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(The Sun)   Thirty-two-year-old hottie: I've had five kids, eat 5,000 calories of junk food a day...and look like THIS (w/pics)   (thesun.co.uk) divider line 127
    More: Spiffy, carbs  
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32855 clicks; posted to Main » on 23 Nov 2012 at 12:41 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-11-23 01:07:55 PM  

WhippingBoy: AdolfOliverPanties: FARK.com: where gorgeous celebrity women are denigrated for any slight physical flaws, but non-celebrity ugly she-beasts are considered hotties.

You're new here, aren't you?

Everyone else knows that when they see the word "hottie" in the headline that they should expect a horrific train wreck.


I'm just amazed that we get this every thread. How does everyone not know this by now?
 
2012-11-23 01:08:08 PM  
It's almost like the Sun has some kind of lowbrow society-sponging skank cliche they want to promote.
 
2012-11-23 01:09:38 PM  
Too many teeth.
 
2012-11-23 01:12:03 PM  

feckingmorons: It gives to bad tattoos, greasy hair and prominent teeth?

I'd cut back if I were she.


Came here to post a Tila Tequila-like tag.
 
2012-11-23 01:12:34 PM  
Skinny doesn't fix fugly.

What an unfortunate looking woman
 
2012-11-23 01:13:08 PM  
1.bp.blogspot.com 

dfuse.us
 
2012-11-23 01:13:08 PM  
So let's see...

Hyperthyroidism could be the cause. Or perhaps her body isn't actually absorbing the calories for whatever reason. Maybe she's a drug addict.

Or maybe, just maybe, this is all pretend bullshiat printed in a tabloid like The Sun.

Oh, hey! Lookit that! It's in The Sun!

/yeah, prolly fake as hell
//although I do have two coworkers who suffer from hypothyroidism, and their thyroid medication makes them eat like Mr. Creosote while not gaining a pound
 
2012-11-23 01:15:16 PM  
British Pretty...
 
2012-11-23 01:18:36 PM  
Ride The Snake
 
2012-11-23 01:18:54 PM  

Five Tails of Fury: Tr0mBoNe: Tape worm.

I'm calling anorexia over tapeworm. With all that crap she's eating, the worm would've died of obesity by now.


I`m calling bulimia on this one. It`s amazing how much you can eat and stay thin when the first thing you do is throw it up in the toilet.

Does she smell slightly of vomit all the time?
 
2012-11-23 01:25:28 PM  

cryinoutloud: Too bad about the ugly tats. Maybe she should stop popping out kids and have her thyroid checked.


5 kids by age 32 is nothing to be proud of IMHO.
no stretch marks and saggy bits?
already been done...what else she got to make me jealous?
I see nothing...

You may be right on with your thyroid suggestion.
3 kids, 103 lbs, no stretch marks or saggy bits,
"Doc, I is the exhausted and can't gain weight? Wassup with that?"
Blood tested, Thyroid quit. Who knew?
Under active thyroid is more complex than I thought.
 
2012-11-23 01:26:07 PM  
husband is a body builder
5 kids
lots of tats
how is she losing weight?

probably doing bedroom gymnastics five times a week. hey, it's a great workout if you're doing it right.
 
2012-11-23 01:26:36 PM  

no_tan_lines: cryinoutloud: Too bad about the ugly tats. Maybe she should stop popping out kids and have her thyroid checked.

5 kids by age 32 is nothing to be proud of IMHO.
no stretch marks and saggy bits?
already been done...what else she got to make me jealous?
I see nothing...

You may be right on with your thyroid suggestion.
3 kids, 103 lbs, no stretch marks or saggy bits,
"Doc, I is the exhausted and can't gain weight? Wassup with that?"
Blood tested, Thyroid quit. Who knew?
Under active thyroid is more complex than I thought.


Your poem sucks.
 
2012-11-23 01:29:09 PM  
Shockingly, Julie also guzzles at least six cans of Coke A DAY

Could explain those teeth.

Oh, she's British? Never mind.
 
2012-11-23 01:29:55 PM  
Articles posted here from The Sun used to be somewhat outrageous. Now they're just "meh." I'm sure the mother wants to get paid, and all, but couldn't they have come up with a better story?
 
