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(Slate)   The real reason scientists haven't found bigfoot? They don't have the right blimp. Oh, sorry, rigid airship   (slate.com) divider line 71
    More: Silly, blimps, airships  
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5020 clicks; posted to Main » on 24 Nov 2012 at 11:26 AM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-11-24 10:59:13 AM  
For the last time, the Excelsior is filled with non-flammable helium!
 
2012-11-24 11:10:59 AM  
Danger zone.
 
2012-11-24 11:13:22 AM  
Bigfoot is totally real.

s1.aecdn.com
 
2012-11-24 11:14:33 AM  
img24.imageshack.us
 
2012-11-24 11:30:23 AM  
Of course Bigfoot (actually 'Sasquatch', but there's no need to be PC about this now) exists. T. Roosevelt knew this, and that's why he created the national parks to prevent their land from being encroached upon.
 
2012-11-24 11:34:44 AM  
They were obviously too busy in the casino inside the blimp.
 
2012-11-24 11:35:01 AM  
I don't think blimps are technically "rigid airships". That would be something like a zeppelin, which has a rigid frame around which the skin of the balloon is stretched.
 
2012-11-24 11:36:35 AM  
The real reason scientists Discovery Channel/TLC/Sci/SyFy/History/CSpan/History2/NGC haven't found bigfoot?

Are any real scientists looking for bigfoot?
 
2012-11-24 11:37:23 AM  

Arkanaut: I don't think blimps are technically "rigid airships". That would be something like a zeppelin, which has a rigid frame around which the skin of the balloon is stretched.


Aha! The Wikipedia article on blimps even specifically says they are "non-rigid airships".
 
2012-11-24 11:37:47 AM  
The government has all the sasquatch rounded up in nature preserves inaccessable to civilians.

I read somewhere the argument that North America is the only continent, outside of Antarctica, that has no known species of nonhuman apes. Even Europe had one, which i believe is now extinct. Odd little piece of trivia.
 
2012-11-24 11:42:11 AM  
That's what she said.
 
2012-11-24 11:43:43 AM  

Arkanaut: Arkanaut: I don't think blimps are technically "rigid airships". That would be something like a zeppelin, which has a rigid frame around which the skin of the balloon is stretched.

Aha! The Wikipedia article on blimps even specifically says they are "non-rigid airships".


static.tumblr.com
Wow, that's fascinating.
 
2012-11-24 11:44:35 AM  
Bigfoot is at the bottom of Loch Ness with Jimmy Hoffa and Elvis.
 
2012-11-24 11:45:43 AM  

RoyHobbs22: Bigfoot is at the bottom of Loch Ness with Jimmy Hoffa and Elvis.


I thought Elvis was living in Eerie, Indiana.
 
2012-11-24 11:48:44 AM  
In before someone pointing out it's an archer refer...oh.
 
2012-11-24 11:55:35 AM  

iron_city_ap: The government has all the sasquatch rounded up in nature preserves inaccessable to civilians.

I read somewhere the argument that North America is the only continent, outside of Antarctica, that has no known species of nonhuman apes. Even Europe had one, which i believe is now extinct. Odd little piece of trivia.


The Gibraltar, or Barbary, macaque isn'e extinct.
 
2012-11-24 12:01:52 PM  
I haven't been in my laundry room today.... therefore.... bigfoot is totally in there.
 
2012-11-24 12:02:21 PM  
thumbs.anyclip.com
 
2012-11-24 12:11:18 PM  

give me doughnuts: iron_city_ap: The government has all the sasquatch rounded up in nature preserves inaccessable to civilians.

I read somewhere the argument that North America is the only continent, outside of Antarctica, that has no known species of nonhuman apes. Even Europe had one, which i believe is now extinct. Odd little piece of trivia.

The Gibraltar, or Barbary, macaque isn'e extinct.


Nor is it an ape.
 
2012-11-24 12:16:22 PM  

iron_city_ap: The government has all the sasquatch rounded up in nature preserves inaccessable to civilians.

I read somewhere the argument that North America is the only continent, outside of Antarctica, that has no known species of nonhuman apes. Even Europe had one, which i believe is now extinct. Odd little piece of trivia.


South America and Australia don't either.
 
2012-11-24 12:19:27 PM  

Sid_6.7: For the last time, the Excelsior is filled with non-flammable helium!


Well, obviously I'm not getting the core concept.
 
2012-11-24 12:29:30 PM  
CSB
Got a really good friend (always been rational and scientific in thought) who has embraced the whole bigfoot thing compltely. They did a little research, which led to more and more. Now they are a total believer. I still refuse to accept it...but they are convinced. And they are presenting me with some convincing arguments. They are even prepared to spend a few days in a nearby forest. Suggestions?
 
