If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Yahoo)   Today marks the 50th anniversary of the day JFK was accidentally killed by Secret Service agent George Hickey   (news.yahoo.com) divider line 109
    More: Sad, President John F. Kennedy, Dallas, special agents, National Register of Historic Places, Lee Harvey Oswald, public address, Dealey Plaza, Jonathan Davis  
•       •       •

10686 clicks; posted to Main » on 22 Nov 2012 at 1:47 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



109 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

Archived thread

First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | » | Last | Show all
 
2012-11-22 02:42:12 PM  
There was a man from Mass
Who got shot in the head by this ass

His wife got some on her
and wore the farking dress all day
 
2012-11-22 02:43:32 PM  
www.virginmedia.com
 
2012-11-22 02:46:05 PM  

Waxing_Chewbacca: jimpapa: first i will prefix this statement with "i am not a conspiracy nut" but.
years ago while in Dallas we were downtown and walked over to Dealy plaza.
paid ten bucks for the tour in the old depository.
the window he shot from was blocked off but you could look out the window next to it.
when you look out that window and try to imagine being Oswald for that brief moment you are struck with the the thought that there is no good reason to fire when he did as the car and his target were traveling away at a bad angle. 10 seconds earlier it would have made for a head on shot much closer and the car would be barely moving because of the turn.

so i'm left with the thought of perhaps someone walking by or his gun jamming or he was coordinating with some else.

Yup... I thought the same thing. You had him coming at you at one point too I believe. Also... Try standing over by where the grassy knoll guy was. THAT shot? Cakewalk. Very odd. Proves nothing but still... Very odd.


No shot came from the grassy knoll. If someone fired at the President's head from that direction, it would have passed through his skull and hit Jackie. If you look at their body positions right before the 3rd shot, their heads are nearly touching. If the coup de grace came from the President's right, as opposed to behind him, it would have killed the First Lady as well.

Look at the forensics of the bullet wounds and match them up with the positions both the President and Gov. Connolly were in, inside the car. Connolly's seat was further in and lower. 1st bullet misses the car, 2nd bullet strikes Kennedy in the upper back, exiting through his throat and strikes Connolly in the shoulder. If you draw a line between those entry/exit wounds and then draw it all the way back, it connects to the 6th floor of the Texas School Book Depository. No 2nd shooter, no magic bullet spinning and twisting and tumbling in mid-air.
 
2012-11-22 02:47:52 PM  
mimg.ugo.com

Also, did the subby think he was some sort of Comedian with that headline?
 
2012-11-22 02:49:20 PM  

Coco LaFemme: Waxing_Chewbacca: jimpapa: first i will prefix this statement with "i am not a conspiracy nut" but.
years ago while in Dallas we were downtown and walked over to Dealy plaza.
paid ten bucks for the tour in the old depository.
the window he shot from was blocked off but you could look out the window next to it.
when you look out that window and try to imagine being Oswald for that brief moment you are struck with the the thought that there is no good reason to fire when he did as the car and his target were traveling away at a bad angle. 10 seconds earlier it would have made for a head on shot much closer and the car would be barely moving because of the turn.

so i'm left with the thought of perhaps someone walking by or his gun jamming or he was coordinating with some else.

Yup... I thought the same thing. You had him coming at you at one point too I believe. Also... Try standing over by where the grassy knoll guy was. THAT shot? Cakewalk. Very odd. Proves nothing but still... Very odd.

No shot came from the grassy knoll. If someone fired at the President's head from that direction, it would have passed through his skull and hit Jackie. If you look at their body positions right before the 3rd shot, their heads are nearly touching. If the coup de grace came from the President's right, as opposed to behind him, it would have killed the First Lady as well.

Look at the forensics of the bullet wounds and match them up with the positions both the President and Gov. Connolly were in, inside the car. Connolly's seat was further in and lower. 1st bullet misses the car, 2nd bullet strikes Kennedy in the upper back, exiting through his throat and strikes Connolly in the shoulder. If you draw a line between those entry/exit wounds and then draw it all the way back, it connects to the 6th floor of the Texas School Book Depository. No 2nd shooter, no magic bullet spinning and twisting and tumbling in mid-air.


A recent investigation showed the first shot, which was never recovered, was blocked by a streetlamp.

Streetlamp.
 
