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(Yahoo)   "Your extended family is gathered around the candlelit, gorgeously appointed table, admiring and giving thanks for the Thanksgiving bounty, when Grandpa suddenly unleashes an epic fanfare of window-rattling flatulence"   (shine.yahoo.com ) divider line
    More: Amusing, Thanksgiving, Thanksgiving bounty, martini glass, sexual dysfunction, East Village, Manhattan, nutmeg, tables, grandparents  
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807 clicks; posted to FarkUs » on 19 Nov 2012 at 10:06 AM (3 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-11-19 09:45:31 AM  
I'm having trouble thinking of anybody who didn't know the best way to survive family drama is to get drunk.

I don't understand it anyway. I can't remember the last time anybody in my family argued during a family holiday party. And we drink a lot. Maybe we genuinely love each other and can handle our booze. I didn't realize that was so rare.
 
2012-11-19 10:22:07 AM  
Geez, people - you know I like to vent the pipes before a big feed! Stop acting so goddamned surprised and aghast every time!
 
2012-11-19 10:24:12 AM  

jaylectricity: I'm having trouble thinking of anybody who didn't know the best way to survive family drama is to get drunk.

I don't understand it anyway. I can't remember the last time anybody in my family argued during a family holiday party. And we drink a lot. Maybe we genuinely love each other and can handle our booze. I didn't realize that was so rare.


It's not. People just like to make out that it is, because it's supposed to be funny. These are people who think "The World According to Jim" is also high-larious. They want to imitate it.
 
2012-11-19 10:48:24 AM  

Benevolent Misanthrope: These are people who think "The World According to Jim" is also high-larious.


Hmmm...like a certain "book it. done." guy from Chicago we know from around here.
 
2012-11-19 11:23:04 AM  

oldfarthenry: Geez, people - you know I like to vent the pipes before a big feed! Stop acting so goddamned surprised and aghast every time!


I immediately thought of you when I saw this, but then I thought "Wait, he's Canadian, he doesn't care about Thanksgiving this week"
 
2012-11-19 12:01:26 PM  
To open a window, go to page 5.

To roll your eyes and say, "Ew, Grampa!", go to page 17.
 
2012-11-19 12:09:55 PM  

jaylectricity: I'm having trouble thinking of anybody who didn't know the best way to survive family drama is to get drunk.

I don't understand it anyway. I can't remember the last time anybody in my family argued during a family holiday party. And we drink a lot. Maybe we genuinely love each other and can handle our booze. I didn't realize that was so rare.


Same here. I wish we had family drama just to break up the boredom of family gatherings. Debating with rabid demagogues would sure be a lot better than hearing how my aunt's garden is doing this year.
 
2012-11-19 12:11:30 PM  

Your Zionist Leader: oldfarthenry: Geez, people - you know I like to vent the pipes before a big feed! Stop acting so goddamned surprised and aghast every time!

I immediately thought of you when I saw this, but then I thought "Wait, he's Canadian, he doesn't care about Thanksgiving this week"


Well, of course not. He celebrated Thanksgiving last month. :-D
 
2012-11-19 01:04:32 PM  
It makes me think of something that happened the other day where somebody posted in our closed facebook group, "I'm glad this group is closed because I need to vent about my family and friends on facebook. I can't believe the level of derp when it comes to politics. I don't want to say anything because I don't want to stir up shiat in the family," or something like that.

Often times people don't want to speak up because they don't want to cause trouble. Those people are the kind of people that SHOULD speak up, because they sound reasonable. The unreasonable ones that USUALLY speak up are the ones that cause all the trouble.
 
2012-11-19 02:11:53 PM  

Arkanaut: To open a window, go to page 5.

To roll your eyes and say, "Ew, Grampa!", go to page 17.


obvious exits: left, right, fireplace.
 
2012-11-19 02:13:50 PM  
Will be interesting this Thursday...my brother is having 16 people over for turkey-day...including my 97 yr grand father who does indiscriminate farts. At least he'll be showered and wearing clean clothes...hopefully he doesn't dirty himself.
 
2012-11-19 02:21:09 PM  
My grandpa does the walking farts as he leaves the table, crop-dusting everyone in his path.
 
2012-11-19 03:26:18 PM  

jaylectricity: It makes me think of something that happened the other day where somebody posted in our closed facebook group, "I'm glad this group is closed because I need to vent about my family and friends on facebook. I can't believe the level of derp when it comes to politics. I don't want to say anything because I don't want to stir up shiat in the family," or something like that.

Often times people don't want to speak up because they don't want to cause trouble. Those people are the kind of people that SHOULD speak up, because they sound reasonable. The unreasonable ones that USUALLY speak up are the ones that cause all the trouble.


Yet another reason I don't have FB.
Anyone remember email? It's free, just like FB, and you can send me your pictures of your crotchfruit, and any political screed you want, and I can either look at them, delete them, and then reply to whom I want about whatever crazy rant you were on when you mass-mailed that latest load of bullshiat.

My friends/famiily know that, and I don't have to "wait for the group to close" or whatever load of horseshiat that is, to have an intelligent conversation with folks I want to interact with.

/Plus, I don't have to take time out to wade through FB bullcrap every day.
 
2012-11-19 11:39:15 PM  
forget childhood, i work hard to do so. holidays as an adult spent with my sisters families are wonderful. i love them all so much that i can barely contain the joy i feel when i'm with them. i'm forever thankful that i wasn't born in a poverty stricken third world shiathole. i've done nothing to deserve the blessed life of plenty i have, but i am very grateful for the gift of fate that put this blessing upon me. being a really large man that has the emotional sensitivity of a little girl is beyond my control. thankfully my family doesn't mind when i burst out crying when i'm overcome with joy.
 
2012-11-20 08:45:40 AM  
Thanks subby. That headline reminded me of my granpa E who'd be sitting in his easy chair next to my gran and let a loud one go and look over to gran and say dammit woman, have you any manners, and she'd roll her eyes at him.

Holidays with them were fun since he was pretty much a big kid. One thanksgiving some of the adults got into a heated political discussion during dinner and he picked up his plate gave everyone a disgusted look and exclaimed that he was moving to a more civilized table and sat down with us kids, promptly faked blowing his nose with his handkerchief and when he removed it his lower set of fake teeth were hanging from his nose. Miss that goofy old man.
 
2012-11-20 06:58:58 PM  
We almost always played cards after Thanksgiving dinner. One year, the dog was under the table and farting up a storm -- silent but deadly.

The next day, on our way to Black Friday sales (9 a.m. back then), my brother and I were talking about the dog's disgusting farts. My mom turns to us and says it was her all along. She let us blame the dog. I almost cried I laughed so hard.
 
2012-11-21 11:03:13 PM  

TXEric: Anyone remember email? It's free, just like FB, and you can send me your pictures of your crotchfruit, and any political screed you want, and I can either look at them, delete them, and then reply to whom I want about whatever crazy rant you were on when you mass-mailed that latest load of bullshiat.


Or (and hear me out, here) we could save email for important messages and post all our pictures on FB and use FB the way we want to instead of insisting we just continue to use old technology.
 
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