2012-11-24 12:31:41 PM  
Uh, hello, Airplanes? Yeah, it's blimps.

You win.

Bye!
 
2012-11-24 12:33:16 PM  

slave2grind: They are even prepared to spend a few days in a nearby forest. Suggestions?


Bring a tent.
 
2012-11-24 12:34:50 PM  
"It's not a blimp! You stupid little thick-headed Saxon git! It's not a blimp! Blimps is for kiddy-winkies. If you want to play with blimps, get outside."
Link
 
2012-11-24 12:38:41 PM  

BokerBill: give me doughnuts: iron_city_ap: The government has all the sasquatch rounded up in nature preserves inaccessable to civilians.

I read somewhere the argument that North America is the only continent, outside of Antarctica, that has no known species of nonhuman apes. Even Europe had one, which i believe is now extinct. Odd little piece of trivia.

The Gibraltar, or Barbary, macaque isn'e extinct.

Nor is it an ape.


I worded that poorly. I meant to include monkeys. Figured ape would be the best way to imply that. Should have used 'nonhuman primates' to appease the law firm of Fark, Fark, and Fark. Even though the term applies to Chloe Kardashian.
 
2012-11-24 12:49:22 PM  

slave2grind: CSB
Got a really good friend (always been rational and scientific in thought) who has embraced the whole bigfoot thing compltely. They did a little research, which led to more and more. Now they are a total believer. I still refuse to accept it...but they are convinced. And they are presenting me with some convincing arguments. They are even prepared to spend a few days in a nearby forest. Suggestions?


Get new friends, stat
 
2012-11-24 12:52:43 PM  
I thought the reason was because Bigfoot is blurry. There's a large out-of-focus monster wandering around in the PNW.
Well that's what my buddy Mitchell told me, anyway.

/heh
//All right
 
2012-11-24 12:55:24 PM  
Ancient Aliens told me we haven't found bigfoot because he's an alien. And there are wormholes hidden in the woods. Or something like that.

/My vulva is as smooth as a veal cutlet
//keep the Archer references coming
 
2012-11-24 12:58:18 PM  

BokerBill: give me doughnuts: iron_city_ap: The government has all the sasquatch rounded up in nature preserves inaccessable to civilians.

I read somewhere the argument that North America is the only continent, outside of Antarctica, that has no known species of nonhuman apes. Even Europe had one, which i believe is now extinct. Odd little piece of trivia.

The Gibraltar, or Barbary, macaque isn'e extinct.

Nor is it an ape.


It's the closest Europe has come to having an ape in 7 million years.
 
2012-11-24 01:00:07 PM  
"I think Bigfoot is blurry, that's the problem. It's not the photographer's fault. Bigfoot is blurry, and that's extra scary to me. There's a large, out-of-focus monster roaming the countryside. Run, he's fuzzy, get out of here."
 
2012-11-24 01:01:37 PM  

give me doughnuts: BokerBill: give me doughnuts: iron_city_ap: The government has all the sasquatch rounded up in nature preserves inaccessable to civilians.

I read somewhere the argument that North America is the only continent, outside of Antarctica, that has no known species of nonhuman apes. Even Europe had one, which i believe is now extinct. Odd little piece of trivia.

The Gibraltar, or Barbary, macaque isn'e extinct.

Nor is it an ape.

It's the closest Europe has come to having an ape in 7 million years.


non-Homonid apes, that is.
 
2012-11-24 01:01:59 PM  

AverageAmericanGuy: Of course Bigfoot (actually 'Sasquatch', but there's no need to be PC about this now) exists. T. Roosevelt knew this, and that's why he created the national parks to prevent their land from being encroached upon.


That's actually one of the more reasonable pro-bigfoot stories ice heard. I guess that just goes to show how batshiat insane most bigfoot stories are.
 
2012-11-24 01:06:15 PM  
And I see Ball Zitch beat me to it.

unobservant guys like me are why the Dufresne's were never found
 
2012-11-24 01:23:37 PM  

TheOther: The real reason scientists Discovery Channel/TLC/Sci/SyFy/History/CSpan/History2/NGC haven't found bigfoot?

Are any real scientists looking for bigfoot?


Stand by...news is about to surface of Dr. Melba Ketchum's DNA project, in which a scientific team has combined samples from various areas and came up with some interesting results. Mostly it'll show that 'Bigfoot' is real and a hybrid of human and some 'unknown' animal. I'm guessing Gigantopithecus.

Sadly, Dr Meldrum's Falcon Project is a lot of barking up the wrong tree. The blimp ain't so expensive, but unless they man up the spotters, they're gonna be buried in data. They're gonna attempt to tell a bigfoot from the thousands of other animal heat signatures. It'll swamp them, and they'll have no success.
 
