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(Slate)   Food critics really, really hate Thanksgiving. You know, that one time of the year when we eat food that tastes good and don't worry about how it's made, how many calories it has, or how hipster it is   (slate.com) divider line 100
    More: Obvious, Thanksgiving, food writer, Kama Sutra, editing, thin-slicing, green beans  
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6511 clicks; posted to Main » on 21 Nov 2012 at 11:55 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-11-21 08:39:59 AM
Just wait until they try my deconstructed pumpkin pie.
 
2012-11-21 08:50:19 AM
Shut the fark up about hipsters
 
2012-11-21 09:09:44 AM
The author is agreeing with you, fatmitter.
 
2012-11-21 09:13:36 AM
The fact that you constantly think other people are looking down at you smacks of projection.
 
2012-11-21 09:14:45 AM
I think Drew needs to modify the Fark filters to automatically change the word "hipster" into something more reflective of the vast majority of people who choose to use that term on here, something that accurately captures their general ignorance, laziness, and slavering desire to get in a meme wherever they can, regardless of its accuracy. I'm not exactly sure of what that might be, but I'm sure there's something.
 
2012-11-21 09:14:59 AM

kxs401: The fact that you constantly think other people are looking down at you smacks of projection.


yeop.

who even thinks about a food critic. Oh, someone else that wished they could have been a food critic.
 
2012-11-21 09:20:05 AM
One time of year?
 
2012-11-21 09:20:28 AM
I detect a strong whiff of loneliness and despair emanating from these "hipster" headlines. I can't help but think there's a wounded little boy behind all of them.
 
2012-11-21 09:20:48 AM

Pocket Ninja: I think Drew needs to modify the Fark filters to automatically change the word "hipster" into something more reflective of the vast majority of people who choose to use that term on here, something that accurately captures their general ignorance, laziness, and slavering desire to get in a meme wherever they can, regardless of its accuracy. I'm not exactly sure of what that might be, but I'm sure there's something.


I think "hipster" would be a good choice.
 
2012-11-21 09:37:12 AM

Pocket Ninja: I think Drew needs to modify the Fark filters to automatically change the word "hipster" into something more reflective of the vast majority of people who choose to use that term on here, something that accurately captures their general ignorance, laziness, and slavering desire to get in a meme wherever they can, regardless of its accuracy. I'm not exactly sure of what that might be, but I'm sure there's something.


Ironic and Successful Unemployed Americans?
 
2012-11-21 10:09:19 AM
Cry me a river Yankee swine, Ramadan is no picnic either.
 
- Mohammad "Wildman" Fieri.  Food critic.
 
2012-11-21 10:17:00 AM
dustinland.com
 
2012-11-21 10:20:28 AM
That's why I only serve Maize ironically while dressed as Squanto. Now if you'll excuse me I have to go help buckle some hats.
 
2012-11-21 10:22:40 AM

Mr. Coffee Nerves: That's why I only serve Maize ironically while dressed as Squanto. Now if you'll excuse me I have to go help buckle some hats.


You know? I always wanted venison on Thanksgiving. Too bad I don't know any hunters at the moment. And the deer here in FL are shiat compared to the ones we bagged in NJ.
 
2012-11-21 10:43:06 AM

Jackson Herring: Shut the fark up about hipsters


sigdiamond2000: The author is agreeing with you, fatmitter.


kxs401: The fact that you constantly think other people are looking down at you smacks of projection.


Pocket Ninja: I think Drew needs to modify the Fark filters to automatically change the word "hipster" into something more reflective of the vast majority of people who choose to use that term on here, something that accurately captures their general ignorance, laziness, and slavering desire to get in a meme wherever they can, regardless of its accuracy. I'm not exactly sure of what that might be, but I'm sure there's something.


sigdiamond2000: I detect a strong whiff of loneliness and despair emanating from these "hipster" headlines. I can't help but think there's a wounded little boy behind all of them.


All of these things.
 
2012-11-21 10:46:28 AM
What I don't get is that the one meal of the year we most want to be impressive is food that most of us only cook that one time of the year.

/if you want something to be good, PRACTICE!
 
2012-11-21 10:52:23 AM
On topic, I don't get to cook this year but I wanted to dry brine, spatchcock my turkey after reading a technique on Serious Eats. Of course I know my family would freak out because the turkey didn't look like a Norman Rockwell painting. If a dish is universally accepted as perfect than I can see not messing with it or trying a second version. I can't see why tradition should be slavishly followed on a holiday that is all about food.
 
2012-11-21 11:57:14 AM

Pocket Ninja: I think Drew needs to modify the Fark filters to automatically change the word "hipster" into something more reflective of the vast majority of people who choose to use that term on here, something that accurately captures their general ignorance, laziness, and slavering desire to get in a meme wherever they can, regardless of its accuracy. I'm not exactly sure of what that might be, but I'm sure there's something.


