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(Forbes)   HP announces they have no profits this quarter after writing off the $10 billion they spent aquiring Autonomy, a software company specializing in phony accounting and vaporware   (forbes.com) divider line 30
    More: Obvious, liberty, software company, account of profits  
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1547 clicks; posted to Geek » on 20 Nov 2012 at 12:39 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-11-20 12:35:03 PM
Before it's all said and done, I suspect there will be criminal charges filed against numerous involved parties, including the former CEOs of both companies.

Oh, and what's $10 billion to HP, anyway? Isn't that like, TWELVE printer ink refill kits at retail?
 
2012-11-20 12:59:15 PM
I am sort of confused here as to what HP thought they were buying. They are basically implying that 88% of the reason they spent 10 billion dollars was for this phony software that doesn't even work. Now regardless if it works or not it is essentially a search engine for a large repository of files. Surely HP has something like this of their own. And even if they didn't. Something like that isn't worth 10 billion dollars. nor 8.8 billion based on the write down. Something like that at BEST is a few million. its not revolutionary its just helpful.

So you then ask yourself the question. Again .. just what did HP THINK they were buying? (if you say the customers, they could easily walk and HP is left with nothing)

In addition to this. They claim that they were hiding the costs of disk and server rentals into "new" purchases of their software. So if we assume this is the case, there should be a MASSIVE discrepancy between the amount of disk space being used/maintained and incoming revenues. Seeing as this is HPs bread and butter operation, how could they not spot that discrepancy from a mile away? Are their Executives sleeping on the job? or are they just closing their eyes due to how ugly Meg Whitman is ?
 
2012-11-20 01:01:08 PM

poisonedpawn78: Are their Executives sleeping on the job? or are they just closing their eyes due to how ugly Meg Whitman is ?


She wasn't CEO when the deal went down.
 
2012-11-20 01:05:15 PM

poisonedpawn78: I am sort of confused here as to what HP thought they were buying. They are basically implying that 88% of the reason they spent 10 billion dollars was for this phony software that doesn't even work. Now regardless if it works or not it is essentially a search engine for a large repository of files. Surely HP has something like this of their own. And even if they didn't. Something like that isn't worth 10 billion dollars. nor 8.8 billion based on the write down. Something like that at BEST is a few million. its not revolutionary its just helpful.

So you then ask yourself the question. Again .. just what did HP THINK they were buying? (if you say the customers, they could easily walk and HP is left with nothing)

In addition to this. They claim that they were hiding the costs of disk and server rentals into "new" purchases of their software. So if we assume this is the case, there should be a MASSIVE discrepancy between the amount of disk space being used/maintained and incoming revenues. Seeing as this is HPs bread and butter operation, how could they not spot that discrepancy from a mile away? Are their Executives sleeping on the job? or are they just closing their eyes due to how ugly Meg Whitman is ?


That was my big question too, if they were essentially diverting revnue from storage spaces sales into phony software sales shouldn't somebody have noticed they were essentially giving away storage at fire sale prices?
 
2012-11-20 01:34:42 PM
Bwahaha.

Autonomy is a customer of my work, so I've had to put up with them pretty regularly. Couldn't happen to a more deserving bunch of assholes.
 
2012-11-20 02:32:53 PM

Magorn: That was my big question too, if they were essentially diverting revnue from storage spaces sales into phony software sales shouldn't somebody have noticed they were essentially giving away storage at fire sale prices?


They told the HP execs that the storage space sales were at fire sale prices, but that they'd make all the money back once customer had exhausted the storage, by selling them colossally over-priced refills.
 
2012-11-20 03:13:42 PM
How farking stupid are the people at HP?

If you are going to spend $10billion then you make sure its damn well worth $10billion and not some Enron style price pump scam.

For a $10billion you should have enginers pulling apart the product and accountants pulling apart the books.

What i expect happend is that some higher up bought into the buzz words and wanted to be the person who brokered a $10billion deal and made sure no one said anything bad about the deal.
 
2012-11-20 03:16:28 PM
I've always wondered how HP stays in business. Ya think it's the price they charge for printer ink?
 
2012-11-20 03:23:23 PM
I'm looking forward to Bain buying HP and driving it into the ground.
 
2012-11-20 03:31:01 PM
HP is like RadioShack -- how the hell are they still in business?
 
2012-11-20 03:35:53 PM
For HP to have bought Palm only to screw every thing up about it, they really have little chance of redemption with me.

