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(Zim Diaspora)   Doctors unable to figure out why a man's penis is being eaten from the inside by some mysterious creature   (zimdiaspora.com) divider line 191
    More: Scary, Mugabe, penis, physicians  
•       •       •

21000 clicks; posted to Main » on 21 Nov 2012 at 3:58 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



191 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2012-11-21 04:33:56 PM  
You see what happens when you fark a stranger in the ass!
 
2012-11-21 04:35:06 PM  

Son of Streak: I...I don't think I'll be able to sleep tonight.

Unless it turns out that masturbation is the cure. Then I have nothing to fear.


I'm willing to bet it is cancer. Either that or a simple bacterial infection. Remember this story is out of Africa, they have a serious lack of medical knowledge going on there.
 
2012-11-21 04:35:16 PM  

Angry Buddha: vudukungfu: My penis is having issues.

We should cut off your balls.

I'd like a second opinion, mr doctor.

That's Dr. Doctor, sir!


Gimme the news.
 
2012-11-21 04:36:24 PM  

jtown: Random Anonymous Blackmail: He can feel it moving... I don't think antibiotics are going to do the trick... how about a little surgery and pull it out.

No shiat. Get a sharp knife and cut it out. How much worse could things possibly get???


Ya well medicine in Africa is not precisely advanced.
 
2012-11-21 04:37:58 PM  
notreadingthearticlenotreadingthearticlenotreadingthearticlenotreading thearticle
 
2012-11-21 04:38:52 PM  

CapeFearCadaver: SuperChuck: Somebody hold me

Ha Ha! I have a vagina... only have to worry about blue waffle syndrome. You should totally go google it if you haven't heard about it.


Can you turn sand into pearls?
 
2012-11-21 04:39:38 PM  

sycraft: jtown: Random Anonymous Blackmail: He can feel it moving... I don't think antibiotics are going to do the trick... how about a little surgery and pull it out.

No shiat. Get a sharp knife and cut it out. How much worse could things possibly get???

Ya well medicine in Africa is not precisely advanced.


I'm 99% sure that this is cancer. The idea that "something is inside of me" is a pretty common way for people to describe medical symptoms in lesser developed regions (and in crazy people in developed regions as well).
 
2012-11-21 04:42:40 PM  
Well, they better farking figure it out, like, yesterday.
 
2012-11-21 04:45:43 PM  

CapeFearCadaver: SuperChuck: Somebody hold me

Ha Ha! I have a vagina... only have to worry about blue waffle syndrome. You should totally go google it if you haven't heard about it.


I'm pretty sure my ex had a blue waffle. She'd never let me go down on her or see it in the daylight. Either a blue waffle, or she was a tranny.
 
2012-11-21 04:47:31 PM  

UsikFark: CapeFearCadaver: SuperChuck: Somebody hold me

Ha Ha! I have a vagina... only have to worry about blue waffle syndrome. You should totally go google it if you haven't heard about it.

Can you turn sand into pearls?


Haven't tried that yet... I did try to vote with my vagina this year, but it proved pretty darned difficult.
 
2012-11-21 04:49:31 PM  
Blues Lounger

I had that once. Turned out to be my ex.


You must have married my first wife.
 
2012-11-21 04:50:48 PM  

AdolfOliverPanties: It has already grown to the size of a human thumb and his 'sperm hosepipe' is very swollen.  

[images.wikia.com image 500x201]


that looks more like an orgasm gif.
 
2012-11-21 04:53:17 PM  

CapeFearCadaver: UsikFark: CapeFearCadaver: SuperChuck: Somebody hold me

Ha Ha! I have a vagina... only have to worry about blue waffle syndrome. You should totally go google it if you haven't heard about it.

Can you turn sand into pearls?

Haven't tried that yet... I did try to vote with my vagina this year, but it proved pretty darned difficult.


I was wondering why my voting machine screen looked like a snail had slid down it.
 
2012-11-21 04:54:19 PM  
www.mundogump.com.br 

Candiru'ed Penis.
 
2012-11-21 04:54:55 PM  

CapeFearCadaver: UsikFark: CapeFearCadaver: SuperChuck: Somebody hold me

Ha Ha! I have a vagina... only have to worry about blue waffle syndrome. You should totally go google it if you haven't heard about it.

Can you turn sand into pearls?

Haven't tried that yet... I did try to vote with my vagina this year, but it proved pretty darned difficult.


