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(Victoria Times Colonist)   Six high-end coffemakers stolen in one afternoon from three Starbucks locations in Canadian city. Police have grounds to believe it was a thin, medium height dark-complected con man. A skinny grande mocha smoothie, if you will   (timescolonist.com) divider line 52
    More: Obvious, robbery, Starbucks, Canadians, Garry Trudeau, mall security, personal incomes  
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2562 clicks; posted to Main » on 20 Nov 2012 at 6:33 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-11-20 02:53:23 PM
Selling coffee has its perks for those who have bean so lucky.
 
2012-11-20 03:04:16 PM
I like my coffee like I like my men: rich, dark and Italian.
 
2012-11-20 03:07:20 PM
I like the convenience of my Tassimo but DAMN. I wouldn't mind one of those automatic espresso machines.
 
2012-11-20 03:21:11 PM
Quite a "bold" theft to take place in the daylight.
 
2012-11-20 03:42:43 PM
So now The Onion, celebrated for their zany approach to the news, has fallen under the spell of the radical left

If The Onion isn't already on the list of things opposing the GOP, they sure are now.

"Radical left"? Do we actually HAVE any of those in this country any more?
 
2012-11-20 04:06:36 PM
I have an ironclad alibi...that I left in my car...which is parked far away so it will take me a while to return with said alibi
 
2012-11-20 04:12:47 PM
I like my coffee makers like I like my women: cheap, plastic, and really into enemas.
 
2012-11-20 04:17:20 PM

Ed Finnerty: I like my coffee makers like I like my women: cheap, plastic, and really into enemas.


I like my coffee makers the way I like my women: shipped over from Korea a gross at a time.
 
2012-11-20 04:20:38 PM

Mr. Coffee Nerves: Ed Finnerty: I like my coffee makers like I like my women: cheap, plastic, and really into enemas.

I like my coffee makers the way I like my women: shipped over from Korea a gross at a time.


I like my coffee makers the way I like my women: handled roughly by disinterested teenagers in aprons while I wait on line with hipsters and soccer moms.
 
2012-11-20 04:25:24 PM

Marcus Aurelius: So now The Onion, celebrated for their zany approach to the news, has fallen under the spell of the radical left

If The Onion isn't already on the list of things opposing the GOP, they sure are now.

"Radical left"? Do we actually HAVE any of those in this country any more?


Wrong thread there, sparky.

/CSB: My friend was trying to make a joke to his uncle once about women & coffee. 'I like my women like I like my coffee.' Before the punchline, his uncle chimes in: "What, strong and black?"

He never got to finish it.
 
2012-11-20 05:08:38 PM
I like my coffee like I like my women- ground up and in the freezer.
 
2012-11-20 06:34:03 PM

unyon: I like my coffee like I like my women- ground up and in the freezer.


I like women like I like my coffee... Covered in bees!.
 
mjg
2012-11-20 06:35:36 PM
4.bp.blogspot.com

picture of suspect
 
2012-11-20 06:37:41 PM
This must leave the franchise owners burned and with a bitter taste in their mouths. Like drinking Starbucks coffee, really.
 
2012-11-20 06:38:58 PM
Subby, I don't know who you are, but I like the cut of your jib. That was glorious headline, ending with a crescendo of sublimity.
 
2012-11-20 06:39:37 PM
headline hall of shame
 
2012-11-20 06:45:07 PM
Hipster theft to start independent shop?
 
2012-11-20 06:49:00 PM
Betcha they were black.
/The coffees, I mean.
 
2012-11-20 06:50:52 PM
I would have held out for one of these.
 
2012-11-20 06:51:31 PM
images.sodahead.com
 
2012-11-20 06:52:46 PM
I like my like like I like my like - like, like like and like.
 
2012-11-20 06:54:34 PM
I like my coffee like I like my women, hot and bitter!


/Ground up and stored in the freezer was already taken.
 
2012-11-20 06:54:45 PM
Oh, bravo Subby! HOTY candidate!

:)
 
2012-11-20 06:57:32 PM
img689.imageshack.us
/obscurely yummy
//semi-relevant
 
2012-11-20 07:03:07 PM

Anderson's Pooper: I like my coffee like I like my women, hot and bitter!


/Ground up and stored in the freezer was already taken.


