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(Daily Mail)   One in five men has a secret email account they use to hide correspondence from their partner. In other news, have you checked your ultrafark account lately?   (dailymail.co.uk) divider line 146
    More: Stupid, phishing scam, online banking, e-mails  
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3487 clicks; posted to Main » on 20 Nov 2012 at 11:25 AM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-11-20 02:48:50 PM  

JackieRabbit: AutumnWind: Marriage therapists agree with your wife. Sorry, but they see everyday what comes of partners opening secret email and other communications accounts. Why do you feel that you have some sort of right to a private email account that your wife cannot see? Marriage isn't about mine and yours, but ours. If you aren't hiding anything, it shouldn't make any difference.

If that's how it's supposed to be I'm never getting married. Just reading this and thinking about it makes me feel suffocated. People who write diaries aren't hiding anything usually, but they wouldn't want somebody else reading their personal thoughts there either. If I wanted to fuse into one person I'd become a mad scientist. I think it's also disrespectful to people who are writing to you and expecting YOU only to be reading the mail. I don't think I'd want to write to friends anymore if I knew they were sharing my mails. And I've got nothing to hide and don't write anything weird.... but I'm writing to them, not them and somebody else.

No, you should not marry. At least not until you come to understand two things: 1) to marry is to voluntarily surrender autonomy for the sake of the relationship, so that the two of you can build a life together; and 2) that no one's diary has ever talked them into trysting at the local motel during lunch.

There is a HUGE difference between a diary or journal and a secret email account, of which your spouse has no knowledge or, if he/she knows about it, is refused all access. A diary is used to record one's experiences and feelings for purely personal reasons; it must remain sacrosanct private or it is useless. An email account is about communicating with others - dialog, not monolog. You should not expect that your electronic communications (which really aren't private at all) rise to the standard of a diary/journal. We used to have a saying in the early days of the internet: never put anything into an email you wouldn't want your mother to read. ...


I have a problem with your idea that everything I do is open to being monitored by my SO. (For one thing, I poop) To start with, I have friends who talk to me about things that are personal to them, and that they don't want to be widely known. Be damned if I know why, but apparently I'm good at listening to people complain about their relationship or lack thereof. They don't want me telling everyone about it - and telling my SO is still gossiping. I have relationships with people who I'm in no way interested in marrying or screwing and some of that includes being able to keep my mouth shut. Some of that talking happens via email or google chat, so if she did want to see my email, I'd have to ask her not to open any from a couple different women.

And even if it wasn't for that, I simply will not tolerate being monitered. I'm marrying my fiancee because I love her and want to spend the rest of my life with her. That doesn't mean I'm agreeing to account to her for every second. Married or no, we're different people with different interests - when I'm doing something she's not interested in, she doesn't need to be a part of it, and vice versa.

Another thing is that if the only thing keeping your SO from cheating on you is that you'll read the email, there's not really anything keeping them from cheating on you.
 
2012-11-20 02:48:55 PM  

JackieRabbit: No, you should not marry. At least not until you come to understand two things: 1) to marry is to voluntarily surrender autonomy for the sake of the relationship, so that the two of you can build a life together; and 2) that no one's diary has ever talked them into trysting at the local motel during lunch.


Point 1 begs the question.

That may be your definition, and it may work for you. But I can tell you it is not the way my wife and I view marriage. In fact, we expect that we each retain some autonomy for the sake of the relationship. We did *not* want to become one organism, rather complement each other yet retain our identies.
It works for us very well; it may not work for you - we can all agree there is no right or wrong way to be married.
 
2012-11-20 02:49:32 PM  

kiwimoogle84: Jackie Rabbit-

"No, you should not marry...to marry is to voluntarily surrender autonomy for the sake of the relationship, so that the two of you can build a life together"

WHAT?!?

Ok. Fun story time. I have a friend. He's been married for ten years. Over the course of those ten years all the things he loved before they got together (anime, video games, pinup girls, roller derby, smoking a pipe, magic the gathering, comic books, etc) eventually got all packed into boxes in the garage. He has no hobbies. He has no friends because his wife disapproves of them. He exists to drive his wife and her mother around. He is a slave to her whims and can't even leave the house for an hour without explaining himself fully, and even then it always leads to an argument.

