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(Slate)   It's Thanksgiving, so let's not fight today and just all agree that turkey white meat is a bland, tasteless, cardboard-like substance that nobody really enjoys and we all secretly crave the dark. And if you take the last leg, I WILL CUT YOU   (slate.com) divider line 136
    More: Obvious, Ron Rosenbaum, white-breads, scrambled eggs, Fairfield County, boobs, zucchini, nutritional value, porkchops  
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2166 clicks; posted to Main » on 22 Nov 2012 at 2:41 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-11-22 03:22:36 PM  
White meat, Dark meat, ALL will be carved....

74.220.219.70
 
2012-11-22 03:23:11 PM  
My God, It's full of words....
t2.gstatic.com
 
2012-11-22 03:25:24 PM  

elchip: Mama Stamberg's cranberry relis


Found the recipe and it looks awesome. So does the cranberry chutney. I will have to try those and give them my own special touches (maybe).
 
2012-11-22 03:25:56 PM  

demaL-demaL-yeH: FunkOut: I don't really care for any of the turkey. I will eat all the stuffing though. All the stuffing.

Are you from a mixed family that celebrates both the Canuckistan and American Thanksgivings?

/Gravy is its own food group.


Yes, we always get both Thanksgivings. Frequently the Canadian one had a fresh sockeye salmon for the centre dish though.
 
2012-11-22 03:25:57 PM  
Fried turkey is delicious.
 
2012-11-22 03:30:01 PM  
I much prefer the dark meat, and that's with my family having a recipe that makes quite juicy white meat. Dark meat just has a different, more pleasing flavour to me, so I much prefer it...but then, it's Spanksgiving. Meat, potatoes, boatloads of gravy, a few different pies for desert, and lots of booze and poker, now that my grandparents and most of my extended family has stopped coming.

/thinking of picking up a new game on my way home to top it all off
//happy holiday to me
 
2012-11-22 03:30:29 PM  

FunkOut: demaL-demaL-yeH: FunkOut: I don't really care for any of the turkey. I will eat all the stuffing though. All the stuffing.

Are you from a mixed family that celebrates both the Canuckistan and American Thanksgivings?

/Gravy is its own food group.

Yes, we always get both Thanksgivings. Frequently the Canadian one had a fresh sockeye salmon for the centre dish though.


The original Jewish one has to be a bit, uh, uncomfortable at times in the Great White North.

/Snow on the sukkah. *shivers*
 
2012-11-22 03:33:21 PM  
*Trying to figure out how to cook this mushroom log thingy my vegan brother wants instead of turkey*
 
2012-11-22 03:34:50 PM  

Thelyphthoric: That's it, I'm going in, I don't care if it still has four hours left. I'm having pink meat.


Fark is not your personal erotica site.
 
2012-11-22 03:36:07 PM  

Coelacanth: *Trying to figure out how to cook this mushroom log thingy my vegan brother wants instead of turkey*


Pull the package out of the trash and follow the directions.
 
2012-11-22 03:36:16 PM  

strapp3r: i'm cooking DUCK biatchES!

[michtoy.com image 400x314] 

/have fun
//be safe
///show some love today


I'll be right over. :) I'll bring the wine.

Happy Thanksgiving Everyone!


/love me some duck
 
2012-11-22 03:36:29 PM  

Coelacanth: *Trying to figure out how to cook this mushroom log thingy my vegan brother wants instead of turkey*


That's easy. Slice it into 1/2 inch thick rounds and fry them in lard, and tell him next year he can cook his own damned food.
 
2012-11-22 03:37:21 PM  

Coelacanth: *Trying to figure out how to cook this mushroom log thingy my vegan brother wants instead of turkey*


Here's how you cook mushroom logs for your vegan brothers: "Hey brother, come cook this f*cking log. Or eat some f*cking turkey, or go hungry, I don't care, but this f*cking log ain't my f*cking problem!"
 