Cold, dark and bitter.
 
2012-11-20 07:06:12 PM
I like my women like I like my coffee: whatever's cheapest at Safeway that day.
 
2012-11-20 07:08:15 PM

brimed03: Oh, bravo Subby! HOTY candidate!

:)


What's up, Subby
 
2012-11-20 07:10:36 PM
Sure why not...

I like my women like I like my coffee, hot and in the kitchen.
 
2012-11-20 07:11:16 PM
That's just rich, subby. Strong and dark.
 
2012-11-20 07:14:28 PM
The single-use Verismo machines were developed for home use and sell for $199.

Wow, you've got to be some kind of douche to pay $200 for a single-use coffee machine. I drink around eight cups of coffee a day, so that would run me over a thousand bucks a week.
 
2012-11-20 07:20:01 PM

p4p3rm4t3: /obscurely yummy
//semi-relevant


Nanaimo bar
 
2012-11-20 07:22:22 PM
What high coffee makers look like...

i.i.com.com

www.straitpinkie.com

img180.imageshack.us

i.i.com.com

blogs.westword.com

lh6.ggpht.com
 
2012-11-20 07:38:25 PM
That headline sucked.

Fortunately, somebody had the good sense to post some good boob pics to save this sorry ass thread.
 
2012-11-20 07:45:18 PM

HighZoolander: Subby, I don't know who you are, but I like the cut of your jib. That was glorious headline, ending with a crescendo of sublimity.


I laughed. I laughed again. I'm still laughing.
 
2012-11-20 07:52:38 PM
corn man?

www.2dolphins.com
 
2012-11-20 08:02:55 PM

CygnusDarius: unyon: I like my coffee like I like my women- ground up and in the freezer.

I like women like I like my coffee... Covered in bees!.


I'm actually a bit surprised it took that long for someone to post it. Fark must be slipping.
 
2012-11-20 08:06:41 PM
Oh, thank goodness. I thought they meant those $75,000 Italian jobbies made of brass and copper.
 
2012-11-20 08:33:10 PM
If captured will they be charged with Grandé Theft Latté?
 
2012-11-20 08:42:48 PM
I like how the estimate the coffee makers were sold on the street to make money for drugs, when they cannot possibly know that.

Sold on the street? yeah highly likely can't imagine a pawnshop touching them once the story hit the news.

As for what the thief spent the cash on? Who knows may have been drugs could have just as easily been spent on something else.
 
2012-11-20 08:43:35 PM
Subby has been working on that headline for a while waiting his time, hasn't he?
 
2012-11-20 08:44:38 PM

p4p3rm4t3: /obscurely yummy
//semi-relevant


Nanaimo bar... Droooool.....
 
2012-11-20 08:54:05 PM
If you're going to steal an expensive coffee maker, at least go big.
 
gja [TotalFark]
2012-11-20 08:54:10 PM
I like my women like I like my coffee, hot, sweet and ready to put some cream in.

/oh come on, like I was the first to think that?
 
2012-11-20 09:04:23 PM
"High end"? $200 for an espresso machine is very very very low end.

Article must have been written by a Starbucks propagandist.
 
2012-11-20 09:09:18 PM
New reports state he had an accomplice. A pyschic midget.

Police told to be on the lookout for a small medium at large.
 
2012-11-20 09:12:08 PM
 
2012-11-20 09:18:27 PM

CygnusDarius: unyon: I like my coffee like I like my women- ground up and in the freezer.

I like women like I like my coffee... Covered in bees!.


I like my women like I like my coffee... artificially sweet and full of cream.
 
2012-11-20 09:22:02 PM

rockforever: "High end"? $200 for an espresso machine is very very very low end.


It's not an espresso machine. It pumps hot water through little packs of coffee that cost a buck a piece. Of course, once you pay your $199, the machine is useless unless you keep buying these $1 capsules containing 20 cents worth of coffee from Starbucks.
 
2012-11-20 10:22:23 PM

p4p3rm4t3: /obscurely yummy
//semi-relevant


You know the two main ingredients in a Namaimo bar?

Hookers and bikers

/hereallweektrytheveal
 
2012-11-21 01:35:20 AM
This is a greenlit headline? I've written better ones in my sleep.
 
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