2012-11-22 02:53:12 PM  

Gunderson: [mimg.ugo.com image 528x220]

Also, did the subby think he was some sort of Comedian with that headline?


BTW, Before Watchmen wrecks that shiat. Thanks for killing a cool idea in your comics, guys.
 
2012-11-22 02:56:04 PM  
Great day in the morning, 50 years? Damn I was a senior in high school. Aren't they supposed to release ALL the facts after fifty years, you know, when all the players were dead?
 
2012-11-22 02:59:09 PM  

cig-mkr: Great day in the morning, 50 years? Damn I was a senior in high school. Aren't they supposed to release ALL the facts after fifty years, you know, when all the players were dead?




bushlibrary.tamu.edu
 
2012-11-22 03:02:09 PM  
www.global-air.com

The Kennedy Assassination still captures the interest of those that believe it was a conspiracy. (new window)
 
2012-11-22 03:02:25 PM  
Damn. They said there would be no math today.
 
2012-11-22 03:04:21 PM  

cig-mkr: Great day in the morning, 50 years? Damn I was a senior in high school. Aren't they supposed to release ALL the facts after fifty years, you know, when all the players were dead?


Wow, you're 67? 68? Does that make you the oldest Farker?

/will now get off your lawn
 
2012-11-22 03:05:53 PM  

Coco LaFemme: Waxing_Chewbacca: jimpapa: first i will prefix this statement with "i am not a conspiracy nut" but.
years ago while in Dallas we were downtown and walked over to Dealy plaza.
paid ten bucks for the tour in the old depository.
the window he shot from was blocked off but you could look out the window next to it.
when you look out that window and try to imagine being Oswald for that brief moment you are struck with the the thought that there is no good reason to fire when he did as the car and his target were traveling away at a bad angle. 10 seconds earlier it would have made for a head on shot much closer and the car would be barely moving because of the turn.

so i'm left with the thought of perhaps someone walking by or his gun jamming or he was coordinating with some else.

Yup... I thought the same thing. You had him coming at you at one point too I believe. Also... Try standing over by where the grassy knoll guy was. THAT shot? Cakewalk. Very odd. Proves nothing but still... Very odd.

No shot came from the grassy knoll. If someone fired at the President's head from that direction, it would have passed through his skull and hit Jackie. If you look at their body positions right before the 3rd shot, their heads are nearly touching. If the coup de grace came from the President's right, as opposed to behind him, it would have killed the First Lady as well.

Look at the forensics of the bullet wounds and match them up with the positions both the President and Gov. Connolly were in, inside the car. Connolly's seat was further in and lower. 1st bullet misses the car, 2nd bullet strikes Kennedy in the upper back, exiting through his throat and strikes Connolly in the shoulder. If you draw a line between those entry/exit wounds and then draw it all the way back, it connects to the 6th floor of the Texas School Book Depository. No 2nd shooter, no magic bullet spinning and twisting and tumbling in mid-air.


Not saying there was... But when you're there you are struck by the angles and positions of each location. Only spaghetti monster knows for sure. Only spaghetti monster...
 
2012-11-22 03:11:35 PM  
Yeah, let's eulogise the priapic asshole who precipitated the Cuban Missile Crisis by aggressively deploying missiles to Turkey and bringing the world to the brink of nuclear Armageddon. Not to mention deepening our involvement in Vietnam.
 
2012-11-22 03:17:38 PM  

Dr.Zom: cig-mkr: Great day in the morning, 50 years? Damn I was a senior in high school. Aren't they supposed to release ALL the facts after fifty years, you know, when all the players were dead?

Wow, you're 67? 68? Does that make you the oldest Farker?

/will now get off your lawn


68 next February, that's why I laugh when the baby boomer rants happen, I'm a war baby.
stay on the lawn, it's nothing but weeds anyway.
 
2012-11-22 03:25:23 PM  
 
2012-11-22 03:28:36 PM  

Suede head: Yeah, let's eulogise the priapic asshole who precipitated the Cuban Missile Crisis by aggressively deploying missiles to Turkey and bringing the world to the brink of nuclear Armageddon. Not to mention deepening our involvement in Vietnam.


