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(AZ Family)   Add 1 pro-secession Facebook post from your brother with 2 cups of white wine in your dad, stir in gloating election year results by your sister and you've got yourself one of the most volatile family Thanksgiving dinner in years   (azfamily.com) divider line 34
    More: Obvious, Thanksgiving, Facebook, school ages, extended family  
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8733 clicks; posted to Main » on 21 Nov 2012 at 10:10 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-11-21 11:27:33 AM
5 votes:
MY family is still almost all local and because it's large we often invite "extras" to our table (35-40 is not unusual) including extended family of spouses and the like if they have small families. That's how we ended up setting the scene for the Most Awkward Thanksgiving Momenet ever:

Dramatis Personae:
MY Parents: Very devout Catholics, Very Republican, Very Irish when it comes to hospitality (even the kids table has small cordial-sized wine glasses on it) but overall decent people who taught us basic table manners such as don't chew with you mouth open and don't discuss politics or religion at the dinner table

MY eldest sister and her husband, both reasonable conservatives and decent folk. He's a Baptist and she converted so the kids wouldn't get confused

My Brother-in-Law's Sister: Even HE didn't like her. But as she had no friends of her own and their parents had both passed she was a "pity invite" A graduate of Washington Bible College, one of those institutions where they preach the evils of dancing and all form of drink, teach young earth Creationism, and hold that Catholics aren't really Christian and just associating with them puts you in danger of joining them in hell

My Next Eldest sister and Her Husband: Both very liberal and He, while not being outspoken about it, as a teacher had a need to challenge people that said stupid things. He too was raised Baptist but converted to Catholicism after marrying my sis.

This B-I-L's parents: Retired schoolteachers and he was also a baptist minister. Very elderly and VERY gracious in a way that only those raised in 1950's backwoods Virgina can be. Possesed of a dignity and gentility that is everything RIGHT about Southern culture.

My last Oldest sister: At the time in Her Extremely Liberal and Proud phase. A college professor, and the sponsor of her campus' GLBT Outreach club-which is saying something because this was the 90's and it was a Catholic College


So the family had been warned about "Carol" the bible-thumper and how Thanksgiving might be a tech awkward for her given her beliefs that we were all hell-bound pagans (it was the first time since the wedding 10 years ago that she'd ever shown up aat a gathering featuring our family). Given my parents views on the near-sacredness of hospitality and my family's unfortunate tendency towards irreverance and snark when together, we were warned to be on our best behavior and try to make her as comfortable as possible.

We were good, I swear we were. And the first two or three times "Carol" tried to bust out polarizing politcal talk someone deftly parried it into another topic or asked her to pass the stuffing.

But then, apropos of nothing, she busted out a rant about AIDS was obviously God's punishment for homosexuals and how the nation deserved the epidemic because of its sinfulness.

She's couldn't have messed up worse if she dropped a turd in the punchbowl.

You need to understand, my mom is a nurse, and in the early days of the AIDS epidemic one of the few who took care of AIDS patients without hesitation, even though that terrified her because at the time we had no idea how it was spread. I remember her coming home from work, changing clothes in the toolshed and hand-washing her nurses' whites with bleach because while SHE was willing to contract a fatal disease to do her job, she wasn't going to put her family at risk.(oldest and older sis were also a PA and a Nurse respectively and had mom's attitudes towards professionalism)

My Professor sister tired, for a few seconds, but she just could NOT let that go unchallenged, and gave, for her a faily mild rebuke of that opinion (because I'm psychic, I heard her mentally bite off her preferred reply of "So does that mean God REALLY likes lesbians becuase they have an even lower rate of HIV than even straight couples? "-something she later confirmed to me she was DYING to say)

But mild as it was it only spurred "Carol" on to making even more nasty and outrageous statements about dirty gays and God's deserved wrath. At his point my utterly conservative father's bald head was turning red at his efforts not to snap at her for her horrible manners, My mom's eyes revealed a war going on inside her between her commitment to making all her guests happy How angry she was getting. Her brother was glaring daggers at her, which she was willfully ignorning.