By your definition, this is a normal, healthy, functional marriage.

WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?

A functioning marriage is about compromise and maintaining a sense of self even though you are half of a whole. Being fine with spending an evening by yourself or out with your people while they are at their DnD group. A wife happy to make lots of little sandwiches and spinach dip for the guys then excusing herself to a pedicure while they watch the Super Bowl. A husband happy to spend a night at his buddy's house so they can have a Molly Ringwald marathon and makeovers sleepover party.

There is something very VERY wrong with your brain if you think for ONE INSTANT that becoming a blob of two people where you can't tell where one ends and the other begins is a healthy marriage.

/endrant


Let me clear up that " A husband happy to spend a night at his buddy's house so they can have a Molly Ringwald marathon and makeovers sleepover party" is the wife having friends over, not the man doing that with his buddy. Though that should have been obvious.
 
2012-11-20 02:50:36 PM  

kiwimoogle84: Let me clear up that " A husband happy to spend a night at his buddy's house so they can have a Molly Ringwald marathon and makeovers sleepover party" is the wife having friends over, not the man doing that with his buddy. Though that should have been obvious.


Don't judge me!
 
2012-11-20 02:51:29 PM  

kiwimoogle84: Let me clear up that " A husband happy to spend a night at his buddy's house so they can have a Molly Ringwald marathon and makeovers sleepover party" is the wife having friends over, not the man doing that with his buddy. Though that should have been obvious


Not that there's anything wrong with that....
 
2012-11-20 03:03:37 PM  

JackieRabbit: Emails are forever and you completely lose control over them after you press send, as Gen. David Petraeus was recently reminded.


Just a point of clarification - He wasn't even hitting send. They had a joint email account, and would save 'drafts' that the other would read.

kiwimoogle84: Jackie Rabbit-

"No, you should not marry...to marry is to voluntarily surrender autonomy for the sake of the relationship, so that the two of you can build a life together"

WHAT?!?

Ok. Fun story time. I have a friend. He's been married for ten years. Over the course of those ten years all the things he loved before they got together (anime, video games, pinup girls, roller derby, smoking a pipe, magic the gathering, comic books, etc) eventually got all packed into boxes in the garage. He has no hobbies. He has no friends because his wife disapproves of them. He exists to drive his wife and her mother around. He is a slave to her whims and can't even leave the house for an hour without explaining himself fully, and even then it always leads to an argument.

By your definition, this is a normal, healthy, functional marriage.

WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?

A functioning marriage is about compromise and maintaining a sense of self even though you are half of a whole. Being fine with spending an evening by yourself or out with your people while they are at their DnD group. A wife happy to make lots of little sandwiches and spinach dip for the guys then excusing herself to a pedicure while they watch the Super Bowl. A husband happy to spend a night at his buddy's house so they can have a Molly Ringwald marathon and makeovers sleepover party.

There is something very VERY wrong with your brain if you think for ONE INSTANT that becoming a blob of two people where you can't tell where one ends and the other begins is a healthy marriage.

/endrant


The more I get to know you, the more I like you...
 
2012-11-20 03:09:02 PM  

JackieRabbit: No, you should not marry. At least not until you come to understand two things: 1) to marry is to voluntarily surrender autonomy for the sake of the relationship, so that the two of you can build a life together;


This might be your feelings on the matter but if you think how you feel should apply to everyone you are batshiat crazy.

See the link I gave earlier regarding relationship dialectics. Think of a gauge and on one side is "complete autonomy" and other the other side is "complete connectedness".

If the connected side of the gauge works for you and your spouse, great. I lean "autonomous". So does my girlfriend. That does not mean we are both completely autonomous. It isn't black or white, it is finding someone who likes the same shade of grey that you do.
 
2012-11-20 03:09:44 PM  
I've been married. We took one some of each other's hobbies and likes but when he planned his friend's bachelor party, I helped pick out the stripper!

When we hosted a friend's 25th birthday, he singlehandedly rearranged all the furniture for me before stocking the fridge and helping me decorate, even though he didn't know her that well. He even helped me clean up the next day and did most of it because I was really hung over.