2012-11-22 03:37:24 PM  
Dark meat is the turkey mud vein.
 
2012-11-22 03:37:35 PM  
Brine that bird! After 2 ½ hours on the grill, when I poked the thermometer into mine, juice came gushing right out of the breast.

Also, don't buy such a gigantic turkey that you have to put heat on it for 4 hours. Two 11 pound birds is far better than one 22 pounder. We did a pair of the smaller birds in 2 different brines for subtly different flavor, and now nobody will leave.
 
2012-11-22 03:39:25 PM  
Jeezus...that guy is the Ayn Rand of food blogs.
 
2012-11-22 03:40:46 PM  
I like turkey white meat better than dark meat, vice versa for chicken.
 
2012-11-22 03:41:37 PM  

Coastalgrl: strapp3r: i'm cooking DUCK biatchES!

[michtoy.com image 400x314] 

/have fun
//be safe
///show some love today

I'll be right over. :) I'll bring the wine.

Happy Thanksgiving Everyone!


/love me some duck


Do you have some sort of farkdar?

Between you and frickinsweet knowing where other farkers keep their food, I'm getting creeped out.

/Likes duck too, but not enough to invade houses.
 
2012-11-22 03:43:23 PM  

Coelacanth: *Trying to figure out how to cook this mushroom log thingy my vegan brother wants instead of turkey*


Dammit, I was a vegetarian for 5 years (had a meat smell = cadaver smell issue), and all I did was load up on pie and other stuff. None of this "I need to make a carcass replacement" dealy. Those meat replacement things usually give killer heartburn due to all the savory flavour enhancements.
 
2012-11-22 03:43:42 PM  
I absolutely agree with the statement about the dark meat.... except you know, the opposite.
 
2012-11-22 03:44:33 PM  

t3knomanser: It's turkey. It's not like there's any part of it that's particularly interesting. The entire reason gravy exists is to disguise the fact that turkey, even the dark meat, is bland and uninteresting.


I am terribly sorry.... how long ago did you loose your taste buds? Will you be ok?
 
2012-11-22 03:46:42 PM  

Thelyphthoric: That's it, I'm going in, I don't care if it still has four hours left. I'm having pink meat.


That's what she said.
 
2012-11-22 03:46:51 PM  

FlashHarry: whether chicken or turkey, white meat doesn't have enough fat to be moist and flavorful - unless you do two things: brine it and don't overcook it.


Never brined a piece of meat and every single piece I have ever cooked has been flavorfull and juicy... proper seasoning, cooking time, and rest time is the key.
 
2012-11-22 03:49:12 PM  

ooitburns: Chicken is so much better


/tastes like Turkey?
 
2012-11-22 03:49:17 PM  
Place the turkey breast-side down in the pan when you cook it. You're welcome.

If you've got an extra twenty minutes, de-bone the turkey in one piece first, then season the inside and wrap the skin and back meat up against the back side of the breasts and tie with a string. Again, you're welcome.
 
2012-11-22 03:49:19 PM  
Brine your turkey and put it in a roaster over with all the aromatics you want. Cover and cook X minutes per pound and you will have the juiciest, most flavorful turkey you can imagine. I'm not really fond of turkey but went to a Polish T-Day meal where the turkeys were cooked that way and boned out into serving trays and it was absolutely great. The lemon and coconut cream pies also helped.
 
2012-11-22 03:49:21 PM  
All i can say is, if your turkey is bland, tasteless and cardboard like then learn how to farking cook! My turkey white meat taste moist, juicy and flavorful.
 
2012-11-22 03:49:27 PM  

HindiDiscoMonster: t3knomanser: It's turkey. It's not like there's any part of it that's particularly interesting. The entire reason gravy exists is to disguise the fact that turkey, even the dark meat, is bland and uninteresting.

I am terribly sorry.... how long ago did you loose your taste buds? Will you be ok?


OK, now you're just trollin' me.

/Pour yourself another bourbon: Get tight.
 
