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(NYPost)   According to new survey, more Americans would rather have Thanksgiving dinner with Tim Tebow than Big Bird or Lady Gaga. Oh and Mr. President, maybe next year   (nypost.com) divider line 143
    More: Amusing, Big Bird, Tim Tebow, Lady Gaga, Thanksgiving, Americans, Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade, Thanksgiving dinner  
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2450 clicks; posted to Main » on 21 Nov 2012 at 2:38 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



143 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2012-11-21 02:19:25 PM  
Great, you know he's gonna do that thing while saying grace.
 
2012-11-21 02:23:33 PM  
This is an actual survey? Conducted by whom? The institute for potato questions?
 
2012-11-21 02:27:50 PM  

BSABSVR: This is an actual survey? Conducted by whom? The institute for potato questions?


NY Post, so yes?
 
2012-11-21 02:29:28 PM  
I plan to have a Big Bird over for dinner tomorrow

/Tebow can suck it
 
2012-11-21 02:30:08 PM  
Thanksgiving with Tebow would be nigh intolerable. I barely have room in my heart for the annoyance at the 10-second hypocritical sham of a prayer I already endure from my family before Thanksgiving dinner.
 
2012-11-21 02:40:37 PM  
I'd show Tebow how to stuff the turkey, and by stuff the turkey, I mean anal.
/I mean, it's not like I'd take his virginity or anything. That's just RUDE.
 
2012-11-21 02:41:10 PM  
Shee-it. I'd rather have George Bush over for Thanksgiving than some sports star. It's bound to be more interesting.
 
2012-11-21 02:42:37 PM  

MaudlinMutantMollusk: I plan to have a Big Bird over for dinner tomorrow

/Tebow can suck it


Newsletter, good sir.
 
2012-11-21 02:42:41 PM  

cryinoutloud: Shee-it. I'd rather have George Bush over for Thanksgiving than some sports star. It's bound to be more interesting.


I find myself remembering the scene with Dubya in the Harold and Kumar films.
 
2012-11-21 02:43:18 PM  
24.media.tumblr.com
 
2012-11-21 02:43:41 PM  
I'd rather have Henry Rollins, Ted Nugent, Michelle Maddow, and S.E Cupp in my table.

Should be fun.
 
2012-11-21 02:44:17 PM  

slackwater: [24.media.tumblr.com image 550x377]


Don't they know about the internet?.
 
2012-11-21 02:44:48 PM  
Turkey day dinner with Lady Gaga would be... different.

/I think I'd enjoy it
//be worth it just to see how she dresses for the occasion
 
2012-11-21 02:45:23 PM  
I will never, ever understand America's fascination with celebrities.
 
2012-11-21 02:45:26 PM  
I'm pretty farking sure Carroll Spinney or Stefani Germanotta would have a lot more interesting things to say about life, the universe and everything than Mr. Attention Whore football player would.
 
2012-11-21 02:45:28 PM  

slackwater: [24.media.tumblr.com image 550x377]


IF IT'S "BLACK FRIDAY" HOW COMS THERE ARE WHITE FOLKS IN TEH PIKCHUR?!?!
 
2012-11-21 02:45:48 PM  
Between the three first listed, hell, I'd rather have Thanksgiving with my family.
 
2012-11-21 02:48:28 PM  
Having Tebow over would be great. My family would mock him and dish out shiat the entire time. Way more entertaining then the others.
 
2012-11-21 02:50:03 PM  

CygnusDarius: I'd rather have Henry Rollins, Ted Nugent, Michelle Maddow, and S.E Cupp in my table.

Should be fun.


I wouldn't mind S.E. Cupp (with a ball gag) on my table.
 
2012-11-21 02:51:25 PM  

CygnusDarius: I'd rather have Henry Rollins, Ted Nugent, Michelle Maddow, and S.E Cupp in my table.

Should be fun.


Who the hell is Michelle Maddow?

\I'd like Richard Feynman to stop by for Thanksgiving, please.
\\if he was still alive, that is
 
2012-11-21 02:52:20 PM  
Yeah, I always figured about 25% of Americans were complete idiots, so this doesn't surprise me.
 
2012-11-21 02:53:22 PM  

CygnusDarius


I'd rather have Henry Rollins, Ted Nugent, Michelle Maddow, and S.E Cupp in my table.


Any relation to Rachel Maddow?
 
2012-11-21 02:53:23 PM  

Your_Midnight_Man: CygnusDarius: I'd rather have Henry Rollins, Ted Nugent, Michelle Maddow, and S.E Cupp in my table.

Should be fun.

I wouldn't mind S.E. Cupp (with a ball gag) on my table.


Call the gimp.
 
