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(Slate)   "I curse all the f*cking time. Can I stop cursing all the goddamned time before my son-of-a-biatching baby is born?"   (slate.com) divider line 176
    More: Silly, developmental psychologies  
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8399 clicks; posted to Main » on 19 Nov 2012 at 3:30 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-11-19 04:04:33 PM
You could stop cursing all the time, however there is absolutely no reason to. Language is language, and you should never intentionally limit the vocabulary of your child.
 
2012-11-19 04:06:44 PM
A friend of mine swore like a sailor but when her daughter was born she wanted to try and stop, but she couldnt for whatever reason. So instead she just took to swearing in german. That way if her daughter repeted it most people wouldnt know what she said.
 
2012-11-19 04:09:03 PM
i.chzbgr.com
 
2012-11-19 04:09:07 PM
I'm from a long line of cursers. My father was the most amazing curser I've ever known. He could string together cuss words in amazing combinations. I'm not even in his league.

When my kids were young and impressionable I watched my mouth. Nothing worse than your two year old screaming "F*CK" at the top of his lungs in the grocery store. Now that my kids are grown, they chuckle in amusement when I go into a good cuss rant.
 
2012-11-19 04:09:41 PM

Campanula: Being a teacher is another great way to either curb your cursing or find benign ways to getting your point across. I became fond of the phrase "son of a monkey" when I needed something expletive-y. One 18 month-old may not catch a swear you say accidentally. Thirty-five 15 year-olds most certainly will, and "but they say far worse to each other in the hallway" is not a valid excuse when a snowflake's mother complains to the principal about your language (or so I hear...).


Come to our seance; the spirit of Howard Cosell would like a word with you.
 
2012-11-19 04:12:23 PM

SnyderCat: Umm...I curse like a Navy Seal....


So does Alison Krauss

/the more you know...
 
2012-11-19 04:16:46 PM
I used to worry about swearing in front of my daughter, but then I just said fark it. I gotta be me.

Naturally, she swears a lot now. But she's a little 5'1" college girl, sweet and studious personality, with a baby-ish face. So when she swears, it's sorta cute, disarming and earthy. Not slutty and cringe-inducing, like if she was a tattooed smoking bar-skank.

/miss her a lot
//coming home in 48 hours
 
2012-11-19 04:17:24 PM
No, darling, you can't stop. You are doomed to be the mother of a foul-mouthed brat that swears like a teamster with Tourette's Syndrome (although I must point out that Tourettes sufferers don't necessary swear a lot--it's mostly tics and a problem with authority figures which gets them in trouble, or possibly shot. Only some Tourettte's sufferers swear. Some of them do a pirouette when passing through doorways, or have other tics of a more or less alarming nature).

So what can you do? Well, tell yourself it is futile to try to stop swearing. Your other children will only teach the baby to swear when it is three any way, so your respite will be brief.

But you don't have to resign yourself. Here are several things you can do:

1. Babble. Yes, talk utter nonsense when you are not swearing. The baby will copy you and then, when it comes out with one of the words you still can't say on TV, it will have a real effect.

2. Act surprised and paranoid. Who taught the baby that word? Look around suspiciously. Make other people feel they have to defend themselves. The best defence is a good offence.

3. Teach the baby some real swear words. I don't mean obscenities, but words that will totally surprise the Vicar. Swearing in Ancient Sumerian will do that, even if the Vicar is pig-ignorant.

4. Teach the baby to swear in foreign languages. If you know one yourself, it helps to swear in that language. For example, the French swear in English while the silly English just say "pardon my French". Who do you suppose gets on better? The French, of course! Nobody cares if you swear in English. It doesn't count. People may feel the same way about swearing in Russian or Yiddish. Use your gift for words.

5. Teach your baby WHEN to swear and you don't have to worry about HOW it swears. You can have fun with this. Teach the baby that swear words are a condiment to be used sparingly, not ketchup.

6. Learn to ignore everything your child says and does. This is the nearly universal solution to bad behaviour before the age of 16, or the child's first child of its own, whichever comes first.

