If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Daily Mail)   It's the late 1950s in America, and as you'd suspect, a young Carl Sagan is working on a secret government program aimed at detonating a nuclear weapon on the moon, fully visible from earth, in order to impress the Soviets   (dailymail.co.uk) divider line 42
    More: Strange, Carl Sagan, Soviet Union, U.S., America's Cold War, hydrogen bombs, atomic bombs, Larry Hagman, space race  
•       •       •

2823 clicks; posted to Geek » on 25 Nov 2012 at 4:24 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



42 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

Archived thread
 
2012-11-25 04:29:49 PM
Been done
wonkette.com
 
2012-11-25 04:33:23 PM
Swear I saw this years ago on Fark.
 
2012-11-25 04:33:44 PM
img.gawkerassets.com
 
das
2012-11-25 04:38:06 PM
Billions and billions of meteorites....
 
2012-11-25 04:39:19 PM
It would have been just our luck that nuke would be placed perfectly to fracture off a large piece of the Moon, which would then go screaming into Earth's atmosphere.
At least the Mayans didn't have nukes.
 
2012-11-25 04:40:59 PM
LUNARcy!
- PaulDavis, York UK, 25/11/2012 19:23


I hate Daily Mail commenters.... Paul Davis of York... You think it's clever to put "Lunar" into "Lunacy"? Didn't you stop to think that maybe the words are so similar because they share "Luna"? Didn't you learn even basic Latin at school? Did you not even study classics? Where were you educated? A farm? Jeez.
 
2012-11-25 04:41:06 PM
So... he was smoking pot a lot longer than we thought?
 
2012-11-25 04:43:15 PM
The year: 1954. From out of space comes a runaway planet, hurtling between the Earth and the Moon, unleashing cosmic destruction! Man's civilization is cast in ruin!
Two thousand years later, Earth is reborn...
A strange new world rises from the old: a world of savagery, super science, and sorcery. But one man bursts his bonds to fight for justice! With his companions Ookla the Mok and Princess Ariel, he pits his strength, his courage, and his fabulous Sunsword against the forces of evil.
He is Thundarr, the Barbarian!
 
2012-11-25 04:44:23 PM
Holy Christ, we're retarded.
 
2012-11-25 04:44:53 PM
img713.imageshack.us

Cuz you don't mess around...with God's America
 
2012-11-25 04:45:36 PM
img845.imageshack.us

"What, what's funny?"
"Oh, Gallileo just asked why. He said, 'Why are you blowing up the moon?'"
 
2012-11-25 04:46:40 PM
I'm so glad that the world today isn't crammed full of homicidal suicidal you've-got-to-be-kidding-me-but-I-know-you're-not sociopaths.

Aren't you?
 
2012-11-25 04:47:24 PM
shiat, looks like I was a couple seconds late with the Mr. Show reference.
 
2012-11-25 04:49:01 PM
4.bp.blogspot.com

Charl Sagan?
 
2012-11-25 04:51:25 PM
 
2012-11-25 05:02:53 PM
It's been done.

www.space1999.net

/Hot and dirty like the Queller Drive.
 
2012-11-25 05:04:10 PM

Slaxl: LUNARcy!
- PaulDavis, York UK, 25/11/2012 19:23

I hate Daily Mail commenters.... Paul Davis of York... You think it's clever to put "Lunar" into "Lunacy"? Didn't you stop to think that maybe the words are so similar because they share "Luna"? Didn't you learn even basic Latin at school? Did you not even study classics? Where were you educated? A farm? Jeez.


Settle down, Beavis.
 
2012-11-25 05:14:44 PM
Sort of like the plan to create a new harbor in Alaska by using nukes as construction equipment.

Link
 
2012-11-25 05:47:18 PM

GypsyJoker: Sort of like the plan to create a new harbor in Alaska by using nukes as construction equipment.

Link


Um, Holy Fark! 1958? I'm pretty sure they'd heard of radiation by then, hadn't they? And that it would be bad?
 
2012-11-25 05:54:30 PM
It's the late 1950s in America and , as you'd suspect, a young Carl Sagan is working on a secret government program aimed at detonating a nuclear weapon on the moon, fully visible from earth, in order to impress the Soviets
 
2012-11-25 05:58:32 PM
born_yesterday
Um, Holy Fark! 1958? I'm pretty sure they'd heard of radiation by then, hadn't they? And that it would be bad?

Edward Teller was the one proposing these kinds of projects (as well as auxiliary crap like SDI and nuclear superiority in general). I guess when you build hydrogen bombs, everything starts to look like a nail.
 
