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(Patheos)   That awkward moment when a creationist gets outwitted by a sixth grader   (patheos.com) divider line 70
    More: Amusing, Hemant Mehtas, Portland State University, existence of God, ancient Greeks, innovations  
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35989 clicks; posted to Main » on 22 Nov 2012 at 1:38 AM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Archived thread
2012-11-21 10:14:44 PM  
14 votes:

gremlin1: I just want to know how Noah managed to keep the rabbits down to just two.


All the animals got a commemorative lucky rabbit's foot upon departure.
2012-11-21 10:30:57 PM  
11 votes:
I guess I must be watching a different video than you guys. I just saw an intelligent, mature adult destroy a whiny kid in a debate. In other words, a Republican exchanged ideas with a Democrat. Lol.
2012-11-22 12:29:11 AM  
10 votes:

Mike_LowELL: I guess I must be watching a different video than you guys. I just saw an intelligent, mature adult destroy a whiny kid in a debate. In other words, a Republican exchanged ideas with a Democrat. Lol.


I'll say. And since we all know how much of a fan the Left is now that "math" (since Saint Clinton invoked it at their convention) and "statistics" (since the Mainstream Media has annointed Saint Nate Silver as the Holy Crusader of Liberalism), here's a test they can do to see it for themselves.

1) Watch the video with pen and paper in hand.
2) Mark each time the little boy says "um" or "uh" or some other vocalized pause and each time the man does.
3) Tally up the scores and weep.

See, vocalized pauses are like a clinch in boxing...it's what a defeated opponent does to buy himself time. I've often thought about studying linguistics, and that's a fact of the science. And here's another fact: the higher pitched someone's voice gets in an argument, they more they know they're losing. Listen the video again, and now listen to their voice tones. Tell me who sounds like the frantic, defeated loser.

This is how criminals are caught, people.
2012-11-22 01:48:09 AM  
6 votes:
2.bp.blogspot.com
2012-11-21 10:12:15 PM  
6 votes:

Fark Me To Tears: gremlin1: I find the idea of a 9000 year old Earth ridiculous

Good. The earth is only 6000 years old.

Oh... and Noah had dinosaurs on the Ark. He had to tranquilize the 'raptors to keep things manageable.


I just want to know how Noah managed to keep the rabbits down to just two.
2012-11-21 10:27:38 PM  
5 votes:

gremlin1: Fark Me To Tears: gremlin1: I find the idea of a 9000 year old Earth ridiculous

Good. The earth is only 6000 years old.

Oh... and Noah had dinosaurs on the Ark. He had to tranquilize the 'raptors to keep things manageable.

I just want to know how Noah managed to keep the rabbits down to just two.


i236.photobucket.com
2012-11-21 09:26:25 PM  
5 votes:
In a nutshell:

Kid: What proof do you have that God exists?

Creationist: Uh...because anything is possible.

Kid: Then it's possible you're wrong?

Creationist: WHAARGAARBL!
2012-11-22 02:17:36 AM  
4 votes:

SevenizGud: Even more awkward will be when the little shiat descends to hell to burn in agony for all eternity.


But enough about the creationist.
2012-11-21 10:04:41 PM  
4 votes:

gremlin1: I find the idea of a 9000 year old Earth ridiculous


Good. The earth is only 6000 years old.

Oh... and Noah had dinosaurs on the Ark. He had to tranquilize the 'raptors to keep things manageable.
2012-11-22 02:24:01 AM  
3 votes:

eraser8: gremlin1: I believe God set off the Big Bang and then sat back to see how it goes.

Why?

Serious question, by the way.

I asked a similar question earlier in the day...and, just as I said then, I'm not asking to argue with you or demean your beliefs. I just want to understand.


