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(Examiner)   Woman who slipped into a diabetic comma dies after 42 years, but her family never game up home. Damn you, autocorrect and pseudojournalists who can't type   (examiner.com ) divider line
    More: Sad, Edwarda O'Bara, Colleen O'Bara, Edwarda, feeding tube  
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13473 clicks; posted to Main » on 24 Nov 2012 at 4:56 PM (3 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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Archived thread
2012-11-24 07:43:09 PM  
2 votes:

scotchcrotch: AdolfOliverPanties: This chick was actually very famous. Her mother refused to leave her bedside for more than an hour or two ever, and turned her every two hours. She was supposedly highly regarded by the Catholic church as having a healing touch or some such nonsense.

Her mother said she had a visit from the Blessed Virgin one night, who told her that her daughter was a "Victim Soul" and chose her specific path in life to show others the power of faith or something. Apparently "Victim Soul" is/was a closely guarded secret phenomenon the Catholic church didn't ever really talk about, so when the Mom told a priest she had seen Mother Mary and had been told about the "Victim Soul," the priest freaked out. The mom died about ten years ago, if memory serves.

I think the daughter was on one of those "Unexplained Mysteries" type shows a couple decades ago.

I knew martyrdom was involved in this story somewhere.


It's not a closely guarded secret. I was raised Catholic, that concept was common and still is common among my older relatives. It was used to explain essentially why bad things happen to good people, and how holy it is to keep your suffering secret (or not complain) and offer it up essentially. One of the kids who allegedly saw the Virgin Mary (forget her name but remember the stupid story) became a nun and was forbidden to talk about her experiences by the Church (various theories there btw were espoused but the church always encouraged the 'she said spoooky shiat only the pope could knooooow!). Anyway her Superior hated her and gave her tons of shiat work to do. Apparently the woman was in a lot of pain due to a medical problem and never complained. Only discovered as she was dying. And she was honored more for that than her visions.

It makes a sick sort of sense if you can break out of the bullshiat. If a believer believes, and they believe god is all powerful and all knowing and completely good...and good people suffer...there HAS to be a positive reason for that suffering, otherwise ...how can you believe those things about your god? So one convoluted reason is that suffering is holy, if you suffer in silence and prayer and are a shining example.

It gives meaning to something that really has no meaning. Does it make it easier to bear? My opinion from watching my relatives (who are VERY devout Irish Catholics) is that it does help with the minor stuff. It also helps when caring for older relatives (such as those with dementia). And it hasn't helped them with the big serious things. I mean they still believe, but it offers much less comfort for serious illness and pain at the time. Later it seems helpful for them in processing the experience. And it makes it easier for relatives seeing them go through painful things, to believe there's some greater purpose there.

Just as an aside. I was devoted to my Grandfather. He had dementia in later life, and I lobbied continually because I knew end of life was going to be an issue. My mother (the most liberal Catholic of the siblings) was given medical power of attorney. When the time came, they withdrew support (food/water) and he was made comfortable with lots of morphine. I've no evidence but opinion but I believe that my campaigning for years on the issue made a huge difference. They were all able to let go, and make the right choice. It also helped that his father (my great grandfather) lived to be 104 because his children wouldn't let go. He wasn't on life support, but they intervened at times they shouldn't have. When he got pneumonia and the medical staff urged them to let him go (just make them comfy, let nature take it's course)...they consulted a priest. He told them absolutely not, that was MURDER, and a lot of other shiatty things. So I think it helped them to see that and the futility and cruelty of that.

FWIW, Even though letting my grandfather go was the right decision and the best decision, it was still farking hard, and that entire week there was a part of me that selfishly wanted everything possible done to keep him around. I was just able to recognize it was selfish.

And I miss him every day still. So I have a lot of compassion for the people in the article. Yes, it was a terrible waste. But, I understand the instinct to preserve your loved one while you have hope. They're often the worst people to make such decisions because of that bias. Especially when it's your teenaged daughter originally. That was who they always remembered her as I'm sure.

