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(Slate)   "I curse all the f*cking time. Can I stop cursing all the goddamned time before my son-of-a-biatching baby is born?"   (slate.com ) divider line 38
    More: Silly, developmental psychologies  
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8442 clicks; posted to Main » on 19 Nov 2012 at 3:30 PM (3 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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Archived thread
2012-11-19 01:29:30 PM  
8 votes:
Dear everyone. Your baby can't understand words in the womb. Stop acting like they can already speak your language before they're born. If you want to talk inflection, then does it still matter? If you scream "CHEESE AND RICE!" instead of "JESUS CHRIST!" isn't the baby still hearing your pissed off voice regardless of what words you're using?
2012-11-19 01:28:03 PM  
4 votes:
I use my and my wife's outbursts to teach our kids that mommy and daddy arnt perfect and they should shoot higher than being just like us.
2012-11-19 05:22:56 PM  
2 votes:
I remember when my daughter was about 12 months and she accidentally shut herself in the kitchen. From outside I heard this little voice say "oh shiat". She said it in a very calm and contemplative way, just as you would if you accidentally locked yourself in somewhere you couldn't get out of by yourself.

We never really worried about swearing in front of her. I read that if you don't make a big fuss about swearing, they tend not to do it (being told its naughty encourages them, etc). Lo and behold, that actually seems to be true. Kids just don't seem to feel the need to swear really. I think if it ever was an issue all I would have said was something like "you shouldn't use words you don't understand" and I remember telling her she shouldn't say such-and-such in front of Granny (but that applies to all sorts of very mild language, my mother is a relic).

She's 16 now and still rarely swears, although she has obviously known how to swear like a trooper her whole life. I don't care really if I hear her describe someone as a c*nt (rare), although I pretend mock horror (lol). Actually she's very well behaved and well balanced.

Also remember one of my boyfriends teaching her to yell "fark off" and punch someone in the nuts if they tried to grab her in the street when she was 4 years old. She was ever so embarrassed about saying something so naughty and had to be drilled again and again to shout it as loud as possible. Funny to watch. My ex's rationale was that EVERYONE will stare if they hear a 4 year old swear like that, which is what he told her too.

In this day and age there really is no point being anal about kids knowing or using "rude" words, as long as they know when it is or isn't appropriate. I would rather she was able to defend herself from bullies at school than being a prim princess. And that is really what has happened - kids trip her in the hall, they get an earful. They don't do it again. Sorted.

So far she's not falling prey to peer pressure to do hard drugs and stuff like that, and she tells me what goes on at parties etc without needing to lie. Wants to be a lawyer.

Swearing? Who gives a fark.
2012-11-19 03:55:55 PM  
2 votes:

ToxicMunkee: Dear everyone. Your baby can't understand words in the womb. Stop acting like they can already speak your language before they're born. If you want to talk inflection, then does it still matter? If you scream "CHEESE AND RICE!" instead of "JESUS CHRIST!" isn't the baby still hearing your pissed off voice regardless of what words you're using?


Correct. However if you don't want your kid to swear in inappropriate situations, it's best to keep from saying these words yourself.

Besides, one of the pleasures of childhood is learning forbidden words. Spoiling your kids with swears is like giving them cheat codes to their games. Let them learn them for themselves!
2012-11-19 03:46:21 PM  
2 votes:
Not sure why this is a deal. I'm not going to stop swearing in front of my kids (farking appliances sometimes don't farking work), nor do I care if someone uses curse words around children, as long as the kids aren't being verbally abused with it. The offensiveness is entirely arbitrary.

Will still train the Inchoatelets in the rudiments of politeness, so they don't sabotage their chances with some atavistic authority figure by dropping some F-bombs.
2012-11-19 03:46:20 PM  
2 votes:

WhippingBoy: When my son way very young, I used to swear in front of him, thinking it would do no harm.

Then one day, when he was about 18 months (with a limited vocabulary), I heard him say, "f**k this s**t!".
There's nothing quite as humbling as knowing that you've taught a baby to swear. I don't think I've sworn since that day.