2012-11-25 06:03:41 PM
I am insanely jealous of the generation of engineers before mine. They had all the fun. Shooting off nukes in all kinds of ways, nuclear ramjets, NERVA, a vast variety of new and different aircraft and spacecraft programs, on and on. They had a wonderful future in mind. Undersea cities, trips to Mars, flying cars...Then the hippies and lawyers came and screwed it all up.
 
2012-11-25 06:42:03 PM
1959 was "the height of the space race"? More like the dawn...
 
2012-11-25 06:42:48 PM
i46.tinypic.com

A Realistic Plan for World Peace

a.k.a
Nuke the Moon
by Frank J. (originally written August 15th, 2002)

"Gotta nuke something."
-20th century philosopher Nelson Muntz

World peace cannot be achieved by sitting around on our duffs singing hippy songs to the moon. Peace can only be achieved through excessive acts of seemingly mindless violence. Who do bullies pick on in the playground? The giant, crazy looking guy who looks ready to snap and kill the person nearest or some harmless looking weenie who appears to do anything to avoid conflict? People pick on the weenie because people like to start fights they think they can win. In the same way, people will continue to attack America and our interests when they get the idea that they can piss off America without us immediately eradicating them and everyone around them in the most painful way possible.

Now, if I were president, here's what I would do. Next time some country does something we don't take a pining too, such as supporting terrorism or speaking French, I'd pick the dumbest reason for an attack, e.g., "A 'q' should always be followed by a 'u'. I don't make the rules, Iraq, but I will enforce them." The more irrational you look, the more scared the country will be that you will really hit them hard. I'd then give the country the old one-week notice until bombing starts. Then, after just twenty-four hours, I'd start bombing. When the stupid dictator calls to complain, I'd say, "I meant one week max. Oh, and by the way, ground troops - one week." I'm sure that would be enough to capitulate the average evildoer, but some extra measures could help intimidate others as well. Like, instead of just saturation bombing a city, super-saturation bomb it. After annihilating everything until nothing but ash is left, I'd nuke the ashes. It's that extra bit of extremely disproportionate use of force that makes other countries start to wonder if America "has it all together" and really worrying who we'll lash out against next.

Of course, Europe will start complaining, and Europe's bad mouthing of America gives comfort to our enemies. I mean, those guys values are so messed up they think calling someone a "cowboy" is an insult. Best idea would be to assassinate the leader of the first European country we hear a peep out of. This will probably make us look evil, though, when we want the image of crazy and violent. So, when the Europeans ask why, I'd claim to never have heard of the person: "I didn't even know France had a leader. Sure it wasn't suicide? Yeah, committing suicide with a sniper rifle would be hard, but not impossible if you had a five-hundred yard length of string to work the trigger." Assassination does seem a little extreme, but we're talking about Europe. I mean, what are they going to do other than quickly capitulate under a mild threat of force. We'll probably start seeing, "We all love America!" parades in bids to not be our next targets.

Now the world will be pretty convinced that America is frick'n nuts and just looking for a fight, but we need to really ingrain it into everyone's conscious so that no one will ever even contemplate crossing us. This requires making good use of our nukes. I know, nukes can kill millions of people, but they sure aren't doing anyone any good just sitting around. I mean, how many years has it been since we last dropped a bomb on someone? No one even thinks we'll actually use one now. Of course, using nukes shouldn't be done haphazardly; all uses have to be well planned out because the explosions are so cool looking that we'll want to give the press plenty of notice so they can get pictures of the mushroom cloud from all sorts of different angles. But what to nuke? Well, usually the idea is populated cities, but, by the beliefs of my morally superior religion, killing is wrong. So why can't we be more creative than nuking people. My idea is to nuke the moon; just say we thought we saw moon people or something. There is no one actually there to kill (unless we time it poorly) and everyone in the world could see the results. And all the other countries would exclaim, "Holy @$#%! They are nuking the moon! America has gone insane! I better go eat at McDonald's before they think I don't like them."

But why stop there. We've got like tons of national parks; we surely wouldn't miss just one if we nuked it. Our excuse will be that we heard a drug dealer was hiding there. Then the foreign nations would be like, "Sacre bleu! These Americans are nuking themselves! Surely they will think nothing of bombing us! Let's adapt their vapid culture as our own so they might consider us one of them."