They just went full retard on another thing.

I just hope that they keep going so that I continue having my devices working (thanks to everything being based on their servers instead of local backups).

/still love my Touchpad and Pre phones.
 
2012-11-20 03:38:00 PM
Dear corporate whores.

Nobody buys this sh*t anymore.

F*ck you up your slimy, grasping, thug asses.

Sincerely, people who actually work for a living.
 
2012-11-20 03:38:02 PM
And to think, these were our toughest competitors just 5 years ago...
 
2012-11-20 04:00:09 PM
As an owner of HPQ put options, I, for one, welcome a never-ending stream of bad news about HP.

I think I bought those options about 3 months ago, and they have now well over doubled (the ones with the highest strike price). Now I just wish I had had the brass to go balls deep on it.
 
2012-11-20 04:03:06 PM

MrEricSir: HP is like RadioShack -- how the hell are they still in business?


Well, RadioShack has those remote-control helicopters.


My favorite HP product is this:

i512.photobucket.com

It's the computer at my desk. It's in the old-school "desktop" configuration, laying on its side, but at left you can see that it has rubber feet so that it could stand up in the popular "tower" configuration.
It has ports for SD cards and HP pocket media and such, and a DVD-ROM drive.

i512.photobucket.com 

My question is this; when standing up in "tower" configuration, how does the DVD get in the drive, and stay in?
 
2012-11-20 04:06:57 PM
Hey, HP. The petard you are about to be hoist upon, let me show you the initials monogrammed on it.
 
2012-11-20 04:08:56 PM

macadamnut: MrEricSir: HP is like RadioShack -- how the hell are they still in business?

Well, RadioShack has those remote-control helicopters.


My favorite HP product is this:

[i512.photobucket.com image 640x480]

It's the computer at my desk. It's in the old-school "desktop" configuration, laying on its side, but at left you can see that it has rubber feet so that it could stand up in the popular "tower" configuration.
It has ports for SD cards and HP pocket media and such, and a DVD-ROM drive.

[i512.photobucket.com image 640x480] 

My question is this; when standing up in "tower" configuration, how does the DVD get in the drive, and stay in?


I got an Acer quad core Aspire for my DAW with a SSD for the main drive. It also can have the box on end or flat. I pondered the same thing and, yeah, it can be done, but you can also drive with your feet, yet nobody seems to bother. I just stuck with the horizontal orientation.
 
2012-11-20 04:14:34 PM

markie_farkie: poisonedpawn78: Are their Executives sleeping on the job? or are they just closing their eyes due to how ugly Meg Whitman is ?

She wasn't CEO when the deal went down.


She was on the Board of Directors and voted in favor of the deal.

But it's totally not her fault.
 
2012-11-20 04:41:15 PM

imfallen_angel: For HPPalm to have bought Palm US Robotics only to screw every thing up about it, they really have little chance of redemption with me.


Fark Palm.
 
2012-11-20 04:41:34 PM

macadamnut: MrEricSir: HP is like RadioShack -- how the hell are they still in business?

Well, RadioShack has those remote-control helicopters.


My favorite HP product is this:

[i512.photobucket.com image 640x480]

It's the computer at my desk. It's in the old-school "desktop" configuration, laying on its side, but at left you can see that it has rubber feet so that it could stand up in the popular "tower" configuration.
It has ports for SD cards and HP pocket media and such, and a DVD-ROM drive.

[i512.photobucket.com image 640x480] 

My question is this; when standing up in "tower" configuration, how does the DVD get in the drive, and stay in?


The DVD drive is designed to keep a DVD in the tray if the drive is vertical. There are little tabs that the disc sits in. You should try it sometime, they work great.
 
2012-11-20 04:44:46 PM

macadamnut: My question is this; when standing up in "tower" configuration, how does the DVD get in the drive, and stay in?


There are two little notches on the left side of the trey that hold the disk upright when the case is upright.

/I bought these for my wife's office
//most have them laying down with the monitor on top
 
2012-11-20 05:15:01 PM
We were screwed by Autonomy with their Zantaz product, so I can't say I'm shocked. After working with them for years to get it working, I went to a class to be 'certified' to continue getting our level of support we needed. Found out then that their dev manager was a farking maniac. The difference module teams could not talk to each other outside of planned and scheduled meetings, which I gathered were not very often. So you would end up with modules that had radio button for selection in one part of the product while the module it fed into had check boxes. All sorts of other stuff like that was tossed in the product.

