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(Gainesville Sun)   Honestly, nobody is that impressed if you can put a four-year-old girl in double nelson headlock   (gainesville.com) divider line 34
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4723 clicks; posted to Main » on 21 Nov 2012 at 10:36 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-11-21 01:00:57 AM
It would be nice if they said how big the child was, at least.
 
2012-11-21 09:11:17 AM
Wow, I was going to post some quasi-relevant image, but after doing a GIS (in safe mode!) for "full nelson," I've discovered that there is some very niche art out there for that kind of thing.
 
2012-11-21 10:07:26 AM
Q: What's the hardest thing about putting a 4 year old in a double nelson?


A: My penis.
 
2012-11-21 10:38:45 AM
www.unitrends.com

Yup.
 
2012-11-21 10:38:57 AM
I think we need a realistic assessment of how many 4-year-old girls this woman could beat up before they overtook her.
 
2012-11-21 10:40:21 AM

Diogenes: Q: What's the hardest thing about putting a 4 year old in a double nelson?


A: My penis.


"Wah you goes and tells eberyone ah gots a peenis?!?!?!"
florida.arrests.org
 
2012-11-21 10:40:25 AM
Is a Double Nelson anything like a Full Nelson?
 
2012-11-21 10:40:49 AM

Diogenes: Q: What's the hardest thing about putting a 4 year old in a double nelson?

A: My penis.


hoping that both of you get soap(ed) for christmas

www.nleomf.org
 
2012-11-21 10:41:21 AM
So half nelson x 2 = "double nelson". If you are a farking idiot at math. Thankfully most of our nation is.
 
2012-11-21 10:44:54 AM

GoodyearPimp: So half nelson x 2 = "double nelson". If you are a farking idiot at math. Thankfully most of our nation is.


Not a full nelson, a *double* nelson.

I suppose the Hindu deity, Shiva, could do it. I suppose a double nelson would somehow involve legs?

/hung over
 
2012-11-21 10:47:59 AM
In her defense kids are getting hormones in their cow's milk and developing breasts earlier and puberty
 
2012-11-21 10:50:38 AM

GoodyearPimp: So half nelson x 2 = "double nelson". If you are a farking idiot at math. Thankfully most of our nation is.

Or English is.
 
2012-11-21 10:51:41 AM
Only someone who is forewarned can do a double nelson. Because forewarned is forearmed.

/But who wants to be half an octopus?
//hat tip to Walt Kelly & Pogo
///also pxlboy
 
2012-11-21 10:54:58 AM

pxlboy: GoodyearPimp: So half nelson x 2 = "double nelson". If you are a farking idiot at math. Thankfully most of our nation is.

Not a full nelson, a *double* nelson.

I suppose the Hindu deity, Shiva, could do it. I suppose a double nelson would somehow involve legs?

/hung over


Well, double dumb-ass on you!

(That's 4 cheeks total, for the record)
 
2012-11-21 10:55:53 AM
Pffft, my brother put me in a figure four once. That shiat hurts man.

3.bp.blogspot.com
 
2012-11-21 10:57:54 AM
Yeah the full nelson part is easy. It's getting her to tap out that is hard!!!!
 
2012-11-21 11:00:23 AM
Should have gave her the people's elbow.
 
2012-11-21 11:00:26 AM
grouchymuffin.files.wordpress.comgrouchymuffin.files.wordpress.com
 
2012-11-21 11:05:19 AM
I would honestly be impressed. Those suckers (4-year-olds) are not only small, but incredibly limber. I know I wouldn't be able to do it to my 5-year-old, and he's huge for his age.
 
2012-11-21 11:12:36 AM
TIL a full nelson is illegal in amateur wrestling and is named after Admiral Nelson who has a statue in Trafalgar Square.
 
2012-11-21 11:20:53 AM
Do NOT do the 1 and 1/2 nelson on a four year old.

I hope the 1 & 1/2 nelson isn't obscure.
 
2012-11-21 11:28:09 AM
 
2012-11-21 11:32:29 AM
My four-year-old girl would take your eyes out and feed them to you before you could get a half-nelson on her. In fairness, there's a good chance she'd do that to you if you were trying to give her a cupcake, too. Excitable child.


wax66: I know I wouldn't be able to do it to my 5-year-old, and he's huge for his age.

TMI, dude. The FBI reads this stuff.
 
2012-11-21 11:45:40 AM
The story is actually comforting in a way, it just has Florida written all over it.
 
2012-11-21 11:47:08 AM
I've put both my kids in full nelsons at about that age, because sometimes they just won't stop!
 
2012-11-21 11:57:31 AM

RandomAxe: My four-year-old girl would take your eyes out and feed them to you before you could get a half-nelson on her. In fairness, there's a good chance she'd do that to you if you were trying to give her a cupcake, too. Excitable child.


I ate my daddy's eyes?
 
2012-11-21 12:07:54 PM
I read the headline, but then accidentally clicked on the link about arguing politics with the relatives during Thanksgiving dinner. I thought, really? The four year old? There have been holidays during which I've been tempted to take down some of my more annoying adult relatives, but the kids we usually just plop down in front of the TV with some nice seasonal videos when they get on our nerves.

PASS THE WINE I CAN STILL HEAR YOU UNCLE JOE
 
2012-11-21 12:19:33 PM
trappedspirit: I ate my daddy's eyes?

Well, at an early age they need to be taught not to bite the hand that feeds them. Child-rearing is mostly about domesticating dangerous wild animals, after all. You don't want to break their spirits, just train them to a certain appropriate extent.
 
2012-11-21 12:36:47 PM

Diogenes: Q: What's the hardest thing about putting a 4 year old in a double nelson?


A: My penis.


That's known as the "Father Nelson".
 
2012-11-21 01:23:06 PM

traylor: [grouchymuffin.files.wordpress.com image 420x310][grouchymuffin.files.wordpress.com image 420x310]


See, Fark never disappoints. I came into this thread thinking "Someone will post two Ha Ha Nelsons" and, sho nuff...

It's like, if I think it, someone else has already posted it.
 
2012-11-21 02:07:58 PM

RandomAxe: My four-year-old girl would take your eyes out and feed them to you before you could get a half-nelson on her. In fairness, there's a good chance she'd do that to you if you were trying to give her a cupcake, too. Excitable child.


So this is turning into a "My 4 year old is tougher than your 4 year old"?

/Really?
 
HBK
2012-11-21 02:45:01 PM
A double nelson, if I'm reading it correctly, is when one person is applying a full nelson, then somebody puts that person in a full nelson.

In amateur wrestling there are all sorts of variations of the nelson, including the quarter, half, and three-quarter nelsons. A full nelson is illegal in amateur wrestling, but I have used it in a grappling match to get a submission.

I'm kinda surprised it hasn't caught on in MMA as a go-to submission or ground and pound move.
 
2012-11-21 03:00:06 PM
themasterdebater: So this is turning into a "My 4 year old is tougher than your 4 year old"?

No, it's "My 4-year-old is tougher than you."

You can't be a master debater if you can't keep your strawmen straight.

(Gay strawmen are an entirely separate issue.)
 
2012-11-21 04:54:05 PM
The last double Nelson I did were twin sisters,

//memories....
 
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