Pretentious douchewaffle?
 
2012-11-21 11:59:09 AM
I've got friends that wanted to go all Brooklyn on Thanksgiving, but I held the line. I get to do a whole turkey once a year, isn't that hipster enough?

The sides should be amazing though.
 
2012-11-21 11:59:53 AM
Only hipsters complain about hipsters.

Also, "that one time of the year" ???? Really? Judging by how fat America is, that's every freakin day.
 
2012-11-21 12:00:24 PM
Pretentious farks with idiotic affectations. That's as good a description as any I've heard. And yes,there are lots of them. Most of them don't understand what we're talking about either.
 
2012-11-21 12:02:35 PM
I consider myself able to easily tell which food is good and which is not just by smelling it. I am much more critical of restaurant food than most professional critics. Thanksgiving is my favorite day of the year. But this year I am staying home and making garlic mashed red potatoes with green beans and chips and salsa. Too lazy to cook anything else.
 
2012-11-21 12:04:25 PM
My dick was into mash potatoes before it got all mainstream.
 
2012-11-21 12:05:27 PM

Orgasmatron138: Only hipsters complain about hipsters.

Also, "that one time of the year" ???? Really? Judging by how fat America is, that's every freakin day.


No no no no no. Thanksgiving is all about turkey, gravy and pie.

Christmas is all about turkey, gravy, pie, and candy

St. Valentines is all about candy.

4th of July is all about BBQ, gravy, booze, and candy

Halloween is all about candy and pie.
 
2012-11-21 12:08:59 PM

Sybarite: Just wait until they try my deconstructed pumpkin pie.


Libby's out of the can?
 
2012-11-21 12:09:43 PM
Memester
 
2012-11-21 12:09:57 PM
I am seriously considering laying off the booze this year in order to stuff more food in my face hole. This plan could be derailed by how my family behaves meeting the girlfriend's family for the first time.
 
2012-11-21 12:13:57 PM

Diogenes: Pocket Ninja: I think Drew needs to modify the Fark filters to automatically change the word "hipster" into something more reflective of the vast majority of people who choose to use that term on here, something that accurately captures their general ignorance, laziness, and slavering desire to get in a meme wherever they can, regardless of its accuracy. I'm not exactly sure of what that might be, but I'm sure there's something.

Ironic and Successful Unemployed Americans?


I like it. Maybe called them "isuans" for short.
 
2012-11-21 12:14:15 PM

Sybarite: Just wait until they try my deconstructed pumpkin pie.


So what, a pumpkin shell with pie dough bakes in the middle of it?
 
2012-11-21 12:14:18 PM

mike_d85: Sybarite: Just wait until they try my deconstructed pumpkin pie.

Libby's out of the can?


I hate to admit it, but I think that recipe makes the best pumpkin pie evar.

NOT the precanned mix. Use the solid pack and do a little work for chrissake!
 
2012-11-21 12:14:36 PM
Honestly, enjoy the dinner. Hell, the country is in bad shape, but it could be worse. You could be living either in Israel or Palestine right now.

Just enjoy that one day. Even if you're alone.

/honest thoughts
 
2012-11-21 12:14:59 PM

CygnusDarius: Orgasmatron138: Only hipsters complain about hipsters.

Also, "that one time of the year" ???? Really? Judging by how fat America is, that's every freakin day.

No no no no no. Thanksgiving is all about turkey, gravy and pie.

Christmas is all about turkey, gravy, pie, and candy

St. Valentines is all about candy.

4th of July is all about BBQ, gravy, booze, and candy

Halloween is all about candy and pie.


I would like to know about this 4th of July candy and Halloween pie please.

Perhaps in newsletter form.
 
2012-11-21 12:15:33 PM

Pocket Ninja: I think Drew needs to modify the Fark filters to automatically change the word "hipster" into something more reflective of the vast majority of people who choose to use that term on here, something that accurately captures their general ignorance, laziness, and slavering desire to get in a meme wherever they can, regardless of its accuracy. I'm not exactly sure of what that might be, but I'm sure there's something.


or the words entitled or attention-whore. That would be nice.

/called people hipsters before it was cool
 
2012-11-21 12:16:52 PM
Hipster Thanksgiving is Swanson's turkey pot pie on a TV tray in front of the fire
 
2012-11-21 12:17:33 PM

Cold_Sassy: mike_d85: Sybarite: Just wait until they try my deconstructed pumpkin pie.

Libby's out of the can?

I hate to admit it, but I think that recipe makes the best pumpkin pie evar.

NOT the precanned mix. Use the solid pack and do a little work for chrissake!


Cut the sugar by about 1/3. That's the only alteration I made to that recipe that did any good.
 