It was then that my teacher BIL, who strongly believed in that "The only thing evil require to triumph is for good men to do nothing" quote, butwho was trying to be good, especially in front of his parents, finally couldn't take it anymore and began saying something MUCH more unkind to "carol". But he never got the chance because when his father unexpectedly cut in. Carol had been fawning over him after she found out he was a co-religionist and a Minister to boot, and I suspect her little diatribe might have been to curry favor with him.

If so it didn't work,

In a soft, utterly genteel voice he turned to her and said "Young lady, I supect that college of yours may have neglected to teach you the true meaning of Christian Charity" and then proceeded to deliver a two or three minute lecture on tha nature of a loving God, his belief that god wants no man to suffer and how Jesus rather explicitly destroyed the argument that bodily illness' were somehow a sign of God's displeasure (and argument made all the more powerful since he was nearly blind and confined to a wheelchair). We all wanted to hug him or burst into appluase, but the would have been bad manners as Carol had already been thouroughly humiliated and had the Smack laid down on her from the most unexpected of places.

He later sent us a thank you note thanking us for having him at the meal and including us at our "Lively" table


He's been a welcome guest at our Thanksgiving table ever since. Carol, oddly enough is always travelling on business that week and can never come.
2012-11-21 11:37:41 AM
3 votes:

vudutek: This usually gets the ball rolling...
[www.topatoco.com image 650x271]


I have that bumper sticker. I haven't affixed it to anything yet though.

I had my (early) Thanksgiving dinner already. I was the only Obama voter (and lapsed Mormon) in a room mostly full of Mormon Romney voters (what a shock). The good thing is that we all know that politics is a no-discussion zone, and the evening was thoroughly enjoyable and lacking in stupid drama.

That's really all it takes: Just seek a "don't mention politics" amnesty, and if that doesn't work, just keep saying, "You all know I don't argue politics; can we talk about something less annoying, like the sizes and consistencies of everyone's last bowel movements? Mine was kinda pebbly; I think I need more roughage. What do you all suggest?"
2012-11-21 10:22:48 AM
3 votes:
Which is why I will be having a nice drama free thanksgiving this year at my house with good friends :)
2012-11-21 10:12:30 AM
3 votes:
White people problems.
2012-11-21 11:54:57 AM
2 votes:

Mid_mo_mad_man: conjecture and hearsay: Mid_mo_mad_man: Unfortanly I live 10 miles from my family. Thursday is going to be an epic fight. My uncle the Rand worshiping nut job is blaming the election on my parents who are union workers. I'm bringing my live in gf to meet the extended family. My grandparents are wigging out over the fact her last name is Chavez. My mema asked if she could pass as white. Racist as my uncles are she will be made unwelcome by them. And of course she has a Latin temper. So it's going to be fun

That's awesome because, of course she does.

I'm actually thinking she might go ape s$&t crazy on a few of them. If my grandparents find out she once had a abortion (medical reasons) then it will get bad


There is no reason, whatsoever, that someone's controversial medical history should be brought up over dinner. Not by her, and not by anyone else. You might want to make sure she's clear on this before tomorrow.
2012-11-21 10:43:27 AM
2 votes:

suthrnrunt: HA! this is my family.. my brother... while he may not wear tinfoil, he saves his nail clippings in a jar in his closet and believes sarah palin would have been our savior..... OH!!! he also keeps his wisdom teeth that he got taken out at the ripe age of 19 (note: he's 41) in a napkin in his jacket pocket. carries them around with him 24x7


That's not so much a political issue but a diagnosis found somewhere in deep the bowels of the DSM IV
2012-11-21 10:41:59 AM
2 votes:

dilettantegrrl: Jae0o0: Im the only person in my family that voted for Obama. Every other person from the age of 18 to 70 is a fox news watching Obama hating rage filled person.
I can avoid politics.
They cant.
Help me.