2012-11-21 02:54:02 PM  

CheekyMonkey: CygnusDarius: I'd rather have Henry Rollins, Ted Nugent, Michelle Maddow, and S.E Cupp in my table.

Should be fun.

Who the hell is Michelle Maddow?

\I'd like Richard Feynman to stop by for Thanksgiving, please.
\\if he was still alive, that is


Englebert Slaptyback: CygnusDarius

I'd rather have Henry Rollins, Ted Nugent, Michelle Maddow, and S.E Cupp in my table.


Any relation to Rachel Maddow?


It's Rachel Maddow's shorter, angrier sister.

/lol
 
2012-11-21 02:54:55 PM  
Tebow would be a horrible Thanksgiving guest. For you see he is very bad at passing a football, and by extension he would be terrible at passing dishes around the table. Ha. Ha. Ha.
 
2012-11-21 02:54:56 PM  
I'd fire up the blender and invite Stephen Hawking to thanksgiving.
 
2012-11-21 02:56:02 PM  
I'd like to have Geeorge Strombolopolous over for thanksgiving. He's hot and has met loads of interesting people on his show. Plus he used to be a veejay for Much when it was still MuchMusic
 
2012-11-21 02:56:33 PM  
What sick son-of-a-biatch would invite Big Bird to a turkey dinner?
 
2012-11-21 02:56:53 PM  
I'd stuff Lady Gaga.
 
2012-11-21 02:56:59 PM  
Another interesting guest at Thanksgiving would be -if we somehow manage to reanimate the corpse- George Carlin.
 
2012-11-21 02:57:03 PM  
I'd rather have Jesus and George Carlin over, because honestly I think they'd get along really, really well.

And maybe Kirk Cameron, so Jesus and George could mock him the whole time, but in that way that Kirk would think they liked him and were agreeing, when really they were just giggling behind his back the whole time. And Jesus would turn Kirk's water into wine after he drank it, and suddenly Kirk would be fumbling around the living room, drunker than Lootie.

And of course, while Kirk is passed out on the sofa, Jesus would shave a strip down his head and Carlin would draw a giant p-nis on his face! And then we would play BattleShots and Balderdash. And Jesus would kick ass at both of them.
 
2012-11-21 02:57:18 PM  

A Shambling Mound: I will never, ever understand America's fascination with celebrities.



Judging by their love of tabloids, I'd say the Brits are even worse.
 
2012-11-21 02:57:19 PM  
Brought to you by the "Discovery Channel" and Neilson Ratings.

That explains SOOO MUCH. /sigh
 
2012-11-21 02:57:43 PM  
Having Big Bird over for Thanksgiving dinner would just be cruel.
Lady Gaga would probably show up wearing the turkey, and that would get awkward fast.
I'd have no problem with having Obama over. The legion of screaming Tea Partiers following him around to berate him for "impositing on AMERICAN's hospitaly" (spelling, grammar, and capitalization theirs) are another matter entirely.
Tebow... well, I guess if said grace or something, that might be kind of cool. Otherwise, I can't say I feel one way or the other.
 
2012-11-21 02:58:02 PM  

UtileDysfunktion: Turkey day dinner with Lady Gaga would be... different.

/I think I'd enjoy it
//be worth it just to see how she dresses for the occasion



You know, the more I think about this the more I'm liking the idea.

Hey Steffi! If you're not doing anything tomorrow, c'mon over!

/hell, I'll even rent a piano for the day
 
2012-11-21 02:58:15 PM  

EyeballKid: What sick son-of-a-biatch would invite Big Bird to a turkey dinner?


The Swedish Chef...

/don't you remember the multi muppetverse holiday special?
 
2012-11-21 02:58:57 PM  

UtileDysfunktion: Turkey day dinner with Lady Gaga would be... different.

/I think I'd enjoy it

//be worth it just to see how she dresses for the occasion


www.hojohnlee.com
 
2012-11-21 02:59:17 PM  

CheekyMonkey: CygnusDarius: I'd rather have Henry Rollins, Ted Nugent, Michelle Maddow, and S.E Cupp in my table.

Should be fun.

Who the hell is Michelle Maddow?


The fanfic-baby of Michelle Malkin and Rachel Maddow?
 
2012-11-21 02:59:19 PM  
Michael Bay with be... Interesting, just don't let him anywhere near the kitchen.
 
2012-11-21 02:59:23 PM  
Well yeah. We already had President Obama over for a prior fantasy thanksgiving. Lady Gaga would wear the dinner, Big Bird would be the dinner, so that leaves Tebow. Hey, it's the one day when even most people who don't say grace say grace, and it would prevent him from contributing to the Jets' suckage later that day. I like it; Tebow it is.
 
2012-11-21 02:59:24 PM  

CygnusDarius


It's Rachel Maddow's shorter, angrier sister.