2012-11-23 01:31:32 PM  
i47.tinypic.com
 
2012-11-23 01:35:03 PM  
She keeps using the word metabolism. The resting metabolisms of humans do not vary with much standard deviation from the mean. If she actually had a fast metabolism, it would manifest itself in something. She'd be twitching constantly, or running a fever. Energy cannot be created or destroyed; it has to go somewhere. I think a much more likely explanation would be that she has some weird mutation that causes food to go right through her with only a small fraction of it being absorbed through her intestines.
 
2012-11-23 01:36:57 PM  

Tommy Moo: She keeps using the word metabolism. The resting metabolisms of humans do not vary with much standard deviation from the mean. If she actually had a fast metabolism, it would manifest itself in something. She'd be twitching constantly, or running a fever. Energy cannot be created or destroyed; it has to go somewhere. I think a much more likely explanation would be that she has some weird mutation that causes food to go right through her with only a small fraction of it being absorbed through her intestines.


That *would* explain the smell.
 
2012-11-23 01:38:00 PM  
She's England-hot.
 
2012-11-23 01:38:30 PM  

traylor: Unavailable for comment

[img2.ranker.com image 426x426]


Lol... Is that the biatch stole my fish boy? Does he always have that look on his face?
 
2012-11-23 01:38:36 PM  
She reminds me of the Kashi spokeswoman. Link, sorry about the quality
 
2012-11-23 01:41:09 PM  

AdolfOliverPanties: FARK.com: where gorgeous celebrity women are denigrated for any slight physical flaws, but non-celebrity ugly she-beasts are considered hotties.


/ So much THIS ^
// Some of you - a lot of you actually - need to visit Thailand.
 
2012-11-23 01:43:47 PM  

Abe Vigoda's Ghost: [i47.tinypic.com image 600x896]


for the love of all that's bacon, STOP THAT!!

*shudder*
 
2012-11-23 01:47:03 PM  
giant foreheads, giant foreheads everywhere...
 
2012-11-23 01:47:16 PM  

EnigmaBurn: AdolfOliverPanties: FARK.com: where gorgeous celebrity women are denigrated for any slight physical flaws, but non-celebrity ugly she-beasts are considered hotties.

/ So much THIS ^
// Some of you - a lot of you actually - need to visit Thailand.


Listen very carefully. NOBODY considers this woman to be "hot". It's a long standing Fark meme that using "hot" in the headline means that the article contains unspeakable horrors (as this one does).
 
2012-11-23 01:48:20 PM  
Holy Hell! It's Brian Warner with boobs!
pedraenxuta.files.wordpress.com
img.thesun.co.uk
 
2012-11-23 01:54:27 PM  
Yet again I fall for Fark's cruel joke use of the word HOTTIE.
 
2012-11-23 02:01:33 PM  
All I can say is that on the occasions I do stuff my maw with junk food, I feel really crappy for a bit afterward. When I stick to a nutrient-dense, non-junk-food diet, I feel really good. At this point for me, it isn't about weight or being slim, but feeling really good.
 
2012-11-23 02:06:19 PM  
Keep it up girls! One more set!
Now binge... and purge... and binge... and purge... Keep going, there's still a shred of fried chicken lodged in your rotted out softdrink-teeth!
5... 6... 7... 8!
 
2012-11-23 02:29:16 PM  
An ugly chav with bulimia and 5 fugly kids?

Where do I sign up for a piece of that action?
 
2012-11-23 02:40:39 PM  

AdolfOliverPanties: FARK.com: where gorgeous celebrity women are denigrated for any slight physical flaws, but non-celebrity ugly she-beasts are considered hotties.


This.

And seriously, she can give herself diabetes or a heart attack even being rail thin. Be grateful for what you're blessed with, lady!

Besides, I think a good hot helping of comfort food like shepherds pie or something might put more meat on her bones than junk. Junk isn't food.
 
2012-11-23 02:46:31 PM  

Tommy Moo: She keeps using the word metabolism. The resting metabolisms of humans do not vary with much standard deviation from the mean. If she actually had a fast metabolism, it would manifest itself in something. She'd be twitching constantly, or running a fever. Energy cannot be created or destroyed; it has to go somewhere. I think a much more likely explanation would be that she has some weird mutation that causes food to go right through her with only a small fraction of it being absorbed through her intestines.


Also, she could be 100% playing it up, in order to appear in the Sun.

Regardless, if she eats 5000 calories/day then she must sh*t like a horse. And trust me, I'm a bit of an expert when it comes to this.

/just sayin'
 
2012-11-23 02:51:15 PM  

DeltaPunch:
Regardless, if she eats 5000 calories/day then she must sh*t like a horse. And trust me, I'm a bit of an expert when it comes to this.