Know that there are many of us out there just like you. I don't know how to deal with this issue either (my neo-con dad is seriously scaring me lately) but I love my family and I remind them of that fact when things get too tense. Good luck and FSM help us all tomorrow.


When they start in, quietly get up, leave the table, open the front door, and head out to a bar where you'll be around people with a common purpose.

Once your family realizes your're gone, they may get the message.
2012-11-21 10:37:33 AM
2 votes:
FTA: And now, it will all play out in person. In this family, the older generation is more liberal, the younger more conservative. So Andrew, a Republican, particularly expects friction with his aunt, Anne Brennan, 57.

How does this happen? If I had kids, I would feel I had failed as a parent, and failed to provide a proper education if they turned out to be Republicans.
2012-11-21 10:27:22 AM
2 votes:
You know all the pictures of the old bloated ladies crying on election night because Mittens lost? Yeah... that is my aunt in a nutshell. My uncle is also a retired stockbroker. They bought the "don't re-nig" bumper stickers and Rick Perry pledge rings (when he was relevant).
I actually chose to have a pescetarian Thanksgiving with my grandparents rather than dealing with that much butthurt and conspiracy theory banter.
2012-11-21 10:22:17 AM
2 votes:
Our two family traditions are being Democrats and Dallas Cowboys fans. So the only thing that will piss us off regarding Washington will be our beloved Cowboys getting beat by the Redskins.
2012-11-21 07:48:43 PM
1 votes:
We need to have another version of this thread AFTER Thanksgiving. To hear the war stories.

/you know, for the kids
2012-11-21 12:33:51 PM
1 votes:
Dear Abby: What wine should I serve at my family's Holiday dinner?

Abby: A lot.
2012-11-21 12:17:39 PM
1 votes:
I'm going to my uncle's house apparently. My mom changed the plans last minute on us. She guilted me into going anyway because his wife died last year about this time and he's trying to put on something big to keep his mind off her.

My uncle, the man who wears a shirt that says "keep the white house white
I told her I may leave early saying I want to get in line for best buy black friday things.
2012-11-21 11:40:28 AM
1 votes:

Mid_mo_mad_man: Unfortanly I live 10 miles from my family. Thursday is going to be an epic fight. My uncle the Rand worshiping nut job is blaming the election on my parents who are union workers. I'm bringing my live in gf to meet the extended family. My grandparents are wigging out over the fact her last name is Chavez. My mema asked if she could pass as white. Racist as my uncles are she will be made unwelcome by them. And of course she has a Latin temper. So it's going to be fun


That's awesome because, of course she does.
kab
2012-11-21 11:32:58 AM
1 votes:
It's adorable how worked up folks get about things they have zero control over.
2012-11-21 11:22:51 AM
1 votes:
Mother - dead over 20 years now
Father - dead over 20 years now
Grandparents - LONG time dead - about 40 years now
Sister - estranged for over ten years (good riddance, the biatch)
Everyone else - there is none
Mrs's relatives - either live too far away or not interested in getting together

Just me and Mrs BrianGriffin, who shares my views on everything except the entertainment worth of science fiction.

The recipe for a great Thanksgiving and Christmas = she, I, our dog Mamie, plenty of eats and booze, and a fire in the fireplace....ahhhh, bliss!
2012-11-21 11:13:31 AM
1 votes:

the money is in the banana stand: fireclown: WTF Indeed: White people problems.

Really? Black families don't get political and pissed off at each other at the holidays? Can I drop over at your place thie Xmas? I'll bring pie.

You have an entire culture where independence of thought and image is looked down upon. Of course they don't get into political discussions because almost everyone is in conformity and agreement. Dress different or think differently? Uncle Tom, why are you trying to be white? Pretty sad really.


I can believe that. A good friend of mine gets that a lot, too. It can't be easy to be black and nerdy in a culture that would brand you as "acting white".
2012-11-21 11:05:24 AM
1 votes:

the money is in the banana stand: I cannot have any sort of discussion with pretty much anyone without being asked or labeled as either a "Republican" or "Democrat"


Yep. One sister calls me a CON, the father calls me a LIB.

