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(Slate)   It's Thanksgiving, so let's not fight today and just all agree that turkey white meat is a bland, tasteless, cardboard-like substance that nobody really enjoys and we all secretly crave the dark. And if you take the last leg, I WILL CUT YOU   (slate.com) divider line 136
    More: Obvious, Ron Rosenbaum, white-breads, scrambled eggs, Fairfield County, boobs, zucchini, nutritional value, porkchops  
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2159 clicks; posted to Main » on 22 Nov 2012 at 2:41 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-11-22 04:29:48 PM
What are you people doing to your taste buds that leads you to insist that you can't taste the flavor of turkey?

I've spent the last decade killing my taste buds with cigarettes and liquor and I still love the delicate flavor of properly cooked turkey.

/pack a day smoker
 
2012-11-22 04:31:21 PM
Slabs of white meat, mayo, fresh ground black pepper, on sourdough.
Dinner will be good tonight, turkey sandwiches starting tomorrow will be better.
 
2012-11-22 04:37:08 PM

turdley: demaL-demaL-yeH: CruJones: There is also no reason you can't have a turkey and a Honeybaked Ham.

I'm Jewish.

Me too. We only eat ham on Easter.
/Seriously. My dad's thing. 
//Steak this year for Thanksgiving.


[not_sure_if_serious.jpg]

Two of my sibliings were born sourdoughs. 'Fess up: You voted for Palin.
 
2012-11-22 04:40:13 PM
Once you go black, you never go back?
 
2012-11-22 04:45:21 PM
My turkey (good eats method, few tweaks to the brine and done with charcoal on the weber) smelled so good my vegetarian sister had a small piece of white meat.



/passing out on the floor in front of the tv
//pumpkin beer tasting was a wonderful terrible idea mom
 
2012-11-22 04:45:31 PM
dead dinosaurs on tables across america-

Turkey boob is great. No bones so you can just jam it in your pie hole as fast as you can chew. *sigh*

can't afford organic, free range, crap free gobblers so what's the sense. Especially at $6/lb SIX FREAKIN' BUCKS A POUND
 
2012-11-22 05:13:47 PM
I'll concede that not all white meat is bland and tasteless. But it'll still never be as good as dark meat.
 
2012-11-22 05:14:41 PM
Ham - Easter
Turkey - Thanksgiving
Roast beef - Christmas
 
2012-11-22 05:30:25 PM
Bought 14 lb turkey. Brined it. Cooked it with foil on the breast for 2.5 hours until my [real] meat thermometer read 165 in the breast. Delicious.

I have a few slices left.

Also 5 people asked me how I made such good dressing. It only tastes so good because you are used to box dressing.

Give cooking "from scratch" a chance people!!
 
2012-11-22 05:39:23 PM
Last year my father-in-law brined the turkey in apple cider.

Best turkey ever.
 
2012-11-22 05:40:12 PM
I'd eat the whole goddamed bird if I could fill it down my gullet. Now excuse me, I have to sit on the couch with my hand down my pants.
 
2012-11-22 05:43:25 PM

GardenWeasel: Ham - Easter
Turkey - Thanksgiving
Roast beef - Christmas


Grey Goose - New Year
 
2012-11-22 05:45:10 PM

GardenWeasel: Ham - Easter
Turkey - Thanksgiving
Roast beef - Christmas


I've convinced a few people roast beef is the way to on Christmas instead yet another turkey. Roast beef, gravy, Yorkshire pudding, fancy British cheddar with sesame crackers, etc.
 
2012-11-22 05:49:48 PM

FunkOut: GardenWeasel: Ham - Easter
Turkey - Thanksgiving
Roast beef - Christmas

I've convinced a few people roast beef is the way to on Christmas instead yet another turkey. Roast beef, gravy, Yorkshire pudding, fancy British cheddar with sesame crackers, etc.


My mother used to cook roasted pork and it was to die for. Then again, she used a lot of chilies, onions and mushrooms, so the juices could bore a hole through an unprepared stomach.

/This year, I'll try that
//Since it's not very likely to go home for Christmas, because I'll be working for a Chinese company
 
2012-11-22 05:51:27 PM

spidermilk: Bought 14 lb turkey. Brined it. Cooked it with foil on the breast for 2.5 hours until my [real] meat thermometer read 165 in the breast. Delicious.

!


...why did you stick your penis in the turkey?
 
2012-11-22 06:02:47 PM

t3knomanser: It's turkey. It's not like there's any part of it that's particularly interesting. The entire reason gravy exists is to disguise the fact that turkey, even the dark meat, is bland and uninteresting.


You have had bad cooks then, prepared correctly Turkey is delicious and the dark meat is average when its cooked correctly.
 
2012-11-22 06:23:18 PM
Yep, people who spend the year cooking TV Dinners in their microwave are suddenly shocked when they don't do well trying to cook a gigantic bird.
 
2012-11-22 06:40:41 PM
s3-media3.ak.yelpcdn.com

If you have turkey problems, I feel bad for you, sub.
I got 99 problems but the legs ain't one. 

