If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Salon)   22-32-37-44-50 and 34. Winner step forward and claim your 6.5 million years of TotalFark   (salon.com) divider line 79
    More: PSA, Powerball  
•       •       •

8706 clicks; posted to Main » on 25 Nov 2012 at 6:40 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



79 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

Archived thread

First | « | 1 | 2 | » | Last | Show all
 
2012-11-25 12:17:35 AM
nein? just give 'em away cuz drew works for free -- dumbass
 
2012-11-25 06:46:48 AM

urban.derelict: drew works


lol
 
2012-11-25 06:48:21 AM
No winner try again
 
2012-11-25 06:51:32 AM
PB web site says no winner... Next time will be $425M
 
2012-11-25 06:54:59 AM
with that money you could fire 1 million cab drivers.
 
2012-11-25 07:06:38 AM
*Watching a PBS Frontline 2 show about children living in poverty*
 
2012-11-25 07:17:22 AM

Coelacanth: *Watching a PBS Frontline 2 show about children living in poverty*


Screw Them! If I win I'm blowing it on hookers and blow. I swear to god, my witch of an ex-wife and kids won't see a dime! I'll have it blown before the courts can stop me! Back child support be damned, the monies mine, ALL MINE!

/not divorced
//10% to charity, 10% to family, 10% to spend, and 70% invested to live off of for life.
 
2012-11-25 07:30:30 AM
I might have to throw in 5 bucks for next time.
 
2012-11-25 07:32:29 AM
My 8 year old just asked, "if we win the Powerball, could you get Psy to perform at our house?"

There's only one reasonable answer to that question.
 
2012-11-25 07:33:36 AM
Est. Jackpot $425,000,000
Est. Cash $278,300,000

I may have to buy me a $6 ticket
 
2012-11-25 07:49:06 AM

jack21221: I might have to throw in 5 bucks for next time.


Two and a half tickets?
 
2012-11-25 07:50:09 AM
Hey, those are my measurements!
 
2012-11-25 07:52:46 AM
Let's wait and see what Farker is suddenly against raising taxes on the 1%...
 
2012-11-25 07:59:40 AM

vegasj: Est. Jackpot $425,000,000
Est. Cash $278,300,000

I may have to buy me a $6 ticket


Minus Federal taxes of 35% $180,895,000. (that's assuming you can get the check before taxes go up in 2013)

Minus your state taxes (0%-11%)

Does any one know if your taxed on the pre-federal amount, or after the feds get there cut?
 
2012-11-25 08:12:28 AM
I bought 1 ticket for this on my bi-annual paying of the idiot tax... and got the powerball. I'm letting it all ride on the next drawing! early retirement, here I come!
 
2012-11-25 08:15:09 AM

IMDWalrus: jack21221: I might have to throw in 5 bucks for next time.

Two and a half tickets?


Six bucks then. This just goes to show how often I play. :-p
 
2012-11-25 08:22:36 AM

BigBooper: vegasj: Est. Jackpot $425,000,000
Est. Cash $278,300,000

I may have to buy me a $6 ticket

Minus Federal taxes of 35% $180,895,000. (that's assuming you can get the check before taxes go up in 2013)

Minus your state taxes (0%-11%)

Does any one know if your taxed on the pre-federal amount, or after the feds get there cut?


Taxes are a good thing. They pay for schools and the grammar police.
 
2012-11-25 08:23:03 AM

T-Boy: My 8 year old just asked, "if we win the Powerball, could you get Psy to perform at our house?"

There's only one reasonable answer to that question.


Yes dear, he will perform seppuku.
 
2012-11-25 08:24:52 AM
I WON $4!!!! I'm a WINNER!
 
2012-11-25 08:26:12 AM

BigBooper: Does any one know if your taxed on the pre-federal amount, or after the feds get there cut?


It was my understanding that it's income tax. You don't normally pay state income tax on the remainder after you've calculated the fed portion, do you?
 
2012-11-25 08:27:51 AM
Those are the numbers an idiot would use for his luggage!

/or the sizes on a really scary looking hooker
//or the hooker's luggage?
 
2012-11-25 08:32:02 AM

starsrift: Let's wait and see what Farker is suddenly against raising taxes on the 1%...


As long as that person claimed the prize before the end of the year, it wouldn't matter much, except for taxes on interest.
 
2012-11-25 08:33:05 AM

Coelacanth: *Watching a PBS Frontline 2 show about children living in poverty*


They should have bought a lottery ticket.
 
2012-11-25 08:43:03 AM

T-Boy: There's only one reasonable answer to that question.


"Kid, if we win, he can stay in a cupboard in your bedroom."?
 
2012-11-25 08:44:59 AM
Would anyone else take the annuity? People have given me the stink eye for saying I wouldn't take the lump sum.
I have shown poor less than stellar ability managing tens of thousands - why would I trust myself with hundreds of millions?
Thirty years of guaranteed income sounds awfully nice. I could go crazy for a year or two and still have timee to fix it.
What do you think?
 