2012-11-22 03:51:13 PM  

GardenWeasel: Thelyphthoric: That's it, I'm going in, I don't care if it still has four hours left. I'm having pink meat.

That's what she said.


And tha's why she's bi-curious.
 
2012-11-22 03:51:40 PM  

shizbgby_v2: You are cooking it wrong.

/Prefers the white meat
//Why yes, I am African American...


Where the white meat at? :P
 
2012-11-22 03:53:11 PM  

HowlingPook: Brine your turkey and put it in a roaster over with all the aromatics you want. Cover and cook X minutes per pound and you will have the juiciest, most flavorful turkey you can imagine. I'm not really fond of turkey but went to a Polish T-Day meal where the turkeys were cooked that way and boned out into serving trays and it was absolutely great. The lemon and coconut cream pies also helped.


Romanes eunt domus!
 
2012-11-22 03:53:12 PM  

demaL-demaL-yeH: Coastalgrl: strapp3r: i'm cooking DUCK biatchES!

[michtoy.com image 400x314] 

/have fun
//be safe
///show some love today

I'll be right over. :) I'll bring the wine.

Happy Thanksgiving Everyone!


/love me some duck

Do you have some sort of farkdar?

Between you and frickinsweet knowing where other farkers keep their food, I'm getting creeped out.

/Likes duck too, but not enough to invade houses.


Just giving props to Duck for Tday. That and Im 2 glasses of wine in. And its 4pm where I am. Not going to invade homes.
 
2012-11-22 03:53:15 PM  

FloydA: Thelyphthoric: That's it, I'm going in, I don't care if it still has four hours left. I'm having pink meat.

Fark is not your personal erotica site.


Ummm, did you forget about foobies?
 
2012-11-22 03:56:35 PM  

demaL-demaL-yeH: HindiDiscoMonster: t3knomanser: It's turkey. It's not like there's any part of it that's particularly interesting. The entire reason gravy exists is to disguise the fact that turkey, even the dark meat, is bland and uninteresting.

I am terribly sorry.... how long ago did you loose your taste buds? Will you be ok?

OK, now you're just trollin' me.

/Pour yourself another bourbon: Get tight.


:D Just having a little fun on Turkey day

/Prefer Guinness.... mmmm
//If you can't stand a spoon straight up in a beer... it's not dark enough :P
 
2012-11-22 03:57:24 PM  
i turned into a human icicle the other night, been freezing my bells off. first time in my life i missed Thanksgiving. no need to show up & get my family sick. my ears have a high pitched ringing going on, but i suspect that may be because i ran out of buspirone.

thankfully my being sick did not to stop Mrs.Kritter from bolting up to her rental place in NY state where she will entertain her co-worker friends at yet another get together i wasn't invited to. because she is the type of passive-aggressive biatch that won't simply call a lawyer and get it over with. no. there is too much fun to be had making sure husband is fully aware he is an unwanted burden in a loveless sexless marriage. she defines castrating biatch. if i hit the lottery it will be 1-800-LAWYER and i will be living elsewhere in under 24 hours.
 
2012-11-22 03:58:03 PM  
DNRTFA

I HATE DARK MEAT!!!!! Don't try to tell me I don't. It's greasy and nasty and gross, so there!

/that is all
 
2012-11-22 03:59:13 PM  
There is also no reason you can't have a turkey and a Honeybaked Ham.
 
2012-11-22 03:59:14 PM  
Just finished round 1. Grilled turkey, stuffing, mashed taters, gravy, mac n cheese, green bean casserole, rolls, cranberry relish, pumpkin pie. And wine. Many many bottles of wine.
 
2012-11-22 04:00:30 PM  

demaL-demaL-yeH: HowlingPook: Brine your turkey and put it in a roaster over with all the aromatics you want. Cover and cook X minutes per pound and you will have the juiciest, most flavorful turkey you can imagine. I'm not really fond of turkey but went to a Polish T-Day meal where the turkeys were cooked that way and boned out into serving trays and it was absolutely great. The lemon and coconut cream pies also helped.