Any good marriage is give and take, not 100% give. Any woman who wants to squash a person's individual awesomeness doesn't deserve them. That goes the other way around, too. My brother in law has almost completely beaten down my sister's free will and I hate it.

And thanks for backing me up, guys. I knew I wasn't (entirely) crazy.
 
2012-11-20 03:10:01 PM  

JackieRabbit: 2) that no one's diary has ever talked them into trysting at the local motel during lunch.


That.. um... that's not entirely true. I've been known to appreciate a notebook with nice binding.

/That diary is well built.
//And if you get a few, then they can be stacked!
 
2012-11-20 03:10:22 PM  

jst3p: JackieRabbit: No, you should not marry. At least not until you come to understand two things: 1) to marry is to voluntarily surrender autonomy for the sake of the relationship, so that the two of you can build a life together;

This might be your feelings on the matter but if you think how you feel should apply to everyone you are batshiat crazy.

See the link I gave earlier regarding relationship dialectics. Think of a gauge and on one side is "complete autonomy" and other the other side is "complete connectedness".

If the connected side of the gauge works for you and your spouse, great. I lean "autonomous". So does my girlfriend. That does not mean we are both completely autonomous. It isn't black or white, it is finding someone who likes the same shade of grey that you do.


Ok I had you favor
 
2012-11-20 03:11:42 PM  

jst3p: JackieRabbit: No, you should not marry. At least not until you come to understand two things: 1) to marry is to voluntarily surrender autonomy for the sake of the relationship, so that the two of you can build a life together;

This might be your feelings on the matter but if you think how you feel should apply to everyone you are batshiat crazy.

See the link I gave earlier regarding relationship dialectics. Think of a gauge and on one side is "complete autonomy" and other the other side is "complete connectedness".

If the connected side of the gauge works for you and your spouse, great. I lean "autonomous". So does my girlfriend. That does not mean we are both completely autonomous. It isn't black or white, it is finding someone who likes the same shade of grey that you do.


Ok I had you favorited in orange for a while (orange means I'm not sure if I like you) but you've proven to be reasonable. Back to green you go.

(FYI the fark iPhone app kind of blows, it's too easy to accidentally hit submit before you're done)
 
2012-11-20 03:16:26 PM  

kiwimoogle84: jst3p: JackieRabbit: No, you should not marry. At least not until you come to understand two things: 1) to marry is to voluntarily surrender autonomy for the sake of the relationship, so that the two of you can build a life together;

This might be your feelings on the matter but if you think how you feel should apply to everyone you are batshiat crazy.

See the link I gave earlier regarding relationship dialectics. Think of a gauge and on one side is "complete autonomy" and other the other side is "complete connectedness".

If the connected side of the gauge works for you and your spouse, great. I lean "autonomous". So does my girlfriend. That does not mean we are both completely autonomous. It isn't black or white, it is finding someone who likes the same shade of grey that you do.

Ok I had you favorited in orange for a while (orange means I'm not sure if I like you) but you've proven to be reasonable. Back to green you go.

(FYI the fark iPhone app kind of blows, it's too easy to accidentally hit submit before you're done)


I like you too.

Don't worry, I am often kind of an ass so I bet you move me back to orange in no time!

I do find it humorous when someone says "my marriage works and this is how we do it, so everyone should do it this way!"

Then again I am twice divorced so what do I know?
 
2012-11-20 03:17:06 PM  

kiwimoogle84: I knew I wasn't (entirely) crazy.


Right...

As long ass you're saying something similar to me, there might be a problem with that reasoning.
 
2012-11-20 03:17:13 PM  
At first, my take was just, "so this is actually an issue for people? Weird, I never really thought about it."

The more I read through the thread, I've got to say: if your sense of personal privacy in a relationship depends on having secret passwords, that's sort of sad. I mean, if the only way you can trust that your partner is not rooting through your email is to do the virtual-world equivalent of hiding a key in a coffee tin buried out in the backyard...maybe your relationship has bigger issues.