/lol


You might be thinking of Janeane Garofalo.


:-)
 
2012-11-21 02:59:46 PM  

Jackson Herring: Tebow would be a horrible Thanksgiving guest. For you see he is very bad at passing a football, and by extension he would be terrible at passing dishes around the table. Ha. Ha. Ha.


He would carve the turkey like he carves up defenses, which is to say, he wouldn't be able to do it well at all! Ha. Ha. Ha.
 
2012-11-21 03:00:46 PM  
I'd like to invite the bass player from the Pixies. There are probably many better technical players, but she just seems cool, hubby can come to!
 
2012-11-21 03:00:55 PM  

INeedAName: I'd rather have Jesus and George Carlin over, because honestly I think they'd get along really, really well.

And maybe Kirk Cameron, so Jesus and George could mock him the whole time, but in that way that Kirk would think they liked him and were agreeing, when really they were just giggling behind his back the whole time. And Jesus would turn Kirk's water into wine after he drank it, and suddenly Kirk would be fumbling around the living room, drunker than Lootie.

And of course, while Kirk is passed out on the sofa, Jesus would shave a strip down his head and Carlin would draw a giant p-nis on his face! And then we would play BattleShots and Balderdash. And Jesus would kick ass at both of them.


I think I love you :)
 
2012-11-21 03:01:04 PM  

The_Sponge: A Shambling Mound: I will never, ever understand America's fascination with celebrities.


Judging by their love of tabloids, I'd say the Brits are even worse.


Yeah, I suppose using the word "American" really isn't fair to all of the other celebrity obsessed morons the world over.

My mistake.
 
2012-11-21 03:01:54 PM  
too

FTFM

//Its the
//tryptophan
 
2012-11-21 03:03:13 PM  
I hope Timmy is really enjoying those earthly rewards.
 
2012-11-21 03:04:32 PM  
This would be epic...if most of these people could magically come back from the dead and they are in peak condition:

Frank Sinatra
Dean Martin
Sammy Davis Jr.
Elvis
Don Rickles
Rodney Dangerfield
Brian Johnson
Mike Ditka
 
2012-11-21 03:07:45 PM  

L.D. Ablo: Having Tebow over would be great. My family would mock him and dish out shiat the entire time. Way more entertaining then the others.



note to self... never eat at L.D. Ablo's
 
2012-11-21 03:08:52 PM  
Tim Tebow than Big Bird or Lady Gaga. Oh and Mr. President,

My order of that list:

President
Big Bird
Lady Gaga

Tebow can go fark himself and have dinner at McDonalds
 
2012-11-21 03:09:54 PM  
As nice of a guy that Tebow is supposed to be, I am sure he would punch my mom in the mouth like the rest of us want to.
 
2012-11-21 03:11:23 PM  
I'd like to have dinner with whoever (whomever?) knows the best restaurants.

/my desert island book? "How to Survive on a Desert Island"
 
2012-11-21 03:12:45 PM  

AliceBToklasLives: I'd like to have dinner with whoever (whomever?) knows the best restaurants.

/my desert island book? "How to Survive on a Desert Island"


Anthony Bourdain?.
 
2012-11-21 03:13:08 PM  
The intellectual side of me wants Jesus, Einstein, Gandhi and oh lets say Carl Sagan over for thanksgiving. Good discussion and debate on science, religion, philosophy, meaning of life. My stomach would be overly filled but also my mind's desire for intellectual stimulation. And then maybe after dinner, we could all repair to the drawing room with a glass of sherry and/or coffee and listen to a nice string quartet or some jazz music.

OTOH, I also would rather just have my latest Asian pron star infatuation Evelyn Lin over for thanksgiving. Her wearing a nice tight one piece creme colored spandex mini skirt outfit and a g-string underneath. We could make some initial moronic small talk ("so how did you get into the industry?", "what do your parents think of your career choice?") and eat turkey.

Or just skip all that shiat and go straight to some serious monkey sex.

I'm favoring the latter on reflection.
 
2012-11-21 03:13:33 PM  

exick: Thanksgiving with Tebow would be nigh intolerable. I barely have room in my heart for the annoyance at the 10-second hypocritical sham of a prayer I already endure from my family before Thanksgiving dinner.


Eh, at least it seems Tebow practices what he preaches. I mean, you gotta respect the man off the field.

I never got the Tebow-hate (other than the fact he is a sub-par QB). The guy seems like a class act off the field.
 
2012-11-21 03:14:07 PM  

cryinoutloud: Shee-it. I'd rather have George Bush over for Thanksgiving than some sports star. It's bound to be more interesting.


Hitler.
 
2012-11-21 03:14:22 PM  
Who wants to eat with Obama. His skank ass wife would make green beans the main course, and ration it.
 
