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(Gawker)   Dear Caity: Is it okay to stick a piece of honey-ham to my semi-alert grandpa's head?   (gawker.com) divider line 44
    More: Amusing, semi-trailer trucks, grandfather  
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4637 clicks; posted to Main » on 23 Nov 2012 at 2:52 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



44 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2012-11-23 01:08:55 PM
OK..... I can understand when 70 year old Dear Abby doesn't know she is being trolled, but, an internet columnist, really?
 
2012-11-23 02:53:03 PM
Sure, as long as you don't mind being cut from the will.
 
2012-11-23 02:56:23 PM
In before:
TEABAG GRANDPA!
 
2012-11-23 02:58:18 PM
Let's eat Grampa!
 
2012-11-23 02:58:33 PM
As a grandparent (hopefully many years off dementia though) I'm okay with this. You forgive your grandkids a lot. They're just being kids. And if they grow up thinking this sort of thing is acceptable, that's their parents fault. Ah grandparenting. All the responsibility of being a parent with none of the responsibility.
 
2012-11-23 03:02:39 PM
www.theghostess.com
 
2012-11-23 03:03:58 PM
Not if he's a muslim.
 
2012-11-23 03:04:22 PM
I am always nice to my Grandparents, because I know they will soon be dead...and I guarantee they're going to watch me from the afterlife like a hawk to make sure I don't masturbate. Some goodwill now will hopefully buy me a few minutes of alone time in the future.
 
2012-11-23 03:05:16 PM

uncleacid: Not PARTICULARLY if he's a muslim.

/ftfy
 
2012-11-23 03:07:27 PM
Seriously? TELL someone you are going to try and stick ham to them all day? That's the best (and worst) she can come up with?
 
2012-11-23 03:08:04 PM

uncleacid: Not if he's a muslim.


So you're saying the terrorists have won?
 
2012-11-23 03:08:07 PM
Maybe if the loser has to change g-pa's Depends, let's make this holiday tradition interesting.
 
2012-11-23 03:08:07 PM

dletter: OK..... I can understand when 70 year old Dear Abby doesn't know she is being trolled, but, an internet columnist, really?


THIS.


I want my 2 minutes back.
 
2012-11-23 03:10:14 PM
I know this is an obvious troll of the intertubes, but just the mere thought of this gave me a sad. My gramps was the same way, but he never sat at the kid's table, and we never would have even joked about disrespecting him that way.

/ok, alcohol must be kicking in, morose is not my style
//and sitting at the kid's table is AWESOME. I did yesterday to help ride herd on the little bastids darlings, and the table was covered in brown kraft paper and there was a big box of crayons in the middle!
 
2012-11-23 03:11:22 PM
What about those jellied slices of cranberry sauce? Mashed potatoes? Maybe the old guy was a horrible, mean-spirited dick in his younger days and now that he's old and can't do anything about it, revenge is now at hand.
 
2012-11-23 03:14:07 PM
Honeybaked ham - sure.

Taylor Ham - BLASPHEMY!
cdn.stripersonline.com
 
2012-11-23 03:15:21 PM
They were no kid's tables at last night's dinner. 25 people aged 28-35. I love my family but this year was my first Thanksgiving away from them and it was great. Big group of people with no family in town.
 
2012-11-23 03:17:26 PM
...even though most of my cousins and myself are in our 30's, we're forced to sit at the kids' table.
To pass the time, my cousins and I play a game called "ham on the head" with him, where one of us tries to take a piece of honey-slick ham and stick it to his head without him noticing it.


Sounds like you're at the right table. shiat, you're lucky they don't put you out in the yard with the dog that scoots around on its ass. But then the dog would be complaining.
 
2012-11-23 03:17:54 PM

mcwehrle: //and sitting at the kid's table is AWESOME. I did yesterday to help ride herd on the little bastids darlings, and the table was covered in brown kraft paper and there was a big box of crayons in the middle!


This. I didn't get to sit at the kid's table yesterday and that gave me a sad. That table had a blast.
 
2012-11-23 03:19:10 PM

TheMega: Seriously? TELL someone you are going to try and stick ham to them all day? That's the best (and worst) she can come up with?