You just grab a pen and wiggle your ass, right? Maybe you're doing it wrong.
 
2012-11-21 04:56:05 PM  

Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: CapeFearCadaver: SuperChuck: Somebody hold me

Ha Ha! I have a vagina... only have to worry about blue waffle syndrome. You should totally go google it if you haven't heard about it.

I'm pretty sure my ex had a blue waffle. She'd never let me go down on her or see it in the daylight. Either a blue waffle, or she was a tranny.


Y not both?
 
2012-11-21 04:56:39 PM  
Get that man a stiff Zimecterin cocktail, stat!
 
2012-11-21 04:57:05 PM  
Probably a bad case of Goatse in the back too.
 
2012-11-21 04:57:39 PM  

CapeFearCadaver: SuperChuck: Somebody hold me

Ha Ha! I have a vagina... only have to worry about blue waffle syndrome. You should totally go google it if you haven't heard about it.


Am I the only person on the internet who Googled it and didn't even quirk an eyebrow at the pictures? Sheez.
 
2012-11-21 04:58:18 PM  
Holy fark, can't believe this hasn't been posted yet...geez people.

assets.ilounge.com
 
2012-11-21 05:03:27 PM  
That headline just about made me cry and I'm not even a dude.
 
2012-11-21 05:04:50 PM  
"Besides a suggestion that his balls should be cut off, he has also been told it may be cancer."

/best newspaper ever
 
2012-11-21 05:05:11 PM  

FunkOut: That headline just about made me cry and I'm not even a dude.


My penis twitched while reading the article, then I got really scared.
 
2012-11-21 05:07:32 PM  
It's dark in there, he's likely eaten by a grue.
 
2012-11-21 05:08:08 PM  

FunkOut: That headline just about made me cry and I'm not even a dude.


I was unmoved by the headline, and I'm a dude. Thanks to Western medicine and sex education, my penis is safe and uneaten.
 
2012-11-21 05:11:18 PM  

CapeFearCadaver: SuperChuck: Somebody hold me

Ha Ha! I have a vagina... only have to worry about blue waffle syndrome. You should totally go google it if you haven't heard about it.


So glad I just Googled rather than Google image searched. Wouldn't have been able to unsee that one.
 
2012-11-21 05:11:24 PM  
Please tell me the Zim Diaspora is a real news group and not a Zimbabwean version of the Onion, because that'll just make my day. Totally bookmarking that shiat.

As for the wang eating itself, testicular removal would not be my first choice for relief. Dude's got cancer. Or a tapeworm that got lost and the (real) doctors haven't tried antihelminthics yet.
 
2012-11-21 05:11:32 PM  
Hey guys, what's going on in...
www.roxanegay.com
 
2012-11-21 05:12:44 PM  
Being that this is apparently happening to a penis in Zimbabwe, I think it would be more appropriate for the headline to read: People calling themselves "Doctors" unable to figure out why...
 
2012-11-21 05:14:11 PM  

Ontos: Being that this is apparently happening to a penis in Zimbabwe, I think it would be more appropriate for the headline to read: People calling themselves "Doctors" unable to figure out why...


www.simpalife.com
 
2012-11-21 05:16:18 PM  
He said his local clinic has given him antibiotics after antibiotics. The hospital gave him other medication. "Now they have run out of ideas."
...
Oupa Shumeni of the African Traditional Health Practitioners Association said it is difficult to diagnose without throwing the bones.

Throwing the bones??? How about you go to a hospital and tell them to CUT IT THE F**K OUT!!
If they wouldn't do it, at that point I would just numb myself with booze and do it with an internet guide and an Xacto knife.
That's farking horrific.
 
2012-11-21 05:17:05 PM  

freewill: dahmers love zombie: That, my friend, is Cymothoa exigua, the tongue-eating louse.

Inside my mind, I will be screaming for the rest of my life.


The best part about it is that once it eats the tongue, it stays there and either eats mucus or blood.

Also, the fish can keep on using it as a tongue.

/don't kiss fish
 
2012-11-21 05:17:16 PM  
I'm glad the headline specified that it was a man's penis and not the other kind of penis.
 
2012-11-21 05:19:22 PM  
munch munch munch munch munch munch

Oh hai thar everybodee!

Whatcha starin' at?
 
2012-11-21 05:19:32 PM  

poot_rootbeer: I'm glad the headline specified that it was a man's penis and not the other kind of penis.


what? a non-human penis
 
2012-11-21 05:22:24 PM  
img850.imageshack.us

Wanted for questioning.


dahmers love zombie:

That, my friend, is Cymothoa exigua, the tongue-eating louse.