K sounds good
 
2012-11-22 03:33:28 PM  

jimpapa: first i will prefix this statement with "i am not a conspiracy nut" but.
years ago while in Dallas we were downtown and walked over to Dealy plaza.
paid ten bucks for the tour in the old depository.
the window he shot from was blocked off but you could look out the window next to it.
when you look out that window and try to imagine being Oswald for that brief moment you are struck with the the thought that there is no good reason to fire when he did as the car and his target were traveling away at a bad angle. 10 seconds earlier it would have made for a head on shot much closer and the car would be barely moving because of the turn.

so i'm left with the thought of perhaps someone walking by or his gun jamming or he was coordinating with some else.


I've always thought the same. It would have been a far easier shot.

/Of all the wild conspiracy theories out there this is the only one I don't think is clearly nuts.
//Even with an automatic it would have been tricky. With a bolt action it's worse.
 
2012-11-22 03:34:15 PM  

jimpapa: first i will prefix this statement with "i am not a conspiracy nut" but.
years ago while in Dallas we were downtown and walked over to Dealy plaza.
paid ten bucks for the tour in the old depository.
the window he shot from was blocked off but you could look out the window next to it.
when you look out that window and try to imagine being Oswald for that brief moment you are struck with the the thought that there is no good reason to fire when he did as the car and his target were traveling away at a bad angle. 10 seconds earlier it would have made for a head on shot much closer and the car would be barely moving because of the turn.

so i'm left with the thought of perhaps someone walking by or his gun jamming or he was coordinating with some else.


Or he just hesitated. I'd imagine a lot of thoughts go through your head before you take a shot at another person, let alone the president in front of half the local police department. Some of those probably are, "do you really want to do this?"
 
2012-11-22 03:39:45 PM  
Back and to the left, back and to the left, bacK and to the left
 
2012-11-22 03:47:36 PM  

thisisyourbrainonFark: Back and to the left, back and to the left, bacK and to the left


Put a cork in it, Ollie.
 
2012-11-22 04:01:59 PM  

TomD9938: thisisyourbrainonFark: Back and to the left, back and to the left, bacK and to the left

Put a cork in it, Ollie.


I think you mean: Put an Oll in it, Corky.
 
2012-11-22 04:13:10 PM  
My parents got married the day after Kennedy was shot. For a minute I thought we had screwed up their 50th anniversary party we're planning for them next year.
 
2012-11-22 04:30:43 PM  

JerseyTim: The Third Man: You mean he was a zombie for a whole year? Maybe we should be looking at Abraham Lincoln as the real killer...

/oh please please please let this go green so we can truly mock subby

I deserve it.

/hangs head in shame.


dammit man. i work hard to stick up for The Garden State. oh Tiny Tim. what have you done. what have you done.
 
2012-11-22 04:52:50 PM  

jimpapa: when you look out that window and try to imagine being Oswald for that brief moment you are struck with the the thought that there is no good reason to fire when he did as the car and his target were traveling away at a bad angle. 10 seconds earlier it would have made for a head on shot much closer and the car would be barely moving because of the turn.



He wanted to have time to flee the scene. There is also the possibility that if there was more than one shooter, Oswald needed to wait until JFK's car entered the predetermined "kill zone" where the other shooters were set up.

I think Oswald was the only one shooting that day, but I am very interested in his motivations and who he may have been working with. Unfortunately, we will probably never know.
 
2012-11-22 04:55:16 PM  
One of my favorite short documentaries is about the "umbrella man," produced by Errol Morris. It's only a few minutes long. See it here. It's a great commentary on conspiracy theories in general.
 
2012-11-22 05:02:07 PM  

FarkinDave: Coco LaFemme: Waxing_Chewbacca: jimpapa: first i will prefix this statement with "i am not a conspiracy nut" but.
years ago while in Dallas we were downtown and walked over to Dealy plaza.
paid ten bucks for the tour in the old depository.
the window he shot from was blocked off but you could look out the window next to it.
when you look out that window and try to imagine being Oswald for that brief moment you are struck with the the thought that there is no good reason to fire when he did as the car and his target were traveling away at a bad angle. 10 seconds earlier it would have made for a head on shot much closer and the car would be barely moving because of the turn.

so i'm left with the thought of perhaps someone walking by or his gun jamming or he was coordinating with some else.

Yup... I thought the same thing. You had him coming at you at one point too I believe. Also... Try standing over by where the grassy knoll guy was. THAT shot? Cakewalk. Very odd. Proves nothing but still... Very odd.

