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(NBC News)   New black Friday deal: shoplift 2 DVD players from Walmart, get a free trip to the morgue   (usnews.nbcnews.com) divider line 27
    More: Scary, Wal-Mart, DVD, Lithonia, gas explosion  
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15868 clicks; posted to Main » on 26 Nov 2012 at 12:01 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Archived thread
2012-11-25 08:54:09 PM
17 votes:
They steal your dvd players, you send one of theirs to the morgue. It's the Walmart way.
2012-11-26 12:25:26 AM
6 votes:

fusillade762: "No amount of merchandise is worth someone's life,"

Especially not two DVD players. What are they these days, $20?


It's not like they were DVDs, which are worth a quarter million each.
2012-11-25 10:38:11 PM
5 votes:

ThatGuyFromTheInternet: This sounds like it'd inspire one of the inferior episodes of Law & Order. Where Lennie Briscoe quips, "Well, looks like checked out anyways" and the whole thing is an Aesop about corporate greed and cover-up.


Or an episode of SVU where they find out he was shoplifting them to entertain a fleet of teenage prostitutes, and at some point Ice T asks "What kind of sick bastard...?" The whole department is always surprised when it turns out to be some weird sex crime, even though presumably they're aware they work in SVU, where the crimes are promised to be particularly heinous.
2012-11-26 12:26:04 AM
3 votes:
Test your might.

Shopping Combat!
2012-11-26 12:18:33 AM
3 votes:
He walked right through the door. Walked right through the door.Hey all right! If he gets by, it's his. His all his!

LET'S GO!
2012-11-26 02:08:13 AM
2 votes:
Discount double choke?
2012-11-26 01:39:18 AM
2 votes:
i.chzbgr.com
2012-11-25 09:11:04 PM
2 votes:
department. what the hell has happened when i can spell correctly but it's the wrong words?
2012-11-26 02:10:43 PM
1 votes:

gweilo8888: PaLarkin: I'm sure somebody here will post something saying I'm a mean, cruel, heartless person because I don't feel sorry for the poor little thief. And the evil corporation should just give stuff away and it's their selfishness that caused this. How many of you would be so generous if it were your stuff the guy was stealing?

This. The hurr durr guntard and dogtard crowd are always in here baying about how they're going to shoot / sick their bloodthirsty mutt on anybody who much as steps on their property because self-defense, hero complex, constitutional amendments and FREEDUMZ!!!

Half of them would've taken this guy down for a pack of twinkies, let alone a couple bits of electronics. But the same folks will probably insist that this was totally different because it's stealing from somebody who's not them.


Just for that I'm going to sick my chihuahua on you while unleashing a few rounds from my rubber band gun in your general direction.
2012-11-26 12:00:01 PM
1 votes:

HindiDiscoMonster: Someone is getting sued for wrongful death... I'll give you a hint... it sounds like Ball Fart


Oh, man I thought I was in trouble there for a second. Don't do that to me.
2012-11-26 10:09:10 AM
1 votes:
This was the perfect opportunity for something like, "Shoplifter with 2 DVD players decides to check out instead."
2012-11-26 01:46:47 AM
1 votes:
Wal-Mart: If you think our customers are the dregs of humanity, you haven't met our employees yet.
2012-11-26 01:21:44 AM
1 votes:

fnordfocus: DownDaRiver: Do Wal-Mart employees get the same kind of pass that cops do when they kill someone?

Notice the employees are on "paid leave." That's remarkably generous for a store that holds training sessions to help their employees apply for food stamps. Definitely they're getting treated like LEOs.


Opps, my bad
Let my outrage befuddle my clarity
2012-11-26 12:58:22 AM
1 votes:
Those responsible for sacking the folks responsible for the sacking have been sacked.
2012-11-26 12:38:32 AM
1 votes:

PaLarkin: The fact remains if they guy hadn't tried to steal the dvd players, he wouldn't be dead right now. He brought it on himself. Nobody made him go in there and steal.


Do you realize what you're saying? You're blaming the victim in the same way saying a prostitute wouldn't have been choked to death if she weren't out there plying the trade. Both prostitution and shoplifting are crimes, but do they warrant death?

I will grant that we do not know if the employees were out of line or if it was an accident.

Nevertheless, the fact that you intimate that this is all his fault is pretty damn repugnant.
2012-11-26 12:37:19 AM
1 votes:
And of course he will have relatives. They always do.
2012-11-26 12:31:29 AM
1 votes:

PaLarkin: I'm sure somebody here will post something saying I'm a mean, cruel, heartless person because I don't feel sorry for the poor little thief.


You're not any of those things, you're just a pussy. But hey, you can be the one to put money on this guy's commissary while he sits in county for 5 years (on the taxpayers tit no less) because he killed someone who was shoplifting.
2012-11-26 12:29:07 AM
1 votes:

Asa Phelps: department. what the hell has happened when i can spell correctly but it's the wrong words?


Vodka
2012-11-26 12:27:05 AM
1 votes:

PaLarkin: Maybe the Walmart loss prevention people overreacted. Maybe they didn't. Did the guy try to fight the store employees or not? The article doesn't say. Let's assume for the moment the Walmart people overreacted. The fact remains if they guy hadn't tried to steal the dvd players, he wouldn't be dead right now. He brought it on himself. Nobody made him go in there and steal.


We don't know that he stole anything. Perhaps he did purchase them and they forgot to disable the tag at checkout so the alarm went off and he refused to be accosted by a pimple faced kid.
2012-11-26 12:24:38 AM
1 votes:
"No amount of merchandise is worth someone's life, a wrongful death lawsuit" Gee said in the statement,

/FTFTFA
2012-11-26 12:22:40 AM
1 votes:
If only there were some way to not steal DVD players from Walmart.

None of us are safe.
2012-11-26 12:17:50 AM
1 votes:
Killer deals on Black Friday.
Think I'll send the Ex next year.
2012-11-26 12:17:31 AM
1 votes:
"No amount of merchandise is worth someone's life,"

Especially not two DVD players. What are they these days, $20?
182
2012-11-26 12:15:48 AM
1 votes:

revrendjim: They steal your dvd players, you send one of theirs to the morgue. It's the Walmart way.


yeah, he deserved to die and I hope he burns in hell!
2012-11-26 12:13:34 AM
1 votes:

CreamFilling: ThatGuyFromTheInternet: This sounds like it'd inspire one of the inferior episodes of Law & Order. Where Lennie Briscoe quips, "Well, looks like checked out anyways" and the whole thing is an Aesop about corporate greed and cover-up.

Or an episode of SVU where they find out he was shoplifting them to entertain a fleet of teenage prostitutes, and at some point Ice T asks "What kind of sick bastard...?" The whole department is always surprised when it turns out to be some weird sex crime, even though presumably they're aware they work in SVU, where the crimes are promised to be particularly heinous.


Hopefully Ice-T would let us in on some hip street phrase that all too soon would become over-used in suburbia. Within a few months even the nerds on The Big Bang Theory are dropping it on air, and by then Ice-T is well on to a whole other groove.
2012-11-26 12:08:37 AM
1 votes:
Good, we need fewer Wal-Mart frequenters.
2012-11-25 09:50:57 PM
1 votes:
This sounds like it'd inspire one of the inferior episodes of Law & Order. Where Lennie Briscoe quips, "Well, looks like checked out anyways" and the whole thing is an Aesop about corporate greed and cover-up.
 
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