I mean, if you leave your computer on around in your home, do you actually feel the need to log out from your email account before you leave the room? Because that's perfectly normal behavior...around coworkers and the like. Around the person you supposedly committed yourself to for the rest of your life, in your own home...that's, kinda weird.
 
2012-11-20 03:32:42 PM  
For those of you calling me down about my ideas about marriage: there's a reason why the divorce rate is over 50% and why the failure rate of cohabiting relationships is 87%. You are illustrating it for us.

Believe what you will or must. Get back to me in 20 years and let me know how it works out for you.
 
2012-11-20 03:35:48 PM  

JackieRabbit: For those of you calling me down about my ideas about marriage: there's a reason why the divorce rate is over 50% and why the failure rate of cohabiting relationships is 87%. You are illustrating it for us.

Believe what you will or must. Get back to me in 20 years and let me know how it works out for you.


I was widowed. Had he not died we'd still be happily together.

And no, divorces fail because people don't communicate their needs, and they ignore flags. Marriage is about doing things for each other and compromising, not giving up your own identity. Though with so many kinds of people in this world, you can't speak for us all. Sometimes your methods will work, sometimes they won't.

But if you get to a place where you need marriage counseling, it's already almost too late I think.
 
2012-11-20 03:36:57 PM  

JackieRabbit: For those of you calling me down about my ideas about marriage: there's a reason why the divorce rate is over 50% and why the failure rate of cohabiting relationships is 87%. You are illustrating it for us.


Because human beings, by nature, are not meant to be monogamous for life just like most of the animals on the earth and society is no longer shunning those who realize this?
 
2012-11-20 03:37:48 PM  

jst3p: JackieRabbit: For those of you calling me down about my ideas about marriage: there's a reason why the divorce rate is over 50% and why the failure rate of cohabiting relationships is 87%. You are illustrating it for us.

Because human beings, by nature, are not meant to be monogamous for life just like most of the animals on the earth and society is no longer shunning those who realize this?


Hey it works for some people. It doesn't for others. Sometimes it's just about finding the right combination.
 
2012-11-20 03:46:10 PM  

kiwimoogle84: jst3p: JackieRabbit: For those of you calling me down about my ideas about marriage: there's a reason why the divorce rate is over 50% and why the failure rate of cohabiting relationships is 87%. You are illustrating it for us.

Because human beings, by nature, are not meant to be monogamous for life just like most of the animals on the earth and society is no longer shunning those who realize this?

Hey it works for some people. It doesn't for others. Sometimes it's just about finding the right combination.


Fair enough, but I think I make a fair point about the divorce rate. It doesn't necessarily mean more marriages are failing. It could be an indicator they fewer failed marriages like this one "she can't leave the man who beats her and her kids because she can't get a job and society will treat her like a leper if she does" are being continued. 

In short, divorce is not the only indicator of a failed marriage.
 
2012-11-20 03:48:44 PM  

jst3p: kiwimoogle84: jst3p: JackieRabbit: For those of you calling me down about my ideas about marriage: there's a reason why the divorce rate is over 50% and why the failure rate of cohabiting relationships is 87%. You are illustrating it for us.

Because human beings, by nature, are not meant to be monogamous for life just like most of the animals on the earth and society is no longer shunning those who realize this?

Hey it works for some people. It doesn't for others. Sometimes it's just about finding the right combination.

Fair enough, but I think I make a fair point about the divorce rate. It doesn't necessarily mean more marriages are failing. It could be an indicator they fewer failed marriages like this one "she can't leave the man who beats her and her kids because she can't get a job and society will treat her like a leper if she does" are being continued. 

In short, divorce is not the only indicator of a failed marriage.


Oh absolutely. Thank god my mom had the balls to take my sisters and I and RUN.

I see a lot of couples who claim to never fight. Not fighting isn't an indicator of a happy marriage, it's an indicator of a miserable, non-communicative one.
 
2012-11-20 03:55:36 PM  
JackieRabbit ,

What are you talking about? I just gave you rational justification for keeping an email account secret from your spouse. And no it has nothing to do with being up to no good. If you think the ONLY reason somebody would keep a password from a spouse is because of no good then you are paranoid with trust issues. I can't imagine being in a relationship where I'm so worried about them cheating that I have to know everything. That's not trust. If you think somebody can be lured away to a hotel room from an e-mail you never really where in a healthy relationship with them to begin with.