2012-11-25 08:46:55 AM

FuLinHyu: T-Boy: My 8 year old just asked, "if we win the Powerball, could you get Psy to perform at our house?"

There's only one reasonable answer to that question.

Yes dear, he will perform seppuku.


I think it called differently in Korea,, surely they dont use a jap term
 
2012-11-25 08:48:57 AM

sixfoot: Would anyone else take the annuity? People have given me the stink eye for saying I wouldn't take the lump sum.
I have shown poor less than stellar ability managing tens of thousands - why would I trust myself with hundreds of millions?
Thirty years of guaranteed income sounds awfully nice. I could go crazy for a year or two and still have timee to fix it.
What do you think?


You could pay someone to handle your money for you. It would probably cost less than the increased taxes that will likely persist over the next 30 years for that bracket.
 
2012-11-25 08:50:23 AM

sixfoot: Would anyone else take the annuity? People have given me the stink eye for saying I wouldn't take the lump sum.
I have shown poor less than stellar ability managing tens of thousands - why would I trust myself with hundreds of millions?
Thirty years of guaranteed income sounds awfully nice. I could go crazy for a year or two and still have timee to fix it.
What do you think?


I'm with you on that. It wouldn't take long for the payments to go faster than your ability to spend, and its a lot better to keep some away so it's harder to blow it all.
 
2012-11-25 08:56:07 AM
sixfoot: Would anyone else take the annuity? People have given me the stink eye for saying I wouldn't take the lump sum.
I have shown poor less than stellar ability managing tens of thousands - why would I trust myself with hundreds of millions?
Thirty years of guaranteed income sounds awfully nice. I could go crazy for a year or two and still have timee to fix it.
What do you think?


Well statistically if you invested your money in ANYTHING it would double in less than 30 years. Hell even if you bought Savings bonds with them it would double in less than 30, also our current tax rates are lower than they have been for most of the time that there have been income taxes, so tax rates are prone to go up in the next 30 years. Also the annuity is non transferable, so if you die in a hookers and blow overdose incident your next of kin don't get the rest of your annuity.

But that being said the big advantage to annuity is you get a check every year for the next like 30 years, so you have 30 years to get used to handling having a bunch of money before its sink or swim time, if you get the lump that sink or swim time is immediately
 
2012-11-25 08:58:06 AM
IANAL... Or an accountant... But if you take the cash option, couldn't you call it capital gains?

It's a one time pay out, on a small investment.

15% (if you can claim it this year, 25% if not)..

Est. Jackpot $425,000,000
Est. Cash $278,300,000
Est after CG Tax: $236,555,000 (or $208,725,000)



/Buying a few quick picks
//Won't win anyway.
///Ultrafark for everyone if I do.
 
2012-11-25 08:59:27 AM
I'd change it all into quarters and throw them into the corners of my apartment, so I'd have to dig out the change to buy anything. I think it would slow me down so I didn't spend all of it in the first week.
 
2012-11-25 09:00:35 AM

ghoti_nap: IANAL... Or an accountant... But if you take the cash option, couldn't you call it capital gains?

It's a one time pay out, on a small investment.


If you can find an account who can persuade the IRS to agree, you might even be able to afford him.
 
2012-11-25 09:01:23 AM

starsrift: ghoti_nap: IANAL... Or an accountant... But if you take the cash option, couldn't you call it capital gains?

It's a one time pay out, on a small investment.

If you can find an accountant who can persuade the IRS to agree, you might even be able to afford him.


I really need to use preview.
 
2012-11-25 09:01:59 AM
Billy Bathsalt: I'd change it all into quarters and throw them into the corners of my apartment, so I'd have to dig out the change to buy anything. I think it would slow me down so I didn't spend all of it in the first week.

I think I'd get it all in $2 bills than go on a tour of every Taco Bell in the country to see how many Fark headlines I got
 
2012-11-25 09:09:45 AM

ghoti_nap: IANAL... Or an accountant... But if you take the cash option, couldn't you call it capital gains?

It's a one time pay out, on a small investment.

15% (if you can claim it this year, 25% if not)..

Est. Jackpot $425,000,000
Est. Cash $278,300,000
Est after CG Tax: $236,555,000 (or $208,725,000)



/Buying a few quick picks
//Won't win anyway.
///Ultrafark for everyone if I do.


Pretty sure lotto winnings specifically fall under "gambling profit" (or whatever the term is), which is considered regular income. Your best bet is to live in a state with no income tax.
 
2012-11-25 09:15:26 AM
I had 01 16 22 32 44 PB 20. I WON $7.00. I am Farking Retiring!!
 
2012-11-25 09:25:42 AM

hawcian: Pretty sure lotto winnings specifically fall under "gambling profit" (or whatever the term is), which is considered regular income. Your best bet is to live in a state with no income tax.


Step 1) Buy winning ticket, move to Florida
Step 2) Claim ticket
Step 3) Profit!
 
2012-11-25 09:27:41 AM

MyNameWasPicked: I had 01 16 22 32 44 PB 20. I WON $7.00. I am Farking Retiring!!


