If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Some Guy)   10 perfectly legitimate reasons why you have an open bottle of bourbon   (thekitchn.com) divider line 94
    More: Spiffy, open bottle  
•       •       •

15278 clicks; posted to Main » on 25 Nov 2012 at 1:14 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



94 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

Archived thread

First | « | 1 | 2 | » | Last | Show all
 
2012-11-25 12:31:26 PM  
You haven't finished it yet?
 
2012-11-25 01:18:50 PM  
Yeah, but it's not like you're gonna de-glaze some mushrooms out on the corner.
 
2012-11-25 01:18:55 PM  
I'm cooking a country ham?
 
2012-11-25 01:19:04 PM  
'I like bourbon' apparently isn't a legitimate reason?
 
2012-11-25 01:20:22 PM  
11 -- cause my glasses and ice get lonely.
12 -- cause I like bourbon
13 -- unopened bottles of bourbon make me sad
 
2012-11-25 01:22:59 PM  
Bring on a Pitcher

2.bp.blogspot.com
 
2012-11-25 01:23:06 PM  
Because you're out of scotch?
 
2012-11-25 01:23:45 PM  
i rarely find i need more than 1:
because im drinking it
 
2012-11-25 01:25:20 PM  
I only need two reasons:

1) Because the sun came up.
2) Because the sun went down.
 
2012-11-25 01:26:21 PM  

Biff Spiffy: 'I like bourbon' apparently isn't a legitimate reason?


Followed closely by "I'm thirsty".
 
2012-11-25 01:26:47 PM  
Because I can.
 
2012-11-25 01:27:13 PM  
Because it's good with with fresh snow?

/mmm bourbon slushy.
 
2012-11-25 01:29:03 PM  

pounddawg:
13 -- unopened bottles of bourbon make me sad


I have a couple unopened bottles of Booker's that I picked up for half off at a liquor store closing sale. It's by far my favorite bourbon, but nine times out of ten I end up reaching for a bottle of Ezra Brooks or Evan Williams when I'm making a drink, figuring I'm saving the good stuff for a special occasion.
 
2012-11-25 01:29:33 PM  
how about illegitimate causes?
 
2012-11-25 01:30:10 PM  

TofuTheAlmighty: Because you're out of scotch?


Scotch: Whiskey for people who don't like whiskey.
 
2012-11-25 01:30:27 PM  

HowiPepper: I only need two reasons:

1) Because the sun came up.
2) Because the sun went down.


3) the false dawn tricked you into thinking the sun came up but #2 still applies
 
2012-11-25 01:32:10 PM  
Bourbon is disgusting.
 
2012-11-25 01:34:18 PM  

sigdiamond2000: Scotch: Whiskey for people who don't like whiskey.


I bet you like your ribeyes well done with ketchup, too.
 
2012-11-25 01:34:26 PM  

TuteTibiImperes: pounddawg:
13 -- unopened bottles of bourbon make me sad

I have a couple unopened bottles of Booker's that I picked up for half off at a liquor store closing sale. It's by far my favorite bourbon, but nine times out of ten I end up reaching for a bottle of Ezra Brooks or Evan Williams when I'm making a drink, figuring I'm saving the good stuff for a special occasion.


I see a bottle of Woodford reserve in my future.
 
2012-11-25 01:36:39 PM  

TuteTibiImperes: liquor store closing sale


How the hell do you lose money running a liquor store to the point it has to close?
 
2012-11-25 01:37:50 PM  

TofuTheAlmighty: sigdiamond2000: Scotch: Whiskey for people who don't like whiskey.

I bet you like your ribeyes well done with ketchup, too.


I've found I prefer bourbon to the taste of peat.
 
2012-11-25 01:40:15 PM  
... but I swear to god I don't have a problem.
 
2012-11-25 01:40:36 PM  

TofuTheAlmighty: sigdiamond2000: Scotch: Whiskey for people who don't like whiskey.

I bet you like your ribeyes well done with ketchup, too.


I've never tasted a bad bourbon. I've had a lot of sh*t scotch.
 
2012-11-25 01:41:02 PM  

foo monkey: Bourbon is disgusting.


More for me yay!
 
2012-11-25 01:41:59 PM  
Why would you want to ruin good bourbon by anything other than ice in it?
 
2012-11-25 01:43:23 PM  

BGates: Why would you want to ruin good bourbon by putting anything other than ice in it?


The bottle won't last long at this rate.
 
2012-11-25 01:43:40 PM  

BGates: Why would you want to ruin good bourbon by anything other than ice in it?


The same reason everyone should add mountain dew to scotch. It enhances the flavor. Nothing like a red bull and ten high to start off the morning
 
2012-11-25 01:44:09 PM  

sigdiamond2000: TofuTheAlmighty: sigdiamond2000: Scotch: Whiskey for people who don't like whiskey.

I bet you like your ribeyes well done with ketchup, too.

I've never tasted a bad bourbon. I've had a lot of sh*t scotch.


Tofu called it cold.

Back on topic:
Because it's bourbon.
 
2012-11-25 01:45:37 PM  

BGates: Why would you want to ruin good bourbon by anything other than ice in it?


Vulgarian.
"Neat" and "branch water" are the only acceptable answers.
 
2012-11-25 01:47:28 PM  

Anderson's Pooper: TuteTibiImperes: liquor store closing sale

How the hell do you lose money running a liquor store to the point it has to close?