They're going to do it at some point in their life. What's the big deal?
2012-11-19 03:39:03 PM  
2 votes:
Im pretty good about not swearing in front of my nieces or nephew. There is a time to swear but if you jsut swear all the time it takes the effect of the word away and just makes you sound dumb.
2012-11-19 03:36:16 PM  
2 votes:
meh, don't worry about it... have a friend who is a CO and his wife is one of the most foul mouth people I have ever met...cute as a button but has a very perverse vocabulary. And they have two daughters that they never bothered to stop swearing around and the kids seem to know when and when not to use that language based on when their parents use it.
2012-11-19 01:58:26 PM  
2 votes:

ToxicMunkee: Dear everyone. Your baby can't understand words in the womb. Stop acting like they can already speak your language before they're born. If you want to talk inflection, then does it still matter? If you scream "CHEESE AND RICE!" instead of "JESUS CHRIST!" isn't the baby still hearing your pissed off voice regardless of what words you're using?


Link

You are quite right.
2012-11-19 01:21:00 PM  
2 votes:
I used to curse like a stevedore before I had kids. I just stopped doing it in front of the kids. It's not f*cking hard.
2012-11-19 07:01:05 PM  
1 vote:

GreatGlavinsGhost: Babwa Wawa: I used to curse like a stevedore before I had kids. I just stopped doing it in front of the kids. It's not f*cking hard.

I've always wondered who swears more, a sailor or a truck driver?


Neither. This guy does.

/ oblig
// NSFW language, of course
2012-11-19 06:17:48 PM  
1 vote:
Years ago, my kid in second grade was playing with a rubber band on his wrist. He pulled it too tight, and when it popped his wrist, he said "shiat.'' The girl sitting next to him immediately told the teacher he said, 'shut up.' At that point, my son corrected the girl, which caused the teacher to have the vapors. At the conference with the teacher, we calmly explained that epithets are most appropriate in times of stress, such as pain. After we told her we would only give a consequence for inappropriate language, she had another case of the vapors, so he moved to another class, with a more mature adult.

He still cusses when stuff hurts or surprises him, and so do the rest of us. No one has died from it, and teachers rarely argue with honor roll students.
2012-11-19 06:16:21 PM  
1 vote:

Bumblefark: BadAdviceGuy: Bumblefark: Easy: the former. One child produced a grammatical statement. The other did not.

And, that's the problem: not the words themselves, but that it doesn't require much language mastery to deploy them. When they make up a disproportionate amount of one's vocabulary early on, they become a crutch. And then, fast forward 20 years, and Child #2 is still speaking that way in a mostly context-independent way whereas Child #1 has slowly acquired the skills to use profanity in a more artful and socially effective way.

The correct answer is that one of them said doodypants and should be severly beaten. Nobody who uses that term at any point in their life becomes an artful master of profanity later. If you want your child to when an insult fight, you've got to teach them to be a pro in profanity at an early age. Don't let your children bring a 'gosh darnit' to an F-bomb fight.

If making sure your kid can out-curse the other kids on the playground is genuinely an organizing concern for you as a parent, so much so that you're willing to sacrifice their normal language development toward that end...more power to you, I guess. The world needs ditch diggers too.

But, I just don't see genuinely foul-mouthed little kids growing up to be "masterful" at much of anything, even cursing. That's sort of my point. When my kid is in the role of Child #2, I want him to be the one with the retort: "You know who else has doodypants? You're mom, ever since I gaped her ass with a tire iron while your dad watched."

But to pull that off, rather than just aimlessly emote with word-salads like "Shut up you motherfarking cocksucking son of a biatch", you actually have to tend to basics of language learning first...which means putting words with little grammatical content on the periphery of everyday speech.


That's odd--this foul-mouthed kid is getting a PhD in English from a top 30 university. (And I teach composition!) But who knows, maybe if I hadn't stunted my intellect by using silly magic words as interjections and exclamations I would be some kind of farking rocket surgeon or something.

/At a top 10 school!
2012-11-19 06:07:23 PM  
1 vote:

BadAdviceGuy: Bumblefark: Easy: the former. One child produced a grammatical statement. The other did not.

And, that's the problem: not the words themselves, but that it doesn't require much language mastery to deploy them. When they make up a disproportionate amount of one's vocabulary early on, they become a crutch. And then, fast forward 20 years, and Child #2 is still speaking that way in a mostly context-independent way whereas Child #1 has slowly acquired the skills to use profanity in a more artful and socially effective way.

The correct answer is that one of them said doodypants and should be severly beaten. Nobody who uses that term at any point in their life becomes an artful master of profanity later. If you want your child to when an insult fight, you've got to teach them to be a pro in profanity at an early age. Don't let your children bring a 'gosh darnit' to an F-bomb fight.