Because God is a drunken hillbilly. What everyone fails to realize is that God got drunk one day and said to Cthulhu "Hold my beer and watch this!" as he proceeded to ignite a fart causing the big bang.
2012-11-22 02:01:14 AM  
3 votes:
i.imgur.com
2012-11-22 01:50:37 AM  
3 votes:
I don't even know what I know - how can I possibly know what I believe?
2012-11-22 01:44:42 AM  
3 votes:
I've been outwitted by sixth graders in Brockway, Ogdenville and North Haverbrook and by gum has it been that many years since that episode first aired?
2012-11-21 09:34:02 PM  
3 votes:
I like that you can't know 2+2=4 unless you know everything everywhere.
2012-11-22 08:25:41 AM  
2 votes:
You're all wrong.

i.imgur.com
2012-11-22 03:25:45 AM  
2 votes:

j0ndas: The correct answer is that there's no scientific proof for God. You can say that it's scientifically impossible for life to evolve through random chance - because the odds are something like 1 over 10 to the 4000th power, or in other words, 1 over infinity - but God still has to be believed in, if for no other reason than you can't be sure -whose- God created things. The God of Christianity is massively different from the God of Islam, for instance. The "Jesus" of Islam is more or less identical to the Antichrist of Christianity.

Atheism, incidently, is a religion too. It's a just a religion that replaces God with self. Atheists are some of the least tolerant people there are when it comes to other religions, and atheist nations have historically killed more people than all religious wars combined.


i.qkme.me
2012-11-22 03:21:59 AM  
2 votes:
The correct answer is that there's no scientific proof for God. You can say that it's scientifically impossible for life to evolve through random chance - because the odds are something like 1 over 10 to the 4000th power, or in other words, 1 over infinity - but God still has to be believed in, if for no other reason than you can't be sure -whose- God created things. The God of Christianity is massively different from the God of Islam, for instance. The "Jesus" of Islam is more or less identical to the Antichrist of Christianity.

Atheism, incidently, is a religion too. It's a just a religion that replaces God with self. Atheists are some of the least tolerant people there are when it comes to other religions, and atheist nations have historically killed more people than all religious wars combined.
2012-11-22 02:41:53 AM  
2 votes:

kg2095: You are seriously funny. You aren't Larry David are you?


I am the head of Tiny Irregular Screws Incorporated, the world's fifth-leading manufacturer of the rare-but-dangerous "exploding irregular screw", which responds to structural stress by exploding. I do not know why construction companies buy these things, but if they buy them, I will continue to make them. As long as they are of high quality, and the exploding screws continue to explode, there will be demand for ones that have not.
2012-11-22 02:32:18 AM  
2 votes:
THE DEVIL MADE ME TYPE JOSH INSTEAD OF GOSH!!!!
2012-11-22 02:10:17 AM  
2 votes:
everybody's gotta believe something

I believe I'll have another beer.

and then another, just to make sure.
2012-11-22 01:53:15 AM  
2 votes:

gremlin1: These things drive me crazy. I am not an atheist but I agree with their right to not believe in God.
However I believe in God (not organized religion)and have no trouble believing in science. I find the idea of a 9000 year old Earth ridiculous and I believe God set off the Big Bang and then sat back to see how it goes.


I am an atheist, and I really that statement. :)
2012-11-22 01:46:06 AM  
2 votes:

Porous Horace: I've been outwitted by sixth graders in Brockway, Ogdenville and North Haverbrook and by gum has it been that many years since that episode first aired?


Since you used the phrase "by gum" I'm going to go with "yes"
2012-11-22 12:41:18 AM  
2 votes:
i131.photobucket.com
2012-11-21 11:44:46 PM  
2 votes:

Earguy: Mike_LowELL: I guess I must be watching a different video than you guys. I just saw an intelligent, mature adult destroy a whiny kid in a debate. In other words, a Republican exchanged ideas with a Democrat. Lol.

I heard a lot of nonsensical arguing, and when the adult got tested, he reverted quickly to "his dad put him up to this." The kid, however, was not willing to listen or consider a differing opinion. Even if it was stupid. Instead of listening to the answer, he was more interested in firing off another shot.

Ultimately, no minds were changed that day, there was no enlightenment or self examination by anyone in the room.


That's one of the worst 'both sides are bad' I've ever seen.
2012-11-21 09:58:15 PM  
2 votes:
"I contend we are both atheists, I just believe in one less god than you do. When you understand why you dismiss all the other possible gods, you will understand why I dismiss yours." -Stephen F Roberts
2012-11-24 04:10:47 AM  
1 votes:

JuggleGeek: I don't know a lot about Jewish beliefs, but the reason I would guess that they have a similar "fruit of the tree" belief as the Christians and Muslims is because they are all Abrahamic religions.


