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(Newsday)   Sixty-four die after drinking anti-sorcery potion administered by Roman Catholic priest   ( divider line
    More: Ironic  
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22405 clicks; posted to Main » on 05 Dec 2003 at 4:29 AM (13 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

134 Comments     (+0 »)

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2003-12-05 01:02:13 AM  
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2003-12-05 01:16:45 AM  
Obviously those people must have all been sorcerors.
2003-12-05 01:18:06 AM  
Look at the results ...... see any "evil spirits" humm .... hummmm yeah so ....... god this is horable. I dont think he did this to kill anyone but he did run away. If you cant trust your priest who can you trust. Bah I question everything that comes out of the congo I really dont believe this story but at the same time it makes since.

And i'm off
2003-12-05 01:19:43 AM  
Bah, the article doesn't even mention whether or not the potion worked.
2003-12-05 01:23:31 AM  
i need a recipe dammit!
2003-12-05 01:41:31 AM  
Warlord: I think it worked perfectly. Evil spirits probably dont want to posess a corpse.
2003-12-05 02:39:26 AM  
"It was some sort of oily substance, which was given to supposedly deliver them" from the spirits, Sitolo said of the potion.

Well it delivered them somewhere, at least.
2003-12-05 03:11:37 AM  
Avada Kedavra! *waves wand furiously*
2003-12-05 04:32:53 AM  
Many of Congo's 59 million inhabitants mix indigenous beliefs with those introduced by organized religions, such as Christianity and Islam.

That'll teach 'em to mix their religions...
2003-12-05 04:38:48 AM  
What's the problem? All he has to do is go to confession and he'll be forgiven. 64 "Hail Mary"s. Easy.
2003-12-05 04:38:56 AM  
And I thought mixing beer and wine was bad enough...
2003-12-05 04:39:01 AM  
When homebrew goes wrong!
2003-12-05 04:39:19 AM  
I don't really see the irony..

I sure hope this guy doesn't try to move up here and become a bartender though!
2003-12-05 04:39:35 AM  
priest who told his parishoners that condoms are laced with HIV unavailable for comment.

Those wacky Catholics...
2003-12-05 04:48:23 AM  
Of course the potion worked! None of these people have to worry about sorcery again.
( I know... straight to hell for me.)
2003-12-05 04:51:40 AM  
The Lord Darwin receives 64 more souls.

On a related note - if Darwin was so great, why is he dead?
2003-12-05 04:56:51 AM  
If Jonestown taught you anything, it's never to accept drink from religious leaders.

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2003-12-05 04:57:31 AM  
The man standing with Rev Jim is Dr Carlton Goodlett he fed Jim Jones all the drugs he wanted lost his Medical license because of it & they named the street in front of SF city hall after him.
2003-12-05 05:10:09 AM  
Guess my headline submitted for the same link was a bit too angry:

64 superstitious idiots die in Congo from alleged "anti-sorcery" potion... Or should I say poison...

2003-12-05 05:15:39 AM  
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2003-12-05 05:16:29 AM  
LaughingGremlin's fark page always comes in handy to me: Here's a typical person's initial reaction after after imbibing the anti-sorcery "potion:"

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2003-12-05 05:19:56 AM  
But did the potion work? Are there any evil spirits left?
2003-12-05 05:20:19 AM  
Aahhh, Catholicism. Such a modern, progressive religion. You can't wear a little rubber thingy on the end of your John Thomas, but you are encouraged by the leaders to take poison that will supposedly cure you of sorcery. Farking Catholics.
2003-12-05 05:38:10 AM  
logic 64
superstition 0
2003-12-05 05:43:25 AM  

Dunno, I wouldn't call Shatner typical...but the reaction looks about right.
2003-12-05 05:46:11 AM  
Anyone that stupid would have ended up killing themself eventually anyway.
2003-12-05 05:50:59 AM  
Hey, it worked, didn't it?