I'll say it again t's disrespectful and rude to let somebody else read e-mails that are meant for me. Sometimes my friends write funny things I'd like to share those things with other people so I ask them first if it's okay because they sent it to me in an e-mail with the understanding that I'm the one reading it. I'm not going to post private e-mails to me somewhere else or let somebody else read them without getting permission first from the person writing to me. I'd be really really really upset if a friend of mine shared my e-mails with somebody else. And I would not write to them anymore. And no my e-mails are not sneaky bad mails .. it's just silly stuff that doesn't matter. But trust matters. And if I can't even write an e-mail to somebody without it being shared then I'm not going to trust that friend anymore. I should be able to have conversations with my friends without somebody's husband or boyfriend getting in the middle of it. Sometimes you just want to talk to your friend.

I can't stand the attitude that if you are doing nothing wrong you have nothing to hide because I'm doing nothing wrong and I have nothing to hide. It's such a bad feeling to know you're living your life doing nothing wrong and somebody comes along and says they have to monitor what you do because there is no reason not to. It literally gives me a sick feeling in my stomach. It's like you're not even thought of as a person but some crazy animal who can't be trusted not to run off so you need to be in a cage. It takes away fun in your life. It takes away your individuality. It takes away from personal relationships you have with your friends.

I can't think of any reason somebody would need the password to my e-mail unless they were the paranoid stalker type. My e-mails are sent to me. ME. What is somebody else going to do with my mail other than be a stalker?

Gosh, just imagine if somebody had a total psycho husband and he used e-mails to get personal information on people for bad reasons. Or if he read e-mail from a friend and developed a crush on them and started writing to them pretending he was the wife at first. This all is just so creepy I can't even deal.
 
2012-11-20 03:57:29 PM  

JackieRabbit: For those of you calling me down about my ideas about marriage: there's a reason why the divorce rate is over 50% and why the failure rate of cohabiting relationships is 87%. You are illustrating it for us.

Believe what you will or must. Get back to me in 20 years and let me know how it works out for you.


Either there are a lot of married people who aren't living together or living together unmarried is a much better idea than getting hitched.

And who's to say that it's not your shockingly co-dependent ideas that are responsible?
 
2012-11-20 04:02:15 PM  
I should say my parents have been married for over 30 years. They don't even care about different e-mail accounts.
 
2012-11-20 04:03:30 PM  
By the way Jackie Rabbit- you ignored my question. Did my description of my poor friend's marriage, in which he sacrificed complete individuality and identity and no longer has any shred of life of his own, sound healthy to you?

If you say yes, you're completely insane and you're what's wrong with women. I have to imagine you're female because no man would EVER spout the kind of nonsense you're trying to feed everyone.
 
2012-11-20 04:10:56 PM  

kiwimoogle84: By the way Jackie Rabbit- you ignored my question. Did my description of my poor friend's marriage, in which he sacrificed complete individuality and identity and no longer has any shred of life of his own, sound healthy to you?

If you say yes, you're completely insane and you're what's wrong with women. I have to imagine you're female because no man would EVER spout the kind of nonsense you're trying to feed everyone.


I wouldn't bet on the male gender having great ideas when it comes to relationships.
 
2012-11-20 04:11:52 PM  

JackieRabbit: For those of you calling me down about my ideas about marriage: there's a reason why the divorce rate is over 50% and why the failure rate of cohabiting relationships is 87%. You are illustrating it for us.

Believe what you will or must. Get back to me in 20 years and let me know how it works out for you.


It may have something to do with marrying the wrong person, or jumping into a bad marriage because society tells you you have to be married to be a real person. Too many people shackle themselves to jerks and biatches because they think they have to.

kiwimoogle84:
Ok. Fun story time. I have a friend. He's been married for ten years. Over the course of those ten years all the things he loved before they got together (anime, video games, pinup girls, roller derby, smoking a pipe, magic the gathering, comic books, etc) eventually got all packed into boxes in the garage. He has no hobbies. He has no friends because his wife disapproves of them. He exists to drive his wife and her mother around. He is a slave to her whims and can't even leave the house for an hour without explaining himself fully, and even then it always leads to an argument.