2012-11-21 03:14:54 PM  
Rather have Obama. The guy would be able to hold up his end of the conversation.
Tebow would spend too much time on grace, when we all want to eat.

//and can you imagine watching the game with Tebow?
 
2012-11-21 03:17:19 PM  
I'd invite Benito Mussolini and Vladimir Putin.

After dinner they could wrestle.
 
2012-11-21 03:17:29 PM  
Tebow would be okay.

I could thank him for booting the Steelers from the playoffs last season, and then he can give me judgmental looks as I get hammered on pumpkin ales and red wine.
 
2012-11-21 03:19:59 PM  

cryinoutloud: Shee-it. I'd rather have George Bush over for Thanksgiving than some sports star. It's bound to be more interesting.


Honestly, I would have to agree. Any current/former president would be interesting to sit down with for a few hours.

/Goes for most world leaders as well.
 
2012-11-21 03:20:16 PM  
My first choice would be dinner with Wallace Shawn.
 
2012-11-21 03:22:06 PM  

UtileDysfunktion: Turkey day dinner with Lady Gaga would be... different.

/I think I'd enjoy it
//be worth it just to see how she dresses for the occasion


He'd probably rock out with his cawk out.
 
2012-11-21 03:22:40 PM  
64% of men said they were most looking forward to watching football on TV

Am I living in a different version of reality than the one this poll is from? Of all the people I've ever known, not that many even have televisions, let alone care about football. I certainly don't.

Maybe this was just a really terrible multiple choice question?
 
2012-11-21 03:22:40 PM  
Neither of those are real!
 
2012-11-21 03:23:48 PM  
I would go with Gaga because she's fairly hot and I don't give a rats ass about football or Sesame Street.
 
2012-11-21 03:25:16 PM  

Sticky Hands: L.D. Ablo: Having Tebow over would be great. My family would mock him and dish out shiat the entire time. Way more entertaining then the others.


note to self... never eat at L.D. Ablo's


Note to self: find a way to get invited to L.D. Ablo's.
 
2012-11-21 03:25:18 PM  

Jument: I would go with Gaga because she's fairly hot



o_O
 
2012-11-21 03:28:08 PM  
Unless they're driving me home, I wouldn't want to invite a teetotaler to Thanksgiving. Otherwise I'm sure Tebow would be fine, though he would no doubt put a major dent in the leftover inventory.

Lady Gaga is pretty and slight, but there is the extreme attention whoring problem that she might not be able to turn off. She might also be put off by me, a musician that has only heard like two of her songs maybe five times total.

Big Bird? As others have said: cruel.

Obama: yeah that would go over GREAT with my in-laws, although if I could spend some time again with them using the bible to prove that he is definitely NOT the Antichrist it might go better.
 
2012-11-21 03:28:21 PM  
Susan Tedeschi ,Willie Nelson,and ZZ Top.Great stories,music,and smoke.
Oh yes,BBQ,potato salad,and pecan pie.
 
2012-11-21 03:30:54 PM  

GreatGlavinsGhost: Sticky Hands: L.D. Ablo: Having Tebow over would be great. My family would mock him and dish out shiat the entire time. Way more entertaining then the others.


note to self... never eat at L.D. Ablo's

Note to self: find a way to get invited to L.D. Ablo's.


note to self: Preview is my friend. double check those bold tags. Then folks will know you are making a stupid "poop: it's what's for dinner" joke, instead of not wanting to see a ball player insulted.
 
2012-11-21 03:31:17 PM  
I want to have dinner with Drew.
 
2012-11-21 03:32:12 PM  
Gaga + meat = Thank you?
 
2012-11-21 03:33:53 PM  
Thanksgiving dinner with Obama and Biden would be a farking riot, especially if we could loosen Joe up with a couple of those Presidential beers.

That being said, here's the person I'd most want to have Thanksgiving dinner with. She's cute, talented, quirky, and I have a huge fanboy crush on her:

static.tvguide.com

/I'm sure someone will point out sharp knees and all, but this video made me totally fall in love with her.
 
2012-11-21 03:34:31 PM  

MaudlinMutantMollusk: I plan to have a Big Bird over for dinner tomorrow


farm6.static.flickr.com
 
2012-11-21 03:35:41 PM  
The survey is obviously slanted.
Of the choices, Big Bird is the superior choice, though his attendance might dictate a veggie dinner. Tim Tebow is likely to recite one of those long-winded look-at-me prayers while the dinner gets cold. Lady Gaga seems like a nice enough person, but Big Bird has more humble charm. Really, who wouldn't prefer to converse with Big Bird?

The best Thanksgiving pie is sweet potato pie with pecan pie following as a close second.
 