I read the Wiki. Mother Nature is a mad scientist, Jerry.

/ Jeebus
 
2012-11-21 05:22:27 PM  

thursdaypostal: freewill: dahmers love zombie: That, my friend, is Cymothoa exigua, the tongue-eating louse.

Inside my mind, I will be screaming for the rest of my life.

The best part about it is that once it eats the tongue, it stays there and either eats mucus or blood.

Also, the fish can keep on using it as a tongue.

/don't kiss fish


Link
 
2012-11-21 05:24:52 PM  

thursdaypostal: freewill: dahmers love zombie: That, my friend, is Cymothoa exigua, the tongue-eating louse.

Inside my mind, I will be screaming for the rest of my life.

The best part about it is that once it eats the tongue, it stays there and either eats mucus or blood.

Also, the fish can keep on using it as a tongue.

/don't kiss fish


But how does the fish taste?
 
2012-11-21 05:26:16 PM  

CapeFearCadaver: SuperChuck: Somebody hold me

Ha Ha! I have a vagina... only have to worry about blue waffle syndrome. You should totally go google it if you haven't heard about it.


Not the first time I fell for Blue Waffle.. should have remembered it from last time. *shakes tiny fist*

But I was wondering WTH could cause that, so I looked further. FYI it's totally fake: SFW Link

/pixels etc.
 
2012-11-21 05:32:12 PM  

Contrabulous Flabtraption: AdolfOliverPanties: It has already grown to the size of a human thumb and his 'sperm hosepipe' is very swollen.  

[images.wikia.com image 500x201]

that looks more like an orgasm gif.


I actually tried a few other GIFs and they were too big. Not knowing how to shrink them or create them myself, I did a search for GIFs under 500kb and found one. But that one turned out to be from Glee, so I chose the next one I found, which was that chick.

/csb
 
2012-11-21 05:50:36 PM  

oakleym82: CapeFearCadaver: SuperChuck: Somebody hold me

Ha Ha! I have a vagina... only have to worry about blue waffle syndrome. You should totally go google it if you haven't heard about it.

Not the first time I fell for Blue Waffle.. should have remembered it from last time. *shakes tiny fist*

But I was wondering WTH could cause that, so I looked further. FYI it's totally fake: SFW Link

/pixels etc.


Wow...that was a lot more serious than I thought it would be.
 
2012-11-21 05:52:26 PM  

CapeFearCadaver: SuperChuck: Somebody hold me

Ha Ha! I have a vagina... only have to worry about blue waffle syndrome. You should totally go google it if you haven't heard about it.


cdn.ebaumsworld.com
 
2012-11-21 05:55:17 PM  
I just talked to the doctor. He said you're gonna die
 
2012-11-21 05:55:27 PM  
Now when we go around the table and state what we're thankful for tomorrow, I have something totally appropriate to bring up.
 
2012-11-21 05:55:30 PM  

CapeFearCadaver: Ha Ha! I have a vagina... only have to worry about blue waffle syndrome. You should totally go google it if you haven't heard about it.


No.
 
2012-11-21 05:56:07 PM  
If I was not on my mobile I would be posting a pic of Peter Butterworth as Simpkin (I think) in Carry on Follow That Camel screaming about how he had "Got the worm".
 
2012-11-21 05:56:40 PM  
For God's sakes help this man already!.
 
2012-11-21 05:58:32 PM  

Apos: [25.media.tumblr.com image 303x400]

are on the case.


Well, one of them is.
 
2012-11-21 05:59:57 PM  

LeroyBourne: Now when we go around the table and state what we're thankful for tomorrow, I have something totally appropriate to bring up.


That would be a good prayer for Thanksgiving:

"I'd like to give thanks to everyone here"
"I'd like to thank my wife, for being with me in good times and bad"
"I'd like to thank grandma, for giving me my dog, Snooky!"
"I'd like to thank that I don't have a worm eating my penis form the inside out"
*Awkward silence, little kid starts crying*
"Damn it, you made Stevie cry!"
"Fark Stevie, he called his dog Snooky"
 
2012-11-21 06:00:23 PM  
been to a hospital, interviewed by a newspaper reporter. backwoods Africa guy can't be much more than a few days from a real hospital. i would have started walking a long time ago. my winkie is my favorite pull toy.
 
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