That story is like looking into my alternate future if things had worked out for the worse (she actually joked once about my growing my balls back like it was a bad thing).

/I like these threads because everyone I know in real life is sick of my stories
//except the current, she's alternately amused and horrified by the psychopaths who came before her
 
2012-11-20 04:16:02 PM  

I May Be Crazy But...: kiwimoogle84: By the way Jackie Rabbit- you ignored my question. Did my description of my poor friend's marriage, in which he sacrificed complete individuality and identity and no longer has any shred of life of his own, sound healthy to you?

If you say yes, you're completely insane and you're what's wrong with women. I have to imagine you're female because no man would EVER spout the kind of nonsense you're trying to feed everyone.

I wouldn't bet on the male gender having great ideas when it comes to relationships.


*TWEEEEEET*

Personal foul. Unnecessary sexism. That's a ten yard penalty, repeat second down!

Some of the most acclaimed experts in the field of interpersonal communication and relationship therapy are men.
 
2012-11-20 04:17:14 PM  

Bondith: JackieRabbit: For those of you calling me down about my ideas about marriage: there's a reason why the divorce rate is over 50% and why the failure rate of cohabiting relationships is 87%. You are illustrating it for us.

Believe what you will or must. Get back to me in 20 years and let me know how it works out for you.

It may have something to do with marrying the wrong person, or jumping into a bad marriage because society tells you you have to be married to be a real person. Too many people shackle themselves to jerks and biatches because they think they have to.

kiwimoogle84:
Ok. Fun story time. I have a friend. He's been married for ten years. Over the course of those ten years all the things he loved before they got together (anime, video games, pinup girls, roller derby, smoking a pipe, magic the gathering, comic books, etc) eventually got all packed into boxes in the garage. He has no hobbies. He has no friends because his wife disapproves of them. He exists to drive his wife and her mother around. He is a slave to her whims and can't even leave the house for an hour without explaining himself fully, and even then it always leads to an argument.

That story is like looking into my alternate future if things had worked out for the worse (she actually joked once about my growing my balls back like it was a bad thing).

/I like these threads because everyone I know in real life is sick of my stories
//except the current, she's alternately amused and horrified by the psychopaths who came before her


I swear, I think I've had a relationship with every bad type of boyfriend there is. The man child (had a new ps3 and TV but had holes in his socks and underwear)

the overly attached to mommy (was too scared to finish college even though his parents were footing the bill and was on antidepressants for no reason whatsoever)

The overly controlling (actually told me I shouldn't wear pants anymore, skirts only)

The subtly abusive (told me to put the fork down because he could hear me getting fat)

The not so subtly abusive (broke my jaw)

...etc.

Yeah, we've all got stories. Hopefully you've got a good one now.
 
2012-11-20 04:32:01 PM  

kiwimoogle84: The subtly abusive (told me to put the fork down because he could hear me getting fat)


Sorry, I loled.
 
2012-11-20 04:34:02 PM  

jst3p: kiwimoogle84: The subtly abusive (told me to put the fork down because he could hear me getting fat)

Sorry, I loled.


Oh it's hilarious now. Don't worry. I laugh too.
 
2012-11-20 04:35:41 PM  

kiwimoogle84: jst3p: kiwimoogle84: The subtly abusive (told me to put the fork down because he could hear me getting fat)

Sorry, I loled.

Oh it's hilarious now. Don't worry. I laugh too.


That's subtle?
 
2012-11-20 04:36:20 PM  
I don't open my TF that often anymore. Staring down into that vast, empty, BIE-less abyss gnaws on my soul.
/Just a little each time
//still hurts though
 
2012-11-20 04:46:52 PM  
I wouldn't give my passwords to my wife my mistress would get pissed. Besides going through my emails is akin to going through her purse IMO.
 
2012-11-20 04:57:24 PM  
Amateurs....

www.ndtv.com
 
2012-11-20 05:02:39 PM  
My wife doesn't know my email password and I don't know hers because, well, we're adults and we each have our own private space.
 