2012-11-21 03:36:59 PM  
"Tim, will you pass....uh...actually, will you please gently hand the salt to me?"
 
2012-11-21 03:37:09 PM  
Only if he takes his shirt off.
 
2012-11-21 03:37:39 PM  
I don't know why anyone would though. He is going to be interrupting you while watching the game, talking about what he would do if he was on "america's team".
 
2012-11-21 03:39:34 PM  

UtileDysfunktion: Turkey day dinner with Lady Gaga would be... different.

/I think I'd enjoy it
//be worth it just to see how she dresses for the occasion


I suspect that she might be the table.
 
2012-11-21 03:40:30 PM  
Don't you love how the phrase "Mr. President" only seems to be used now when it's meant as a sarcastic insult?
 
2012-11-21 03:40:47 PM  

The_Sponge: This would be epic...if most of these people could magically come back from the dead and they are in peak condition:

Frank Sinatra
Dean Martin
Sammy Davis Jr.
Elvis
Don Rickles
Rodney Dangerfield
Brian Johnson
Mike Ditka


Don and Mike?

You are a cruel, cruel person
 
2012-11-21 03:41:16 PM  

hbk72777: Who wants to eat with Obama. His skank ass wife would make green beans the main course, and ration it.


You just made me swallow my Jolly Rancher. It farking hurt.
 
2012-11-21 03:43:23 PM  

Sticky Hands: I'd invite Benito Mussolini and Vladimir Putin.

After dinner they could wrestle.


Invite Putin and Berlusconni. They will wrestle instead of dinner
 
2012-11-21 03:43:52 PM  
In honor of Tebow, i'd like to say grace. "Grace".
 
2012-11-21 03:44:17 PM  
I'd rather have Thanksgiving with Lady Gag Gag.
 
2012-11-21 03:46:53 PM  
I'd invite John Madden and his turducken chef.
 
2012-11-21 03:47:09 PM  
Having Lady Bird over for dinner? Eh, why not.
 
2012-11-21 03:48:00 PM  
I would like to have dinner with the rapper behind the Friday and Thanksgiving youtube videos
/Would drug him, punch, kick, stick a rusty pipe up his arse, and cut his tongue out
 
2012-11-21 03:48:50 PM  
What's a tebow?
Is that like a spatchcock?
 
2012-11-21 03:50:51 PM  
I wouldn't mind having DePrez over for Thanksgiving. We're having turkey so it's not like he's going to eat all the chicken.
 
2012-11-21 03:52:19 PM  

uncleacid: I'd stuff Lady Gaga.


i would like to work the camera while you stuff the Gaga, then maybe have a go at her myself if she was okay with wit that.
 
2012-11-21 03:53:51 PM  

Lunaville: The survey is obviously slanted.
Of the choices, Big Bird is the superior choice, though his attendance might dictate a veggie dinner. Tim Tebow is likely to recite one of those long-winded look-at-me prayers while the dinner gets cold. Lady Gaga seems like a nice enough person, but Big Bird has more humble charm. Really, who wouldn't prefer to converse with Big Bird?

The best Thanksgiving pie is sweet potato pie with pecan pie following as a close second.


I had the opportunity several years ago to meet Caroll Spinney, the pupeteer/voice of Big Bird. Grade A class act, and he could switch between Himself, Big Bird and Oscar the Grouch on a dime. I only spoke with him for a few minutes, but it was such an amazing few minutes I would die to have enough time to eat a meal with him.

The President would be awesome too, but Spinney was part of my childhood. Given the opportunity, how could you pass that up?


/Apple pie, please
 
2012-11-21 03:54:25 PM  
Am I the only one who for some reason gets reminded of Bea Arthur every time they see Big Bird?
 
2012-11-21 03:56:00 PM  
Lady Gaga is the alternative?

Fark man, I don't want to have dinner with either of them.
 
2012-11-21 03:58:26 PM  

machoprogrammer: Am I the only one who for some reason gets reminded of Bea Arthur every time they see Big Bird?


i get reminded of urination when I see Big Bird
 
2012-11-21 04:00:40 PM  

Gosling: Don't you love how the phrase "Mr. President" only seems to be used now when it's meant as a sarcastic insult?


That'll change once we get a Republican back in the White House, the way God intended.
 
2012-11-21 04:04:38 PM  
POTATO!!!!!! 
 
2012-11-21 04:05:24 PM  

Pants full of macaroni!!: Gosling: Don't you love how the phrase "Mr. President" only seems to be used now when it's meant as a sarcastic insult?

That'll change once we get a Republican back in the White House, the way God intended.


That's assuming it isn't just moved up to "your worship" or "your highness." Something tells me the Republicans tire of this silly experiment called democracy, and they'll try to ensure the next Republican president stays in the White House longer than FDR.
 