/just sayin'


Shiat like a horse? Like, while walking without slowing down? That'd account for a few extra calories not spent sitting on the can...
 
2012-11-23 02:51:17 PM  

The Gordie Howe Hat Trick: Ride The Snake


BEST SNL SKIT EVER. Good one.
 
2012-11-23 02:54:17 PM  
It's called the ectomorphic body type. This is not an uncommon phenomenon.

Link
 
2012-11-23 03:07:24 PM  

L.D. Ablo: RobertBruce: so... study the metabolism and figure out how to put ours in high gear.

Meth.


Cigarettes, you can see a pack on the table behind her with one of those huge black and white "Smoking Kills" stickers the Brits stick on the packs. If she quits those she will balloon.
 
2012-11-23 03:11:53 PM  

WhippingBoy: EnigmaBurn: AdolfOliverPanties: FARK.com: where gorgeous celebrity women are denigrated for any slight physical flaws, but non-celebrity ugly she-beasts are considered hotties.

/ So much THIS ^
// Some of you - a lot of you actually - need to visit Thailand.

Listen very carefully. NOBODY considers this woman to be "hot". It's a long standing Fark meme that using "hot" in the headline means that the article contains unspeakable horrors (as this one does).


Thank you for the point of order sir. I was worried. Even being a pretty long time Farker, residing on the other side of the planet can skew my view on memes.
 
2012-11-23 03:20:00 PM  

Mach10: DeltaPunch:
Regardless, if she eats 5000 calories/day then she must sh*t like a horse. And trust me, I'm a bit of an expert when it comes to this.

/just sayin'

Shiat like a horse? Like, while walking without slowing down? That'd account for a few extra calories not spent sitting on the can...


That's right... walking, trotting, running -- even some light dancing -- none of these activities impede her from being able to top off her sh*tbag.
 
2012-11-23 03:24:43 PM  
Thinness doesn't hide the ugly.
 
2012-11-23 03:29:54 PM  
So that's what Skeletor looks like with skin on.
 
2012-11-23 03:30:08 PM  

Shazam999: I know a girl like that, she has a smoking hot body even though she popped out two kids. Washboard abs, totally tight butt. Unfortunately she is one hell of a butterface.


Yeah...but that ain't no thing to you is it? You sound like you bang a new Victorias Secret model every other week....lol

douche

 
2012-11-23 03:32:38 PM  
Looks like she has digestive issues or her body is incapable of dealing with sugar (Diabetis).
 
2012-11-23 03:36:47 PM  
I'm going to admit to having this problem. It is a sad problem to have when all you want to do is gain weight. Then you put up with the loads of people telling you they wish they were your size. No, you don't. It's a frustrating problem.
 
2012-11-23 03:39:06 PM  
worms
 
2012-11-23 03:39:39 PM  
I'd be intrigued to know if her or her father's intestinal flora are substantially different from the general population.
 
2012-11-23 03:42:30 PM  
Abe Vigoda's Ghost:

i47.tinypic.com


I believe I have seen her husband some where... but where... oh yes, I remember now...


25.media.tumblr.com
 
2012-11-23 03:43:43 PM  

AbiNormal: Holy Hell! It's Brian Warner with boobs!
[pedraenxuta.files.wordpress.com image 382x500]
[img.thesun.co.uk image 620x926]


I'm pretty sure Brian Warner is Brian Warner with boobs.
 
2012-11-23 03:49:53 PM  

AbiNormal: Holy Hell! It's Brian Warner with boobs!
[pedraenxuta.files.wordpress.com image 382x500]
[img.thesun.co.uk image 620x926]


No, Brian Warner has a better nose. Probably also has better teeth.
 
2012-11-23 04:02:46 PM  
Yikes. This lady probably changes the oil in her car with what comes out of her pores from all the garbage she's ingesting.
 
2012-11-23 04:09:38 PM  

Hugemeister: Shazam999: I know a girl like that, she has a smoking hot body even though she popped out two kids. Washboard abs, totally tight butt. Unfortunately she is one hell of a butterface.

Yeah...but that ain't no thing to you is it? You sound like you bang a new Victorias Secret model every other week....loldouche


Uuuh, what? You must have me confused with someone else. I mention my wife, that's it.

Are you a chick with a hot bod and an ugly face? Well, whatever, someone will still love you, and will still want to plaster your face with their cum.
 
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