No shot came from the grassy knoll. If someone fired at the President's head from that direction, it would have passed through his skull and hit Jackie. If you look at their body positions right before the 3rd shot, their heads are nearly touching. If the coup de grace came from the President's right, as opposed to behind him, it would have killed the First Lady as well.

Look at the forensics of the bullet wounds and match them up with the positions both the President and Gov. Connolly were in, inside the car. Connolly's seat was further in and lower. 1st bullet misses the car, 2nd bullet strikes Kennedy in the upper back, exiting through his throat and strikes Connolly in the shoulder. If you draw a line between those entry/exit wounds and then draw it all the way back, it connects to the 6th floor of the Texas School Book Depository. No 2nd shooter, no magic bullet spinning and twisting and tumbling in mid-air.

A recent investigation showed the first shot, which was never recovered, was blocked by a streetlamp.

Streetlamp.


i.imgur.com
 
2012-11-22 05:02:15 PM  
1.bp.blogspot.com
 
2012-11-22 05:19:30 PM  

nimeye: gopher321: I thought it was Anne Frank who shot him.

That's just silly. I really doubt a blind woman could kill anyone with a rifle from that distance.


You're thinking of Ayn Rand. Anne Frank invented the hot dog.
 
2012-11-22 05:36:42 PM  

shower_in_my_socks: One of my favorite short documentaries is about the "umbrella man," produced by Errol Morris. It's only a few minutes long. See it here. It's a great commentary on conspiracy theories in general.


That was good.

Like he said, the truth was too weird to have been made up.
 
2012-11-22 05:56:29 PM  

TomD9938: fugeeface: [o.onionstatic.com image 445x668] 
/hotlinked with grace, aplomb

Zapruder home movies

Link


Awesome! I had never seen that...why does the government keep the truth from us???
/happy thanksgiving!
 
2012-11-22 06:31:51 PM  
Why is anything - at all - still classified about this?
 
2012-11-22 06:42:38 PM  

crazytrain: Coco LaFemme: Does it matter that subby got the # of years wrong? It was still a senseless and brutal act, perpetrated by a deranged nutball for no good reason. If you don't like the President, you vote him out. You don't kill him. That's not how the system is supposed to work. It's offensive.

Everything I've read about Oswald suggests it was in no way related to policy. He had this incredible egotism and desire to be famous, and lo and behold, here comes this huge crime of opportunity when he learns the President's motorcade route will be passing right in front of the building where he happens to be working at the time. It really doesn't have to be any more complicated than that.

Also, for those who haven't read it, Stephen King's book "11/23/63" is actually his best effort in years and worth the read. Your basic time travel / try to save JFK / what would happen type novel.


Odd enough that's what motivated Mark David Chapman. Sometimes crazy is crazy,but some people can't handle the idea of a giant being toppled by a lone nut. They have to write 1000 page books detailing that everyone from the CIA to the Illuminati to the Masons was in on it.

Odd enough Steven King is accused of murdering John Lennon by some persistent stalker.
 
2012-11-22 06:49:32 PM  
Time for a csb:

A friend's father was a Secret Service Agent detailed to LBJ in Dallas that day.

He was at Parkland Hospital and said the one thing that he couldn't get out of his head was the squishy sound made by Mrs Kennedy's shoes when she was walking. They were filled with blood.
 
2012-11-22 07:03:07 PM  
LBJ had Kennedy killed because he wasn't going to allow a ramp up of US troops in SE Asia. Johnson wanted a war for profit reasons. When I got to the Nam in 68 and saw all those Sea Land container ships in Cam Ranh Bay that I later learned were partially owned by Lady Bird Johnson, things started to fall into place.
 
2012-11-22 07:34:17 PM  
How do you know that was Kennedy?
 
2012-11-22 07:56:58 PM  

DON.MAC: JFK introduced new math into the school system.


Tardmitter must be a product of public education circa 2005.
 
2012-11-22 08:06:40 PM  

ModernLuddite: [24.media.tumblr.com image 500x275]

[25.media.tumblr.com image 500x275] 

//Hotlinked.


Whats that from?
 
2012-11-22 08:14:34 PM  

Thanks for the Meme-ries: [i291.photobucket.com image 798x578]

HARTMAN: Do any of you people know who Charles Whitman was? None of you dumbasses knows? Private Cowboy?

COWBOY: Sir, he was that guy who shot all those people from that tower in Austin, Texas, sir!