See, I'm thinking they should set it up as some kind of Assassin-style game: everyone puts their names in a hat, then draws a name at random (if you draw your own name, draw again and then put your name back). The name you draw becomes your target, and you must stick ham onto them at some point over the course of the day. If you do, your target is out, you inherit their target, and the game continues. Last un-hammed person wins.
 
2012-11-23 03:20:15 PM
Dear Caity: Is it ok to lick gummi bears and stick them all over the person that passes out at a party first? It's become kind of a tradition at our place.
/we did that to a dude once, he was so colorful
 
2012-11-23 03:22:44 PM

Millennium: TheMega: Seriously? TELL someone you are going to try and stick ham to them all day? That's the best (and worst) she can come up with?

See, I'm thinking they should set it up as some kind of Assassin-style game: everyone puts their names in a hat, then draws a name at random (if you draw your own name, draw again and then put your name back). The name you draw becomes your target, and you must stick ham onto them at some point over the course of the day. If you do, your target is out, you inherit their target, and the game continues. Last un-hammed person wins.


I forfeit. Pile all the ham on my head that you want while I'm napping. I'll wake up to a tasty snack.
 
2012-11-23 03:23:30 PM

Doctor Funkenstein: mcwehrle: //and sitting at the kid's table is AWESOME. I did yesterday to help ride herd on the little bastids darlings, and the table was covered in brown kraft paper and there was a big box of crayons in the middle!

This. I didn't get to sit at the kid's table yesterday and that gave me a sad. That table had a blast.


Totally! Nothing is as cool as showing a 2 year old how to make the "trace your hand, LOOK YOU MADE A TURKEY" or having a 4 year old tell you that you didn't put "the fire things that make it fly up" under the rocket ship.

I had a fantastic time.
 
2012-11-23 03:23:35 PM
What if sticking ham on grandpa is the only way to get the dog to like him?
 
2012-11-23 03:24:32 PM

blatz514: [www.theghostess.com image 600x520]


That is so awesome! I wanna do that for our Christmas spread this year.

/every day is Halloween for some of us
//my family sorta understands
 
2012-11-23 03:24:52 PM

Millennium: TheMega: Seriously? TELL someone you are going to try and stick ham to them all day? That's the best (and worst) she can come up with?

See, I'm thinking they should set it up as some kind of Assassin-style game: everyone puts their names in a hat, then draws a name at random (if you draw your own name, draw again and then put your name back). The name you draw becomes your target, and you must stick ham onto them at some point over the course of the day. If you do, your target is out, you inherit their target, and the game continues. Last un-hammed person wins.


I'm so stealing this for christmas dinner. there's more drinking then anyway. :)
 
2012-11-23 03:33:11 PM
img109.imageshack.us

Old age and treachery always overcome youth and skill.
 
2012-11-23 03:35:09 PM

blatz514: [www.theghostess.com image 600x520]


i975.photobucket.com
 
2012-11-23 03:37:55 PM

gunther_bumpass: blatz514: [www.theghostess.com image 600x520]

[i975.photobucket.com image 640x480]


WTF do you guys GIS to find that shiat?????

/not entirely sure I want to know.....
 
2012-11-23 03:41:24 PM

bingethinker: What if sticking ham on grandpa is the only way to get the dog to like him?


What, you don't have a jar of peanut butter around? You gotta waste perfectly good ham when a dollop of Skippy would do?
 
2012-11-23 03:42:08 PM

mcwehrle: gunther_bumpass: blatz514: [www.theghostess.com image 600x520]

[i975.photobucket.com image 640x480]

WTF do you guys GIS to find that shiat?????

/not entirely sure I want to know.....


Martha Stewart, cold cuts and GIMP, honkey!
 
2012-11-23 03:42:24 PM

mcwehrle: gunther_bumpass: blatz514: [www.theghostess.com image 600x520]

[i975.photobucket.com image 640x480]

WTF do you guys GIS to find that shiat?????

/not entirely sure I want to know.....


LOL. I gloogled "ham head."
 
2012-11-23 03:58:26 PM
What a waste of perfectly good ham. :-(
 
2012-11-23 04:03:32 PM
Sticking food to the face of a demented old fark.
Sounds like FUN!
Now why din't I think of that?
 
2012-11-23 04:05:57 PM

gunther_bumpass: mcwehrle: gunther_bumpass: blatz514: [www.theghostess.com image 600x520]

[i975.photobucket.com image 640x480]

WTF do you guys GIS to find that shiat?????