Will be spending Thanksgiving with people who call me 'Capie' this year.
2012-11-21 11:04:24 AM
1 votes:

Slaves2Darkness: All look at all those precious middle class yuppie scum, shocked, shocked I tell you that this year at Thanksgiving it might not be all football, booze and family camaraderie.

I hated both Thanksgiving and Christmas right up until I quit attending family functions, now most of them are dead and it is a pleasant time of year. Yes, only after all four of my grandparents, father, mother, four uncles, and two aunts had been planted in the grave did Thanksgiving and Christmas become enjoyable.

Every year someone from my extended family would piss someone off, usually about the first or second week of October, then the offended party would stew about it until Thanksgiving when they would enact their revenge, which inevitably came after a copious amount of alcohol was consumed. The third act of this farking play would come at Christmas, because from Thanksgiving until Christmas the two sides would snipe at each other. On a good year it ended with someone passing out, on bad years the cops were called to break up the brawl.


As a kid I could not avoid being dragged to this family get together, but after I went away to college I always found an excuse to be elsewhere. It was not until I was in my 30's that I realized some people actually like getting together with their family, some people actually have a good time, for some people a family holiday meal does not end up with hurt feelings and black eyes.


Your Irish aren't you? You smell like one of us...
2012-11-21 10:57:40 AM
1 votes:

Publikwerks: First off I remind them that nothing has changed since 2010...


I'm with you there.
i.imgur.com
2012-11-21 10:47:51 AM
1 votes:
All look at all those precious middle class yuppie scum, shocked, shocked I tell you that this year at Thanksgiving it might not be all football, booze and family camaraderie.

I hated both Thanksgiving and Christmas right up until I quit attending family functions, now most of them are dead and it is a pleasant time of year. Yes, only after all four of my grandparents, father, mother, four uncles, and two aunts had been planted in the grave did Thanksgiving and Christmas become enjoyable.

Every year someone from my extended family would piss someone off, usually about the first or second week of October, then the offended party would stew about it until Thanksgiving when they would enact their revenge, which inevitably came after a copious amount of alcohol was consumed. The third act of this farking play would come at Christmas, because from Thanksgiving until Christmas the two sides would snipe at each other. On a good year it ended with someone passing out, on bad years the cops were called to break up the brawl.


As a kid I could not avoid being dragged to this family get together, but after I went away to college I always found an excuse to be elsewhere. It was not until I was in my 30's that I realized some people actually like getting together with their family, some people actually have a good time, for some people a family holiday meal does not end up with hurt feelings and black eyes.
2012-11-21 10:38:13 AM
1 votes:
My family is mostly conservative but we respect each other regardless of opinion and political stances. We rib each other a bit, but it's all rather harmless (same goes for religion - I'm the only atheistand "librul" as far as I know).

A few weeks before the election my Aunt (a staunch Republican Christian) was giving me crap about the President when I first arrived at a big family get-together. I laughed it off, but later that evening as we sat down for dinner, she looked over at me and asked (as she has for years) if I wanted to say the prayer. I usually politely decline, but this time I said sure. I closed my eyes , bowed my head and said "O' Mormon Jesus, please bless this bountiful meal and bless Joseph Smith who brought Your true word to the world on golden plates given to him by a talking bear. Bless Mitt Romney so that he will become President and lead our nation to properity and Mormonism so that we will get our own planets when we die and become the gods of those planets and populate those planets with our kids. In Your name Mormon Jesus, amen."

I looked up and everyone was staring at me, then started laughing and clapping with the exception of my Aunt who just smiled and said "can someone do a REAL prayer now?".
2012-11-21 10:36:04 AM
1 votes:
Jae0o0: "I can avoid politics. They cant."