Can I borrow $6? My "baby needs an operation."
 
2012-11-25 09:28:05 AM

hawcian: ghoti_nap: IANAL... Or an accountant... But if you take the cash option, couldn't you call it capital gains?

It's a one time pay out, on a small investment.

15% (if you can claim it this year, 25% if not)..

Est. Jackpot $425,000,000
Est. Cash $278,300,000
Est after CG Tax: $236,555,000 (or $208,725,000)



/Buying a few quick picks
//Won't win anyway.
///Ultrafark for everyone if I do.

Pretty sure lotto winnings specifically fall under "gambling profit" (or whatever the term is), which is considered regular income. Your best bet is to live in a state with no income tax.


So move to Florida before turning in the winning ticket?
 
2012-11-25 09:30:59 AM

dstanley: hawcian: ghoti_nap: IANAL... Or an accountant... But if you take the cash option, couldn't you call it capital gains?

It's a one time pay out, on a small investment.

15% (if you can claim it this year, 25% if not)..

Est. Jackpot $425,000,000
Est. Cash $278,300,000
Est after CG Tax: $236,555,000 (or $208,725,000)



/Buying a few quick picks
//Won't win anyway.
///Ultrafark for everyone if I do.

Pretty sure lotto winnings specifically fall under "gambling profit" (or whatever the term is), which is considered regular income. Your best bet is to live in a state with no income tax.

So move to Florida before turning in the winning ticket?


You pay state tax based on the higher of where the ticket was bought and where you reside. So moving isn't going to help much.
 
2012-11-25 09:36:24 AM
dstanley: hawcian: ghoti_nap: IANAL... Or an accountant... But if you take the cash option, couldn't you call it capital gains?

It's a one time pay out, on a small investment.

15% (if you can claim it this year, 25% if not)..

Est. Jackpot $425,000,000
Est. Cash $278,300,000
Est after CG Tax: $236,555,000 (or $208,725,000)



/Buying a few quick picks
//Won't win anyway.
///Ultrafark for everyone if I do.

Pretty sure lotto winnings specifically fall under "gambling profit" (or whatever the term is), which is considered regular income. Your best bet is to live in a state with no income tax.

So move to Florida before turning in the winning ticket?


If you bought your winning ticket in a state with state income tax you are gonna have to pay it even if you reside in a state without it.
 
2012-11-25 09:41:02 AM
dstanley:

So move to Florida before turning in the winning ticket?


Well FL isn't your ONLY option in no state income tax states, there is also TN, TX, NV, AK, I'm like 99% sure NH(if NH isn't than VT is because 1 of those 2 is) WY, and I think last I had heard WA
 
2012-11-25 09:49:36 AM
To everyone saying move to Flori-duh...

Unfortunately.. (Fortunately??) I already live here...
 
2012-11-25 09:55:13 AM
I have a question for the Farkers...

a) Lump sum payout.
b) 20 annual payments.
c) 1/1000th of the jackpot sent backwards in time N years.
(Where N = your age divided by 2.)
??????
 
2012-11-25 10:15:10 AM

sixfoot: Would anyone else take the annuity? People have given me the stink eye for saying I wouldn't take the lump sum.
I have shown poor less than stellar ability managing tens of thousands - why would I trust myself with hundreds of millions?
Thirty years of guaranteed income sounds awfully nice. I could go crazy for a year or two and still have timee to fix it.
What do you think?


After seeing that guy who won the Powerball in West Virginia blow all of the money he earned as well as all the bad luck and misfortune that seemed to follow him afterwards, I'm in agreement with you there.
 
2012-11-25 10:21:04 AM

Mrtraveler01: After seeing that guy who won the Powerball in West Virginia blow all of the money he earned as well as all the bad luck and misfortune that seemed to follow him afterwards, I'm in agreement with you there.


The West Virginia winner was way more than bad luck and misfortune. It was idiocy. If you're in the habit of taking suitcases full of tens of thousands of dollars into strip clubs, you're an idiot. If you do it a second time after getting ripped off, you deserve to lose it.
 
2012-11-25 10:44:41 AM
22-32-37-44-50? Only if she's 5'3".
 
2012-11-25 10:59:46 AM
There is no such thing as bad luck from winning the lotto. Either you are good with your money and smart with your life or you are not. Sometimes bad things will happen to you, but that will happen if you win the lotto or not.
 
2012-11-25 11:21:29 AM
If I win you farkers will never see me again!
www.burgerboat.com

/Fed tax on winnings from gambling is 25% + state tax.
//In Powerball FAQ
 
2012-11-25 11:23:51 AM

AbiNormal: /Fed tax on winnings from gambling is 25% + state tax.
//In Powerball FAQ



That's how much the state lottery commission will withhold. Actual federal tax will be about 35%. So don't spend it all in the first year without setting aside the extra to cover the extra 10%.
 
Displayed 50 of 79 comments

First | « | 1 | 2 | » | Last | Show all

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »






Report