No clue. It was in FL as well, known to be populated with folks who aren't afraid of a drink. The owner also had a real estate business, I think he wanted to concentrate more on that. I made out like a bandit on the closing sale though - Booker's, Baker's, Laphroaig 10 year, Oban 14 year, Macallan Sherry Oak, and some assorted cheap mixer stuff.
 
2012-11-25 01:48:42 PM  

sigdiamond2000: TofuTheAlmighty: Because you're out of scotch?

Scotch: Whiskey Whisky for people who don't like whiskey.


See also, T-Bone: Steak for people who don't like rump roast.
 
2012-11-25 01:52:15 PM  

demaL-demaL-yeH: BGates: Why would you want to ruin good bourbon by anything other than ice in it?

Vulgarian.
"Neat" and "branch water" are the only acceptable answers.


Never liked blended whisk(e)y's without one ice cube.
 
2012-11-25 01:54:40 PM  

Uchiha_Cycliste: ... but I swear to god I don't have a problem.


I have a problem. The bottle's almost empty.
 
2012-11-25 01:56:01 PM  

sigdiamond2000: TofuTheAlmighty: sigdiamond2000: Scotch: Whiskey for people who don't like whiskey.

I bet you like your ribeyes well done with ketchup, too.

I've never tasted a bad bourbon. I've had a lot of sh*t scotch.


That might be because you buy decent bourbons and shiat scotches. Lay off the Clan MacGregor.
 
2012-11-25 01:57:57 PM  
I'm too drunk to care what I'm drinking?

A lifetime of alcoholism has burned off my taste buds?

My cousin doesn't look quite attractive enough yet?

Just kidding, Kentuckians. Hell, two of those things apply to me right now. (My cousin is plenty hot already. Yyyyyowza.)
 
2012-11-25 01:59:27 PM  
Drat, now I'm jonesing for the good stuff

/ABC stores here, can't get after-hours liquor
 
2012-11-25 02:02:12 PM  
MMmmmm, bourbon infused ice.
 
2012-11-25 02:02:22 PM  

BGates: Why would you want to ruin good bourbon by anything other than ice in it?


Why would you want to ruin a good bourbon by killing the taste with ice? Drink it neat man, like God intended!
 
2012-11-25 02:02:41 PM  
1. Monday
2. Tuesday
3. Wednesday
4. Thursday
5. Friday
6. Saturday
7. Sunday
8. The wife is on my a$$ again
9. The wife isn't on my a$$ for once
10. They changed the damn TPS cover sheets again.
 
2012-11-25 02:03:31 PM  
Granddad would visit at the holidays and he always brought a bottle of bourbon. I loved that man.
 
2012-11-25 02:04:39 PM  

demaL-demaL-yeH: BGates: Why would you want to ruin good bourbon by anything other than ice in it?

Vulgarian.
"Neat" and "branch water" are the only acceptable answers.


Agreed. 20 year old Pappy don't mix.
 
2012-11-25 02:04:47 PM  

demaL-demaL-yeH: BGates: Why would you want to ruin good bourbon by anything other than ice in it?

Vulgarian.
"Neat" and "branch water" are the only acceptable answers.


I drink my bourbon and Scotch neat, with the exception of my cask strength The Macallan, which I occasionally dribble a little room temperature spring water into. Anything other than that is a waste of good whisk(e)y!
 
2012-11-25 02:05:36 PM  
11. Server's down

i291.photobucket.com
 
2012-11-25 02:28:18 PM  

HowiPepper: BGates: Why would you want to ruin good bourbon by anything other than ice in it?

Why would you want to ruin a good bourbon by killing the taste with ice? Drink it neat man, like God intended!


Much like other blended whisk(e)y's, I like one ice cube.
 
2012-11-25 02:34:19 PM  

Evil Mackerel: TuteTibiImperes: pounddawg:
13 -- unopened bottles of bourbon make me sad

I have a couple unopened bottles of Booker's that I picked up for half off at a liquor store closing sale. It's by far my favorite bourbon, but nine times out of ten I end up reaching for a bottle of Ezra Brooks or Evan Williams when I'm making a drink, figuring I'm saving the good stuff for a special occasion.

I see a bottle of Woodford reserve in my future.


Great stuff. Evan W. for most days, WR for the rare special days. Birthday, 4th of July, etc.
 
2012-11-25 02:42:08 PM  
I like how everyone thinks the way they drink their whiskey is the best way

neat, on the rocks or anyway you chose to drink it, Whiskey is awesome
 
2012-11-25 02:43:37 PM  

foo monkey: Bourbon is disgusting.


You shut your whore mouth.
 
2012-11-25 02:53:10 PM  

whatisaidwas: foo monkey: Bourbon is disgusting.

You shut your whore mouth.


No, scotch is disgusting. Bourbon is nectar.
 
2012-11-25 02:56:08 PM  

foo monkey: Bourbon is disgusting.


That's because you keep shooting it like you're swallowing your boyfriend's load. Bourbon is meant to be enjoyed over time, like your mom.
 
2012-11-25 02:56:16 PM  

simplicimus: whatisaidwas: foo monkey: Bourbon is disgusting.

You shut your whore mouth.

No, scotch is disgusting. Bourbon is nectar.


Welcome to whore-mouth troll gray three.

/Bourbon is nectar. Otherwise ...
 
Displayed 50 of 94 comments

First | « | 1 | 2 | » | Last | Show all

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »
On Twitter





In Other Media


  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.

Report