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(Daily Star)   KE$HA is planning to have sex with as many men as possible during her world tour. Still won't have sex with you   (dailystar.co.uk) divider line 132
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14343 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 24 Nov 2012 at 8:01 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-11-24 10:06:38 AM

Bored Horde: Hotdogs down a hallway? Only on Fark do men think that regularly exercising a muscle makes it weaker.


Or that constant stretching of a muscle makes it looser!
 
2012-11-24 10:07:25 AM
she "bones" guys?


uhhhhhhhhhhhh
 
2012-11-24 10:11:02 AM
So roughly translated the record company realized she wasn't selling a lot of tickets and the numbers came in and she is doing well amongst stupid teenage girls. Record company to Ke$ha- "How are we going to tap into the brain dead teen boy market?" Ke$ha's response-"I could make them think I am going to bone them all."

Step 3. Profit
 
2012-11-24 10:14:31 AM
World Tour? Is she headlining with Duffy or Panic at the Disco? Is it going to be another One Hit Wonders nostalgia tour? I hardly think this chick is talented or popular enough to headline a concert on her own.
 
2012-11-24 10:15:34 AM
i2.listal.com
 
2012-11-24 10:25:07 AM
Tat'dGreaser
She sounds like every college aged girl, just so happens that newspapers want to hear what she says.

The newspapers don't care. They fired their reporters so now a clerk waits for press releases from people she's heard of.
 
182
2012-11-24 10:33:33 AM

skinink: It's okay if her boobs are small, but she has no ass at all! Her ass is so flat, Mark Sanchez would refuse to slide into it to fumble a ball.


lol
 
2012-11-24 10:33:41 AM
I would as long as she didn't sing. She is awful. I would feel bad afterwords too and probably need a scolding hot shower to clean off the salty garbage stank.
 
2012-11-24 10:34:18 AM
I don't know what a KE$HA is, but I wish that I had known this good news (that I won't get an STD from this thing) two days ago so I could have consciously thanked God, the Pilgrims, and the Native Americans for this blessing.
 
2012-11-24 10:41:39 AM
In related news, men all over the world suddenly come out as gay.
 
2012-11-24 10:44:48 AM
I think with this one, even Farkers have a good shot.
 
2012-11-24 10:48:15 AM
This would be me afterwards

i.ytimg.com 

He needs more disinfect!
 
2012-11-24 10:48:16 AM
02varvara.files.wordpress.com
 
2012-11-24 10:51:30 AM

Sapient: I think with this one, even Farkers have a good shot.


The ironic thing is, that with this one, most Farkers (honestly) don't really *want* a shot.
 
2012-11-24 11:00:18 AM
How much does she pay for sex? And if she pays by the inch, then it won't be worth subby's time.
 
2012-11-24 11:02:15 AM
I'd hit it. She's not very good looking, but she's a celebrity. It would make for a good story.

/I'd make sure that I blasted a load all over her face though. Then I'd throw glitter in it.
 
2012-11-24 11:05:28 AM

Brick-House: How much does she pay for sex? And if she pays by the inch, then it won't be worth subby's time.


No, no, no... she pays you if you don't support a party that supports no rape exception for abortion legislation. She politely asks you for money for every no rape exception for abortion bill that your party supports.

I hope you've got some travelers checks, Brick.
 
2012-11-24 11:09:15 AM
she should invest some of her wealth into plastic surgery. lipo, tit job, ass lift, skin clearing. then MAYBE she can waitress at a strip club in miami or be bartender at a b-list bar here.
right now, the best she;s going to get is catering or bus boy jobs. i dont think shes even ready for hostess. id rather stick my dick in a glory hole.
you can fall into more attractive women on a tuesday night in miami.
 
2012-11-24 11:20:23 AM
If she's literally dedicated to that statement, good luck to her, but the competition is pretty stiff.
 
2012-11-24 11:30:17 AM
i284.photobucket.com
 
2012-11-24 11:31:54 AM
It's all fun and games until you get blasted with the Voltron of STDs.
 
2012-11-24 11:35:11 AM
 
2012-11-24 11:36:52 AM
Nope
 
2012-11-24 11:44:28 AM

Abe Vigoda's Ghost: $he looks pretty nice walking nude on the beach


That picture lacks a paper bag.
 
2012-11-24 12:02:02 PM
This gimmick works? People buy this?
 
2012-11-24 12:12:29 PM
If you could somehow capture the essence of her vagina and weaponize it, you'd have an effective defense against tasteful men everywhere.
 