7. When your child misbehaves, tell it that you hope it gets children just like it when it grows up. But remember, YOU WILL BE THE BABYSITTER. A Mother's Curse often backfires like that. So think of that when you swear and maybe you'll find the strength to stop swearing so, er, obviously.

8. Make up your own swearwords. The sillier the better. Let somebody else beat the Devil out of your little monster.

9. And when all else fails, don't worry. There's a good chance that you will stop swearing in front of the child by the time it learns to speak. Failure is a great motivator. Also, you will probably be too tired to swear by then.
 
2012-11-19 04:22:07 PM
Learning to swear is just as important as learning not to swear...

2.bp.blogspot.com
 
2012-11-19 04:23:01 PM
fark that shiat
 
2012-11-19 04:24:57 PM

Madame Psychosis: Learning to swear is just as important as learning not to swear...

www.scifi-movies.com

 
2012-11-19 04:26:48 PM

Madame Psychosis: Learning to swear is just as important as learning not to swear...

[2.bp.blogspot.com image 617x424]


what is that from? I just saw that recently but can't place it
 
kab
2012-11-19 04:29:09 PM
Look. Your kid will be doing it soon enough, even if you absolutely never swear in front of him. Feigned outrage at it accomplishes nothing, and makes adults look dumb.

"can ya farkin' believe she said that on tv?"
 
2012-11-19 04:30:17 PM
Try expanding your vocabulary you miserable hag.
 
2012-11-19 04:30:39 PM
A well timed swear word can be devastating. If you run around cursing like a sailor, you just sound like a douche.

If you swear in front of your young children, fark you. You're part of the problem.
 
2012-11-19 04:31:07 PM
Last year during a family vacation pre-Christmas at my brothers house, my mother decided that she didn't like any swearing by anyone (we were all over thirty years old at the time) so she told us all to stop. None of us were using fark or anything too explative but she didn't like it anyway. Two minutes after her speech telling us not to swear she used a word she specifically told us not to. We pointed this out to her and what resulted was a long series of expletives, yelling and screaming from her. This went on for a half an hour and she threatened to leave and go back home because everyone was against her and also she blamed all of her swearing on other people. She is hypocritical because swears more and more loudly than a battle ship of sailors, but swear in front of her and somehow you are doing it to offend just her. I've also been admonished by her for using swear alternatives like using freaking, instead of farking
 
2012-11-19 04:32:03 PM

Headso: Madame Psychosis: Learning to swear is just as important as learning not to swear...

[2.bp.blogspot.com image 617x424]

what is that from? I just saw that recently but can't place it


Paul.
 
2012-11-19 04:34:20 PM

Mr_Fabulous: I used to worry about swearing in front of my daughter, but then I just said fark it. I gotta be me...


You had me at 5'1" college girl.


/Sorry.
 
2012-11-19 04:36:05 PM
had a boss that spent too many years working underground for NY Bell. when he became suit & tie branch manager for ITT-BCC in NJ the poor schlub just couldn't curb the mouth. he would drop the 'F' bomb in front of anyone anywhere twice in every sentence he uttered, all day long every day. spent the other half of his time apologizing profusely. nice guy, intelligent, handsome, well dressed, absolutely no filter. you could see he really didn't mean to offend anyone. what a trip.


--- ITT-BCC= International Telephone & Telegraph Business Communications Corporation, long defunct
 
2012-11-19 04:36:08 PM

Headso: Madame Psychosis: Learning to swear is just as important as learning not to swear...

[2.bp.blogspot.com image 617x424]

what is that from? I just saw that recently but can't place it


It's from the movie Paul
She gets to try out swearing for the first time in her life and comes up with such gems as "F*ckeroo, that was the best titty-farting sleep I have ever had."
 
2012-11-19 04:36:54 PM

CitizenTed: [i.ytimg.com image 480x360]

If I can't swear or smoke, I'm farked!


Came for this, leaving sassifyed.
 
2012-11-19 04:40:47 PM
most people have 2 languages, one for adults and one for kids
you haven't been around a lot of kids or you would have it
but if you slip tell the kids they can use the word if they know the meaning
by that time they probably are using the words anyway
 
2012-11-19 04:42:30 PM
Why swear in front of the kids? That's what co-workers are for!
 
