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(AlterNet)   Pat Robertson blames God for his not predicting the election correctly. Apparently, God is a quiet talker   (alternet.org) divider line 270
    More: Amusing, Pat Robertson, god, Christian Broadcasting Network  
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6127 clicks; posted to Politics » on 24 Nov 2012 at 7:23 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-11-24 07:24:52 AM
God could have been lying. He is all-powerful. Surely lying falls within those powers He possesses.
 
2012-11-24 07:26:54 AM
50/50 chance, right Patty-cakes?
 
2012-11-24 07:28:07 AM
Hey Pat... that voice you hear in your head... It's your imagination. You told yourself what you wanted to 'hear' and you were wrong. That's what happened. But you go ahead and keep grifting those 'faithful'...
 
2012-11-24 07:28:28 AM
Charlatans need their excuses.
 
2012-11-24 07:32:09 AM
I hate living in this age. I wish believing in stuff made it real so I could be reincarnated in the future.
 
2012-11-24 07:35:32 AM
A truly honest man would start to question everything else he heard "God" tell him, too.
 
2012-11-24 07:36:58 AM
God was wrong?

My doG is wrong all the time. But, I thought it was impossible for his to be.
 
2012-11-24 07:36:59 AM

Serious Black: God could have been lying. He is all-powerful. Surely lying falls within those powers He possesses.


I guess with God, all things ARE possible. Even the IMpossible.

Hebrews 6:18
It was impossible for God to lie.

Ezekiel 14:9
And if a prophet be deceived when he hath spoken a thing, I the Lord have deceived that prophet.
 
2012-11-24 07:40:13 AM
Then, Robertson's Christian Broadcasting Network predicted a GOP sweep, leaving Robertson utterly confounded by Obama's victory

A normal person would use that as an opportunity to better themselves by taking a long hard look at their beliefs and their actions.
 
2012-11-24 07:41:51 AM
So, logically, either there isn't a god as described by Christianity... or that's not the entity Robertson is listening to.

Technically, I know it's the first one, but I can't help but feel the second would actually be funnier.
 
2012-11-24 07:42:45 AM

CryoMax: Serious Black: God could have been lying. He is all-powerful. Surely lying falls within those powers He possesses.

I guess with God, all things ARE possible. Even the IMpossible.

Hebrews 6:18
It was impossible for God to lie.

Ezekiel 14:9
And if a prophet be deceived when he hath spoken a thing, I the Lord have deceived that prophet.


Yup. God can create a rock so big that he cannot lift it, but he can lift it all the same.

Or for you Pastafarians, FSM can create a meatball so large he cannot eat it, but he can eat it as well. Ramen.
 
2012-11-24 07:43:24 AM
Three possibilities.

1. Pat Robertson heard from God, and God lied to him.
2. Pat Robertson is delusional and hallucinated a conversation with God.
3. Pat Robertson is a hypocritical, self-serving liar intent on extracting credulous people's money.

I'm going with No. 3.
 
2012-11-24 07:45:45 AM
So, if Sandy is God's wrath for homosexuals being given rights, is Obama being re-elected God's joke on Robertson to tell Pat that his eardrums are gay too?
 
2012-11-24 07:47:28 AM

Jim_Callahan: So, logically, either there isn't a god as described by Christianity... or that's not the entity Robertson is listening to.


logically, he was in the right wing bubble and believed his own bullshiat.
 
2012-11-24 07:50:14 AM

clambam: Three possibilities.

1. Pat Robertson heard from God, and God lied to him.
2. Pat Robertson is delusional and hallucinated a conversation with God.
3. Pat Robertson is a hypocritical, self-serving liar intent on extracting credulous people's money.

I'm going with No. 3


It's 2 and 3.
 
2012-11-24 07:50:41 AM

log_jammin: Jim_Callahan: So, logically, either there isn't a god as described by Christianity... or that's not the entity Robertson is listening to.

logically, he was in the right wing bubble and believed his own bullshiat.


Logically, your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries.
 
2012-11-24 07:51:48 AM

JohnnyC: It's 2 and 3.


nah. he's a con man and he knows he is. His "conversations with god" are just a way to give marching orders to his viewers.
 
2012-11-24 07:54:30 AM
Maybe God lied to Pat as punishment for bending over to placate a cultist.
 
2012-11-24 07:56:26 AM
I'm pretty sure he has been hearing God wrong his whole life.
 
2012-11-24 07:59:19 AM
The idea of a "Christian Nation" is laughable. Consider the following Bible passage:

"You have heard that it was said, 'Eye for eye, and tooth for tooth.' But I tell you, Do not resist an evil person. If someone strikes you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also. And if someone wants to sue you and take your tunic, let him have your cloak as well. If someone forces you to go one mile, go with him two miles. Give to the one who asks you, and do not turn away from the one who wants to borrow from you." -- Matthew 5:39-42

If you are not to resist those who would take from you and enslave you then how and the hell are you going to remain a nation? All this "Holy Christian Warrior" bullshait is drawn from either the Old Testament (which only applies to the Jews), or is simply outright fabrication with not doctrinal basis.
 