2012-11-21 04:06:11 PM  
In all fairness.... think about how awkward it would be to serve Big Bird a turkey for dinner... not to mention if you had Lady GaGa over for dinner she would try to wear the turkey... All you have to worry about with Tebow is a prayer...
 
2012-11-21 04:15:06 PM  

CygnusDarius: I'd rather have Henry Rollins, Ted Nugent, Michelle Maddow, and S.E Cupp in my tablebed.

Should Would be fun.


FTFY
 
2012-11-21 04:45:05 PM  
Well, of course they want Big Bird for Thanksgiving dinner . . .

vinelifedt.files.wordpress.com



/ obvious
 
2012-11-21 04:48:13 PM  
Yes, because if there is one thing I've learned in the past year, believe NY Post polls.
 
2012-11-21 04:55:07 PM  

Smelly Pirate Hooker: Yeah, I always figured about 25% of Americans were complete idiots, so this doesn't surprise me.


Ah yes, the "one-in-five (or close enough) Americans" rule.

20-25% of Americans:
- Can't find US on a map.
- Think the world is flat.
- Approved of President Bush in 2008.
- Think the sun revolves around Earth
- Would invite Tim Tebow over for Thanksgiving.

etc.
 
2012-11-21 05:02:44 PM  
whofarkingcares.jpg
 
2012-11-21 05:06:02 PM  

machoprogrammer: exick: Thanksgiving with Tebow would be nigh intolerable. I barely have room in my heart for the annoyance at the 10-second hypocritical sham of a prayer I already endure from my family before Thanksgiving dinner.

Eh, at least it seems Tebow practices what he preaches. I mean, you gotta respect the man off the field.

I never got the Tebow-hate (other than the fact he is a sub-par QB). The guy seems like a class act off the field.


As a reformed Tebow hater, let me shed some light.

Short Answer: ESPN.
Long Answer: The sports media industry that has realized human interest stories draw more ratings than competent play.

I watch way too much ESPN and I've finally got it through my skull that the best ratings potential are discussions on bad teams from major markets and QB controversies.

The Cowboys, Redskins, Eagles, and now Bears get a lot of chatter for being major market teams with issues. Nobody talks about he endless dumpster fire that is Cleveland, Cincinnati, KC, or Jacksonville. They're too small to get the eyeballs.

Similarly, there isn't much talk about competent major market teams. The only Falcons controversy is "can they win in the playoffs". And I can't tell you anything about the Texans. They have no glaring storylines so there's nothing to talk about.

The Jets have it all. A lousy major market team, primadonna players, a loudmouth head coach, and a QB controversy. It's the perfect soap opera.

Meanwhile, I hear that Manning fellow is doing alright in Denver.

On the plus side, this is great for Tim's after football career. He'll have oodles of casual fans and persecuted Christians to feel a kinship for a guy who "never got a fair shake" after those wins last year. If only coaches had seen the wisdom of Skip Bayless and put him in the game. He'll probably do good things helping people in Burma. Hopefully he brings more food than Bibles, but he probably can get more people to care about global poverty, which is nice.

Sincerely,
Reformed Tebow Hater

PS. Bite me Skip Bayless
 
2012-11-21 05:16:14 PM  
I'd rather have Thanksgiving Dinner with Joe Walsh*. You know he'd be fun ;)

i49.tinypic.com

* Favorite Joe quote: "It's really ... HARD ... to meditate ... on amphetamines."
 
2012-11-21 05:20:48 PM  
- 64% of men said they were most looking forward to watching football on TV, with 43% of women preferring the Macy's Thanksgiving Day parade.

Does this sentence give anyone else a headache? Even as far as BS statistics goes, it's just awkward. Too many variables, not enough data points.

Was the whole thing multiple choice or something? If you walked up to a random American and asked them who they'd like to have to Thanksgiving, I doubt an appreciable number would come up with "Big Bird" on their own. Not even the kids; the kids would say Elmo.

I can't even think of one celebrity who I'd want to invite to Thanksgiving. Best I can come up with is Jack Black because the off chance he might regale us with a rock opera about how the brave dinner met its noble end whilst taking part in a turkey uprising against the tyranny of the farmer.
 
2012-11-21 05:32:17 PM  
Those are some pretty shiatty choices if you ask me.
 
2012-11-21 05:38:37 PM  
I'd like to get both George W. Bush and Mitt Romney together at the table. You know that conversation would be farking glorious.

W: "Ya see, Mittens it's like-"

MITT: "Don't farking call me 'mittens'"

W: "No, really, I mean, it's like the whole world hates me, ya know? And I still got myself elected. Twice. Not that hard, ya know?"

MITT: "Shut up. Just shut the hell up and pass the gravy."
 