Romanes eunt domus!

 
www.portlandmercury.com
 
2012-11-22 04:01:02 PM  
i47.tinypic.com
 
2012-11-22 04:01:33 PM  

demaL-demaL-yeH: Coastalgrl: strapp3r: i'm cooking DUCK biatchES!

[michtoy.com image 400x314] 

/have fun
//be safe
///show some love today

I'll be right over. :) I'll bring the wine.

Happy Thanksgiving Everyone!


/love me some duck

Do you have some sort of farkdar?

Between you and frickinsweet knowing where other farkers keep their food, I'm getting creeped out.

/Likes duck too, but not enough to invade houses.


Some people here have developed irl friendships/relationships, so it's no surprise, really.

/btw
//howdy neighbor
///posting from Hermosillo :p
 
2012-11-22 04:01:50 PM  
Turkey breast + molasses glazed ham + etc = yummy.

The secret word is moist.
 
2012-11-22 04:02:07 PM  

CruJones: There is also no reason you can't have a turkey and a Honeybaked Ham.


I'm Jewish.
 
2012-11-22 04:02:40 PM  

KrispyKritter: i turned into a human icicle the other night, been freezing my bells off. first time in my life i missed Thanksgiving. no need to show up & get my family sick. my ears have a high pitched ringing going on, but i suspect that may be because i ran out of buspirone.

thankfully my being sick did not to stop Mrs.Kritter from bolting up to her rental place in NY state where she will entertain her co-worker friends at yet another get together i wasn't invited to. because she is the type of passive-aggressive biatch that won't simply call a lawyer and get it over with. no. there is too much fun to be had making sure husband is fully aware he is an unwanted burden in a loveless sexless marriage. she defines castrating biatch. if i hit the lottery it will be 1-800-LAWYER and i will be living elsewhere in under 24 hours.


If you hit a really big jackpot, you could simply buy some bears and/or wolves and have them eat her, you know.
 
2012-11-22 04:03:28 PM  

demaL-demaL-yeH: CruJones: There is also no reason you can't have a turkey and a Honeybaked Ham.

I'm Jewish.


ok well... one reason
 
2012-11-22 04:09:01 PM  

FunkOut: Dammit, I was a vegetarian for 5 years (had a meat smell = cadaver smell issue), and all I did was load up on pie and other stuff. None of this "I need to make a carcass replacement" dealy. Those meat replacement things usually give killer heartburn due to all the savory flavour enhancements.


I've got other stuff for him like eggplant Parmesan and I'm fixing to do pumpkin Blinis Demidoffs (I bought a special cast iron pan off of Amazon just to do make them last year). Some people you just can't satisfy I guess.
 
2012-11-22 04:09:47 PM  
Every year my mother makes the same dry turkey. She slathers the skin with oil and sprinkles salt and pepper. On the skin. Then four hours in an oven and she trusts the plastic pop up thing.

The same woman takes store-bought stuffing mix, dresses it up with sausage, celery, and onion, and thinks that it's just the best crap ever.

Then the family arrives with the screaming, whining crotchfruits, and people wonder why I'm so depressed I need a bottle of whiskey to get through the day.
 
2012-11-22 04:16:45 PM  

KrispyKritter: i turned into a human icicle the other night, been freezing my bells off.


I guess every family has their own unique holiday traditions.
 
2012-11-22 04:29:12 PM  

demaL-demaL-yeH: CruJones: There is also no reason you can't have a turkey and a Honeybaked Ham.

I'm Jewish.


Me too. We only eat ham on Easter.
/Seriously. My dad's thing. 
//Steak this year for Thanksgiving.
 
2012-11-22 04:29:43 PM  
Fry it. Brine it. Bam, moist, flavorful white meat. Also, cut the breast off the turkey and cut it width-wise into chunks. So much easier.
 
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