So sad. And fark the Catholic church, seriously, on this issue. fark them right in the ear.
2012-11-24 07:19:49 PM  
2 votes:
Only religion could justify such a disconnect between logic and reality.
2012-11-24 06:12:09 PM  
2 votes:
When the doctor shows you the scan with no activity in the part of the brain that makes a person who they are just let them go because man, they're gone.

I have had to disconnect a loved one and it's a terrible decision to have to make. Every day I question did we give up too soon? Was there something more we could have done? Did she hear me tell her goodbye and I love you for the last time?

It farking sucks and I wish nobody ever had to experience it but 42 years of leaving someone in that state is terribly cruel and selfish.


/Knowing your loved one's wishes beforehand makes it just a little bit easier
//Off to take my anti-depression meds
2012-11-24 05:27:15 PM  
2 votes:

jake_lex: From TFA:

A song was written about the family as well called "My Blessed Child."

OK, here's the thing. I don't think that families in situations like this should fall into despair, should lie prostate with grief. But, seriously, she was in a coma for 42 years. How the fark was she blessed?


Seriously. The family has a bit of a martyr thing going on IMHO.
2012-11-24 05:24:25 PM  
2 votes:
From TFA:

A song was written about the family as well called "My Blessed Child."

OK, here's the thing. I don't think that families in situations like this should fall into despair, should lie prostate with grief. But, seriously, she was in a coma for 42 years. How the fark was she blessed?
2012-11-24 05:07:11 PM  
2 votes:
I just hope that she was brain dead that whole time. Imagine 42 years of being "locked in"... =(
2012-11-24 05:06:39 PM  
2 votes:
I'm not sure what is worse; The horrible attempt at writing an article or the story of that girl's life.
2012-11-24 05:00:34 PM  
2 votes:
What a horrible,futile existence. I'm mean I guess caring for her made her family happy but damn.
2012-11-25 02:30:19 PM  
1 vote:
Disgusting story. Should've put her to pasture 42 years ago.

No one should have to live in that state. That's not love. That's torture.
2012-11-24 11:03:41 PM  
1 vote:
Kudos to them for doing what they saw as right.
2012-11-24 07:14:31 PM  
1 vote:
If I'm a vegetable with no brain activity -- pull the damn plug, save the money, and get over it.

Everyone is going to die - I damn sure wouldn't want to be a piece of breathing furniture for FOUR farkING DECADES

I get that parents love their children (most of them anyway) but 42 years? really? Let it go man, your daughter died a long long time ago. My personal opinion is that the parents were selfish as hell after about the first 5 years.

Sounds like it wasn't just one life that ended that day she slipped into the coma - the entire family's life ended since they were taking care of a breathing corpse.
2012-11-24 07:09:48 PM  
1 vote:

AdolfOliverPanties: This chick was actually very famous. Her mother refused to leave her bedside for more than an hour or two ever, and turned her every two hours. She was supposedly highly regarded by the Catholic church as having a healing touch or some such nonsense.

Her mother said she had a visit from the Blessed Virgin one night, who told her that her daughter was a "Victim Soul" and chose her specific path in life to show others the power of faith or something. Apparently "Victim Soul" is/was a closely guarded secret phenomenon the Catholic church didn't ever really talk about, so when the Mom told a priest she had seen Mother Mary and had been told about the "Victim Soul," the priest freaked out. The mom died about ten years ago, if memory serves.

I think the daughter was on one of those "Unexplained Mysteries" type shows a couple decades ago.


I knew martyrdom was involved in this story somewhere.
2012-11-24 07:04:43 PM  
1 vote:

Apos: revrendjim: I've met people who were in a dianetic coma.


Did any of them have Cruise,Travolta or Alley as surnames?


or Elfman, Bell, Lee, Hansen, Moss...
2012-11-24 07:03:21 PM  
1 vote:
This chick was actually very famous. Her mother refused to leave her bedside for more than an hour or two ever, and turned her every two hours. She was supposedly highly regarded by the Catholic church as having a healing touch or some such nonsense.

