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(KSAT San Antonio)   Home invasion involves ____ people with ______. a) two, rifles. b) three, pistols. c) ten, machetes   (ksat.com) divider line 81
    More: Scary, home invasions, Alametos, Chevy Suburban, North Side, PlayStation  
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5846 clicks; posted to Main » on 21 Nov 2012 at 8:25 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-11-21 08:27:37 PM  
Twos?
 
2012-11-21 08:29:47 PM  
Danny Trejo seen fleeing the scene.
 
2012-11-21 08:32:22 PM  
Lets ban and regulate machetes! They are used by violent criminals.
 
2012-11-21 08:33:12 PM  

Indubitably: Twos?


Texas? Dos, si, dos.
 
2012-11-21 08:34:28 PM  
To write
 
2012-11-21 08:36:14 PM  
I was told there would be no math.
 
2012-11-21 08:37:11 PM  
Sounds like a story a fourteen year old would make up.
 
2012-11-21 08:38:37 PM  
This is why I have a ____ with _____ rounds loaded at all times in my house. a) .45, 15
 
2012-11-21 08:39:26 PM  

The Beatings Will Continue Until Morale Improves: I was told there would be no math.


The two main rules of FARK:

1) Whenever anyone tells you there will be no math, there will always be math.
2) AVOID THE POLITICS TAB!
 
2012-11-21 08:39:35 PM  

Nina_Hartley's_Ass: Sounds like a story a fourteen year old would make up.


I did.

I called it Maniac on 54th Street, or some such street...
 
Qel
2012-11-21 08:39:42 PM  
Wasn't this an episode of Law and Order with Whoopi Goldberg
 
2012-11-21 08:40:40 PM  

Qel: Wasn't this an episode of Law and Order with Whoopi Goldberg


Nope, this is now.
 
2012-11-21 08:41:57 PM  

Qel: Wasn't this an episode of Law and Order with Whoopi Goldberg


Wait six weeks and it will be.
 
2012-11-21 08:42:39 PM  
San Antonio police said they also cut the teen on the left arm. The 14-year-old was treated at the scene by paramedics.

Pretty sucky machete skillz.
 
2012-11-21 08:43:24 PM  
cinemaknifefight.files.wordpress.com

/mmmmmm boobs
//boobs
 
2012-11-21 08:44:47 PM  

StoPPeRmobile: San Antonio police said they also cut the teen on the left arm. The 14-year-old was treated at the scene by paramedics.

Pretty sucky machete skillz.


Yes. If you are going to attack someone with a machete, the other guy should be nothing but shredded long pork.
 
2012-11-21 08:44:48 PM  
split the take they couldn't get Taco Bell.

/plan ahead, morans
 
2012-11-21 08:45:44 PM  

ClavellBCMI: Qel: Wasn't this an episode of Law and Order with Whoopi Goldberg

Wait six weeks and it will be.


Comma error.

OK, I've had enough of this lazy habit. Commas are breaths not style. Please bring back the comma before a conjunction predicated by a statement. Thank you.
 
2012-11-21 08:48:21 PM  
Sounds like a bad joke:

How many hoodrats does it take to steal a playstation?

Ten, apparently.

Although I'll bet there was some other "property" that got stolen that didn't get reported to the police.
 
2012-11-21 08:51:48 PM  
And my wife laughed at me when I bought a Saiga-12 and half a dozen 8-round magazines.

/actually, she was fine with it
 
2012-11-21 08:54:04 PM  
I haven't been machete shopping recently, but wouldn't a large group of people amassing an arsenal of 10 machetes kind of stand out?

I mean let's say they're planning this, and it turns out 5 of the 10 have machetes lying around. Do the other 5 go to the machete district down on east side of town and split up to the 3 or 4 stores that carry machetes (you know, so it doesn't seem suspicious)? Maybe, if they space out the purchases...?...
 
2012-11-21 08:54:26 PM  
collider.com
 
2012-11-21 08:55:44 PM  

remus: This is why I have a ____ with _____ rounds loaded at all times in my house. a) .45, 15


Great for when the home invaders give you a call beforehand to tell you what time they will be invading.
 
2012-11-21 08:55:53 PM  

remus: This is why I have a ____ with _____ rounds loaded at all times in my house. a) .45, 15


What if they're machete-wielding ninjas?.
 
2012-11-21 08:56:59 PM  
{GunGrabberLibralDouche}
"Whine, but why do you need a rifle with a 30 round magazine?!?! Whine"
{/GunGrabberLiberalDouche}
 
2012-11-21 08:58:03 PM  

KrispyKritter: split the take they couldn't get Taco Bell.

/plan ahead, morans


My first thought as well.

clyph: Sounds like a bad joke:

How many hoodrats does it take to steal a playstation?

Ten, apparently.

Although I'll bet there was some other "property" that got stolen that didn't get reported to the police.


I hope so. I mean petty theft is one thing, but ten people to steal a PlayStation and some TVs is just ridiculous.
 