2012-11-21 05:47:33 PM  
Came for the Tebow hate. Not leaving disappointed. Personally, I'll take Tebow sitting at the table, and a Big Bird on the table. I'm sure Tebow would be thankful, but probably less so if he had to spend the day around me, because I am not as gracious a man as he is.
 
2012-11-21 05:48:21 PM  

Xenomech: CygnusDarius: I'd rather have Henry Rollins, Ted Nugent, Michelle Maddow, and S.E Cupp in my tablebed.

Should Would be fun.

FTFY


Yeah, she's hot, but the moment she starts blathering conservative talking points, it would kill my boner.
 
2012-11-21 05:55:46 PM  

MaudlinMutantMollusk: I plan to have a Big Bird over for dinner tomorrow

/Tebow can suck it


Don't think your gonna have too much luck with Tebow but I understand Elmo may be open to this idea .
 
2012-11-21 05:56:50 PM  
Tebow would try to pass the gravy, but he would get intercepted
 
2012-11-21 06:05:04 PM  
I'd like to have Tebow over mainly hoping he'd go off on all the arm-chair quarterbacks who nit pick on every single play during football games. It is amusing the guy saying 'come on * should of caught that' or 'that was a horrible pass * was open'; would be bent over and gasping for air after running 20 yards, can't throw a pass to a stationary at 30 yards, and would be crying like a baby if someone knocked them over.

Obama would be too much of a hassle because of security. Do you really want your house searched for weeks in advance and your food sent through an FBI level lab? If it was at the White House it would just be a publicity stunt and you could never relax, especially after the cavity search during the security check.
 
2012-11-21 06:16:38 PM  

CygnusDarius: I'd rather have Henry Rollins, Ted Nugent, Michelle Maddow, and S.E Cupp in my table.

Should be fun.


IN your table?

Who are you, Dr. Frank N. Furter?
 
2012-11-21 06:29:40 PM  

Lt_Ryan: I'd like to have Tebow over mainly hoping he'd go off on all the arm-chair quarterbacks who nit pick on every single play during football games. It is amusing the guy saying 'come on * should of caught that' or 'that was a horrible pass * was open'; would be bent over and gasping for air after running 20 yards, can't throw a pass to a stationary at 30 yards, and would be crying like a baby if someone knocked them over.


You do realize that you're talking about every head coach, GM, and scout in the league.

Another reason people don't like Tebow: his strong support among the meathead community.
 
2012-11-21 06:33:49 PM  
Deceased family members for me. The amount of eastern european food and alcohol was always a plus. You know you've drank enough when the recycle guys looks at the bottles yells out damnnn and gives you a thumbs up.
/
 
2012-11-21 07:16:38 PM  

CygnusDarius: Xenomech: CygnusDarius: I'd rather have Henry Rollins, Ted Nugent, Michelle Maddow, and S.E Cupp in my tablebed.

Should Would be fun.

FTFY

Yeah, she's hot, but the moment she starts blathering conservative talking points, it would kill my boner.


Hence the ball gag.
 
2012-11-21 07:16:54 PM  
My Zombie Guest list...

Richard Feynman
Frank Zappa
Jim Henson

Just a feeling that the breadth of conversation would be amazing.
 
2012-11-21 07:18:27 PM  
The Great ReReligioning of America is coming...
 
2012-11-21 07:27:49 PM  

cryinoutloud: Shee-it. I'd rather have George Bush over for Thanksgiving than some sports star. It's bound to be more interesting.


Just don't let him vomit all over you.
 
2012-11-21 07:29:20 PM  
As a person who is planning on having Thanksgiving dinner a couple of porn stars, I'm getting a kick ...
 
2012-11-21 07:29:27 PM  
Devout Christian here. I'd enjoy Christopher Hitchens for company on Thanksgiving. I didn't always agree with him but the man had a beautiful mind.
 
2012-11-21 07:35:52 PM  
I'd enjoy dinner with Larry David.
 
2012-11-21 07:40:33 PM  

MechaDupek: Devout Christian here. I'd enjoy Christopher Hitchens for company on Thanksgiving. I didn't always agree with him but the man had a beautiful mind.


I gotta believe you'd dominate the conversation.
 
2012-11-21 07:48:41 PM  
I don't understand this... I would really enjoy having dinner with the President, just think of all the amazing questions you could finally ask him? Even if you despised his policies, it'd still be incredible to grill him on them.

Inversely, wtf are you going to talk to Tim Tebow about? Football? The Bible? I can do that with any of my family members...
 
2012-11-21 07:51:56 PM  

tuvaorbust: My Zombie Guest list...

Richard Feynman
Frank Zappa
Jim Henson

Just a feeling that the breadth of conversation would be amazing.


