kwame: For the next hour, give me any questions you'd like about preparing turkey. After the hour is up, I will call the 1-800-Butterball hotline and ask the top five questions. Top questions will be selected by voting using the "Funny" button.I'll take notes and report their answers back as soon as I finish the call.
myschief: How can I get the turkey to taste like ham? Everybody in my house likes ham better.
Snarcoleptic_Hoosier: I tried breeding a turkey and a duck to make a turducken, but all I have is lots of poultry semen and awkward silence. What am I doing wrong?
Boeheimian Rhapsody: Is there a way I can prepare to turkey to make sure that only white meat comes out of the oven?
Delay: Boeheimian Rhapsody: Is there a way I can prepare to turkey to make sure that only white meat comes out of the oven?Depends, how do you prepare to turkey usually? Like this?The Turkey Shot Out of the Ovenby Jack PrelutskyThe turkey shot out of the ovenand rocketed into the air.It knocked every plate off the tableand partly demolished a chair.It ricocheted into a cornerand burst with a deafening boom,then splattered all over the kitchen,completely obscuring the room.It stuck to the walls and the windows.It totally coated the floor.There was turkey attached to the ceilingwhere there'd never been turkey before.It blanketed every appliance.It smeared every saucer and bowl.There wasn't a way I could stop it.That turkey was out of control.I scraped and I scrubbed with displeasureand thought with chagrin as I moppedthat I'd never again stuff a turkeywith popcorn that hadn't been popped.
SuperChuck: That was a great smackdown from the Turkey Expert
kwame: CommieTaoist: I caught my teenage son doing something inappropriate with the turkey after I thawed it out. I've rinsed out the cavity and gave him a stern talking to but is it still safe to eat?that said, this sh*t is funny
buckler: I live in Hawaii. How long does it take to cook a 14-lb. turkey in lava?
Bad Man: kwame: TE (in mom voice): "What state are you calling from?"Lol, I can hear it now.
Super Chronic: When I worked at KFC during high school, more than once I got a call from some kid asking "how large are your breasts?" I just went along with it and said "38D."
not_an_indigo: Super Chronic: When I worked at KFC during high school, more than once I got a call from some kid asking "how large are your breasts?" I just went along with it and said "38D."Pics or it didn't....well, you know.
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