Her mother said she had a visit from the Blessed Virgin one night, who told her that her daughter was a "Victim Soul" and chose her specific path in life to show others the power of faith or something. Apparently "Victim Soul" is/was a closely guarded secret phenomenon the Catholic church didn't ever really talk about, so when the Mom told a priest she had seen Mother Mary and had been told about the "Victim Soul," the priest freaked out. The mom died about ten years ago, if memory serves.

I think the daughter was on one of those "Unexplained Mysteries" type shows a couple decades ago.
2012-11-24 06:59:21 PM  
1 vote:

scotchcrotch: Self-serving jerkoffs. If they ever go into a coma, I hope someone keeps them "alive" for half a century.


They point is that they didn't just keep her alive. They talked to her, read to her, played music to her; they made every effort to ensure that if the mind was functioning in there it was cared for.
2012-11-24 06:53:21 PM  
1 vote:
I'm sure they had the patinet's best interest in mind for FOUR FARKIN DECADES.

Instead of doing what's right, they did what was emotionally easier.

Self-serving jerkoffs. If they ever go into a coma, I hope someone keeps them "alive" for half a century.
2012-11-24 06:46:35 PM  
1 vote:

ADubs86: How does shiat like this make it past editors? They still use editors, right? We're not just publishing whatever, right?

Right?

Anyone?


CSB:
I emailed DailyFail about their crap grammar. It goes as follows

Are any articles proofread before being submitted? Every Mail Online article I have read for the past 4 months has had at least 2 spelling/grammar errors in them.
For instance, I just opened an article about Brigitte Nielsen (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-2183969/Brigitte-Nielsen -looks-disorientated-stumbles-LA-park-falling-asleep.html) which has several.

"Danish actress, Brigitte Nielsen cut a lonely and..." (No comma needed)
"as she wondered around the park alone" (Wandered, not wondered)
"as she stared into space, and puffed on numerous cigarettes." (Unnecessary comma)
"as she was snapped wondering around a public park in..." (Another wandered, not wondered)
"in the 80s as bombshell, Karla Fry in Beverly Hills Cop II." (Unnecessary comma)
"She then wen on to have..." (WENT, not wen)
"Rocky actor, Stallone's world was recently rocked" (What does this even mean? What about "Rocky actor?")