/seriously, the butcher farking sells legs
 
2012-11-22 06:42:59 PM
ale-house.com

CygnusDarius: GardenWeasel: Ham - Easter
Turkey - Thanksgiving
Roast beef beast - Christmas

Grey Goose - New Year


FTFY
 
2012-11-22 07:04:03 PM
I had two Thanksgiving dinners today. One at my mother in laws at 11:30 this morning- where the 13 year old nephew cooked the turkey and it was DELICIOUS! Ate cornbread dressing,squash dressing and a slew of sides (14 in all) Plus coconut cake,chocolate pie and chess pie for dessert.
Got home at 2 o'clock and there was a message on the answering machine from the neighbors." We're having smoked turkey at 5 o'clock-you're welcome to come get you a plate or two."
She had me at Smoked turkey.
Boy can her husband use a smoker!
I can't walk right now but it sure was worth it.
I have a refrigerator full of leftovers that I never cooked-the best kind!. 
*burp*
 
2012-11-22 07:26:29 PM
One turkey. Stuff and place in roasting pan. Cover tightly with lid or foil. Put in 225 degree oven for 12 hours - do NOT lift lid/foil, do not baste. Remove and let stand for 10 minutes. Carve carefully and enjoy your moist, tender turkey meat.

Caution: this is for eating, not presentation. Turkey will probably fall apart if you try to lift it out of the pan.
 
2012-11-22 07:42:47 PM

Tillmaster: Kosher turkey is delicious. It's the way they prepare it.
However, we're not going to have turkey until Christmas this year.
Our Thanksgiving meal will be Steak and Kidney Pie.
Excellent!


I didn't think the guts (e.g.
 
2012-11-22 09:10:13 PM

St_Francis_P: Maybe you're cooking it wrong. I like the white meat.

Yes, I know; that's racist.


Then everyone's cooking it wrong, because I've never tasted white turkey meat that wasn't dry and flavorless.
 
2012-11-22 09:32:44 PM

calm like a bomb: Every year, every farking year, I ask as nicely as I can, "Hey, how about we get a ham as well? Or some fish. Or I grill a steak?


A couple years ago the wife went to visit the kids. Since I had to work and couldn't take time off, I did just that. I went and got a nice thick, aged, hand cut and trimmed 16oz Porterhouse.
 
2012-11-22 09:43:14 PM

Coelacanth: *Trying to figure out how to cook this mushroom log thingy my vegan brother wants instead of turkey*


Ask him if he's so determined to be an attention whore, why he doesn't also go sugar-free, gluten-free, nut-free, sodium-free, and kosher?
 
2012-11-22 09:56:38 PM

PsiChick: always makes a pack of turkey legs, not a whole turkey


Anyone have a good recipe for a pack of legs?
 
2012-11-22 10:00:30 PM

WeenerGord: PsiChick: always makes a pack of turkey legs, not a whole turkey

Anyone have a good recipe for a pack of legs?


Baby Oil and a slippery mat.... oh wait, you meant TURKEY legs... nm.
 
2012-11-22 10:57:17 PM
Marinated turkey breast in the crockpot for Thanksgiving, lasagna for Christmas. It's almost impossible to mess up and even picky little kids will enjoy it.
 
2012-11-22 11:06:17 PM
I brined and smoked 2 turkey breast today I'd be more than happy to put against whatever you have.
 
2012-11-22 11:28:41 PM
The real Thanksgiving story is extremely dark, far darker than any leg and thigh meat.

Could fear of facing our dark history be behind the prejudice against dark meat? Or is there more to the darkness of dark meat that feeds that fear?


I kind of lost my interest here.

/dark meat for the win
//did a vegetarian day this year for the daughters who cooked it
///walked away fulfilled
////and full
 
2012-11-22 11:42:48 PM

cretinbob: calm like a bomb: Every year, every farking year, I ask as nicely as I can, "Hey, how about we get a ham as well? Or some fish. Or I grill a steak?

A couple years ago the wife went to visit the kids. Since I had to work and couldn't take time off, I did just that. I went and got a nice thick, aged, hand cut and trimmed 16oz Porterhouse.


Similar for me this year, had work so I couldn't make it back home and it didn't make sense to cook an entire turkey for one. I went with a ribeye myself, and a big pot of collard greens, never been a fan of stuffing.
 
2012-11-22 11:54:07 PM
Subby clearly doesn't know how to cook.
I'm so farking full of juicy, tender, flavorful turkey tits right now, I think imma just go lay down....
 
2012-11-23 12:36:40 AM
I brined my turkey overnight, then cooked it over a charcoal fire rotisserie with some hickory chunks for smoke. Dry and flavorless my ass.
 
2012-11-23 12:57:37 AM
Apparently Farkers don't know how to cook.
 
2012-11-23 01:28:29 PM

cleveralthere: FlashHarry: brine it and don't overcook it.

This. My sister uses the Alton Brown method which has produced the best tasting turkey i have ever had. I dont usually like white meat but this one was nice and juicy and delicious.


The Alton Brown brine method also improves deep fried turkey. Mmmmmmm, makes the breast taste like really good lunch meat version. I add cranberry wine to my brine.

I want to try his cured turkey, which is funny because in his original episode he said you can't butterfly a turkey.
 
2012-11-23 05:18:16 PM

shortymac: The Alton Brown brine method also improves deep fried turkey. Mmmmmmm, makes the breast taste like really good lunch meat version. I add cranberry wine to my brine.

I want to try his cured turkey, which is funny because in his original episode he said you can't butterfly a turkey.


He didnt say you couldnt, he just said while probably technically superior, that method doesnt let you present a nice whole norman rockwellesque carcass to the table.
 
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