Now all other countries will be completely freaked out and never even dream of messing with us. They'll say the name of America with hushed whispers and always praise us in public for fear of reprisal. We'd be like an Old Testament god to them; perhaps they would even start worshiping us - actually, we should make that a condition of favored trade status. Not only will we have ensured peace for ourselves, but we can also now easily end any conflict between other countries. We see two nations warring over some territory, all we'll have to do is say, "Hey, break it up," and they'll be racing to concede to each other rather than get on the bad side of the "crazy, homicidal Americans." And, if people are being oppressed by an evil government, all we'll have to do is say, "Hey you! Stop being communist!" and the next day they'll have elections, capitalism, and free-press to keep from having their country turned into a parking lot. It will be that easy to motivate our fellow man, because there is hardly anything people treasure more than not being annihilated.

Now all that's needed to keep peace is to come up with new and creative ways of looking insane and belligerent without actually harming anyone. Missile defense is probably a good step in that direction. Next time some country steps out of line, we launch a nuclear missile at them. Just seconds before it hits, we blow it up with our missile defense so that everyone there sees the huge explosion in the sky. Then the president would just call up their leader and say, "Hey, we lost sight of our SDI test. Did you see if it worked?"

By now, you're probably saying, "Great idea. But how to do we pay for all these random acts of violence?" Just create an "Other Country Tax", a tax for being a country other than the U.S. After implementing my plan, all the countries will be eager to pay the money, and probably add a nice tip to win favor.

So there you have it, a real peace plan that could actually work. Warmongering pacifists want us to act all nice such that countries think we're rational and won't kill everyone with a blind fury, thus making it possible they might actually attack us and draw us into a war. But, if America follows my idea and lashes out at the slightest provocation with unmeasured vengeance, there can be peace. So there's the choice: either be a homicidal maniac thus ensuring peace and love in the world, or be some pacifist hippy while the streets flow with the blood of the innocent. 


tldr: http://www.imao.us/docs/NukeTheMoon.htm
 
2012-11-25 06:47:38 PM
images1.wikia.nocookie.net
 
2012-11-25 07:02:23 PM

MaudlinMutantMollusk: So... he was smoking pot a lot longer than we thought?



You think he wasn't smoking pot as a grad student?
 
2012-11-25 07:22:00 PM

Practical_Draconian: Swear I saw this years ago on Fark.


This is where I originally saw it
 
2012-11-25 07:22:59 PM
sorry, here's the link

http://www.cracked.com/article/153_nuke-moon-5-certifiably-insane-col d -war-projects/
 
2012-11-25 07:46:32 PM
No mention of Alexander Abian yet?

ABIAN MASS-TIME EQUIVALENCE FORMULA m = Mo(1-exp(T/(kT-Mo))) Abian units.
ALTER EARTH'S ORBIT AND TILT - STOP GLOBAL DISASTERS AND EPIDEMICS.
ALTER THE SOLAR SYSTEM. REORBIT VENUS INTO A NEAR EARTH-LIKE ORBIT
TO CREATE A BORN AGAIN EARTH (1990)
 
2012-11-25 07:49:49 PM

Snapper Carr: Cuz you don't mess around...with God's America


Came for the Mr. Show reference. leaving satisfied.

We're earthlings! Let's blow up earth things!
 
2012-11-25 08:12:07 PM
I suddenly have a hankering for some mayostard mustardayonnaise.
 
2012-11-25 09:04:12 PM

falkone32: born_yesterday
Um, Holy Fark! 1958? I'm pretty sure they'd heard of radiation by then, hadn't they? And that it would be bad?

Edward Teller was the one proposing these kinds of projects (as well as auxiliary crap like SDI and nuclear superiority in general). I guess when you build hydrogen bombs, everything starts to look like a nail.


There's that, and there's also the fact that the plan called for fairly deep-underground detonations of successively smaller sizes- it's unlikely there'd be harmful radiation levels on the surface, but that still says nothing of the ecological (and possibly geological) impacts.
 
2012-11-25 09:05:47 PM
How about we use a giant laser to draw the president's face on the moon?
 
2012-11-25 10:22:44 PM

grinding_journalist: falkone32: born_yesterday
Um, Holy Fark! 1958? I'm pretty sure they'd heard of radiation by then, hadn't they? And that it would be bad?

Edward Teller was the one proposing these kinds of projects (as well as auxiliary crap like SDI and nuclear superiority in general). I guess when you build hydrogen bombs, everything starts to look like a nail.

There's that, and there's also the fact that the plan called for fairly deep-underground detonations of successively smaller sizes- it's unlikely there'd be harmful radiation levels on the surface, but that still says nothing of the ecological (and possibly geological) impacts.