Why HP acquired them I have no idea, but we no they bought Palm and had no idea where to go from there either. Strange company.
 
2012-11-20 05:40:57 PM

macadamnut: MrEricSir: HP is like RadioShack -- how the hell are they still in business?

Well, RadioShack has those remote-control helicopters.


My favorite HP product is this:

[i512.photobucket.com image 640x480]

It's the computer at my desk. It's in the old-school "desktop" configuration, laying on its side, but at left you can see that it has rubber feet so that it could stand up in the popular "tower" configuration.
It has ports for SD cards and HP pocket media and such, and a DVD-ROM drive.

[i512.photobucket.com image 640x480] 

My question is this; when standing up in "tower" configuration, how does the DVD get in the drive, and stay in?


Probably the exact same way the disc stays in if you have an Xbox360 standing upright; one side of the disc tray is a "V" rather than just open.
 
2012-11-20 05:43:53 PM
HP bought Autonomy? That means I can no longer buy their products, else I'd be supporting the spuds.


/gooner!
//5-2!!
 
2012-11-20 07:06:28 PM
Remember, folks, free-market corporations are the epitome of profit-driven efficiency and do nothing without an eye on the bottom line to make sure things work. If the government had done something like this it would have been even worse. All of the C-level executives involved in this need seven-figure bonuses because they're not socialist commies or something.
 
2012-11-20 07:52:12 PM

macadamnut:
My question is this; when standing up in "tower" configuration, how does the DVD get in the drive, and stay in?


If you look the optical drive has little stand offs to keep the disk in place as the tray is retracted. Once inside the spindle will lift, thus moving the disk off the plastic tray and lock via magnets to the other side of the mechanism that is unpowered.

On older units you can actually hear the 'clunk' as the mechanism lifts the disk and locks to it's other half.

Now how the hell it did all that in my old slot loading NEC 4x4 unit I've no sodding clue; black magic I tell yer!
 
2012-11-20 10:24:28 PM

theorellior: Remember, folks, free-market corporations are the epitome of profit-driven efficiency and do nothing without an eye on the bottom line to make sure things work. If the government had done something like this it would have been even worse. All of the C-level executives involved in this need seven-figure bonuses because they're not socialist commies or something.


If Obama were on the case, theres no way billions would be invested in unprofitable useless technology.
 
2012-11-20 11:46:23 PM
While Carly "The Hatchet" Fiorina was deliberately sandbagging HP for her real employer, (read more at http://www.uncoveror.com/fiorina.htm) I think Meg Whitman is just a well meaning incompetent. Only time will tell which one does more harm. William Hewlett and David Packard would be disgusted if they could see the company they started now.
 
2012-11-21 12:38:23 AM
Fiorina
Hurd
that other guy
Meg

They all suck. Fiorina and Hurd created a company that rewarded stupidity and forced thinking people to leave. By the time that Leo showed up, every manager/executive above section manager was officially brain dead. The more they struggle to make up for their previous stupidity, the deeper the hole they dig for themselves.

Meg is a fat pig who made her money off of a business model that has nothing to do with HP. A comment was made today by a HP scientist that all of the MBA's should have been fired 12 years ago, because even an engineer with no business experience would not have made the idiot moves they have done in the last decade.

HP executive and management has destroyed a formerly great company. They all are equally responsible. At my current company I have a hand in hiring new executives. When someone comes with an HP resume, my first question is "Why the f**k would any sane person hire anyone with so little experience doing anything right?" All of them state that they had X number of years managing at HP proving my point about just how stupid they are. The correct answer would be, "I apologize for f**king up a company with history like HP. Perhaps you have a job scrubbing toilets so that I can understand what a piece of crap I am?"

A question was asked, just how stupid are the people HP? They are uncorrectably stupid. They will destroy that company in the next 5 years. They will mouth words that they are doing great, but they will fail.

/sold HP short
//knew they would fail
///know they will continue to fail
////thank you for the money
 
2012-11-21 07:46:05 AM

rosebud_the_sled: Meg is a fat pig who made her money off of a business model that has nothing to do with HP. A comment was made today by a HP scientist that all of the MBA's should have been fired 12 years ago, because even an engineer with no business experience would not have made the idiot moves they have done in the last decade.


If you consider that MBA really stands for Masters of Business Assassination, then everything becomes clear.
 
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