2012-11-20 05:11:07 PM  

AutumnWind: JackieRabbit ,

What are you talking about? I just gave you rational justification for keeping an email account secret from your spouse. And no it has nothing to do with being up to no good. If you think the ONLY reason somebody would keep a password from a spouse is because of no good then you are paranoid with trust issues. I can't imagine being in a relationship where I'm so worried about them cheating that I have to know everything. That's not trust. If you think somebody can be lured away to a hotel room from an e-mail you never really where in a healthy relationship with them to begin with.


Second.

I'm starting to think that JackieRabbit might actually be my ex.

kiwimoogle84
Yeah, we've all got stories. Hopefully you've got a good one now.

The best. I appreciate her more because I've got such insanity to compare her to.

Unless you were talking about stories. I've got plenty of those too.
 
2012-11-20 05:19:15 PM  
I check my husband's email regularly. The only emails he ever gets are from his old college friend, Ashley Madison. They're just friends, so it's okay...
 
2012-11-20 05:28:33 PM  
BIE? 

It's never BIE...
 
2012-11-20 06:02:40 PM  
When the woman I have sex with most often and I have sex with other people, and its not the same event, we'll typically tell each other all about it if it was hot and interesting, or perhaps just say "meh" if it wasn't.

Pardon me for having no interest in marriage whatsoever.
 
2012-11-20 06:24:23 PM  

jst3p: I May Be Crazy But...: kiwimoogle84: By the way Jackie Rabbit- you ignored my question. Did my description of my poor friend's marriage, in which he sacrificed complete individuality and identity and no longer has any shred of life of his own, sound healthy to you?

If you say yes, you're completely insane and you're what's wrong with women. I have to imagine you're female because no man would EVER spout the kind of nonsense you're trying to feed everyone.

I wouldn't bet on the male gender having great ideas when it comes to relationships.

*TWEEEEEET*

Personal foul. Unnecessary sexism. That's a ten yard penalty, repeat second down!

Some of the most acclaimed experts in the field of interpersonal communication and relationship therapy are men.


I should have said something like "having a monopoly on great ideas". Not that some guys don't know what's going on, but that some guys surely think like that.
 
2012-11-20 06:36:19 PM  

JackieRabbit: Dimensio: jst3p: Dimensio: I am too technically inclined and security-conscious to consider giving anyone, even a significant other, access to my email accounts. I cannot comprehend needing a "secret" email account to hide correspondence from a significant other, because any significant other that I would have would have no reason to access my standard email accounts.

This.

I don't have hers and she doesn't have mine. If "trust" requires that you read each others email, well that isn't what I think "trust" looks like.

When previously in a relationship, my significant other did not have a login password for my computer, and I did not have a login password for his. The concept of giving a romantic partner access to private computer accounts is incomprehensible to me.

I agree with you. A mere boyfriend or girlfriend is not entitled to such private information. Until there is a commitment of exclusivity - as in cohabiting or marrying - it's none of his/her business.


Fortunately, the voters of the state of Kentucky prevented our relationship from reaching that state.
 
2012-11-20 07:22:43 PM  

SuperChuck: kiwimoogle84: jst3p: kiwimoogle84: The subtly abusive (told me to put the fork down because he could hear me getting fat)

Sorry, I loled.

Oh it's hilarious now. Don't worry. I laugh too.

That's subtle?


More subtle than a broken jaw...

or three ribs...
 
2012-11-20 10:56:49 PM  
....could hear me getting fat....


The whole thread was worth this.

/"ex"-wife cheated on me using the inter webs mail
//had a SO that had to read my texts and emails........goodbye
///don't share any of that with anyone
////cause I DONT cheat
 
2012-11-21 01:43:49 AM  

mrbach: ....could hear me getting fat....


The whole thread was worth this.

/"ex"-wife cheated on me using the inter webs mail
//had a SO that had to read my texts and emails........goodbye
///don't share any of that with anyone
////cause I DONT cheat


Happy to have made your evening with my horror stories :)
 
2012-11-21 01:56:36 AM  
yes

bie? eip
 
2012-11-21 08:49:36 AM  
My BIE account can hardly be considered secret since I have EIP.
 
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