Or could it be that the "Old Testament" was written by them?
Just a thought.
2012-11-24 03:43:22 AM  
1 votes:

JuggleGeek: The Christians call it the "tree of knowledge of good and evil", The Muslims have essentially the same Adam and Eve story, including the "don't eat fruit of the tree" thing. I would guess that the Jews also have a similar belief.


Yeah, you might guess that.....but I just can't put my finger on the reason why.
2012-11-23 04:40:03 AM  
1 votes:
i296.photobucket.com

You've got to learn to think for yourselves, but only "Bob" can show you how.
2012-11-22 01:41:31 PM  
1 votes:
2012-11-22 12:44:12 PM  
1 votes:
As imaginary friends go, I have always preferred Batman.

/the car
//the cave
//the coolness
2012-11-22 10:19:37 AM  
1 votes:
You know what I find disgusting? The fact that someone would impregnate his own daughter with himself for the sole purpose of torturing himself in front of an audience. That is one really perverted mentally sick person.
2012-11-22 09:41:35 AM  
1 votes:
Hovind

Yeah, let's just stop there...

scienceblogs.com
2012-11-22 09:22:49 AM  
1 votes:
Too much hippy atheist live-and-let-live horseshiat going on ITT. Too many believers with their heads still on. MOAR HAET NAO.
www.mises.ca
2012-11-22 05:14:41 AM  
1 votes:
"once a believeR finds..."

/FTFM
//Preview is your friend
///SLASHIES!
2012-11-22 05:05:18 AM  
1 votes:

cynicalbastard: I'm singularly unimpressed by Pascal's Wager, and I still believe it was written when Pascal was having a really off day, probably after being kicked in the head by a mule. It ignores every other religious possibility other than Pascal's own faith.


The secret to a good wager is setting the conditions so that you know you will get the outcome you want. I'll take that bet any day.
2012-11-22 04:22:30 AM  
1 votes:

dready zim: When you say they get `a bad rap` are you saying


He's saying they were gifted with a live rendition of Ice Ice Baby by none other than Vanilla Ice.
2012-11-22 03:31:21 AM  
1 votes:

j0ndas: You can say that it's scientifically impossible for life to evolve through random chance - because the odds are something like 1 over 10 to the 4000th power, or in other words, 1 over infinity


You could say that, if you were as sentient as a fern.
2012-11-22 03:22:38 AM  
1 votes:
www.mediabistro.com

Approves of that answer.
2012-11-22 03:19:23 AM  
1 votes:

HBK: The All-Powerful Atheismo: muck1969: but logic is hard to fight.

libertarians tend to do very well at it.

example?


catmacros.files.wordpress.com

This is one example of how they do it.
2012-11-22 03:09:55 AM  
1 votes:

NicoFinn: Arthur Jumbles: The creationist's premise is that unless you know everything you can't be sure that anything is true unless someone who knows everything tells you so.

As such, since I don't know everything I can't be sure that God exists unless It tells me so Itself. I assume the creationist believes that God communicates with people through the Bible. However, given the creationist's premise that we can't be sure of anything without knowing everything there is no way for us to know whether the Bible is actually the Word of God.

[2.bp.blogspot.com image 476x293]


That other guy is a lying bastard.
2012-11-22 03:07:19 AM  
1 votes:

Kittypie070: Whoa-K, now I know for a stone cold FACT you been freebasing the Cheetos. LOLz.


I have never smoked, inhaled, ingested, or injected any drugs in my life, because freedom does not require any of those things. Freedom is all around you. Feel the freedom. Freedom is free.

Kittypie070: Would you like to mainline a few of my hallucinogenic jellybeans?

They're Reaganistic.


My parents told me never to take candy from liberals.
2012-11-22 03:05:17 AM  
1 votes:

Arthur Jumbles: The creationist's premise is that unless you know everything you can't be sure that anything is true unless someone who knows everything tells you so.

As such, since I don't know everything I can't be sure that God exists unless It tells me so Itself. I assume the creationist believes that God communicates with people through the Bible. However, given the creationist's premise that we can't be sure of anything without knowing everything there is no way for us to know whether the Bible is actually the Word of God.