2012-11-24 01:27:07 PM  
You can't find BigFoot, because BigFoot is a Faux Bigot
 
2012-11-24 01:34:39 PM  

Candygram for Mongo: "I think Bigfoot is blurry, that's the problem. It's not the photographer's fault. Bigfoot is blurry, and that's extra scary to me. There's a large, out-of-focus monster roaming the countryside. Run, he's fuzzy, get out of here."


And did you know that the Japanese have pixelated junk? I learned this on the internet.
 
2012-11-24 01:36:09 PM  

iron_city_ap: BokerBill: give me doughnuts: iron_city_ap: The government has all the sasquatch rounded up in nature preserves inaccessable to civilians.

I read somewhere the argument that North America is the only continent, outside of Antarctica, that has no known species of nonhuman apes. Even Europe had one, which i believe is now extinct. Odd little piece of trivia.

The Gibraltar, or Barbary, macaque isn'e extinct.

Nor is it an ape.

I worded that poorly. I meant to include monkeys. Figured ape would be the best way to imply that. Should have used 'nonhuman primates' to appease the law firm of Fark, Fark, and Fark. Even though the term applies to Chloe Kardashian.


I saw monkeys in Belize, Guatemala, and traveling in the southern half of Mexico. North America isn't just USA and Canada...
 
2012-11-24 01:36:59 PM  

Mikeyworld: TheOther: The real reason scientists Discovery Channel/TLC/Sci/SyFy/History/CSpan/History2/NGC haven't found bigfoot?

Are any real scientists looking for bigfoot?

Stand by...news is about to surface of Dr. Melba Ketchum's DNA project, in which a scientific team has combined samples from various areas and came up with some interesting results. Mostly it'll show that 'Bigfoot' is real and a hybrid of human and some 'unknown' animal. I'm guessing Gigantopithecus.

Sadly, Dr Meldrum's Falcon Project is a lot of barking up the wrong tree. The blimp ain't so expensive, but unless they man up the spotters, they're gonna be buried in data. They're gonna attempt to tell a bigfoot from the thousands of other animal heat signatures. It'll swamp them, and they'll have no success.


Kerchum's study is a hoax. She got caught, that's why she deleted her Facebook profile and cancelled all her public speaking engagements. There is no "study" it was 100% bullshiat.
 
2012-11-24 01:40:39 PM  

slave2grind: CSB

They are even prepared to spend a few days in a nearby forest. Suggestions?


Keep your eyes down and yer mouf shut. Don't go lighting fireworks, or having a 'rave' in the forest, like some TV shows we know. 'Bigfoots', when not moving about, tend to lie down, and when moving, stop near trees a lot. They are afraid of you! They'll run before they'll attack, so stop and shoot that non-shaky video we've all been waiting for. Have a measuring stick handy (a three-fold section of a folding ruler works real well) to place next to evidence when taking pictures. If you can get a Flir camera, it'll improve your ability to spot animals in the dark. Mostly, knowing what a bigfoot does will get you results.

/...and shooting them is considered cheating
//but if ya do, bring the damn thing out with you
///it's NOT 'squatchy' NOT ever
 
2012-11-24 01:50:52 PM  

Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: Mikeyworld: TheOther: The real reason scientists Discovery Channel/TLC/Sci/SyFy/History/CSpan/History2/NGC haven't found bigfoot?

Are any real scientists looking for bigfoot?

Stand by...news is about to surface of Dr. Melba Ketchum's DNA project, in which a scientific team has combined samples from various areas and came up with some interesting results. Mostly it'll show that 'Bigfoot' is real and a hybrid of human and some 'unknown' animal. I'm guessing Gigantopithecus.


Kerchum's study is a hoax. She got caught, that's why she deleted her Facebook profile and cancelled all her public speaking engagements. There is no "study" it was 100% bullshiat.


The study is about to be published so keep up the ranting. Anytime someone is is afraid of the issue, for whatever reason. they throw out the 'hoax' flag. We'll see if it's a Hoax shortly. It'll either fade into oblivion or we'll read it. I ain't gonna argue the point. You really need to work out why you are needing to call a hoax on an issue that, if it IS a hoax, you shouldn't be spending your energies on.

/What are you compensating for?
///Hmmmm?
 
2012-11-24 01:52:39 PM  

Candygram for Mongo: And I see Ball Zitch beat me to it.

unobservant guys like me are why the Dufresne's were never found


The Dufresne's were never found because they were in the trunk of my car with duct tape over their mouths, and nobody seemed to care. Don't blame yourself.
 
2012-11-24 02:03:58 PM  

Mikeyworld: Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: Mikeyworld: TheOther: The real reason scientists Discovery Channel/TLC/Sci/SyFy/History/CSpan/History2/NGC haven't found bigfoot?

Are any real scientists looking for bigfoot?