If making sure your kid can out-curse the other kids on the playground is genuinely an organizing concern for you as a parent, so much so that you're willing to sacrifice their normal language development toward that end...more power to you, I guess. The world needs ditch diggers too.

But, I just don't see genuinely foul-mouthed little kids growing up to be "masterful" at much of anything, even cursing. That's sort of my point. When my kid is in the role of Child #2, I want him to be the one with the retort: "You know who else has doodypants? You're mom, ever since I gaped her ass with a tire iron while your dad watched."

But to pull that off, rather than just aimlessly emote with word-salads like "Shut up you motherfarking cocksucking son of a biatch", you actually have to tend to basics of language learning first...which means putting words with little grammatical content on the periphery of everyday speech.
2012-11-19 05:46:18 PM  
1 vote:
Everyone in my family swears all the time, but my parents actually taught me from the young age when it was ok and when it was not.

/Remember's asking at what age i could swear when i wanted
//it was 13
///First thing I said on my 13th birthday was "god damn I'm farking glad I'm 13 now"
2012-11-19 05:42:15 PM  
1 vote:

Mija: moothemagiccow: WhippingBoy: When my son way very young, I used to swear in front of him, thinking it would do no harm.

Then one day, when he was about 18 months (with a limited vocabulary), I heard him say, "f**k this s**t!".
There's nothing quite as humbling as knowing that you've taught a baby to swear. I don't think I've sworn since that day.

They're going to do it at some point in their life. What's the big deal?

Not true. Some people do not swear. It makes you sound like an uneducated redneck who lacks self control. Better to learn that young. Like it or not you will be judged by others. One wrong word can completely alter another persons view of you. Sure, maybe your child will learn to swear but do you really want to be the one who teaches him?


I'm looking forward to teaching my children to say "go fark yourself" to the kind of sanctimonious pricks that judge people on superficial, arbitrary shiat like this.
2012-11-19 05:29:36 PM  
1 vote:
Oooooh, special, magical words! Spooky ooky words that make you sound dumb, or offend people by referring to common bodily products and actions, or maybe give you cancer, or re-crucify the baby jesus all over again, or something equally silly and childish according to people who are all mighty and pure and good and moral and special.
Magic! Superstition! Oooooooooooooo!

Most languages have always had a space for exclamations and expletives of some kind. They are useful as both verbal filler and as a brief mental distraction in times of stress or pain (there was some study where people that cursed and yelled could keep their hands in a bucket of ice water longer than people that tried to keep silent). The words, and their meaning, change over time. The prohibition on using such words is usually a class/control thing--if you don't use those words then you're special and pure, but if you do you're terrible and low class. Never mind that in creating alternatives for those words (gosh, darn, shoot, heck, flip, and so on) you're still using those words. You're still invoking them and their meaning, so even uptight religious folks, with their gosh's and h-e-double-hockey-sticks are hurting jesus. Or whatever.

I think I'm going to teach my kids to think and act rationally, and to chose their words accordingly, and you can go fark yourself if you don't like it.

/Can't wait for that first call from a teacher.
//Little Timmy said what? I raised him better than that--he should have said "fark" instead of "shiat," it would have been more grammatically appropriate.
///Ooooooooooooooooo!
2012-11-19 05:26:44 PM  
1 vote:

BadAdviceGuy: Bumblefark: BadAdviceGuy: You could stop cursing all the time, however there is absolutely no reason to. Language is language, and you should never intentionally limit the vocabulary of your child.

Fitting handle.

One child says to another on the playground
"You're ugly, doodypants."
the other child responds
"Shut up you motherfarking cocksucking son of a biatch."

Which child would you rather be the parent of? All parents of the responsibility to make sure their children are well armed with the right vocabulary for the right situation. Anything less is bad parenting.


Which one has the higher IQ, is better looking, and comes with a hot milf?
2012-11-19 05:21:57 PM  
1 vote:
I don't watch my language around any kids, if the parents don't want their precious snowflakes to hear a fark, shiat, coont, or motherfarker then they should not bring them out in public. Oh and if they feel the need to try and correct my behavior, well I tell them in no uncertain terms that they and their useless coont droppings can go fark themselves and the biatch whore they were shiat from.
2012-11-19 05:19:28 PM  
1 vote:

moothemagiccow: WhippingBoy: When my son way very young, I used to swear in front of him, thinking it would do no harm.

Then one day, when he was about 18 months (with a limited vocabulary), I heard him say, "f**k this s**t!".
There's nothing quite as humbling as knowing that you've taught a baby to swear. I don't think I've sworn since that day.