2.bp.blogspot.com
2012-11-22 02:47:27 AM  
1 votes:

reklamfox: SevenizGud: Even more awkward will be when the little shiat descends to hell to burn in agony for all eternity.

That's what always made God so unappealing to me... only a total penis would give mankind the gift of free will, then punish us for all eternity for not using it exactly how he wants us to. That's just a cruel joke and it makes me think that the Christian god is a total shiathead for setting us all up for failure.

/Also, I'm pretty sure its cheating if your rule book is totally unclear
//Slashies


Free will is from the Devil. Adam and Eve were blissfully stupid until that snake made them eat the apple. Then God jumped out from behind a bush and yelled "Gotcha!" and kicked their asses to the curb. You'd think eating apples would be a sin
2012-11-22 02:35:20 AM  
1 votes:

RedPhoenix122: SevenizGud: Even more awkward will be when the little shiat descends to hell to burn in agony for all eternity.

But enough about the creationist.


Thank God nobody mentioned the banana nightmare.
2012-11-22 02:35:11 AM  
1 votes:

SevenizGud: Even more awkward will be when the little shiat descends to hell to burn in agony for all eternity.


Naw, hell has been in a cooling trend for the past 15 years. By the time the kid gets there it will probably have frozen over already.
2012-11-22 02:29:38 AM  
1 votes:

cyberspacedout: Ed Finnerty: If God doesn't exist, who is making me type this?

I am.

It's called psychokinesis. Look it up.


He can't look it up --- unless you make him.
2012-11-22 02:27:04 AM  
1 votes:

strobe: Time is cubed


When the Sun shines upon Earth, 2 - major Time points are created on opposite sides of Earth - known as Midday and Midnight. Where the 2 major Time forces join, synergy creates 2 new minor Time points we recognize as Sunup and Sundown. The 4-equidistant Time points can be considered as Time Square imprinted upon the circle of Earth. In a single rotation of the Earth sphere, each Time corner point rotates through the other 3-corner Time points, thus creating 16 corners, 96 hours and 4-simultaneous 24 hour Days within a single rotation of Earth - equated to a Higher Order of Life Time Cube.
2012-11-22 02:21:56 AM  
1 votes:
gremlin1: These things drive me crazy. I am not an atheist but I agree with their right to not believe in God.
However I believe in God (not organized religion)and have no trouble believing in science. I find the idea of a 9000 year old Earth ridiculous and I believe God set off the Big Bang and then sat back to see how it goes.


One common argument I always see is that the universe is too complicated to have occurred via chance, so something must have created it.

Why does the Big Bang need someone to "set it off", why couldn't the universe exist on its own without requiring a creator?

If complexity is the reason, then wouldn't that same complexity apply to a deity? (IE, God is too complicated to have occurred via chance, so something must have created it.).

And that just results in a logical loop (if God is complicated, then whatever created god must also be complicated, and thus must also require a creator, and so on and so on).

Whereas, the universe just existing, without requiring any sort of creator, is much more logical to me.

// in short, it's turtles all the way down
2012-11-22 02:17:20 AM  
1 votes:

eraser8: There's also a term for those who think the whole argument is pointless and isn't worth discussing...but, it eludes me at the moment (too many beers).


Apatheism. It's called apatheism.
2012-11-22 02:16:17 AM  
1 votes:
Even more awkward will be when the little shiat descends to hell to burn in agony for all eternity.
2012-11-22 02:16:17 AM  
1 votes:
indeed. pocket ninja is our god. go find your own!
2012-11-22 02:14:36 AM  
1 votes:

Lionel Mandrake: So, basically:


Yeah, but change "believe" to "know" and assert admission of fallibility is a weakness.

Decados: Pocket Ninja: Mike_LowELL: I guess I must be watching a different video than you guys. I just saw an intelligent, mature adult destroy a whiny kid in a debate. In other words, a Republican exchanged ideas with a Democrat. Lol.


See, vocalized pauses are like a clinch in boxing...it's what a defeated opponent does to buy himself time. I've often thought about studying linguistics, and that's a fact of the science.
.