2012-11-24 08:00:38 AM
Oh, that God. Always leading you guys around with that carrot on a stick. Just when you think you can reach it, he pulls it away. What a joker!
 
2012-11-24 08:01:17 AM
To be fair, God told me Pat Robertson is a ridiculous twat, so he is batting .500.
 
2012-11-24 08:02:26 AM

edmo: I'm pretty sure he has been hearing God wrong his whole life.


Nah, he just shapes his own reality. That's why he refers to himself as a Korean War vet, despite the fact that people in his company were interviewed and said "The closest he ever got to any action was a Tokyo whorehouse."
 
2012-11-24 08:03:08 AM
I'll go with "I have no idea what the fark I'm talking about, and I'm just making this shiat up as I go. You know...whatever I think will get the suc...errr...congregation...fired up." 
 
2012-11-24 08:07:04 AM

CryoMax:
I guess with God, all things ARE possible. Even the IMpossible.

Hebrews 6:18
It was impossible for God to lie.

Ezekiel 14:9
And if a prophet be deceived when he hath spoken a thing, I the Lord have deceived that prophet.


"An Aes Sedai never lies, but the truth she tells you isn't the one you think you hear."
 
2012-11-24 08:11:23 AM

aagrajag: 50/50 chance, right Patty-cakes?


Nope.

qph.is.quoracdn.net
 
2012-11-24 08:12:33 AM
Like Job, God is testing his faith. God lies to Pat everyday to see if his faith will endure. God tells him "You're doing good work; swindle money from desperate poor people in my name, and spend it on another vacation home. You're a good man Pat." Obvious lies, yet Pat's faith remains steadfast. Keep fighting the good fight Pat.
 
2012-11-24 08:13:07 AM
That's not God you've been talking to, Pat.
 
2012-11-24 08:17:48 AM

nmemkha: The idea of a "Christian Nation" is laughable. Consider the following Bible passage:

"You have heard that it was said, 'Eye for eye, and tooth for tooth.' But I tell you, Do not resist an evil person. If someone strikes you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also. And if someone wants to sue you and take your tunic, let him have your cloak as well. If someone forces you to go one mile, go with him two miles. Give to the one who asks you, and do not turn away from the one who wants to borrow from you." -- Matthew 5:39-42

If you are not to resist those who would take from you and enslave you then how and the hell are you going to remain a nation? All this "Holy Christian Warrior" bullshait is drawn from either the Old Testament (which only applies to the Jews), or is simply outright fabrication with not doctrinal basis.


Well... That's not entirely true.. The parts of the New Testament that are actually about Jesus aren't like that, but the insane ravenings and hateful hallucinations of Paul's anti-Greek agenda certainly are.

Constantine hated the Greeks and loved to make war, so Christianity became Paul's cult.

Historians are starting to think the stuff Paul wrote to be the first documented example of schizophrenia.
 
2012-11-24 08:18:59 AM

Jim_Callahan: So, logically, either there isn't a god as described by Christianity... or that's not the entity Robertson is listening to.

Technically, I know it's the first one, but I can't help but feel the second would actually be funnier.


I just had the thought that someone's playing the Kent prank on him . . .
 
2012-11-24 08:19:23 AM
That can only mean one thing Pat Robertson. That voice speaking to you is not the voice of God, but the voice of Satan deceiving you. You have been tricked by Satan into becomming one of those "false prophets" as described in the Bible. You, your career, and your entire religious empire was built on lies fed to you by Satan.

How do you like those apples Pat?

Seriously though, dude is just plain crazy. As a Christian I can tell you this is not how God operates. Because of people like him I can understand the disdain for Christianityof some by the bastardized version they present. if there is a God (which I beleive) who actually created the entire universe, and with so many things about the universe we are totally clueless about even with our top scientists, how can we be so arrogant to speak for God in any aspect and claim to understand how God thinks? People like Pat Robertson are just projecting their views onto a fake "God/Jesus strawman" and using it to manipulate others. Kind of like the Obama Kenyan anti-American Socialist Nazi userper strawman created by conservatives.
 
2012-11-24 08:20:09 AM

LittleSmitty: Oh, that God. Always leading you guys around with that carrot on a stick. Just when you think you can reach it, he pulls it away. What a joker!


"Thou must always keep thine eye on the golden ring." -- Republican Jesus, Bylaws of Supply Side Acquisition, Section 1.3.2(a)
 
2012-11-24 08:20:35 AM
d2tq98mqfjyz2l.cloudfront.net
 
2012-11-24 08:23:00 AM
Apparently this is your new god

i2.cdn.turner.com
 
2012-11-24 08:23:19 AM
Throwing g*d under the bus. That's pretty low, even for pat robertson.
 
2012-11-24 08:25:16 AM

neongoats: nmemkha: The idea of a "Christian Nation" is laughable. Consider the following Bible passage:

"You have heard that it was said, 'Eye for eye, and tooth for tooth.' But I tell you, Do not resist an evil person. If someone strikes you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also. And if someone wants to sue you and take your tunic, let him have your cloak as well. If someone forces you to go one mile, go with him two miles. Give to the one who asks you, and do not turn away from the one who wants to borrow from you." -- Matthew 5:39-42

If you are not to resist those who would take from you and enslave you then how and the hell are you going to remain a nation? All this "Holy Christian Warrior" bullshait is drawn from either the Old Testament (which only applies to the Jews), or is simply outright fabrication with not doctrinal basis.