"Whoa, that sounded awesome. Let me go get my bongos; we can jam."
 
2012-11-21 08:12:58 PM  

Your_Midnight_Man: CygnusDarius: Xenomech: CygnusDarius: I'd rather have Henry Rollins, Ted Nugent, Michelle Maddow, and S.E Cupp in my tablebed.

Should Would be fun.

FTFY

Yeah, she's hot, but the moment she starts blathering conservative talking points, it would kill my boner.

Hence the ball gag.


Everytime I hear/read 'ball gag', I think of three things '42 lbs box' 'bring in the gimp' and 'katana'.

:(.
 
2012-11-21 08:33:38 PM  

SpinStopper: I'd rather have Thanksgiving Dinner with Joe Walsh*. You know he'd be fun ;)

[i49.tinypic.com image 400x386]

* Favorite Joe quote: "It's really ... HARD ... to meditate ... on amphetamines."


Here's an idea: Joe Walsh the musician and Joe Walsh the politician in the same room.....
 
2012-11-21 09:07:56 PM  

CygnusDarius: Your_Midnight_Man: CygnusDarius: Xenomech: CygnusDarius: I'd rather have Henry Rollins, Ted Nugent, Michelle Maddow, and S.E Cupp in my tablebed.

Should Would be fun.

FTFY

Yeah, she's hot, but the moment she starts blathering conservative talking points, it would kill my boner.

Hence the ball gag.

Everytime I hear/read 'ball gag', I think of three things '42 lbs box' 'bring in the gimp' and 'katana'.

:(.

To violence

 
2012-11-21 09:42:25 PM  
Would Big Bird be a guest or the main course?
 
2012-11-21 09:43:37 PM  
Well I would be a lot don't want to go through the trouble of making everything Halal compliant, hence not wanting Obama.
 
2012-11-21 10:44:55 PM  

Bucky Katt: Would Big Bird be a guest or the main course?


Have hors d'oeuvres with the Bird, and then "invite" him out back.
 
2012-11-21 11:37:44 PM  
Well, I find Christians and athletes usually to be utter bores, so I'll go with Gaga.

Maybe she'd whip out her clenis for dessert. Always an ice-breaker, that.

/a little song, a little dance, a little clenis in your pants.
 
Oak
2012-11-21 11:47:48 PM  
Caroll Spinney, and it's not even close.

"Any living human" question? Not giving it a lot of thought, I'm thinking Chris Rock.

"Any human, living or dead?" Again, without reflecting a whole lot, I'm thinking Mark Twain.
 
2012-11-22 01:22:51 AM  

Oak: Caroll Spinney, and it's not even close.

"Any living human" question? Not giving it a lot of thought, I'm thinking Chris Rock.

"Any human, living or dead?" Again, without reflecting a whole lot, I'm thinking Mark Twain.


Jesus. Just to settle the whole thing.
 
2012-11-22 02:29:18 AM  
Tim Tebow would be entertaining to have. We would make horrible jokes about his QB ability and he would turn the other cheek. I am sure it would be a great time. The downside is that he would probably eat most of the Turkey. Rejected.

President Obama: Fascinating person and it would also be funny to give him a hard time about his politics, or at least try some impersonations. If he leaves his security at home (or just has like one or two SS agents) then that's fine, but it would probably be really intrusive.

If I could pick anyone alive: Patrick Stewart
 
2012-11-22 02:37:26 AM  
Tebow has more talent than GaGa, and is probably far more interesting to talk to. The intricacies of the lesser NY football team is more fascinating than the ins and outs of auto-tune.

That said, Obama, hell, ANY of the living presidents are far more desirable to have at a Thanksgiving dinner.
 
2012-11-22 09:56:30 AM  
Personally I would rather have Bill Murray I get the feeling he would talk about all the hot gay action he got during the 80's.
 
2012-11-22 10:01:55 AM  

screwzloos: 64% of men said they were most looking forward to watching football on TV

Am I living in a different version of reality than the one this poll is from? Of all the people I've ever known, not that many even have televisions, let alone care about football. I certainly don't.

Maybe this was just a really terrible multiple choice question?


I'm guessing the had a slightly larger sample demographic.
 
2012-11-22 06:43:50 PM  

BSABSVR: This is an actual survey? Conducted by whom? The institute for potato questions?


No, the Institute for Stove-Top Stuffing Science.
 
2012-11-22 06:50:17 PM  
Henry Rollins. That's an idea.

I'd go with Big Bird out of the options that beat Obama. Lady Gaga would probably wear a pant suit made out of deep-fried turkey skin. Tempting, but it would upstage the meal. You never upstage the meal. It's Thanksgiving. Pull that shiat on Christmas or Easter, not Thanksgiving.
 
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