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(Gizmodo)   MinutePhysics asks, "When you sit down, does your ass actually touch the chair?" Actually manages to answer the question without a cat, a kitchen counter, a tube of lipstick, and a helpful Fark admin   (gizmodo.com) divider line 37
    More: Interesting, countertops, cats  
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4435 clicks; posted to Geek » on 23 Nov 2012 at 6:36 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



37 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2012-11-23 01:04:43 AM
Many sex offenders could use this ingenious defense.
 
2012-11-23 01:20:20 AM
Electrons in your ass and in the chair repell one another


*click*

Yep. Even I knew the answer and I'm an idiot.
 
2012-11-23 01:40:23 AM
Ass electrons, huh?
 
2012-11-23 02:15:14 AM
But what about the slats in the chair, Subby?

WHAT ABOUT THE SLATS???
 
2012-11-23 03:44:37 AM

Amos Quito: But what about the slats in the chair, Subby?

WHAT ABOUT THE SLATS???


It proves your ass is both a particle and a wave.
 
2012-11-23 04:04:11 AM
My cloth of finely spun gold, only awesome people can see it, separates my bottom cheeks from any furniture. Good day to you.
 
2012-11-23 06:39:42 AM

Kittypie070: Ass electrons, huh?


Yep, you go around, covalently bonding atoms all day... with my ass electrons, every time.
 
2012-11-23 06:46:26 AM
Where does ass sweat come into play?
 
2012-11-23 06:50:59 AM
More importantly, does it touch the oil?
 
2012-11-23 06:58:44 AM
It never occurred to me what a rich ass history fark has.

/sweet-ass-car.jpg
 
2012-11-23 07:49:23 AM
Retarded application of the word touch.

Nothing touches anything except for protons and neutrons in an atoms nucleus.
 
2012-11-23 07:51:42 AM
farkin' physicists have discovered the curse of philosophy: semantics. There'll be no peace now.
 
2012-11-23 07:53:23 AM
Fast talking guy with a squeaky voice. Really credible.
 
2012-11-23 08:07:40 AM
Fark has taught me that your balls definitely touch the chair.
 
2012-11-23 08:25:26 AM

MurphyMurphy: Retarded application of the word touch.

Nothing touches anything except for protons and neutrons in an atoms nucleus.


nope
 
2012-11-23 08:46:00 AM

sithon: Amos Quito: But what about the slats in the chair, Subby?

WHAT ABOUT THE SLATS???

It proves your ass is both a particle and a wave.


My booty is a wave?

/ Ducks
 
2012-11-23 08:46:15 AM
Yes, it does touch the chair on Thanksgiving.
 
2012-11-23 09:06:22 AM
But I poop from there......
 
2012-11-23 09:18:43 AM

sexorcisst: Where does ass sweat come into play?


Lube. Definitely lube.
 
2012-11-23 09:38:34 AM
So, now your annoying brother can actually punch you while saying "I'm not touching you".
 
2012-11-23 09:57:02 AM
MinutePsychics know, but can't tell you without changing the answer.
 
2012-11-23 10:01:56 AM

crab66: But I poop from there......


If that's all you're using it for, you're wasting it.
 
2012-11-23 10:02:33 AM
Only when my pants are off.
 
2012-11-23 10:13:31 AM

BarkingUnicorn: Many sex offenders could use this ingenious defense.



Yes, ma'am, I know you think that someone in this elevator smacked your bottom, and seeing as I am the only other person in this elevator, then it had to have been me, but I can prove scientifically that it could not have been me and that no one has actually touched you.



/ Now if you'll excuse me, I have a crowded subway to ride.
 
2012-11-23 10:22:10 AM
Wait - if I have electrons all over my ass how come it doesn't shoot exploding fireballs when I fart?
I feel really letdown right now.
 
2012-11-23 10:44:06 AM

MurphyMurphy: Retarded application of the word touch.

Nothing touches anything except for protons and neutrons in an atoms nucleus.


Protons and neutrons in the nucleus behave much like electrons in that they have quantized energy levels and should be treated as waves instead of discrete, localized particles. So if we don't count wavefunction overlap as "touching", then they don't touch either. If we do, then electrons "touch" all the time, and your ass is definitely "touching" the chair, as long as you aren't wearing any pants. In which case, put some damn pants on.
 
2012-11-23 10:50:10 AM
if one object is wet and the other is dry -- touching can be defined as the point at which water would transfer from one object to another.

trying to say "you don't actually touch" or "touch's definition is useless" is missing the point of language and communication.
 
2012-11-23 11:01:15 AM
So the cat's ass never touches the counter with or without lipstick.
 
2012-11-23 11:04:52 AM

maxx2112: BarkingUnicorn: Many sex offenders could use this ingenious defense.


Yes, ma'am, I know you think that someone in this elevator smacked your bottom, and seeing as I am the only other person in this elevator, then it had to have been me, but I can prove scientifically that it could not have been me and that no one has actually touched you.



/ Now if you'll excuse me, I have a crowded subway to ride.


fortunately for justice, a battery exists when you set in motion that which does the tangible harm. so, no matter whose electrons are up to no good, you started it.
 
2012-11-23 11:11:34 AM
I've been putting electrons in my ass for years. If you use electrons, chances are you've gotten one of my ass electrons.
 
2012-11-23 12:42:26 PM

No Such Agency: Kittypie070: Ass electrons, huh?

Yep, you go around, covalently bonding atoms all day... with my ass electrons, every time.


i105.photobucket.com
 
2012-11-23 01:24:23 PM

oryx: Fast talking guy with a squeaky voice. Really credible.


Actually he's quite credible, and Minute Physics is pretty well-known, along with Vi Hart, CGP Grey, etc.

And for those who didn't actually spend the minute to watch to the end of the video--because it's obvious in the comments above that most people didn't--the answer is "It depends on your definition of 'touch,' which isn't a word that can be easily defined by physics."
 
2012-11-23 01:33:07 PM
Ass electrons
+ Ass pennies
_______________
Endless energy
 
2012-11-23 01:54:02 PM
Remove pants, under garments, sit on wicker chair...observe wicker pattern on ass. Your ass was touching the chair.
 
2012-11-23 06:14:17 PM
i.imgur.com

sooooo.......many......ass electrons....
 
2012-11-24 01:12:41 PM
Short answer

no

Long answer

Noooooooooooooooo

Otherwise we would all be as dense as neutron stars (at least)
 
2012-11-24 01:13:23 PM
Mine doesn`t touch the chair because I wear pants though...
 
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