2012-11-19 04:42:48 PM

BadAdviceGuy: You could stop cursing all the time, however there is absolutely no reason to. Language is language, and you should never intentionally limit the vocabulary of your child.


Fitting handle.
 
2012-11-19 04:45:52 PM
Most important rule of parenting a small child: Don't laugh at or reinforce a behavior unless you want to see it done again hundred times.

A good parent cares a little bit about what other people think, but not too much. Does that mean you shouldn't swear in front of your kids or laugh when they swear? Nah. If that's their biggest behavior problem, they'll be fine, and the profanity thing is purely personal choice (our house is no profanity but it's not a priority either). But a small child who swears like a sailor, bites the other kids, tortures the cat and knows how to roll a joint... that's a kid you should probably start a bail money fund for instead of the college fund.
 
2012-11-19 04:47:07 PM
 
2012-11-19 04:48:09 PM

brantgoose: No, darling, you can't stop. You are doomed to be the mother of a foul-mouthed brat that swears like a teamster with Tourette's Syndrome (although I must point out that Tourettes sufferers don't necessary swear a lot--it's mostly tics and a problem with authority figures which gets them in trouble, or possibly shot. Only some Tourettte's sufferers swear. Some of them do a pirouette when passing through doorways, or have other tics of a more or less alarming nature).


s12.postimage.org

Like this?
 
2012-11-19 04:52:28 PM

wildcardjack: Work in air traffic control for a while. The threat of FCC fines will make you curb your lip in a hurry.


www.mastermousepatrol.com
 
2012-11-19 04:53:10 PM
Hell, do what my wife and I did. Before our daughter was born, we had the same worry since we both could swear enough to set the house on fire. We set up a swear jar with the difference being that a swear cost $20. We learned to watch our language pretty farking fast, because we started to go broke pretty farking fast.
/that motherfarking jar had enough to go on vacation with in about two weeks
//about as long as it took for us to learn to watch our language
 
2012-11-19 04:53:20 PM
 
2012-11-19 04:54:00 PM

Bumblefark: BadAdviceGuy: You could stop cursing all the time, however there is absolutely no reason to. Language is language, and you should never intentionally limit the vocabulary of your child.

Fitting handle.


One child says to another on the playground
"You're ugly, doodypants."
the other child responds
"Shut up you motherfarking cocksucking son of a biatch."

Which child would you rather be the parent of? All parents of the responsibility to make sure their children are well armed with the right vocabulary for the right situation. Anything less is bad parenting.
 
2012-11-19 04:54:53 PM

signaljammer: There are many good reasons to not utter imprecations and oaths. The best is that to do so fronts powerlessness.


Why don't you ram it up your pim-hole, you fusking cloff prunker.
 
2012-11-19 04:56:06 PM

BadAdviceGuy: Bumblefark: BadAdviceGuy: You could stop cursing all the time, however there is absolutely no reason to. Language is language, and you should never intentionally limit the vocabulary of your child.

Fitting handle.

One child says to another on the playground
"You're ugly, doodypants."
the other child responds
"Shut up you motherfarking cocksucking son of a biatch."

Which child would you rather be the parent of? All parents of the responsibility to make sure their children are well armed with the right vocabulary for the right situation. Anything less is bad parenting.


fark yeah!
 
2012-11-19 04:56:19 PM
So, do the opposite of this, then? (NSFOfficeDrones, PerfectlySafeForLongshoremen)
 
2012-11-19 04:57:46 PM
I have one rule for swearing in front of kids; If you bring your kid into a bar, I'm not going to curb my language.
 
2012-11-19 04:57:53 PM

yoursafewordisharder: Hell, do what my wife and I did. Before our daughter was born, we had the same worry since we both could swear enough to set the house on fire. We set up a swear jar with the difference being that a swear cost $20. We learned to watch our language pretty farking fast, because we started to go broke pretty farking fast.