2012-11-21 12:18:17 PM
How hipster my food is? My turkey wears a fedora and smokes a tobacco pipe. My cranberry sauce was raised by free range Indonesian picts. And my submitter needs to look up an obscure turn of phrase called 'beating a dead horse' it was coined by someone you've never heard of.
 
2012-11-21 12:19:02 PM
The term "foodie" drives me crazy and I guess I don't really know why. It just seems such a pretentious and unnecessary phrase.

If I had to sit down for dinner with a group of hipsters or a group of foodies I'd probably opt for hipsters.
 
2012-11-21 12:19:19 PM
It's like redrawing the Kama Sutra when readers really only care about the missionary position.

They're doing it wrong.
 
2012-11-21 12:24:01 PM

Pocket Ninja: I think Drew needs to modify the Fark filters to automatically change the word "hipster" into something more reflective of the vast majority of people who choose to use that term on here, something that accurately captures their general ignorance, laziness, and slavering desire to get in a meme wherever they can, regardless of its accuracy. I'm not exactly sure of what that might be, but I'm sure there's something.


Sideshow Bobs?
 
2012-11-21 12:24:56 PM

mike_d85: Cold_Sassy: mike_d85: Sybarite: Just wait until they try my deconstructed pumpkin pie.

Libby's out of the can?

I hate to admit it, but I think that recipe makes the best pumpkin pie evar.

NOT the precanned mix. Use the solid pack and do a little work for chrissake!

Cut the sugar by about 1/3. That's the only alteration I made to that recipe that did any good.


Eh, I'll try that next time; too late for this year ;)
 
2012-11-21 12:25:45 PM
Worst turkey I ever made was by using a brine recipe that a co-worker recommended. Sixteen ingredients for a damn brine, and the turkey tasted like oranges. Yuck. Too complicated for what's supposed to be a simple, traditional bird. Turkey should be moist and taste like turkey, dammit.

/Better brine: 1/4 salt, 1/2 cup sugar dissolved in enough water to cover the bird. Soak overnight in the fridge, and keep a pan of water in the oven with the bird.
 
2012-11-21 12:29:16 PM
 
2012-11-21 12:32:40 PM
Well, DUH Thanksgiving is boring to foodies and critics: it's all about tradition. *Current* Traditional Thanksgiving is what our grandparents were eating for Thanksgiving in the 50's-60's. You're not allowed to innovate. I mean hell, my family just about had a fit when my mom tried changing the pumpkin pie recipe to add some orange zest to the filling.

Thanksgiving ISN'T about culinary pleasure. It's about getting extended families who secretly hate eachother together at the same table, making everyone suffer through the same bland food, and then hoping against hope that no one brings up sex, politics, or religion at the table. THEN it's about drinking heavily when someone inevitably does.
 
2012-11-21 12:33:40 PM

tallguywithglasseson: Jackson Herring: Shut the fark up about hipsters

sigdiamond2000: The author is agreeing with you, fatmitter.

kxs401: The fact that you constantly think other people are looking down at you smacks of projection.

Pocket Ninja: I think Drew needs to modify the Fark filters to automatically change the word "hipster" into something more reflective of the vast majority of people who choose to use that term on here, something that accurately captures their general ignorance, laziness, and slavering desire to get in a meme wherever they can, regardless of its accuracy. I'm not exactly sure of what that might be, but I'm sure there's something.

sigdiamond2000: I detect a strong whiff of loneliness and despair emanating from these "hipster" headlines. I can't help but think there's a wounded little boy behind all of them.

All of these things.


Pro-hipster backlash? Surprised it didn't come sooner, what with the insecurity that oozes from them.
 
2012-11-21 12:36:49 PM

Incontinent_dog_and_monkey_rodeo: Hipster Thanksgiving is Swanson's turkey pot pie on a TV tray in front of the fireoutside


FTFY
 
2012-11-21 12:37:37 PM

Sybarite: Just wait until they try my deconstructed pumpkin pie.


The NY Times has that for you, too! (Recipe)

And it looks like an abomination that should not be allowed on this earth.
 
2012-11-21 12:39:46 PM
Jive turkey hipster douchenozzle asshat

griffinscott.files.wordpress.com
 
2012-11-21 12:40:17 PM

brap: Cry me a river Yankee swine, Ramadan is no picnic either.
 
- Mohammad "Wildman" Fieri.  Food critic.



Comment of the Year right there!
 
2012-11-21 12:42:49 PM
I love the butthurt that hipster headlines bring out around here. Keep sobbing into the sleeves of your Cosby sweaters, guys!
 
2012-11-21 12:48:41 PM

I May Be Crazy But...: Sybarite: Just wait until they try my deconstructed pumpkin pie.

The NY Times has that for you, too! (Recipe)

And it looks like an abomination that should not be allowed on this earth.


I prefer deconstructing French Cuisine.
3.bp.blogspot.com
/No smoking, please
 
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