2012-11-24 12:14:56 PM

ZeroCorpse: If you could somehow capture the essence of her vagina and weaponize it, you'd have an effective defense against tasteful men everywhere.


I thought her music did that on its own
 
2012-11-24 12:19:36 PM
Still OK with that.
 
2012-11-24 12:20:15 PM

Sapient: I think with this one, even Farkers have a good shot.


Not unless they look like Mick Jagger.

/wtf?
 
2012-11-24 12:25:06 PM

Mugato: I still can't believe with a name like "KE$HA" she's not a black rapper.


Somewhere, there's a black female rapper named "Susan".
 
2012-11-24 12:29:24 PM
globalnerdy.com
 
2012-11-24 12:46:34 PM

FuryOfFirestorm:


So you're saying she's totally invincible?
 
2012-11-24 12:50:36 PM

moothemagiccow: ZeroCorpse: If you could somehow capture the essence of her vagina and weaponize it, you'd have an effective defense against tasteful men everywhere.

I thought her music did that on its own


www.grayflannelsuit.net
 
2012-11-24 01:11:54 PM
Well, now how know how Captain Trips spreads.
 
2012-11-24 01:11:56 PM

FuryOfFirestorm: Mugato: I still can't believe with a name like "KE$HA" she's not a black rapper.

Somewhere, there's a black female rapper named "Susan".


That would bring balance to the universe.
 
2012-11-24 01:18:33 PM
I wouldn't do her with Ron Jeremy's dick.
 
2012-11-24 01:22:47 PM
If there was a contest to see who could have their dick melted off the fastest and the prize was $10,000,000, I would hit it.
 
2012-11-24 01:29:41 PM

titwrench: So roughly translated the record company realized she wasn't selling a lot of tickets and the numbers came in and she is doing well amongst stupid teenage girls. Record company to Ke$ha- "How are we going to tap into the brain dead teen boy market?" Ke$ha's response-"I could make them think I am going to bone them all."

Step 3. Profit


This. This article was planted to promote her tour/CD. The last sentence is evidence enough for that.
 
2012-11-24 01:36:15 PM
And so backstage a gangbang with triple penetration takes place and then the videos get on the internet and so on...
 
2012-11-24 01:50:03 PM

ZeroCorpse: If you could somehow capture the essence of her vagina and weaponize it, you'd have an effective defense against tasteful men everywhere.



*favorites ZeroCorpse = green #2 = captioned "weaponized ke$ha vagina essence"*
 
2012-11-24 01:54:16 PM
Nope - not for me - probably catch a venereal disease - Kadollara - and probably resistant to penicillin!
 
2012-11-24 02:04:21 PM
i486.photobucket.com
 
2012-11-24 02:25:29 PM
cdn.stripersonline.com
 
2012-11-24 02:30:00 PM
I don't care what you farkers say, I'll !@#$# Ke$ha in all her frumpy hotness. First I'll start by !@#$ing her !@#$ in the !@#$ with a big !@#$ing @#%$. After that, she can !@#$ my !@#$ while !@#$ing a !@#$ with !@#$ in her !@#$ while another !@#$, !@#$s a !@#$ with a !@#$.
 
2012-11-24 02:41:37 PM
Funny thing is, if she was like a coworker, or someone I'd occasionally see at the grocery store, I might be thinking: "I'd hit that, maybe."

Except she's Kesha, and that makes my cloaca close up in its armored shell.
 
2012-11-24 03:07:01 PM
Call me when it's Bethany from Best Coast.
 
2012-11-24 03:07:48 PM
If you Live every night like you're gonna die young...You probably will.
 
2012-11-24 03:10:33 PM

JerkyMeat: If you Live every night like you're gonna die young...You probably will.


No. The musicians you want to live forever die at 27. The musicians you want to die now live forever.

Ke$ha is 25. Let's hope there are enough people who love her to cause her to die in 2 years.
 
2012-11-24 03:22:09 PM
Thanks for the favorite. I hope not to disappoint you. Just remember all my posts have essentially the same tone and context and you'll save yourself from having conniptions over how much of an ass I am.

/Even I can admit that jokes at Kedollarha's expense are low-hanging fruit.
//You know what else is low hanging when it comes to Kedollarha?
 
2012-11-24 03:22:35 PM

styckx: Hey men, this could be all yours!!

[i.imgur.com image 580x526]

Meanwhile, at the line..

[i.imgur.com image 640x432]


Oh hell, why not? I'll get in line, just to say I did.
 
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