Can't even begin to tell you how wrong you are about that. I would I mean, but you wouldn't buy it. Please though... quote a few 'sources' which back up your 'fact'.


You must be new here. Pocket Ninja is one of the greatest among us, we are all better when he deigns to post.
2012-11-22 02:14:10 AM  
1 votes:

eraser8: gremlin1: I believe God set off the Big Bang and then sat back to see how it goes.

Why?

Serious question, by the way.

I asked a similar question earlier in the day...and, just as I said then, I'm not asking to argue with you or demean your beliefs. I just want to understand.


Because reasoning minds generated from an ancient, massive universe capable of producing self replicating chemical compounds are much better geared to explore the creation, and by doing such, seek out the Creator.

Unthinking automatons created from mud by magic will more than likely be lost looking for an invisible sky wizard.
2012-11-22 02:14:04 AM  
1 votes:

Yogimus: strobe: Time is cubed

would be awesome if he was right.


You worship Satanic impostor guised by educators as 1 god.

Opposite Creation dooms human singularity. There's no human entity, only corner Cubics,
rotating life's 4 corner stage metamorphosis.
2012-11-22 02:10:38 AM  
1 votes:
My reaction to creationist douchebag logic:
www.startrek.com
2012-11-22 02:09:45 AM  
1 votes:

nmrsnr: Benevolent Misanthrope: What the god-pushing f*ckwit was trying to express is a fundamentally held belief among Christians who have examined their faith: You cannot prove god, but you cannot know anything unless it is revealed to you by god. Even if you don't acknowledge god's existence, god exists because if he didn't you wouldn't be sentient.

Circular reasoning at its best. And this guy can't even express his own flawed reasoning. Probably because he's perfectly content living an unexamined life.

I heard it a little differently, but that may be because of an actual conversation I had with my uber-religious freshman year roommate. His argument (and the one I think that was attempted here) is this:

1) You admit that you may be wrong about what you perceive (any scientist worth their salt will admit as much, like the child's father).
2) Since you admit that you cannot, with 100% certainty, claim absolute knowledge of the Universe, you admit that it is possible that god exists.
3) On the other hand, were there a perfect being with perfect knowledge, and he revealed it to you, you wouldn't have any uncertainty about the universe, since the perfect being revealed knowledge to you. (This is the guy in the video's 2+2=4 analogy)
4) Since the Bible is the revealed word of the perfect being that is god, I have no uncertainty about god's existence.


When he reached #4, you should have referred him back to #1, and then went and got some White Castle while he tried to figure it out.
2012-11-22 02:07:28 AM  
1 votes:

Mike_LowELL: I guess I must be watching a different video than you guys. I just saw an intelligent, mature adult destroy a whiny kid in a debate. In other words, a Republican exchanged ideas with a Democrat. Lol.


As long as you're talking about maturity and not chronological age, sure.
2012-11-22 02:05:36 AM  
1 votes:
Meh, you guys missed the part after the video ends; basically, jebus rides a velociraptor, with a Romney/Ryan bumper sticker on its tail, down a rainbow and strikes down the lil' commie where she stands. It was awesome.

/ oh, I almost forgot; Jebus was playing the "America, Fark Yeah!" song on his electric guitar.

// I keed, I keed
2012-11-22 02:05:15 AM  
1 votes:

Pocket Ninja: Mike_LowELL: I guess I must be watching a different video than you guys. I just saw an intelligent, mature adult destroy a whiny kid in a debate. In other words, a Republican exchanged ideas with a Democrat. Lol.


See, vocalized pauses are like a clinch in boxing...it's what a defeated opponent does to buy himself time. I've often thought about studying linguistics, and that's a fact of the science.
.


Can't even begin to tell you how wrong you are about that. I would I mean, but you wouldn't buy it. Please though... quote a few 'sources' which back up your 'fact'.
2012-11-22 02:01:11 AM  
1 votes:

Ambivalence: How come agnostics are never represented in these debates. I have some pretty good arguments why the entire question of whether God exists or doesn't farking matter.


