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(Foobies)   Police call body found shot in the head, tied up in a sack, and floating in a river, a "complex suicide"   (thelocal.de) divider line 16
    More: Fail, police calls, Mafia, EU summit, zip ties, Freudian, refugee camps, suicides, German School of Guayaquil  
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6987 clicks; posted to Main » on 23 Nov 2012 at 1:02 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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Archived thread
2012-11-23 01:24:54 PM  
4 votes:
FTA: " "It just goes to show, there is nothing that does not exist," the police spokeswoman said."

Now there's a quotable quote.
2012-11-23 02:34:04 PM  
3 votes:
Today, I'm going to work on drawing up a suicide plan so complex and far-reaching that entire governments will be wrongly implicated. How did my head end up in the diplomatic pouch at the U.S. Interests section of the Swiss embassy in Havana? Why was the bullet in my torso an exact ballistic match for the gun that killed President Garfield? Just who was it that built the plywood forms and poured the concrete blocks that contained each of my hands, and then arranged for them to be formally entered into evidence in the ongoing trial of a high-profile mafia don? And why do the mysterious radioactive isotopes that emanate faintly from my various body parts match no known spectrographic profile?

I mean, I hope I don't have to use it, but I'd want to have the satisfaction of knowing it was going to fark with everybody's head.
2012-11-23 01:33:30 PM  
3 votes:

ltdanman44: where is the gun? Without it, you can't call this a suicide


s9.postimage.org
2012-11-23 01:12:23 PM  
3 votes:
i.imgur.com

What can I say? The guy locked himself in the trunk and shot himself 12 times.
2012-11-23 02:01:42 PM  
2 votes:
images.contactmusic.com
Are they sure he didn't fall down an elevator shaft onto some bullets as well?
2012-11-23 01:21:36 PM  
2 votes:
farm2.staticflickr.com

VEE DO NAHT HAVE A CRIME PROBLEM, ZIS IS MERELY A VERY COMPLEX SUICIDE. I WILL HEAR NO FURTHER ACCUZATIONS ABOUT ZE GERMAN PEOPLE! NUSSING BAD EVER HAPPENED!
2012-11-23 01:16:24 PM  
2 votes:
Maybe he pissed off Hillary Clinton
2012-11-24 05:56:08 PM  
1 votes:
Nice to see that the mob keeps the cops there so well paid.
2012-11-23 03:54:57 PM  
1 votes:
Where is Dirk Gently when you need him?
2012-11-23 03:11:12 PM  
1 votes:
Now that is some maximum trolling if the guy really ofed himself.
2012-11-23 03:09:16 PM  
1 votes:
He made someone mad at him. Here in Ankh-Morpork, we call that "suicide."

/I never wanted to live in Ankh-Morpork
//sadly, it seems there's nowhere else left to live
2012-11-23 02:55:53 PM  
1 votes:

semiotix: Dansker: semiotix: Today, I'm going to work...

I, for one, salute your efforts, even if nobody should publicly advocate, endorse or associate with such a plan/scheme/undertaking.

You fool! You just became the only patsy I need.

(Mods, please delete this post if and when I kick off, so as to implicate Dansker.)


Aw, crap, not again!
2012-11-23 02:28:33 PM  
1 votes:
Reminds me of some comedian years ago who was reading newspaper clippings, and one was a suicide where a guy shot himself 7 times with a single shot bolt action rifle!
2012-11-23 01:29:11 PM  
1 votes:
The last sentence:"The investigation has been put on ice, but the case remains open."

HAHAHAHA! Awesome. even the author couldn't resist a joke.
2012-11-23 01:07:46 PM  
1 votes:
Apparently the guy really had it in for himself.
DAR [TotalFark]
2012-11-23 12:56:00 PM  
1 votes:
That's Some Damn Fine Police Work, Lou........k/dar
 
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