/not entirely sure I want to know.....

Martha Stewart, cold cuts and GIMP, honkey!


blatz514: mcwehrle: gunther_bumpass: blatz514: [www.theghostess.com image 600x520]

[i975.photobucket.com image 640x480]

WTF do you guys GIS to find that shiat?????

/not entirely sure I want to know.....

LOL. I gloogled "ham head."


heh.

*makes note*

NEVER GOOGLE HAM HEAD OR MARTHA STEWART COLD CUTS.

I haz no GIMP/Shop skillz, so safe there.
 
2012-11-23 04:31:16 PM
Why does the term "honey-slick ham" conjure up images of TFettes masturbating?
 
2012-11-23 04:32:00 PM

Whiskey Dickens: Why does the term "honey-slick ham" conjure up images of TFettes masturbating?


ohdeargawd
 
2012-11-23 04:37:33 PM

mcwehrle: Whiskey Dickens: Why does the term "honey-slick ham" conjure up images of TFettes masturbating?

ohdeargawd


and off to google I go..
 
2012-11-23 04:38:13 PM

Sharkster: What about those jellied slices of cranberry sauce? Mashed potatoes? Maybe the old guy was a horrible, mean-spirited dick in his younger days and now that he's old and can't do anything about it, revenge is now at hand.


I had a grandfather who was... well... let's just say it wouldn't have even been possible to disrespect him at the level he probably deserved to be disrespected. He died when I was little. I would have played the ham game on him if I had gotten the chance, though.
 
2012-11-23 04:42:25 PM

Chinchillazilla: Sharkster: What about those jellied slices of cranberry sauce? Mashed potatoes? Maybe the old guy was a horrible, mean-spirited dick in his younger days and now that he's old and can't do anything about it, revenge is now at hand.

I had a grandfather who was... well... let's just say it wouldn't have even been possible to disrespect him at the level he probably deserved to be disrespected. He died when I was little. I would have played the ham game on him if I had gotten the chance, though.


In all fairness, although not in my family, I know people whose grandparents were nasty evil people even before they got old, and when they got old they were worse. Sometimes, when I see a very old person like...waiting on the bus in the cold, or alone in a mall with their walker or whatever, I feel sad that they have no one with them. Then the bad part of my brain pipes up with "but what if they have been total fark evil persons their whole life and no one loves them because of their own choices?".

I really really try not to listen to that part of my brain. I've had enough drama, I don't need to manufacture it.

/apropos of nothing
//kinda drunk and bored on a day off
 
2012-11-23 04:48:09 PM
I shall support this game.

There should be basic governing rules that can be altered by region.
 
2012-11-23 04:55:23 PM

Chinchillazilla: Sharkster: What about those jellied slices of cranberry sauce? Mashed potatoes? Maybe the old guy was a horrible, mean-spirited dick in his younger days and now that he's old and can't do anything about it, revenge is now at hand.

I had a grandfather who was... well... let's just say it wouldn't have even been possible to disrespect him at the level he probably deserved to be disrespected. He died when I was little. I would have played the ham game on him if I had gotten the chance, though.


My grandpa was awesome, but I never spent a lot of time around him. It can be kind of expensive to ship your kids off to Scandinavia every summer just to visit their grandparents and other relatives. However, there is a reason I call psycho uncle what I do. If for some odd reason I ever find myself in Norway and he's in that kind of condition, I would not waste the food on that evil bastid. I'd invent the "let's see if semi aware psycho uncle can escape any natural predators of which I swear I was totally unaware, officer" game.

/he's the only person I've ever wanted to truly hurt
//I hear Norwegian prisons are very nice, though
 
2012-11-23 06:09:19 PM

Apos: dletter: OK..... I can understand when 70 year old Dear Abby doesn't know she is being trolled, but, an internet columnist, really?

THIS.


I want my 2 minutes back.


Not a chance
You went in knowing the risk
 
2012-11-23 06:46:06 PM

mcwehrle: I had a grandfather who was... well... let's just say it wouldn't have even been possible to disrespect him at the level he probably deserved to be disrespected. He died when I was little. I would have played the ham game on him if I had gotten the chance, though.


I never knew my grandfathers, but knowing me I would have taken the game too far. Probably would have tried to cover up someone's whole face with a big piece.
 
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