2012-11-21 09:00:02 PM  
Mara Salvatrucha M.O.
 
2012-11-21 09:00:05 PM  

Begoggle: remus: This is why I have a ____ with _____ rounds loaded at all times in my house. a) .45, 15

Great for when the home invaders give you a call beforehand to tell you what time they will be invading.


Did you miss the "at all times" part of the sentence? Is reading comprehension an issue?
 
2012-11-21 09:00:17 PM  
I need detail were there 10 machetes or did the ten guys pass one around?
 
2012-11-21 09:02:59 PM  
chaosweaver:

Danny Trejo seen fleeing the scene.

Not as far-fetched as you may think
 
2012-11-21 09:06:39 PM  
d) black, watermelons

/runs
 
2012-11-21 09:07:06 PM  
That 's why I always keep a machete or two around me at all times
 
2012-11-21 09:09:23 PM  

cannonman1863: That 's why I always keep a machete or two around me at all times


This.

Well, not really because of this. But I do happen to have one within reach of my desk.

Because of reasons.
 
2012-11-21 09:12:02 PM  
As I long as I've got fido and rover loaded with bees I think I'll be ok.
 
2012-11-21 09:16:06 PM  

Qel: Wasn't this an episode of Law and Order with Whoopi Goldberg


L&O CI with her adopted boys
 
2012-11-21 09:19:58 PM  

DrRatchet: cannonman1863: That 's why I always keep a machete or two around me at all times

This.

Well, not really because of this. But I do happen to have one within reach of my desk.

Because of reasons zombies.


FTFY


/Me too
 
2012-11-21 09:23:35 PM  
e. Mole, neuro whips.
 
2012-11-21 09:26:39 PM  
But remember, there's no reason a civilian would ever need an "assault-style" weapon.
 
2012-11-21 09:27:20 PM  

Loucifer: e. Mole, neuro whips.


*bow*
 
2012-11-21 09:28:11 PM  

Indubitably: Loucifer: e. Mole, neuro whips.

*bow*

?

 
2012-11-21 09:30:28 PM  
Machetes are effective, makes the other guy think you're a crazy motherfarker.

/csb
Guy flew around a corner as I pulled out of an alley, I laid on the horn. Fella stops, gets out of his car as he grabs a tire iron from behind his seat screaming about how he was "gonna fark you up!"

Get out of truck, grab machete from under the seat and turn around. Guy about shiats himself as he screams about how crazy of a motherfarker I am as he runs back to his car and how "I'll be ready fo youz next time!"
 
2012-11-21 09:32:04 PM  
To Machete
 
2012-11-21 09:39:43 PM  
 
2012-11-21 09:42:54 PM  

ClavellBCMI: StoPPeRmobile: San Antonio police said they also cut the teen on the left arm. The 14-year-old was treated at the scene by paramedics.

Pretty sucky machete skillz.

Yes. If you are going to attack someone with a machete, the other guy should be nothing but shredded long pork.


If they bought the Chinese made ones from their local Walmart I'm impressed that they did anything more than bruise the kid.
Everyone knows you don't buy Chinese unless a non Chinese first world country does QC (some Spyderco and Cold Steel blades, for example). Or Pakistani steel ever.
 
2012-11-21 09:49:09 PM  
I'm sure many Dead-Eye Magoo Farkers on here would have coolly lit up the room and taken all 10 down without a single scratch. Being out numbered doesn't matter so long as you have enough bullets, amiright.

/a knife is more effective than a gun //10 big knives
 
2012-11-21 10:02:32 PM  
This happened to a guy I went to high school with, only it was during a Parent-Teacher evening.
 
2012-11-21 10:02:35 PM  

SanjiSasuke: I'm sure many Dead-Eye Magoo Farkers on here would have coolly lit up the room and taken all 10 down without a single scratch. Being out numbered doesn't matter so long as you have enough bullets, amiright.

/a knife is more effective than a gun //10 big knives


7 yards. Run and turn drills.

Though 1st rule of a knife fight, you're gonna get cut.
 
2012-11-21 10:41:00 PM  
Machetes? Pfft! Amateurs...

i1231.photobucket.com
 
2012-11-21 11:08:11 PM  

vactech: I haven't been machete shopping recently, but wouldn't a large group of people amassing an arsenal of 10 machetes kind of stand out?

I mean let's say they're planning this, and it turns out 5 of the 10 have machetes lying around. Do the other 5 go to the machete district down on east side of town and split up to the 3 or 4 stores that carry machetes (you know, so it doesn't seem suspicious)? Maybe, if they space out the purchases...?...


In a metro area with two million people? No, it won't be noticed. I'm pretty sure more than 10 people in this city have bought machetes today. Hopefully most of them are not planning home invasions.
 
2012-11-21 11:09:36 PM  

fusillade762: d) black, watermelons

/runs


I was thinking black machetes
 
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