. Thompson never entered low Earth orbit.
 
2012-11-26 09:58:29 AM  

Cythraul: Is it sexual abuse if you poke the baby on the way out?


Only when it's a breech birth.

/yeah,. I went there...conceptually...so to speak...
 
2012-11-26 10:06:39 AM  
New study says that late term sex does not induce labor

Like foreskin doesn't cause aids, it doesn't!!

Quite how American medicine manages to think of itself so highly, I'll never know. The rest of the world simply knows that sex during pregnancy is healthy for all parties involved, and I'd never heard of late-term sex-inducing labour until this article presented this old-wives tale as accepted medical practice.
 
2012-11-26 10:10:04 AM  

ace in your face: Funny cause I know way more lefty anti vaxers.


The ones on the left are your "Anti-Science" Anti-vaxxers. They're the ones that think Ethyl Mercury Preservatives cause Autism, or laud the "toxins" that make up a vaccine while being completely ignorant about the basic principle "Dose makes a poison".

The ones on the right tend to be the "Religious" Anti-vaxxers. Up until the 1970s, these were the most common in the United States. The Religious ones either claim that it's against God's will to vaccinate, or that the Government has no right to force vaccinations in the interest of public health. But they're also guilty of a fair amount of Anti-Science and toxin gambit themselves.

Valiente: Only when it's a breech birth.


Better than an umbilical prolapse, or canal entrapment. Then you get to teach mom what the meaning of "Fisting" is until you get into the OB Suite.
 
2012-11-26 10:16:48 AM  
Talk about a letdown.
 
2012-11-26 10:44:48 AM  

No Time To Explain: This needed a study because?


Because most doctors would like their medical advice to come with some scientific backing more thorough than "I've always heard..."

croesius: Oh lord, I'm gonna be a goner by the time this is all through. 15 weeks in and the dial is swiftly approaching 11. She's a damn fiend.


The second trimester isn't to be confused with a sign of things to come. It is a unique and wonderful time.

uttertosh: Quite how American medicine manages to think of itself so highly, I'll never know. The rest of the world simply knows that sex during pregnancy is healthy for all parties involved, and I'd never heard of late-term sex-inducing labour until this article presented this old-wives tale as accepted medical practice.


Incredible, then that this article is based on a study originated and performed in... wait for it... Malaysia. Mind your step coming down from your pedestal, genius.

My wife is a natural childbirth instructor and has heard the wives' tale described in TFA but has seen only evidence of sex ripening the cervix, in which cervix softens and becomes more distensible, a process required for cervical dilation, labor and delivery of a fetus. She has never found any evidence to support the induction claim, which puts it in the same category of walking up stairs, eating spicy foods, you name it.

I have to wonder if there's any truth to the thunderstorm correlation. All of our children were born on days with incoming thunderstorms, during which the L&D suites of the respective hospitals were flooded with patients. Who knows? Not exactly something you can plan.
 
2012-11-26 11:00:29 AM  

Shadow Blasko: spentmiles: you can breach the castle wall like a coked out Gary Busey playing Henry the Fifth for two nights at the Excalibur.

Don't ever change.


Yet another line that becomes his Farky tag. I might just save myself the time and mark him 'Most Frequently Changed Tag'.
 
2012-11-26 11:04:26 AM  
I had a Sexuality professor tell us that sex does nothing to induce labor. It's all about the female orgasm because it causes contractions of the uterus when done right.
 
2012-11-26 11:05:32 AM  
Sex doesn't help induce labor - orgasm helps induce labor. The uterine contractions help get the party started.
 
2012-11-26 11:22:06 AM  
There are women who still want to have sex at that point? Somewhere in the middle of my 5th month it just became entirely too uncomfortable. Then again, I hated being pregnant start to finish. Maybe it's the "oh, pregnancy just makes me glow" women.
 
2012-11-26 11:37:55 AM  

Kali-Ma: There are women who still want to have sex at that point? Somewhere in the middle of my 5th month it just became entirely too uncomfortable. Then again, I hated being pregnant start to finish. Maybe it's the "oh, pregnancy just makes me glow" women.


Bioluminescent baby?
 
2012-11-26 11:59:30 AM  

Shadow Blasko: spentmiles: you can breach the castle wall like a coked out Gary Busey playing Henry the Fifth for two nights at the Excalibur.

Don't ever change.

post. FTFE
 
2012-11-26 12:11:58 PM  

factoryconnection: No Time To Explain: This needed a study because?

Because most doctors would like their medical advice to come with some scientific backing more thorough than "I've always heard..."

croesius: Oh lord, I'm gonna be a goner by the time this is all through. 15 weeks in and the dial is swiftly approaching 11. She's a damn fiend.

The second trimester isn't to be confused with a sign of things to come. It is a unique and wonderful time.

uttertosh: Quite how American medicine manages to think of itself so highly, I'll never know. The rest of the world simply knows that sex during pregnancy is healthy for all parties involved, and I'd never heard of late-term sex-inducing labour until this article presented this old-wives tale as accepted medical practice.

Incredible, then that this article is based on a study originated and performed in... wait for it... Malaysia. Mind your step coming down from your pedestal, genius.

My wife is a natural childbirth instructor and has heard the wives' tale described in TFA but has seen only evidence of sex ripening the cervix, in which cervix softens and becomes more distensible, a process required for cervical dilation, labor and delivery of a fetus. She has never found any evidence to support the induction claim, which puts it in the same category of walking up stairs, eating spicy foods, you name it.

I have to wonder if there's any truth to the thunderstorm correlation. All of our children were born on days with incoming thunderstorms, during which the L&D suites of the respective hospitals were flooded with patients. Who knows? Not exactly something you can plan.


I was with you until the thunderstorms comment. Now I just don't know what to think, it kind of invalidates everything else you said.

/Seriously through me.
 
2012-11-26 12:12:54 PM  
*threw

/dammit
 
2012-11-26 12:18:45 PM  

gilatrout: When a pregnant woman wants pickle and ice cream, she's not asking you to go to the grocery store...


I can't believe I got as far in life as I have without getting that joke.
 
2012-11-26 12:19:51 PM  

factoryconnection: I have to wonder if there's any truth to the thunderstorm correlation. All of our children were born on days with incoming thunderstorms


I've met medical personnel that are absolutely convinced that sudden changes in barometric pressure send women into labor. There had been a sudden drop in barometric pressure when I went into labor. The hospital was so packed with women giving birth I had to pace the waiting room for families for over an hour because there were no birth suites available. Once I'd given birth, there was a frantic rush to clean the room so someone else could come in.
 
Displayed 50 of 65 comments

First | « | 1 | 2 | » | Last | Show all

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »
Advertisement
On Twitter





In Other Media


  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.

Report