Well... That's not entirely true.. The parts of the New Testament that are actually about Jesus aren't like that, but the insane ravenings and hateful hallucinations of Paul's anti-Greek agenda certainly are.

Constantine hated the Greeks and loved to make war, so Christianity became Paul's cult.

Historians are starting to think the stuff Paul wrote to be the first documented example of schizophrenia.


To me what Jesus said matters. He said "my words will endure" so I roll with that. Personally, I do not put much weight on the teachings of Paul.
 
2012-11-24 08:27:51 AM
They really are incapable of ever admitting being wrong and try to better themselves, aren't they.

I like how the self proclaimed best followers of Jesus actually do the exact opposite of what he taught.
 
2012-11-24 08:28:42 AM
Pats god shuffles, stumbles and mumbles. Aqualung my friend, don't ya start away uneasy....
 
2012-11-24 08:30:13 AM

log_jammin: JohnnyC: It's 2 and 3.

nah. he's a con man and he knows he is. His "conversations with god" are just a way to give marching orders to his viewers.


I don't know, man... after a while the whole religiousness thing has a physical effect on the brain. I'm not certain that it is very easy or even possible for someone to come back from being as deep into it as Pat is. He really believes in his God. I mean, down to his core believes in his God. That doesn't mean he isn't simultaneously a con man. He probably has justified his taking of other people's money in exchange for talking about his religiousness as doing "Gods work" or some such nonsense. Likely in his head, he has done nothing wrong and is honestly confused at how he could have been so wrong. I'm sure the answer to the question he gave to himself when he asked, "Who doth the Lord will to be President?" (or whatever variation of that question he asked) was something like, "Not that black Democrat!" or some variation of that... and was satisfied with the answer he gave himself.

Essentially... he conned himself, but isn't that what religion is really all about? Giving oneself some fantastic bullshiat to believe in an attempt to make getting through life a little more pleasant?
 
2012-11-24 08:31:13 AM
Pat Robertson once said, / "It's a long downward slide / That'll lead to legalizing sex with ducks / If two men can stand side by side"

You know you've created God in your own image when it turns out that your God hates everyone you hate.
 
2012-11-24 08:32:14 AM

Zeno-25: [d2tq98mqfjyz2l.cloudfront.net image 500x499]


Sounds like this god fellow is a bit of a dick.
 
2012-11-24 08:34:52 AM

Jim_Callahan: So, logically, either there isn't a god as described by Christianity... or that's not the entity Robertson is listening to.

Technically, I know it's the first one, but I can't help but feel the second would actually be funnier.


Think of it like this :

Anyone who has ever had children knows that at a certain, immature point, you can tell them something and they will twist it all around on you and misunderstand it on purpose.

That's what's happened.
 
2012-11-24 08:34:58 AM
Wait a second... this would suggest that Robertson's just a charlatan. Could it be possible?
 
2012-11-24 08:35:48 AM
Someone pointed out Romans 13 and I've been having fun with it for a few weeks.

It teaches that God is not a Republican this year and that Obama was chosen by God to be president.
 
2012-11-24 08:36:28 AM

rubi_con_man: Think of it like this :

Anyone who has ever had children knows that at a certain, immature point, you can tell them something and they will twist it all around on you and misunderstand it on purpose.

That's what's happened.



So god is just like a mortal man? I'd expect better of him.
 
2012-11-24 08:36:36 AM

Sass-O-Rev: Pat Robertson once said, / "It's a long downward slide / That'll lead to legalizing sex with ducks / If two men can stand side by side"

You know you've created God in your own image when it turns out that your God hates everyone you hate.


Really? Ducks? Well, I guess at this point, they're running out of chickens.
 
2012-11-24 08:39:55 AM

CryoMax: I guess with God, all things ARE possible. Even the IMpossible.


Wait a minute...does that mean that God runs zombo.com?
 
2012-11-24 08:40:06 AM

stoli n coke: Sass-O-Rev: Pat Robertson once said, / "It's a long downward slide / That'll lead to legalizing sex with ducks / If two men can stand side by side"

You know you've created God in your own image when it turns out that your God hates everyone you hate.

Really? Ducks? Well, I guess at this point, they're running out of chickens.


Ftw. Thread over. Back to the chicken thread.
 
2012-11-24 08:41:20 AM

stoli n coke: Sass-O-Rev: Pat Robertson once said, / "It's a long downward slide / That'll lead to legalizing sex with ducks / If two men can stand side by side"

You know you've created God in your own image when it turns out that your God hates everyone you hate.

Really? Ducks? Well, I guess at this point, they're running out of chickens.


All I get from that is pat robertson want's to have sex with a duck sooooooo bad...
 
2012-11-24 08:44:45 AM
fc04.deviantart.net
Problem, my child?
 
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