How does this even work? If i needed a 10 for some lunch I'd just pilfer the swear jar, I'd need some kind of swear jar where all involved in the pact each had a key like the missiles on a nuclear sub...
 
2012-11-19 04:59:44 PM

BadAdviceGuy: Bumblefark: BadAdviceGuy: You could stop cursing all the time, however there is absolutely no reason to. Language is language, and you should never intentionally limit the vocabulary of your child.

Fitting handle.

One child says to another on the playground
"You're ugly, doodypants."
the other child responds
"Shut up you motherfarking cocksucking son of a biatch."

Which child would you rather be the parent of? All parents of the responsibility to make sure their children are well armed with the right vocabulary for the right situation. Anything less is bad parenting.


Reminds me of a neighborhood squabble we had with some racists from Arkansas. The kids were just awful and they were always running their mouth. One of them was a little boy, aged 7 or so. I was 10 or so. After listening run their mouth about whatever (repeating things their parents were saying) I finally said, "Chris...why don't you go fark your mama's pussy?"

I'd like to believe the neighborhood was glad I said it, but I'm sure they didn't want a little boy alluding to such an incestuous act.
 
2012-11-19 05:02:22 PM
I remember a lawyer who used to pull the 1st Amendment card when others would get on his case about his crude language. He later marries and relocates to the Sierra Nevada Foothills. One day someone noticed he curbed his cussing and he explained that he had a daughter and didn't want her to use the f-bomb on guests.

/CF-ingStoryBro
 
2012-11-19 05:02:28 PM
Easy: the former. One child produced a grammatical statement. The other did not.

And, that's the problem: not the words themselves, but that it doesn't require much language mastery to deploy them. When they make up a disproportionate amount of one's vocabulary early on, they become a crutch. And then, fast forward 20 years, and Child #2 is still speaking that way in a mostly context-independent way whereas Child #1 has slowly acquired the skills to use profanity in a more artful and socially effective way.
 
2012-11-19 05:05:06 PM

jaylectricity: BadAdviceGuy: Bumblefark: BadAdviceGuy: You could stop cursing all the time, however there is absolutely no reason to. Language is language, and you should never intentionally limit the vocabulary of your child.

Fitting handle.

One child says to another on the playground
"You're ugly, doodypants."
the other child responds
"Shut up you motherfarking cocksucking son of a biatch."

Which child would you rather be the parent of? All parents of the responsibility to make sure their children are well armed with the right vocabulary for the right situation. Anything less is bad parenting.


Bumblefark: Easy: the former. One child produced a grammatical statement. The other did not.

And, that's the problem: not the words themselves, but that it doesn't require much language mastery to deploy them. When they make up a disproportionate amount of one's vocabulary early on, they become a crutch. And then, fast forward 20 years, and Child #2 is still speaking that way in a mostly context-independent way whereas Child #1 has slowly acquired the skills to use profanity in a more artful and socially effective way.


Doh...forgot the motherfarking quotey-thingies...
 
2012-11-19 05:06:45 PM
Stephen Fry on the Joys of Swearing - YouTube  I'm going with NSFW for the motherfarking pansies.
 
2012-11-19 05:07:30 PM

Bumblefark: Doh...forgot the motherfarking quotey-thingies...


It would be great if those farking existed.
 
2012-11-19 05:08:46 PM
We pretty much cut it out but forgot "damnit". My daughter started saying it around 14 months all the time. When she did we would always be like "Diamond!? I don't see a diamond anywhere!?" But when she got stuck in her high hair and said "damnit" I did feel a little proud she used it in the right context lol.

/Diamondsomuch!
 
2012-11-19 05:14:37 PM
Your diction is a matter of practice and habit. But that sounds like work so fark that.
 
2012-11-19 05:18:57 PM
My parents have sworn around me my whole life. The first "swear incident" I had at school was reasoning that if you're allowed to say "hell" at church, I didn't see why you couldn't say it at school, and I said "What the hell?" at something when I was about seven. The teacher made me write a letter to my parents about how I said a bad word. It ended up being some tear-stained defensive letter along the lines of "I HEARD SOMEONE SAY IT ON TV AND THEY DIDN'T EVEN BLEEP IT AND THAT ISN'T A SWEAR." I think my mom almost laughed herself to death.
 