Stand by...news is about to surface of Dr. Melba Ketchum's DNA project, in which a scientific team has combined samples from various areas and came up with some interesting results. Mostly it'll show that 'Bigfoot' is real and a hybrid of human and some 'unknown' animal. I'm guessing Gigantopithecus.


Kerchum's study is a hoax. She got caught, that's why she deleted her Facebook profile and cancelled all her public speaking engagements. There is no "study" it was 100% bullshiat.

The study is about to be published so keep up the ranting. Anytime someone is is afraid of the issue, for whatever reason. they throw out the 'hoax' flag. We'll see if it's a Hoax shortly. It'll either fade into oblivion or we'll read it. I ain't gonna argue the point. You really need to work out why you are needing to call a hoax on an issue that, if it IS a hoax, you shouldn't be spending your energies on.

/What are you compensating for?
///Hmmmm?


Cute.

Ketchum's study was "about to be published" in 2010.. then 2011.. then 2012, and now someone is claiming 2013. Right.

And I don't know what issue it is you think I'm afraid of. I hope bigfoot is real, that would be neat.
But Ketchum is a huckster, plain and simple. She's made numerous bizarre and inconsistent claims, such as that bigfoots are psyhic and can detect camera equipment from a distance, that they're a lost tribe of native Americans, that they're incredibly elusive creatures yet they braided her horses manes on her horse farm (yes, she actually claimed that), that they have human DNA, and that she has observed them herself in the wild.

Hardly anyone, including the more fringe bigfoot believers, buy into the Ketchum hoax anymore.

Keep waiting for the "study" though, I'm sure it will be published any day now... :b
 
2012-11-24 02:24:18 PM  
People: It's SAMSQUATCH.
 
2012-11-24 02:34:09 PM  

DangerGentleman: People: It's SAMSQUATCH.


I've been waiting for a Bubbles or TPB reference.
/leaving mildly satisfied
 
2012-11-24 02:38:45 PM  

Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: Mikeyworld: Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: Mikeyworld: TheOther: The real reason scientists Discovery Channel/TLC/Sci/SyFy/History/CSpan/History2/NGC haven't found bigfoot?

Are any real scientists looking for bigfoot?

Stand by...news is about to surface of Dr. Melba Ketchum's DNA project, in which a scientific team has combined samples from various areas and came up with some interesting results. Mostly it'll show that 'Bigfoot' is real and a hybrid of human and some 'unknown' animal. I'm guessing Gigantopithecus.


Kerchum's study is a hoax. She got caught, that's why she deleted her Facebook profile and cancelled all her public speaking engagements. There is no "study" it was 100% bullshiat.

The study is about to be published so keep up the ranting. Anytime someone is is afraid of the issue, for whatever reason. they throw out the 'hoax' flag. We'll see if it's a Hoax shortly. It'll either fade into oblivion or we'll read it. I ain't gonna argue the point. You really need to work out why you are needing to call a hoax on an issue that, if it IS a hoax, you shouldn't be spending your energies on.

/What are you compensating for?
///Hmmmm?

Cute.

Ketchum's study was "about to be published" in 2010.. then 2011.. then 2012, and now someone is claiming 2013. Right.

And I don't know what issue it is you think I'm afraid of. I hope bigfoot is real, that would be neat.
But Ketchum is a huckster, plain and simple. She's made numerous bizarre and inconsistent claims, such as that bigfoots are psyhic and can detect camera equipment from a distance, that they're a lost tribe of native Americans, that they're incredibly elusive creatures yet they braided her horses manes on her horse farm (yes, she actually claimed that), that they have human DNA, and that she has observed them herself in the wild.

Hardly anyone, including the more fringe bigfoot believers, buy into the Ketchum hoax anymore.

Keep waiting for the "study" though, I'm sure it will be published any day n ...


Dude, keep ranting. Dr ketchum has posted a Press release . Maybe she's admitting defeat and blaming Tom Biscardi
 
2012-11-24 02:42:57 PM  
"It's not a balloon! Balloons are for kiddiewinkies! It's an airship!"
 
2012-11-24 02:51:46 PM  

iron_city_ap: I read somewhere the argument that North America is the only continent, outside of Antarctica, that has no known species of nonhuman apes. Even Europe had one, which i believe is now extinct. Odd little piece of trivia.


North America, South America, Antarctica, and Australia. (The last European ape died out seven million years ago.)
 
2012-11-24 02:53:34 PM  

Klom Dark: You can't find BigFoot, because BigFoot is a Faux Bigot


If that waere true wouldn't FOX's outrage be fierce and swift?
 
2012-11-24 02:54:16 PM  

iron_city_ap: I worded that poorly. I meant to include monkeys. Figured ape would be the best way to imply that.


While apes are a type of monkey, monkeys are not a type of ape.
 
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