HARTMAN: That's affirmative. Charles Whitman killed twelve people from a twenty-eight-storey observation tower at the University of Texas from distances up to four hundred yards. Anybody know who Lee Harvey Oswald was? Private Snowball?

SNOWBALL: Sir, he shot Kennedy, sir!

HARTMAN: That's right, and do you know how far away he was?

SNOWBALL: Sir, it was pretty far! From that book suppository building, sir!

HARTMAN: All right, knock it off! Two hundred and fifty feet! He was two hundred and fifty feet away and shooting at a moving target. Oswald got off three rounds with an old Italian bolt action rifle in only six seconds and scored two hits, including a head shot! Do any of you people know where these individuals learned to shoot? Private Joker?

JOKER: Sir, in the Marines, sir!

HARTMAN: In the Marines! Outstanding! Those individuals showed what one motivated marine and his rifle can do! And before you ladies leave my island, you will be able to do the same thing!



Thanks.

That made my heart swell with patriotic pride.

/Sniff
 
2012-11-22 08:20:45 PM  

Gunderson: Come On, Subby! Everyone knows that JFK was killed by a self-inflicted gunshot would to the head.



Fark you!

It was John Connely!

You can see him turn around to deliver the shot.
 
2012-11-22 08:51:17 PM  
Huntceet: LBJ had Kennedy killed...

Evelyn Lincoln, JFK's longtime secretary, jotted down a list of likely suspects while on Air Force One headed back to Washington, DC that very day. I wonder who's the first name on the list :

Link

/schoolboy in Nov. 1963, still remembers 
 
2012-11-22 09:06:09 PM  

alabasterblack: RoyFokker'sGhost: Wait....

The JFK assassination delayed the premiere of Dr. Who in 1963
This year is the 50th anniversary of James Bond.
Jame's Bond and Dr. Who are Brittish.
British people like soccer
America is the only country in the world where soccer isn't the most popular sport played
America's pastime is baseball
Fidel Castro was a failed baseball player...in AMERICA

So, Fidel Castro, in a bid to overthrow the American baseball monopoly, convinced the British government to send James Bond to kill JFK, then used Dr Who to send Bond back 1 year in the past to offset the Anniversary connection and hide the real motive for the killing!

/need to have Michael Jai White read that for the full effect

Epic.


Thank you kindly, sir.

And I'm willing to wager a TF subscription that this still won't be the dumbest conspiracy theory that some FARKers encounter today.
 
2012-11-22 09:59:30 PM  

RoyFokker'sGhost: And I'm willing to wager a TF subscription that this still won't be the dumbest conspiracy theory that some FARKers encounter today.


Last night I heard it was Madame Nhu. (Study it out.)
 
2012-11-22 10:29:52 PM  
The President's brain, a very important piece of forensic evidence, simply disappeared after the autopsy.
So could you please return it.
 
2012-11-22 10:42:38 PM  

Deep Contact: The President's brain, a very important piece of forensic evidence, simply disappeared after the autopsy.
So could you please return it.


img.buzznet.com

What do you think is powering Obamastein?
 
2012-11-22 10:51:39 PM  

Coco LaFemme: It was still a senseless and brutal act, perpetrated by a deranged nutball for no good reason. If you don't like the President, you vote him out. You don't kill him.


Unless you're LBJ and want to be President. Then you have the CIA kill him. E. Howard Hunt confessed the CIA asked him if he wanted in on the assassination.
 
2012-11-23 12:40:42 AM  

palelizard: nimeye: gopher321: I thought it was Anne Frank who shot him.

That's just silly. I really doubt a blind woman could kill anyone with a rifle from that distance.

You're thinking of Ayn Rand. Anne Frank invented the hot dog.


And hot dogs are delicious.
 
2012-11-23 01:21:40 AM  
he was going to announce "disclosure"...and the mossad killed him, under orders from the vatican.

with cia/mob help.

-plans, within plans, within plans.
 
2012-11-23 01:34:05 AM  
1.bp.blogspot.com
 
2012-11-23 02:54:30 AM  
Subby lost a knuckle, and is working in base 9.75.
 
2012-11-23 08:56:47 AM  
The driver did it. Clear as farking day on the Zapruder film. The uncropped one they released a couple of years ago, that is.
 
Displayed 50 of 109 comments

First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | » | Last | Show all

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »






Report