Evil spirits will no longer bother them - guaranteed.
2003-12-05 06:04:35 AM  
'Dumbass' or 'Obvious' tag oughta do it!
2003-12-05 06:05:18 AM  
I am going to the Congo (DROC) in February. I was recently in Uganda and was talking to locals about religion. I was told that, similar to America, religion is one of the biggest cash crops in all of Africa. They told me that if I wanted *instant* success in Africa that I should start a new religion. Works out nicely since I was wondering where to start up my own religion anyway. Some of the covenants are:
1. Guinness communion (Guinness is 7.5% there) daily
2. Nightly virgin sacrifice
3. I NEED a harem
4. Nekidness is Godliness
Still working on some more. I'm open to suggestions.
2003-12-05 06:05:51 AM  
64 less Catholics. I'd call that a good day.

/grew up Catholic
2003-12-05 06:12:31 AM  
I think you're confused Maui Haui. Here's how it works.

Start religion. I'd recommend something based around the "sacred plant" (whatever is local that is pharmocologically "interesting").
Find attractive young woman.
Ask her if she's a virgin.
a. If yes, have sex with her, then sacrifice her the next day to shut her up...uh...I mean..."appease the angry god that lives in that tree over there" because god likes virgins and the locals can't prove otherwise when she's a pile of ashes.

b. If no, have sex with her anyway. If she starts spreading rumors...uh...I mean LIES DAMNED FILTHY LIES THAT ARE AGAINST OUR RELIGION (except for the clergy)...sacrifice her to appease the gods.

When you run out of women, move to the next town over to spread the good news.
2003-12-05 06:14:12 AM  
Does anti Catholic stuff automatically get green lighted? This guy doesn't sound like he actually has that much to do with the church.
2003-12-05 06:30:27 AM  
Does anyone remember a fruit drink called Umbongo? The song in the ad used to go something like 'Umbongo, Umbongo, they drink it in the Congo'. You can hear it here. (unless you work for a company like mine who are too tight to put a sound card in their PCs).
2003-12-05 06:33:44 AM  

Yup, I remember tasted like crap....over sweet mish- mash of flavours. Thanks to you I will have the song in my head all day now.
2003-12-05 06:36:13 AM  
Goodyearpimp: Thanks for the tips! Want a job? I could use a good "right hand man".
2003-12-05 06:38:57 AM  

At least I'm not suffering alone. Hehehe.
2003-12-05 06:54:50 AM  

You can still buy Um Bongo in England. But it's not very nice, kids still seem to like it though.

Catholicism = boooooooooooooo!
2003-12-05 06:57:58 AM  
I had an Umbongo the other week. It didn't taste like it did when I was a kid, but I was suffering a massive hangover (last week - not when I was a kid!).
2003-12-05 06:58:28 AM  
star child "This guy doesn't sound like he actually has that much to do with the church."

What, apart from being a priest?
2003-12-05 07:01:45 AM  
suffering a massive hangover (last week - not when I was a kid!).

I am most disillusioned to hear that......I haven't see the stuff on sale in years....but then I haven't been to the UK in a while either.
2003-12-05 07:05:33 AM  
Does anti Catholic stuff automatically get green lighted? This guy doesn't sound like he actually has that much to do with the church."

Yes, I agree, why should this have to do with the church...him being a Roman Catholic Priest and all.
2003-12-05 07:16:14 AM  

I don't think it's worth making the trip for a taste of Umbongo - the best thing about it was the advert that they don't show anymore. Thanks for the link Purple_jack!
2003-12-05 07:17:42 AM  
They Obviously weighed more than a duck! Heathens!!
2003-12-05 07:24:31 AM  
I'll have to listen to some Lenny K to get umbongo outta my head now...
2003-12-05 07:32:52 AM  
Um.... bongo?
[image from too old to be available]
2003-12-05 07:34:36 AM  
None of those dead farktards will be getting themselves possessed by Satans demons, ghosts, warlocks, goblins, or zombies. Another blow struck in the war on evil.

In the fine tradition of the Missionary's the Man O' God was right after all...
2003-12-05 07:35:56 AM  
They drink it in the Congo!
2003-12-05 07:36:19 AM  

I'll have to listen to some Lenny K to get umbongo outta my head now...

If you've got sound on your computer, try this instead! (props to Artmerlyn who linked it in an earlier thread)
2003-12-05 07:38:30 AM  
Anybody got a link to the group that sang "no Fanta in Uganda"? It was a popular song in Germany in the 80's. Don't remember the band or any other lyrics.
2003-12-05 07:46:53 AM  
This is just the next episode of "Carnivale".
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