Well, think about the task you've just posed---getting someone to give a shiat enough about the issue to show and ask, "Who gives a shiat?"
2012-11-22 02:00:28 AM  
1 votes:
a concept by which we measure our pain
-johann lenin
2012-11-22 01:58:32 AM  
1 votes:

Ambivalence: How come agnostics are never represented in these debates. I have some pretty good arguments why the entire question of whether God exists or doesn't farking matter.


because the atheists would spend all of their time telling the agnostic that he's really an atheist and he's just afraid to admit it.

The creationist would spend all of their time telling the agnostic that he's really a christian and he's just afraid to admit it.

the agnostic would spend all of their time rolling their eyes.
2012-11-22 01:56:44 AM  
1 votes:

nmrsnr: Benevolent Misanthrope: What the god-pushing f*ckwit was trying to express is a fundamentally held belief among Christians who have examined their faith: You cannot prove god, but you cannot know anything unless it is revealed to you by god. Even if you don't acknowledge god's existence, god exists because if he didn't you wouldn't be sentient.

Circular reasoning at its best. And this guy can't even express his own flawed reasoning. Probably because he's perfectly content living an unexamined life.

I heard it a little differently, but that may be because of an actual conversation I had with my uber-religious freshman year roommate. His argument (and the one I think that was attempted here) is this:

1) You admit that you may be wrong about what you perceive (any scientist worth their salt will admit as much, like the child's father).
2) Since you admit that you cannot, with 100% certainty, claim absolute knowledge of the Universe, you admit that it is possible that god exists.
3) On the other hand, were there a perfect being with perfect knowledge, and he revealed it to you, you wouldn't have any uncertainty about the universe, since the perfect being revealed knowledge to you. (This is the guy in the video's 2+2=4 analogy)
4) Since the Bible is the revealed word of the perfect being that is god, I have no uncertainty about god's existence.
5) Since I have no uncertainty, that proves that the revelation came from god. While your uncertainty allows for god to exist, my certainty does not allow for god to not exist, therefore god must exist, because I am certain of his existence. QED

I leave it as an exercise for the reader to find the logical flaws in that argument (I couldn't get my roommate to see them, though).



So, basically:

www.lookingforpurpose.com

I would add this corollary:

SHUT UP!! SHUT UP!! SHUT UP!!! LA LA LA LA LA! NOT LISTENING!! LA LA LA LA LAAAAA!!!! 
2012-11-22 01:54:05 AM  
1 votes:

Porous Horace: I've been outwitted by sixth graders in Brockway, Ogdenville and North Haverbrook and by gum has it been that many years since that episode first aired?


Did they sell you a bona fide, electrified, six-car monorail?
2012-11-22 01:45:54 AM  
1 votes:
The best part about having faith is that it does not require constant validation through argument.
2012-11-22 12:27:33 AM  
1 votes:
If God doesn't exist, who is making me type this?
2012-11-21 10:15:55 PM  
1 votes:
How come agnostics are never represented in these debates. I have some pretty good arguments why the entire question of whether God exists or doesn't farking matter.
2012-11-21 10:09:59 PM  
1 votes:
The creationist's premise is that unless you know everything you can't be sure that anything is true unless someone who knows everything tells you so.

As such, since I don't know everything I can't be sure that God exists unless It tells me so Itself. I assume the creationist believes that God communicates with people through the Bible. However, given the creationist's premise that we can't be sure of anything without knowing everything there is no way for us to know whether the Bible is actually the Word of God.
2012-11-21 09:50:22 PM  
1 votes:
These things drive me crazy. I am not an atheist but I agree with their right to not believe in God.
However I believe in God (not organized religion)and have no trouble believing in science. I find the idea of a 9000 year old Earth ridiculous and I believe God set off the Big Bang and then sat back to see how it goes.
2012-11-21 09:42:48 PM  
1 votes:
I don't think creationist guy knows enough to state the question, but he seems to be saying that one can't prove God does not exist, which requires proving a negative, without knowing "everything", which would allow one to know that "everything" doesn't include God. Mr. Creationist conflates evasion and stopping the debate with with "winning". In his halting, unsophisticated nattering, he is, indeed, completely outflanked by Atheist Kid. The whole mess proves only that Mr. Creationist is full of sh*t, and that Atheist Kid is smarter and more articulate than he.
 
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