2012-11-19 05:19:24 PM

ace in your face: We pretty much cut it out but forgot "damnit". My daughter started saying it around 14 months all the time. When she did we would always be like "Diamond!? I don't see a diamond anywhere!?" But when she got stuck in her high hair and said "damnit" I did feel a little proud she used it in the right context lol.

/Diamondsomuch!


Saw a cute little girl about 2 drop some of her toys in the library the other day. She stood with hands on hips looking down at them and said "oh shiat" - perfect context perfect tone, was absolutely beautiful :)
 
2012-11-19 05:19:28 PM

moothemagiccow: WhippingBoy: When my son way very young, I used to swear in front of him, thinking it would do no harm.

Then one day, when he was about 18 months (with a limited vocabulary), I heard him say, "f**k this s**t!".
There's nothing quite as humbling as knowing that you've taught a baby to swear. I don't think I've sworn since that day.

They're going to do it at some point in their life. What's the big deal?


It wasn't so much the language as the sad realization that if I don't watch how I act or behave in front of my children, there's a reasonable chance that they'll end up to be the same bitter, jaded, twisted asshole that I am. And that makes me sad.
 
2012-11-19 05:21:44 PM

WhippingBoy: moothemagiccow: WhippingBoy: When my son way very young, I used to swear in front of him, thinking it would do no harm.

Then one day, when he was about 18 months (with a limited vocabulary), I heard him say, "f**k this s**t!".
There's nothing quite as humbling as knowing that you've taught a baby to swear. I don't think I've sworn since that day.

They're going to do it at some point in their life. What's the big deal?

It wasn't so much the language as the sad realization that if I don't watch how I act or behave in front of my children, there's a reasonable chance that they'll end up to be the same bitter, jaded, twisted asshole that I am. And that makes me sad.


Keep them away from your parents. Problem solved!
 
2012-11-19 05:21:57 PM
I don't watch my language around any kids, if the parents don't want their precious snowflakes to hear a fark, shiat, coont, or motherfarker then they should not bring them out in public. Oh and if they feel the need to try and correct my behavior, well I tell them in no uncertain terms that they and their useless coont droppings can go fark themselves and the biatch whore they were shiat from.
 
2012-11-19 05:22:56 PM
I remember when my daughter was about 12 months and she accidentally shut herself in the kitchen. From outside I heard this little voice say "oh shiat". She said it in a very calm and contemplative way, just as you would if you accidentally locked yourself in somewhere you couldn't get out of by yourself.

We never really worried about swearing in front of her. I read that if you don't make a big fuss about swearing, they tend not to do it (being told its naughty encourages them, etc). Lo and behold, that actually seems to be true. Kids just don't seem to feel the need to swear really. I think if it ever was an issue all I would have said was something like "you shouldn't use words you don't understand" and I remember telling her she shouldn't say such-and-such in front of Granny (but that applies to all sorts of very mild language, my mother is a relic).

She's 16 now and still rarely swears, although she has obviously known how to swear like a trooper her whole life. I don't care really if I hear her describe someone as a c*nt (rare), although I pretend mock horror (lol). Actually she's very well behaved and well balanced.

Also remember one of my boyfriends teaching her to yell "fark off" and punch someone in the nuts if they tried to grab her in the street when she was 4 years old. She was ever so embarrassed about saying something so naughty and had to be drilled again and again to shout it as loud as possible. Funny to watch. My ex's rationale was that EVERYONE will stare if they hear a 4 year old swear like that, which is what he told her too.

In this day and age there really is no point being anal about kids knowing or using "rude" words, as long as they know when it is or isn't appropriate. I would rather she was able to defend herself from bullies at school than being a prim princess. And that is really what has happened - kids trip her in the hall, they get an earful. They don't do it again. Sorted.

So far she's not falling prey to peer pressure to do hard drugs and stuff like that, and she tells me what goes on at parties etc without needing to lie. Wants to be a lawyer.

Swearing? Who gives a fark.
 
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