What are you, 12? Avoid them. Ignore them. Dick around on your phone or tablet. Get drunk. Watch football. Talk to your aunt who won't shut up about her damn cats. Leave early. etc.
2012-11-21 10:29:10 AM
1 votes:

Jae0o0: Im the only person in my family that voted for Obama. Every other person from the age of 18 to 70 is a fox news watching Obama hating rage filled person.
I can avoid politics.
They cant.
Help me.


Know that there are many of us out there just like you. I don't know how to deal with this issue either (my neo-con dad is seriously scaring me lately) but I love my family and I remind them of that fact when things get too tense. Good luck and FSM help us all tomorrow.
2012-11-21 10:28:01 AM
1 votes:

bborchar: My family doesn't even need politics to add drama to Thanksgiving...my idiot brother and his insufferable wife make sure every holiday is ruined. This year they aren't coming (they got mad over my parents not giving them money), but decided to still send insulting text messages to my sister and mother and refuse to let their kids come over for dinner. People are idiots if they let ideology get in the way of family...I'd take political banter over my brother and sil any day.


My two brother's wives are not allowed to be in the same room together they fight so bad. My oldest brother has three kids, and his wife has a daughter from a previous marriage. His stepdaughter is 17 and pregnant, his daughter is 13 and turning boy crazy. My SIL actually told my sister and I that we were prudes because we didn't think it was ok for a 13 year old to have their boyfriend spend the night in their room with the door closed.
2012-11-21 10:27:09 AM
1 votes:
We've already had our pre-Thanksgiving blow-up. Since my right-wing secessionist nut parents are ten hours away, I'll be spared dealing with them this week in person. We're still trying to decide Christmas, though, and familial guilt is a powerful rod. Honest to god, the way my health has been going from dealing with them, I'm leaning towards 'they can farking stew up there in the asshole of nowhere.'
2012-11-21 10:26:04 AM
1 votes:

Jae0o0: Im the only person in my family that voted for Obama. Every other person from the age of 18 to 70 is a fox news watching Obama hating rage filled person.
I can avoid politics.
They cant.
Help me.


I can't help much, since I'm in a similar boat. Sorry.

Though I can say that most of the family will probably try to avoid politics this holiday, I dread the presence of my step-niece's husband. He's a WND fan, loves to take any opportunity to spout crap, looking for affirmation. The trouble is that he's also got a mental disability (really - it's a formally diagnosed medical condition), so I can't say much to counter him without looking like I'm trying to score on the intellectually disabled. I may have to get up and leave the room if he starts in, for the sake of my own sanity.
2012-11-21 10:24:10 AM
1 votes:

Jae0o0: Im the only person in my family that voted for Obama. Every other person from the age of 18 to 70 is a fox news watching Obama hating rage filled person.
I can avoid politics.
They cant.
Help me.


Don't go. That simple
2012-11-21 10:21:13 AM
1 votes:
This is why I don't understand why people bother with Thanksgiving.
It's just a pain in the arse, bunch of BS.
2012-11-21 10:20:58 AM
1 votes:
Wine on the table huh? You know they all drove drunk after their meal.

Where's the dui outrage? WHERE ARE THE BADGE-LICKERS?
2012-11-21 10:20:05 AM
1 votes:
You generally don't have anything to worry about from white wine drinking dads. Except maybe some drama.
2012-11-21 10:19:58 AM
1 votes:
I'm lucky here. Everyone who'll be at dinner is on the same page, except my crazy tin-foil hat wearing brother, who's so far left he's right.

/but at least he can discuss in a civil manner.
2012-11-21 10:16:28 AM
1 votes:

Jae0o0: Im the only person in my family that voted for Obama. Every other person from the age of 18 to 70 is a fox news watching Obama hating rage filled person.
I can avoid politics.
They cant.
Help me.


Post this on their Facebook Pages.

imageshack.us
2012-11-21 10:12:22 AM
1 votes:
Im the only person in my family that voted for Obama. Every other person from the age of 18 to 70 is a fox news watching Obama hating rage filled person.
I can avoid politics.
They cant.
Help me.
 
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