It was the plowshares program... they were trying to find peacetime uses for the bombs.. Can you blame them? you have THIS much power at your disposal, gotta find something useful to do with it.. they were blowing up salt deposits because Salt retains heat for a very long time and they were hoping to pump the cavities full of water to turn into steam to run power turbines. fracting for natural gas etc, etc.

unfortunately, or, fortunately, depending on how you look at it, what they ultimately discovered was that the bombs were only really useful for blowing shiat up real good.

check out the Documentary Nuclear Journeys, its part of trinity and beyond series.
 
2012-11-25 11:53:54 PM
If Sagan was involved with this, what turned him from the Dark Side?
 
2012-11-26 01:32:36 AM

teto85: If Sagan was involved with this, what turned him from the Dark Side?


during that time Nuclear science wasn't the "dark side" it was the next great thing and where all the research money was being directed.. Dude was a grad student making his way in the world.
ya gotta keep in mind that the entire space race thing was about who could develop a functional and reliable intercontinental ballistic missle first. it was all about showing power. be it military might, scientific prowess, engineering skillz.
this was the environment that Sagan came into out of school... he was a wunderkind and he was needed for the effort.
it wasn't really a matter of being on the side of good and evil... he was a number crunching kid, working a job.

now.. a little later on... when it was pretty much realized that the bombs had no real world peace time applications, he drew away dropped a bunch of acid, smoked a bunch of weed, had his mind BLOWN by the universe and became our space centric philosophical geek overlord.
 
2012-11-26 03:58:44 AM
Now all that's needed to keep peace is to come up with new and creative ways of looking insane and belligerent without actually harming anyone. Missile defense is probably a good step in that direction. Next time some country steps out of line, we launch a nuclear missile at them. Just seconds before it hits, we blow it up with our missile defense so that everyone there sees the huge explosion in the sky. Then the president would just call up their leader and say...

"Hey, we lost sight of our SDI test. Did you see if it worked?"



straightfromthea.com


I kinda dig this.
 
2012-11-26 04:05:09 AM
Or better yet, Ronnie.

I just wanted to put BamBam in there for lulz.
 
2012-11-26 08:01:44 AM
Having no Moon would be disastrous for the Earth. We depend on the ebb and flow of the tides for great fishing here in Florida. That and what would the owls hoot at and the coyotes howl at?
 
2012-11-26 10:57:23 AM

Cerebral Knievel: teto85: If Sagan was involved with this, what turned him from the Dark Side?

during that time Nuclear science wasn't the "dark side" it was the next great thing and where all the research money was being directed.. Dude was a grad student making his way in the world.
ya gotta keep in mind that the entire space race thing was about who could develop a functional and reliable intercontinental ballistic missle first. it was all about showing power. be it military might, scientific prowess, engineering skillz.
this was the environment that Sagan came into out of school... he was a wunderkind and he was needed for the effort.
it wasn't really a matter of being on the side of good and evil... he was a number crunching kid, working a job.

now.. a little later on... when it was pretty much realized that the bombs had no real world peace time applications, he drew away dropped a bunch of acid, smoked a bunch of weed, had his mind BLOWN by the universe and became our space centric philosophical geek overlord.


He also developed a real dislike of Edward Teller along the way.

According to Keay Davidson's Sagan biography, Sagan's thesis adviser had led him to Project A119 (the one in TFA). Back then, if you wanted to get involved in the space program, you pretty much had to work with its military applications, as the space program was originally an extension of the military. Sagan was nudged in that direction and enjoyed the work, because it was tangentially related to some of the work he was doing on planetary atmospheres. He didn't become a hardcore leftist/pacifist until Vietnam, in any case.
 
2012-11-26 12:18:53 PM

Cerebral Knievel: check out the Documentary Nuclear Journeys, its part of trinity and beyond series.


Squeeeeee! A Trinity doc I haven't seen? Huzzah. Is it narrated by Shatner as well? I liked Rainbow Bombs, and Broken Arrows- thought there were only 3.
 
2012-11-26 08:38:34 PM
This is why it's fun to read about the Cold War, one insane project after another.

One Rand thinker proposed putting thousands of rocket engines bolted to the ground across the US. Yep, to move the USA out from under incoming missiles.
He asked a scientist to look at his work, and after a minute he said "Not enough rockets."

Pluto, Orion, the Dead Hand, giant ekranoplans, I love the stuff.
 
Displayed 42 of 42 comments

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »






Report