They're going to do it at some point in their life. What's the big deal?


It wasn't so much the language as the sad realization that if I don't watch how I act or behave in front of my children, there's a reasonable chance that they'll end up to be the same bitter, jaded, twisted asshole that I am. And that makes me sad.
2012-11-19 05:19:24 PM  
1 vote:

ace in your face: We pretty much cut it out but forgot "damnit". My daughter started saying it around 14 months all the time. When she did we would always be like "Diamond!? I don't see a diamond anywhere!?" But when she got stuck in her high hair and said "damnit" I did feel a little proud she used it in the right context lol.

/Diamondsomuch!


Saw a cute little girl about 2 drop some of her toys in the library the other day. She stood with hands on hips looking down at them and said "oh shiat" - perfect context perfect tone, was absolutely beautiful :)
2012-11-19 05:06:45 PM  
1 vote:
Stephen Fry on the Joys of Swearing - YouTube  I'm going with NSFW for the motherfarking pansies.
2012-11-19 04:53:20 PM  
1 vote:
2012-11-19 04:34:20 PM  
1 vote:

Mr_Fabulous: I used to worry about swearing in front of my daughter, but then I just said fark it. I gotta be me...


You had me at 5'1" college girl.


/Sorry.
2012-11-19 04:04:33 PM  
1 vote:
You could stop cursing all the time, however there is absolutely no reason to. Language is language, and you should never intentionally limit the vocabulary of your child.
2012-11-19 04:00:14 PM  
1 vote:

fruitloop: [i171.photobucket.com image 512x260]

Motherfarking college fund!


Grad school, medical school, and a few years at MIT too!
2012-11-19 03:59:08 PM  
1 vote:

blatz514: reverse swear jar


another thing on youtube that's self-censored for no good reason
2012-11-19 03:45:51 PM  
1 vote:

Babwa Wawa: I used to curse like a stevedore before I had kids. I just stopped doing it in front of the kids. It's not f*cking hard.


I agree.

I swear like the proverbial sailor at work.

I do not swear at all in front of the kids. Ever.

I let the occasional profanity slip out when talking with the wife - I never swear *at* her, it's always about something else.

You have to set the mental boundary to filter out the cussing at home. I did not find it difficult. Your results may vary.
2012-11-19 03:45:18 PM  
1 vote:

ToxicMunkee: Dear everyone. Your baby can't understand words in the womb. Stop acting like they can already speak your language before they're born. If you want to talk inflection, then does it still matter? If you scream "CHEESE AND RICE!" instead of "JESUS CHRIST!" isn't the baby still hearing your pissed off voice regardless of what words you're using?


Well, that was covered quickly.
2012-11-19 03:43:37 PM  
1 vote:
There are many good reasons to not utter imprecations and oaths. The best is that to do so fronts powerlessness.
2012-11-19 03:43:21 PM  
1 vote:
Before the baby is born: not a big deal. After the baby is born: still not a big deal. Baby hits 12-18 months-ish: Time to stop.
Baby hits 2 years old: foul mouthed child
2012-11-19 03:42:39 PM  
1 vote:
When my son way very young, I used to swear in front of him, thinking it would do no harm.

Then one day, when he was about 18 months (with a limited vocabulary), I heard him say, "f**k this s**t!".
There's nothing quite as humbling as knowing that you've taught a baby to swear. I don't think I've sworn since that day.
2012-11-19 03:42:37 PM  
1 vote:

wildcardjack: Work in air traffic control for a while. The threat of FCC fines will make you curb your lip in a hurry.


The FCC has a swear jar?
2012-11-19 03:41:46 PM  
1 vote:

cutelypoisoned.files.wordpress.com

GTFO!

2012-11-19 03:37:38 PM  
1 vote:

Headso: meh, don't worry about it... have a friend who is a CO and his wife is one of the most foul mouth people I have ever met...cute as a button but has a very perverse vocabulary. And they have two daughters that they never bothered to stop swearing around and the kids seem to know when and when not to use that language based on when their parents use it.


Umm...have we met?
2012-11-19 03:35:40 PM  
1 vote:
Work in air traffic control for a while. The threat of FCC fines will make you curb your lip in a hurry.
2012-11-19 02:56:08 PM  
1 vote:
i1079.photobucket.com
2012-11-19 02:12:19 PM  
1 vote:
i.ytimg.com

If I can't swear or smoke, I'm farked!
 
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