Are you guys intentionally butchering the English language in order to find out who reads your articles? This must be some new metrics that your marketing department has come up with.
"I know! Lets put as many spelling errors as possible in our articles, and for every email we receive about the errors, we can assume there are 8 others who haven't responded! BRILLIANT!"
I mean, I am certainly no master of the language, but my job is to write computer code and not write for a living. Why should I know more about grammar than professional writers and editors?

~~~~~~~~~
Dear Mr Stanky
Thank you for your email and for taking the time to write with your thoughts.
It may be helpful for you to know we work to extremely tight deadlines here at the MailOnline, and this can, at times, leave room for human error. We also follow a specific in-house style.
However, I will be sure to pass your comments on to our editor for his review.

Yours sincerely
Lucy Jones


So, no they don't proofread articles. And I'm pretty sure they rely on us the readers to point out grammatical errors for them.
2012-11-24 05:54:29 PM  
1 vote:
farm3.staticflickr.com
2012-11-24 05:52:55 PM  
1 vote:

Myria: I just hope that she was brain dead that whole time. Imagine 42 years of being "locked in"... =(


Thanks, I'm glad somebody could make this story EVEN WORSE.
2012-11-24 05:52:31 PM  
1 vote:

Myria: I just hope that she was brain dead that whole time. Imagine 42 years of being "locked in"... =(


That's the first thing I thought of. Gave me a bit of a shudder to think she may have been conscious the whole time.
2012-11-24 05:50:02 PM  
1 vote:

Krieghund: I can't say I'd do anything differently. But I can say it would be self indulgent if I were to keep my kid alive in a coma for 42 years.


I'd say to her that I was going to do whatever it took to keep her alive forever and then a nurse would tell me how much life support costs and I would immediately pull the nearest plug out of the wall and yell "Check please!" And my daughter would probably wake up right then. Laughter is the best medicine.
2012-11-24 05:48:43 PM  
1 vote:
If she had any sort of consciousness or self awareness for those 42 years I can't image more a horrible hell then she had to endure. Imagine spending 42 years not knowing if you're awake or dreaming come to think of it if she had her eye open and her visual cortex was working that would actually be worse because you would know what's going on all the time but unable to do anything

Let just hope she was brain dead during this whole ordeal.


But I digress. Which is the error in the article, the wrong video or the wrong story?
2012-11-24 05:47:46 PM  
1 vote:
"A Promise is a Promise: An Almost Unbelievable Story of a Mother's Unconditional Love and What It Can Teach Us."

That you just completely wasted 42 years.
2012-11-24 05:46:17 PM  
1 vote:
42 years in a coma is way too long. At some point they should have let her go. Does anyone know how much money it takes to care for a coma patient? Per year or month?

My boyfriend jokingly said that if he was in a coma, I could pull the plug after 42 years. I told him that one year is a good enough waiting period. Provided that there isn't a huge amount of brain ischemia that makes it extremely unlikely that I will ever wake up or that I will wake up without severe brain damage and mental retardation. Even if there is a relatively low amount of damage, if it's enough to lower my IQ to 100 or less I won't want to wake up. My whole life is based on academia and being much more intelligent than most people. I would also loathe being so disabled that I have to be taken care of. That sounds depressing but I am quite fine, and it's very unlikely that I'll go into a coma. So I will keep doing what I love: studying science in general and biology in particular.
2012-11-24 05:39:44 PM  
1 vote:
blessed with a disability check,caregiver check,caregivers tax deduction etc??
2012-11-24 05:37:33 PM  
1 vote:
I can't say I'd do anything differently. But I can say it would be self indulgent if I were to keep my kid alive in a coma for 42 years.
2012-11-24 05:32:49 PM  
1 vote:

Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: How does the pooping work?


That's where you use a colon.
2012-11-24 05:29:21 PM  
1 vote:
images3.wikia.nocookie.net

RIP Game up Homes
2012-11-24 05:29:00 PM  
1 vote:

jake_lex: From TFA:

A song was written about the family as well called "My Blessed Child."

OK, here's the thing. I don't think that families in situations like this should fall into despair, should lie prostate with grief. But, seriously, she was in a coma for 42 years. How the fark was she blessed?


and what point do you just pull the plug? honestly 42years in a coma is not what i would call a blessed life.
2012-11-24 05:28:09 PM  
1 vote:
A song was written about the family as well called "My Blessed Child."

Actually, that's another typo. The song was called "My Blasted Coma".
2012-11-24 05:25:23 PM  
1 vote:

ADubs86: How does shiat like this make it past editors? They still use editors, right? We're not just publishing whatever, right?


Right?


Anyone?


It is the Examiner... There are no editors. As subby points out about "psudojournalists." Anyone can write for the Examiner.
2012-11-24 05:21:31 PM  
1 vote:

Myria: I just hope that she was brain dead that whole time. Imagine 42 years of being "locked in"... =(


blu.stb.s-msn.com

S.O.S...........S.O.S............
2012-11-24 05:00:54 PM  
1 vote:
*scans headline*

*eye twitch, Chief Inspector Dreyfus-style*
2012-11-24 04:52:05 PM  
1 vote:
Actual text from TFA, in case they fix it:

Wednesday, Edwarda O'Bara died after spending 42 years in a coma; O'Bara was taken care of at home by her family in Miami Gardens, Florida who never game up home that she would someday wake up. O'Bara was 16 in 1970 when she went into a diabetic coma; she became sick from her medication. Her mother Kaye said that just before she slipped into the comma she asked her to never leave her side and they didn't.
2012-11-24 03:48:18 PM  
1 vote:
Diabetic comma?
 
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